Chapter 44

CHAPTER 44

SLATE

T he girl drove me nuts. That just was the way it was.

Since I'd arrived here, she'd had me on some kind of emotional seesaw that I'd never even known existed. Everything was intensified when we were together.

The worry. The happiness. The pleasure.

All of it.

Life was suddenly fucking colorful, and painful, and distressing, and all kinds of shit I'd never realized I could feel quite so acutely. That was why I hadn't been able to sleep.

I'd been lying in my bed with my dick doing its best to imitate concrete and my heart trying to kill me as I'd thought back to the events of the afternoon. Jess had me all twisted up inside and knowing that she'd been facing off with Oden while I'd been shooting the breeze with her brother had driven me halfway crazy.

Then there had been all that pent-up rage at him for daring to lay a hand on her, the pent-up desire to comfort and protect her, and then the pent-up lust because seeing her like that really had been sexy as all hell.

I'd just been pent-up. Bent out of shape. Lying in my bed wondering whether I should be jerking off or planning a hit. It had been confusing—and then I'd heard her knock on my door.

Before I'd even climbed out of bed, I'd known who would be at the other side and I hadn't been disappointed. I had, however, been surprised that she'd come to me to apologize.

I still wasn't sure why she felt like she had to.

I kissed her now with the taste of her on my tongue and my heart slamming against my ribs, my dick no longer simply trying to imitate concrete but getting it right. I felt like a part of me was trying to climb into her. I held on to her, but it wasn't enough.

I needed more. I just didn't know how to get it. Or what that thing inside me was really even trying to do.

All I knew was that it wasn't enough. Nothing was enough. Not right now.

Gathering her up in my arms, I ignored the flash of surprise on her features over what I'd said. It'd been true, after all. I couldn't get enough of her and I didn't know if I ever would. Shit, I really didn't even know what I wanted from her anymore.

It wasn't just sex, but it was definitely sex too. I didn't just want it, either. I needed it more than I needed my damn heart to keep beating.

Feeling slightly like I was losing my ever-loving mind, I carried her to the bed and laid her down gently, knowing we had to keep it down and wishing harder than I ever had before that it wasn't necessary. Jess lay on her back on the mattress, watching. I pushed off my boxers and struggled to draw enough air into my lungs.

She cocked her head at me. "Are you okay?"

"No." I crawled onto her and reached for the box of condoms hidden in the nightstand. "I just need you."

"I know what you mean," she whispered, opening her legs to make space for me after I'd rolled on the condom. She ran her hands through my hair, her fingernails strangely soothing against my scalp. Like they were reminding me that she was real.

All this was real.

It was too intense, but it was real and she was here with me. Whatever was going on out there, it was just her and me in here, and while it was like this, we were both fine. Safe. Together.

I positioned my tip against her hot entrance. Sealing my mouth over hers, I sank into her. My heart was beating way too fast as I buried myself deep inside her. She kept her hands in my hair, her kisses gentle and almost comforting, as if she was trying to reassure me of something.

Maybe that she was okay. That Oden really hadn't hurt her. Or maybe it was more than that. Maybe it was that she really did know what I'd meant and that she felt the same way. Or maybe all of the above.

Breaking the kiss so I could look at her, I slid my hands into hers and twined our fingers together. Since she still had a tank on, she wasn't naked and yet I'd never felt closer to another person. It fed whatever beast was living in me these days.

It made him purr and roll into a little ball like a happy, lazy kitten. For the first time since I'd gotten that call from Sophie, I felt like I could breathe again. Jess moved with me, her eyes on mine and her fingers holding on to my hands.

Oh, great. Intimacy. That's what I've been craving. Fuck.

I couldn't deny it, though. I brought my lips back to hers and kissed her once more, and I felt better than I had since that night in the hayloft. When we'd been intimate without even having sex.

As soon as I leaned into it, my orgasm started to build. It sped up on me like an out-of-control dragster in a race and I thrust into her harder, grateful that the old bed wasn't at all squeaky. Jess closed her legs around my hips, meeting every one of my thrusts and hanging onto me like she'd never willingly let go.

I groaned into her mouth, hoping that we weren't making too much noise. "Jess, I can't."

"Let go," she breathed against my ear, kissing me harder.

I reached the point of no return. Hips jerking against hers, I came so hard that I might've stopped breathing for a few minutes. When I came to again, she was kissing my eyelids and stroking my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I rolled off her, bringing her with me to rest her head on my chest while I kept holding her. I didn't even bother with the condom immediately, just trying to get my heartrate under control. "Yeah, I'm fine. Today was just a lot, you know?"

