Chapter 5

"So you aren't holdinga headless waterfowl statue?" I asked, as I strolled over to Crow.

Ryder was on his phone again. He thought he was being quiet, but I heard, "cheese master" and "complaint."

"Delaney. Boo-boo. Have I told you how lovely you look lately?" Crow was full-blood Siletz, his short hair heavy and black, his eyes full of mischief. He had been an uncle to me all my life.

"What's up with the bird?"

"I think someone is hunting me," he said.

"Is it Mrs. Yates? Because apparently you have beheaded her famous penguin statue, and she's gonna kill you for stealing her cash cow to fame?"

"This isn't her penguin." He held up the body, then dug around in the messenger bag slung below his hip. "This is one of the spares I made. I mean one of the statues I kept when you made me clean up that penguin mess that had absolutely nothing to do with me, and it was unfair of you to make me clean up so many concrete penguins, by the way. I didn't put them in her yard. I've told you that, right? I'm innocent?"

"You've been telling me you're innocent since I was five and caught you eating the center piece you'd cut out of the brownie pan."

"That was the best piece."

"The brownies weren't for you, Crow."

"I'm sure you're wrong about that."

"No, the brownies were a housewarming gift Dad was going to take over to the Persons when they moved in. I remember because I wanted a piece of brownie and couldn't have one."

"I offered you a bite."

"I know."

"I offered you half if you wouldn't snitch."

"I know."

"You ratted me out to your dad."

"And you had to bake a new batch of brownies. Pretty sure that's when I decided to become a police officer. Dad gave me and Myra and Jean the pan of brownies you'd defiled."

"Including the center piece," he said. Then he half bent, not a bow, but leaning in like he was sharing a secret. "You're welcome."

I scoffed. "You did not do that so we girls could get a pan of brownies."

"Didn't I?"

I wouldn't put it past him. Crow always had some kind of scheme going. He was a trickster god, and even though he was on vacation, there was only so long he could go before he was up to his ass in trouble.

"You just wanted to mess with my dad. The brownies were a means to an end."

"I was always surprised at what little thing finally got to him." He grinned, and lines spread away from the corners of his eyes.

He was trouble, but it was usually happy trouble.

"So what's up with the statue?" I asked.

"It was left on my doorstep."

"In a box?" Myra asked, coming up to us.

Ryder had taken his call back down the hall toward the storage room, ignoring us completely.

"No box. I was going to open the shop early. See if I could get some of those sweet tourist bucks. Talent show's day after tomorrow, you know."

"We know," we both said.

"This was propped next to my door."

"No box?" Myra asked again.

"Why are you so focused on a box?"

"Odin received a package he didn't order," Myra said.

"That's a crime?"

"It was a weapon," Myra said.

"Someone mailed a gun to Odin?" Crow's eyebrows went up. "To Odin?"

"It wasn't a gun," I said. "It was a spear."

"O-kay. Through the mail?"

"No," Myra said. "Dropped off beside his doorstep."

"What kind of spear?"

We didn't say anything.

"Just a random spear, though, right?

"Why?" I wouldn't put it past him to be a part of this. He might have found Odin's secret spear closet and picked the lock. He might have left the spear on the doorstep just to brag about what he could do when Odin wasn't looking.

But Crow was watching me, his expression calculating as if he were working through possibilities. I'd seen his scheming face all my life. I'd seen his lying face too. But this was his god face—or as close to it as I saw in Ordinary.

"It was magic," he said. "He wouldn't care if someone sent him a random spear. He'd use it as a prop for one of his carvings. Bear with a Spear. Dog with a Spear. Spear with a Spear.

"It was Gungnir, wasn't it?" He wiped his hand over his mouth. "Hells. Grungnir?"

I nodded. "It was."

"Who the fuck got into Odin's realm? How did they even break into his realm? And who smuggled it into Ordinary without you noticing?"

"We don't know," I said. "But I don't feel weapons—magical or otherwise—when they're brought here. I only notice gods."

"Did Odin say when it was stolen?"

