Ashley

Idrop the large cardboard box onto my bed. The last of my stuff from the delivery to my college dorm room. My mother was far too busy to help me move into the dorms as she was out with ‘Skip.' That's not his name, I just call them that because they never stick around for too long and always end up skipping town on her. Not that there's anything wrong with my mother, she's stunning.

She's just a glutton for punishment when it comes to men that are no good for her. But this time it worked out in my favour. It's one of the reasons why we moved up here in the first place. I was lucky enough to get a spot at Brown halfway through sophomore year, thanks to the man my mother is currently dating. I tip the delivery guy who helped me bring everything up and I watch as he looks down the front of my black vest.

"Aint nothing in there for you."

The smug bastard simply smiles at me like he has the right to. I usher him out of the room just as another girl -who I'm assuming is my roommate- barrels in almost knocking me on my ass. Grabbing my shoulders she steadies me, giving the delivery guy a stink ass look.

"Shit. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." It's really not.

Fit in Ashley. Remember.

Make sure everything goes to plan while you're here.

"I'm Mia. You must be Ashley, right?" A wide grin stretches across her face. Great, she's one of those happy ones. Why couldn't I just be paired with the goth kid down the hall. I need to make this work, I need to at least try and fit in while I'm here. For the small amount of time, I plan to be here anyway. Then I can go back to being my miserable self. Like I've been for the last twelve months.

"On all accounts." I mirror her smile, holding out my hand and trying to act as normal as possible. I look nothing like I used to a few weeks ago. Everything about me is different now and after everything, this is how I'm going to fit in.

"Ew, no." She smacks my hand out the way and pulls me in for a tight hug. Yeah, this one's bubbly. "We hug here." Pulling back from the overly tight embrace she looks at the boxes strewn across the room and grimaces.

"I'm sorry," I wince, tucking a strand of my wavy, shoulder length hair behind my ear as I bend down to pick up a box. "I'll make sure this is all done before the end of the day."

"Girl, it's fine." She waves her hand in front of her face. Dismissing my worry and I instantly relax. She doesn't seem so bad so this could work. "You want some help?"

"Uh, sure."

The both of us work in silence to start off with. I separate the boxes she can help me unpack from the ones she doesn't really need to touch.

Like my underwear or personal items. It takes us pretty much all day and considering classes don't start for me until Monday. I'm free to look around campus and town for a bit. Get my bearings on where everything is so I can make sure I'm not late to any of my classes. I didn't expect to be finishing my sophomore year here ether but luckily my grades were good enough to transfer me too and they surprisingly had an opening.

"So, tell me, Ashley," Mia begins. "Where you from?"

"Ohio originally. You?" I rip open the box beside her.

"Right here in town." She laughs, opening up my box filled with trainers and placing them neatly in what seems to be my side of the wardrobe. "What brought you here in the middle of your sophomore year?"

"My mother," I chuckle. This acting normal bullshit doesn't come easy, and I give myself the ick just trying to come across like that all-American, cute valley girl. "She got into a new relationship. This time, I was lucky enough to benefit from it. The guy she's dating got me in as he's a big donator to the school or some shit." I shrug, placing my underwear in one of the three drawers in the dresser that's available to me. "My mom loves men."

"Yeah, my dad has that problem. Except he does it while still being married to my mom."

"Jesus," I frown.

"Nope. Just an asshole," she chuckles dryly from beside me. We continue to put everything away and spend most of the time talking and getting to know one another. She's not bad for a roommate. At least being in this dorm situation will be a little easier. Mia doesn't seem like the nosey type which makes things a lot better for me. The less she asks, the less I have to lie about why I'm here in the first place.

I was supposed to be here with my best friend Maisy. I always promised we would share a room together when we got accepted into university. When she got accepted into Brown and I to Penn State, we practically lost our minds. But here I am now. Even if it is a little late.

"Oh, cute." Mia sings from beside me. I turn from where I'm bent over a box and see her holding a photo frame in her hand. The photo frame. "This you?"

She smiles broadly as she looks over the image in the black frame. Standing up, I walk to her, taking it out of her and looking down at it. Nobody would be able to tell this is Maisy considering we're both eight here.

