Chapter 23

Snowflakes danced outside the window of Jesse’s mansion, a stark contrast to the warmth enveloping Roman as he trudged into the living room. He was exhausted after a night of lying awake, all kinds of horror scenarios running through his head, followed by nightmares in which Roman had done everything he could, but those he loved had still died. His parents. Wander. Caleb. He’d woken up terrified, the realization that they’d been mere dreams only coming slowly.

“You look like shit,” his brother said. “Bad night?”

With a deep sigh, Roman settled on the couch across from Wander. “The worst.”

“Nightmares?”

“Never-ending ones, and everyone died.”

Wander winced. “I hate those. You wake up more tired than when you went to bed.”

“No kidding.”

Wander leaned forward. “Is it that bad feeling you had?”

“I don’t know, man. I wish I did, but I can’t tell if it’s because I’m so concerned for Caleb or because I genuinely have some kind of premonition.”

“You’re in love with him, yeah?”

What was the use of denying it? “Yeah, very much so. And yes, you’re allowed to laugh.”

Wander grinned. “Why would I laugh? I’m happy for you, Ro. He’s just as crazy about you as you are about him. I could say I knew this would happen when I set you two up, but I honestly had no clue you’d connect this way. But it’s beautiful to see.”

“You don’t think I’m too old for him?”

Wander shrugged. “That’s not for me to decide. That’s Caleb’s choice, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give a fuck.”

“He told me he likes older men.”

“There ya go. Ryan and Alex have a similar age gap, by the way, and those two are so happy it annoys the fuck out of everyone else.”

Roman chuckled. “Which Ryan takes great pleasure in, I’m sure.”

“That he does. But it’s hard to be upset with him when it’s so easy to see how happy Alex makes him. He’s like this little ray of sunshine that brought light to Ryan’s darkness.”

“Just like Caleb did with me.”

Wander cocked his head. “With you, it wasn’t so much darkness. It was more emptiness, loneliness. He brought life.”

His brother had seen so much more than Roman had realized. “You hit the nail on the head with that one.” And since they were on the topic of Caleb, he might as well come clean about his plans. “I’m meeting Mark in a few minutes, and I’m gonna ask him to train me. Caleb spoke of him highly, so I asked Jesse for his number.”

Wander widened his eyes. “That’s a big step, Ro. I’m impressed. You’re doing that for Caleb?”

Even if Roman hadn’t recognized the trick question, he still would’ve answered with the truth. “No, I’m doing this for me. I owe it to myself to discover this part of myself…and to become the Dom Caleb needs.”

“Great answer. I know you didn’t ask for it, but you have my blessing.”

Roman smiled. “No, I didn’t ask for it, but it means a lot to me, so thank you. I hope to make you proud.”

“You always have, so there’s no reason to expect any different now.”

The doorbell rang. “That will be Mark.” Roman rose from the couch. “I’ll see you later?”

“Let me know how it goes with Mark.”

Someone had already let Mark into the library, so Roman made his way over there as well. He caught his reflection in a hallway mirror and cringed. Jesus, he looked like a corpse with his gray pallor and bags under his eyes. Still, he hadn’t wanted to cancel the appointment he’d set up after much thought. He could use the distraction, and even more, he needed help—from someone other than his brother.

“Master Mark?” Roman’s baritone was steady, betraying none of the uncertainty knotting his gut.

Master Mark turned from where he stood by the fireplace, the flames casting an ominous glow on his chiseled features. He assessed Roman with a gaze that bored down to his very soul, measuring and weighing him. Roman offered a handshake that was met with a firm grip. “Roman Dwyer.”

“Mark Wilson. Pleasure to meet you. You resemble your brother.”

“Thank you. That’s a compliment in my book.”

“It was certainly meant as one. I’m very fond of Wander, both as a friend and a Dom.”

“Let’s sit.” Roman gestured at the couch, and they chose seats opposite each other.

“What can I do for you?” Mark asked.

Roman took a deep breath. “I’ve been…experimenting with D/s play lately.”

Mark quirked an eyebrow. “You’re new to the scene? I would have expected with your brother…”

He left it unfinished, but Roman had no trouble following what he had wanted to say. “I had my reasons, both professional and personal, but things have changed.”

“Who have you been playing with? No, let me guess.” A long pause. “Caleb.”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“He’s the most versatile sub here…and you’re his type. He likes older guys. Are you two together?”

How the hell did he answer that question? “I hope so, but let’s keep that between us for now.”

“Gotcha. My lips are sealed.”

“When I arrived, Wander sent me Caleb as a…a distraction, I suppose. A way to blow off some steam. One thing led to another, and here we are.”

“Hmm.” Mark’s lips quirked in a knowing smile. “Wander does have a knack for stirring things up, doesn’t he?”

Roman let out a dry chuckle. “He sure does.”

“What do you need from me?”

Roman got up and walked toward the window, the thick rug in Jesse’s library muffling his steps. Snowflakes swirled outside, a silent dance against the windowpanes, but the storm inside him raged fiercer. He wrestled with the unraveling of a life meticulously built into…into, what, exactly? A free-for-all where he had no clue what to expect, what to do, who he was. It scared him as much as it exhilarated him.

“Caleb and I connected.” He turned around and leaned with his back against the window. “He got under my skin. And he needs this. He needs me to be…more.”