"Just that it was delivered."

"This is…Breaking into a god realm. Holy shit, how could…" His voice trailed off, and he stared into the distance for a second.

"You have some ideas on that?" I asked. "How it could have been done? Who could have done it?"

"First," he stuck up a finger. "I would check that he didn't send it to himself."

"Why would he—"

"Shush-sha. He's a drama queen, that's why."

"He's not as bad as—"

"He is. All gods are. Trust me on that, cookie."

"You did not just call me cookie."

"Pumpkin? Sweetie? Cupcake?"

"Wanna try that again?"

"Trust me that gods are drama queens who always make every little thing about themselves, Chief Reed."

I just shook my head. "I kind of want to go back to the statue you were so worried about so I can get rid of you."

"No. Come on, Delaney, I'm just giving you a hard time. Things have been so boring. The busted penguin is the most excitement I've had all week."

"Did you break it?"

"You learn quick, don't you? But no. I found it knocked over on my doorstep. Probably just kids screwing around."

"Where do you keep it normally?"

"In the flower pot out front. The penguin was busted, a couple flowers were picked, dirt thrown around. I'd say a dog had been digging in the dirt, but it's a pretty tall pot. A dog couldn't reach it."

"What about that thing about you being hunted?" Myra asked.

He shrugged. "You weren't taking the penguin seriously, so I lied."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Go away now."

"But I was helping. Before you forced me to admit I was lying about being hunted, and confess I think the penguin is just some kids goofing off, and call you every delicious pastry on the shelf, which is a compliment when you think about how much I love pastry, I was helping."

"Do you want to file a report about the statue?"

"I do not," he said.

"Good. Go away."'

"C'mon, Nancy Drew. Let me help you solve the mystery of the stolen spear."

"No."

"He's a god. It's a god item."

"No."

"I'm a god. I like stealing god items."

I gave him a hard look.

"Well, not lately."

"That doesn't mean you get to play detective."

"Consultant. I'm not going to tromp around dark alleys and chew on old cigar butts."

"That's not what a detective does," I said.

"Which is why I'm not going to do it. I'll consult."

"Okay," Myra said.

"What?" I turned on her. "What did you just say?"

"I think we need a consultant."

Ryder's voice rang out from the back. "Cheddar? What do you think this is, a retirement party?"

"We're a little short-handed," she went on. "And Crow knows how things can be stolen from gods because he's stolen things from gods."

"Allegedly," he said. "Crow has allegedly stolen things from gods."

"You literally just confessed to it a minute ago," she said. "There are dozens of stories about you stealing from gods. It's kind of your thing."

"Talk about typecasting. I steal from other people, too, you know."

"Not helping," I said.

Myra pulled her phone out of her pocket, and it rang. "What's up?" she answered.

"Look, Crow," I said. "If you're bored, Bertie could use some help."

"Working for Bertie isn't what I'd call fun."

"Solving crimes isn't fun either. It's work."

"We gotta go," Myra said, striding back to her desk to grab a small backpack.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"There's been another mailing."

"Who?" I dug my keys out of my pocket and headed toward the door.

"Zeus." She was across the floor, right behind me.

Ryder spun from the hallway, his whole body zeroing in on me even though he still had his phone to his ear.

"Gotta call," I said. "Zeus. Myra and I got it. Hold down the fort."

He nodded and made his way between desks to the front counter.

Crow had jogged around us, and held the door open. When I strode through it, he jogged after me.

"You're not coming."

"I'm coming."

Myra opened the cruiser door and ducked inside. I slid behind the wheel of my Jeep.

Crow popped the passenger door and got in beside me.

"This isn't a game, Crow. You stay behind."

"Do you know what Zeus's weapon is, Delaney? The one he locked away before coming to Ordinary?"

"Lightning bolt," I said.

"Lightning bolt," he agreed. "Zeus's weapon is a lightning bolt. So let's get there before the fire department arrives."

Since I was losing time as it was, I threw on the lights and hauled out of the parking lot.