"Yeah, me and my best friend." I smile. Both of us with an arm around each other's shoulders, an ice cream in the other.

"So adorable. You guys close?" She asks as she continues hanging my clothes in the wardrobe.

"We were."

"Oh, what happened?" All the air is immediately sucked out of the room. The moment the words sail from my lips and into the atmosphere, it turns thick with awkwardness. My chest and throat strained.

"Just different paths in life. I haven't seen her for about a year now."

Evidently true.

"That sucks."

"It's fine." I cut her off, smiling as I place the frame on the table beside my bed. Facing me as usual so I wake up to her beautiful face like always. Maisy was my whole world and I'm pretty sure I was hers at one point too. Then everything went to shit, and now our friendship is broken.

"What happened? If it's ok for me to ask. If not, I'll shut my mouth."

"She uh," there's no need for me to go in depth about our relationship. She doesn't need to know, and, in all honesty, I don't really need to tell it. "She just gave up. On us. On our friendship." I take a deep breath and continue unpacking some things from the box in front of me. "I guess things just got too much y'know?"

"I get it." She shrugs, completely oblivious.

Which is exactly how I need it.

"How about we go get a fucking drink."

I laugh then. "Mia, it's three in the afternoon."

"Five somewhere, right?" Wiggling her shoulders playfully she sticks out her tongue and all I can do is roll my eyes.

"Fine. Where to?"

"OBK." She winks.

"OBK?" I question. "Is that some kind of bar?"

"It's a frat house just off campus."

Shaking my head softly I decline. "Mia, I'm sorry I'm just really not in the mood for all this. I just spent like two days driving."

Lie.

"All I want to do is rest. I have a lot to catch up on."

Also, lies.

I have nothing to catch up on. I've spent the last three months catching up on the syllabus and taking online classes to make sure I could keep up with all the other students. Not that I really need to. I have a 4.0 GPA. I just wanted to make sure there was nothing to fuck up my time here. Although it will be a short period of time.

"I'm already half way through the semester and-"

"I hate to break it you Ashley, but, as my roommate, it's a standard requirement. I'm sure if you and Maisy were still friends, she would want you to enjoy yourself?"

No.

Maisy would've wanted me with her. But she left before we had the chance to talk.

"Mia, I don't know."

"Look," she removes the stuff in my hands and places it on the bedside table. "How about we go get some Pizza instead, come back here and watch a few movies?"

"That sounds a lot better."

The weekend came and went. I spent most of that in the presence of Mia and the cheer team that she just got accepted for a spot with. Who'd have thought I'd be here, forcing myself to play the part of a highly excitable teenage girl. I didn't want to be out and about with the cheer squad, in fact I hated listening to them drone on about their bullshit problems.

Like their lives are much worse than other people. Most of the time all they need to worry about is what shade of lip gloss they're going to wear. They all come from rich families and don't know what it's like to struggle. Fucking stupid. The only person I've really gelled with is Mia the past few days since I started here.

In school I was never the popular one. I was the one who was profusely teased about the way I looked all through kindergarten, until the day I met Maisy. We became best friends. Maisy was the complete opposite of me in every single way. She was brunette with honey-coloured eyes and had the most beautifully pale skin.

Her naturally pink lips, and heart shaped face were beautiful. She always looked like she was wearing makeup. A natural beauty everyone would say. Then there was me. Chubby Ashley. The one that no one looked twice at, the one who nobody paid attention to. She always had a way with the boys in our high school and always made sure everyone either hated her or wanted to be her.

Everyone except me. I loved her though, more than anything, but I didn't want her life. I was happy being me. Boring old Ashley. Everything changed over the summer I turned seventeen. I came back from science camp a little slimmer, a little blonder and a lot more tanned.

My breasts grewan enormous amount and Maisy hardly recognised me. After that, I started to get noticed more. It was the final year of high school and soon enough I started to become a little more popular. Shortly after Maisy's sophomore year, she changed. She became someone I didn't recognise, and I tried desperately to get through to her and find out what was wrong. But she refused to tell me. Refused to even talk to me.

After a while I barely had any contact with Maisy at all. It's like I didn't exist anymore. Like our friendship meant nothing to her. I called numerous times a day and, in the end, our friendship died. Then, last year I learnt something that I'll never forget until the day I leave this earth. It's what brought me here.