To my surprise, she let out a soft giggle. "You don't need to tell me, but it feels like every day is like that nowadays."

"Fair enough." I adjusted my grip on her as my body relaxed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm all better now," she murmured, turning her head to press a kiss right over my heart. "Thanks to you. I thought I was going to die of humiliation earlier."

I chuckled. "Glad I could help, but seriously, you didn't have anything to be embarrassed about. You stood up for yourself, Jess. I'm really fucking glad you did. I just can't believe he'd try to force you into a car with him, and now that I'm leaving, I just?—"

She sat up suddenly. Her lips parted and she stared at me with her eyes wide. "You're leaving?"

"Just for the weekend," I said, realizing she hadn't been here when I'd made the arrangements earlier. "I'm going back to New York to see Mira and Beau. I've been gone almost six weeks and a lot changes with a baby in that amount of time. I'll be back. I just don't want him to forget about his uncle Slate."

"Talk about almost giving somebody a heart attack." She lay down again, cuddling into my side. "I thought Oden had scared you off for a minute there."

I kissed the top of her head and snorted. "Not fucking likely. I'm sorry for almost giving you a heart attack, though. I forgot you'd already left with Sophie when I decided to go."

She sighed. "That's okay. I suppose it's only fair after I did the same thing to you earlier, but maybe we should stop stressing each other out."

"Definitely," I agreed. "I won't make you think I'm running away again, but you need to stop picking on people who might run you over."

"Deal." She laughed softly, the sounds muffled by my chest.

I smiled, chuckling softly myself until I realized that now that she knew, it was official. I was leaving for the weekend.

"I'm worried about leaving you here while I'm gone," I admitted before letting out a deep sigh. "Things feel off kilter. I don't like the thought of going right now."

"We'll be fine," she assured me, looking up into my eyes. "You're right about how much babies change in six weeks. Besides, it's only for the weekend. We can manage without you for two days. I promise."

"I know, but this sabotage business has me nervous. I've spoken to an investigator who'll be coming out tomorrow to start working, but?—"

"Do you really think that's still necessary?" she asked. "We know Oden did it. Why bother spending time and money when we already know who's responsible?"

"Because we need to be able to prove it," I replied. "Not just believe it. If we can't find some evidence that it was him, he gets away with it and we can't let that happen."

"Agreed, but what are the chances that he actually left any evidence behind?" she asked. "He's a slimy prick who's probably done this dozens of times. I'm sure he's got it down to an art."

"I doubt it," I replied honestly. "He may be a slimy prick, but he's a suit. I meant it when I said he'd only do something like this if he was desperate, and desperation breeds sloppiness. We'll find something."

"You told Austin that desperation also breeds danger. Do you think he's just going to let this go?"

"Probably not," I replied honestly. "Whoever his client is, they really want this land. Whether he gets it for them or someone else, they're not going to just accept that there's no deal to be made."

"What does that mean for us?" She frowned up at me. "Do you think they'll send someone else with another offer?"

I shrugged. "That remains to be seen. It depends on who the client is and how much they trust him. If it's someone he hasn't done a lot of good work for in the past, they'll send someone else, but he's got a good reputation. They might just tell him to take another whack at it himself."

"Well, that's not a good idea." She scoffed. "Dad might've been willing to sell to him before the sabotage, but damaging that equipment was a surefire way to guarantee he won't ever take an offer from the man."

"I suspect he overplayed his hand," I murmured. "We'll see, but in the meantime, I need you to be safe while I'm gone. No going off the reservation and kicking out headlights of the representatives who may come talk to you while I'm not here."

She smiled and waggled her eyebrows at me. "I could've sworn I've already told you that I don't make promises I can't keep."

I let out a soft groan and buried my face in her hair. "What am I going to do with you?"

With you. About you. Just you. In general.

She chuckled and burrowed deeper into my side. I held her tighter, honestly at a loss about how to handle whatever this was between us. Today had proven to me that I cared about her. Deeply.

I was about eighty percent sure she cared about me too, but we weren't serious. We were simply two people who had been attracted to one another since we'd first laid eyes on each other at my sister's wedding, but that was it.

At least, that used to be it, but as I lay there holding her, I didn't know if that was all it was anymore. I also didn't know what I was supposed to do about it if it wasn't.

Austin had been right the other day. I wasn't the type for cow shit and open pastures forever, and Jess wasn't the type for anything else.

Which meant that we were dead in the water.

Once this project was over, I'd be moving on and Jess would be staying. Either at Merrick Meadows or on a brand new farm, but definitely in Firefly Grove. A place I was starting to love but didn't know if I would ever truly belong in.