“He needs you to be his Dom.” Mark’s eyes were unyielding, but Roman respected him for it.

“Yes.” The single word was a pledge sealed with newfound conviction. “And I want to be what he needs.”

“Hmm.” Mark tapped his fingers on the armrest. “What have you done with him so far?”

“Rough sex, spanking, and I spanked him with my belt as well.” Amateur stuff for Mark, undoubtedly, but one had to start somewhere, right?

“And that went well?”

“Very well. He loved it, and so did I.”

“What exactly draws you to this? To him?” Mark’s questions were probing, but Roman wasn’t offended. The Dom took his role seriously, and Roman could only respect that.

“It’s not just about what he needs. It’s about what I crave too. The control, the trust…it’s intoxicating.”

“Intoxicating.” Master Mark chewed over the word as if tasting a fine whiskey. “But are you drunk on power or drunk on him?”

“Both,” Roman said without hesitation. “But it’s not some fleeting high. It’s grounded in something real, something solid between us.”

Mark ceased his tapping. “When you’re with Caleb, when you’re calling the shots, how does that make you feel?”

“Alive.” The truth surged through Roman like an electric current. “More myself than I’ve been in years. I love the responsibility, the intensity. It’s like I discovered a new part of me, like I unleashed something. It’s hard to explain, but it’s not a game for me.”

“Good. Because for Caleb, this isn’t a game either. It’s his reality. It’s who he is at his very core.”

“I’m beginning to understand that, and that’s why I’m asking for your help. I want you to train me, to help me become the Dom Caleb needs.”

Mark whistled. “You really are serious about this.”

“As serious as can be.”

“Does Wander know? Does Caleb?”

“Yes and no. I told Wander, but I can hardly ask my brother to train me, since that would cross boundaries between us I’m not comfortable crossing. And I haven’t talked to Caleb about it because…” He couldn’t tell Mark Caleb was in Boston, but he had to give him something. “I wanted to get your approval first.”

Mark leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers. “You know I’ve had my share of scenes with Caleb, right? Intense ones involving sex. I just wanted to put that out in the open.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut. A fleeting storm cloud of jealousy darkened Roman’s thoughts. He’d known this, of course, but to hear the man mention it so casually was still jarring. A pause, brief as a heartbeat, and then Roman drew in a deep breath, expelling the unwanted emotion. “I’m aware, but it was before he and I met and connected. And Caleb speaks highly of you and trusts you. That’s enough for me.”

Mark nodded. “Glad to hear it. He’s a sweet kid and a fantastic sub. Very eager to please.”

Roman sat again, some of his unrest spewing out of him. “He is.”

“Trust is sacred. Consent, communication, and trust are the pillars of what we do.”

“Understood.”

“Training you means taking on responsibility for you, and I don’t do that lightly. Granted, the fact that you’re Wander’s brother makes it easier, but still. As your trainer, I’m responsible for you. So before I make a decision, I need to make sure you understand what it is we do. I play by the principles of RACK. Are you familiar with that?”

“Risk-aware consensual kink?” Roman recalled a term from the depths of the online forums he’d scoured.

“Correct. There’s a crucial difference between RACK and the often-cited principle of safe, sane, and consensual, which is a philosophy I don’t adhere to. Do you know the difference?”

He’d done his homework. “RACK can include kinks that aren’t considered safe per se.”

“Exactly.” A shadow of a smile played on Mark’s lips. “I’m glad to see you did your research. RACK operates based on a clear understanding of the risks involved and explicit consent. Breath play, for example, can be considered unsafe by some, but it would be covered by RACK.”

“Gotcha.”

“It’s not just about what you do. It’s about why you do it, how you do it. And always, always with consent.”

“Consent is everything,” Roman echoed solemnly. This was more than a passing fancy. This was a commitment to Caleb’s well-being, to their future. The Dominant within him awoke, hungry for the knowledge that would make him worthy of the title.

“Training as a Dom is not a four-week course or even a four-month one. You’ll commit to a year of training with me, with at least one session per week. Of course life can get in the way, but that’s the goal.”

“I’m on board with that.”

“As part of your training, you’ll also have to submit to me. We’ll train with Caleb as your sub, but we’ll also do sessions with you as sub and me as Dom. It’s crucial for every Dom to have been in a sub’s shoes so you know what that feels like.”

Oof, that wouldn’t come easy to him, but he understood the principle behind it. Good lawyers were the ones who had worked both sides of the aisle as well, both as a prosecutor and as a defender. “I have no issues with that. You come highly recommended.”

“Thank you.” Master Mark’s nod was curt, decisive. “Training is intense. It will challenge you, strip you down to your core. You ready for that?”

Roman met his stare head-on. “Yes.”

“Then I’m willing to take you on as my student. We can train here or at Jesse’s club, whichever you prefer. Though I guess that for now, here is better. After all, you’re staying here for a reason…”

At least Mark didn’t expect an explanation. “Yes, that would be best. And thank you. I won’t let you or Caleb down.”

“See that you don’t.” Mark stood, his presence commanding. “Our first session starts tomorrow. Be in the dungeon at seven p.m. sharp.”

“I will be there.” Roman’s reply was a promise etched in steel—as unwavering as his determination to master the art of dominance. For Caleb. For them both.