Why I convinced my mother to uproot our life and come here for the man she loves and the new job she wanted. All that made it easier and considering he is a big donator to the science department; I got in nice and easy.

Because I needed to be here. Pushing the thoughts of Maisy and the incident from my mind I knock on the large wooden door in front of me and patiently wait for it to open. The door swings open and I'm greeted with the roundest man I think I've ever laid my eyes on.

Christ almighty.

Joseph Chambers stands in front of me in all of his rotund glory. I've seen pictures of the guy from twenty years ago and I'm being honest, he was a total fox. Think Biden in his teens.

Although the man that's greeting me now is a shadow of his former self. He's wearing a checkered suit with a fucking pocket watch hanging from the waistcoat that was far, far too small for him.

"Ashley Porter?" He questions, raking his eyes over my entire body and the shiver that runs up my spine makes me sick. He takes no shame in lingering on my breasts. Taking in a deep breath as he focusses there for longer than is legally necessary. The guys like fifty.

Gross.

"That's me," I grin. Trying my best to give him the most convincing smile. When really all I want to do is stab him in the eye with the biro I have in my purse.

Sick fuck.

"Please," He motions his arm to the side. "Come in and take a seat at my desk." I walk in and I swear he breathes me in as I walk past.

Typical creep.

I drop my bag beside me and take a seat. It's not like I'm wearing anything remotely slutty today either. The outfit I decided on today is a lot tamer than most girls around here wear. While I'm here I need to stand out but in a very subtle way. I'm wearing dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. Paired with my favourite black and white Chuck Taylors. Nothing crazy. Nothing that would make a man desperately look over me like I was the first woman he's seen in over a thousand years.

"So, tell me Ashley, how was the drive down here?" Walking round the table he squeezes his lardy ass into the swivel chair behind his desk and I do everything I can to suppress the grimace on my face. The way he's looking at me too, is just the same as every other man who wishes they could have me but can't.

"It was fine, thank you. My mother starts her new job next week so she's just relaxing while I get myself ready. Thank you again for accepting me on such short notice. I know my step father really appreciates the kind gesture." He waves his hand in front of me, rejecting the comment entirely.

"It was no problem at all. We had a vacancy last minute and what with your step father being a very good friend of mine, as well as a very big contributor to Brown, it would be rude of me to turn him down." Again, his eyes rake over my body, focussing on my swollen breasts that are propped up in my lace bra. His tongue darts out and wets his bottom lip. God men are sickening.

"Well, I appreciate it all the same," I smile again. "I worked so hard during the summer. Enough to get my brain, mind, and body into shape for the coming year."

"I hear you were a gymnast at your previous school." It's a rhetorical question, one I don't need to sit there and answer, but the way his eyes continue to settle on every single part of my body, it makes me feel vile. Still, I work the hardest I can to try and make sure I give the most confident smile I can muster.

The muscles in my face are strained within an inch of their life as I continue to smile. Do people smile this much in general or am I trying too hard. I wouldn't even know how to act fucking cheery if my life depended on it. I've masked my entire life, but no more than I am right now. Masking has always come easy to me.

Few people would understand what it's like to have to hide who you really are on a regular basis, and how hard and time consuming it can be to act like someone you're not. I'm happier than anyone would be in this moment. I'm right where I need to be, and nothing feels better.

"I can't wait to start assisting the professor of the Criminal Psychology department." I sit back in the seat a little more. And he follows me incredulously. This man really has no shame whatsoever. It's like he doesn't care at all if a young girl catches him staring. I feel uncomfortable and if I could, I'd end this conversation right here and right now. I can't though, this man here is the sole reason I've even had a chance to become a TA.

I put in so much hard work for this spot, managing to push all other contenders away. He was very dubious at first, as most girls that apply are usually doing so to try and get into the professor's slacks, I guess. Once I fed him the lie that I was already in a relationship back home, his dismissal of me during that interview became far lighter than I expected.

"I'll tell you what sweetheart, how about I take you to meet Professor Danvers. You'll be assisting him this year."

"Sounds good." I widen my smile and stand with him as we make our way out of the office and down the hall.