Eleven

eleven

Zhen

I was sure at some point in time, someone would try to explain to my wife that the huodou were hundreds if not thousands of years old and were perfectly capable of feeding themselves. Buying dog food and bones and things of that ilk was completely unnecessary.

When that time came, I’d have to punch the idiot in the mouth. Kris liked feeding them, they liked to be fed, and I was not about to disrupt the system. It was cute to watch, and I was not taking the pleasure away from any of them.

Anyway, Jake had not gone to bed until the wee hours of the morning, so he was still asleep. My poor friend struggled with insomnia, and the new medication didn’t seem to be helping much from what I saw. If he’d finally fallen asleep, I was going to let him sleep.

Kris took the Jeep to run up and get us lunch, fussing about “hopefully they have some dog food or treats at the store, too” even as she left.

Me? I was sitting here trying to think of a battle plan. We wanted to test the bond limits anyway, and I was a lot calmer today than I had been on our last attempt, so it seemed a good idea. I was also waiting to hear back from Joe.

I had a bunch of printer paper, a pen, and a loose idea of what to do on this next hunt. I wanted to get something formal on paper so I could explain it to Kris and get her take on it.

For some reason, Qian sat right in the open with me, lounging on the floor next to the other couch and licking his paw. The huodou looked entirely at his leisure—I didn’t think anything was wrong, per se—but it was odd to see him out like this. They mostly lurked in the shadows. Guo had made the call to bring in more huodou out here, as the threat of EFTs was apparently enough to warrant it.

Qian was a bit smaller than the rest. In other words, he was about the size of a mastiff and Great Dane mix. He wasn’t pure black, either, as a hint of red was in his fur when the light hit it right.

Qian glanced up, head tilting. “Something wrong?”

“You tell me. You’re the one out and about right now.”

“Ahhh.” The intonation had a timbre of laughter to it. “Nothing to worry about. Kris told us not to bathe ourselves in the shadows. The sound without context apparently alarms her.”

I thought about that. How the scrape of a tongue against fur made a very unique sound, and hearing that without seeing someone likely would give you the heebie-jeebies.

“Fair.”

“What are you doing?” Qian tilted his head up to see the paper.

“Trying to figure out a safe spot to put Kris during the fight. I’ve got a tent that’s enchanted with protections, so I can pop her in there, I think? The problem is it gives her a very narrow view of the fight. She’s got this front door here, then the sky view from the top, which is extremely narrow, just these four slits. Window on the backside that’s screened in.” I scratched my head with the end of the pen. “It’s tricky. I don’t know how to plan for the Ravens. But I think putting Kris in here with a sniper’s rifle is probably a really good bet.”

“She’s a good shot,” Qian acknowledged. “Needs some more practice at it, but she hits what she aims at.”

“Yeah, agreed. My only concern is EFTs are awful to fight, they move a lot, and it takes experience to know how to hit something flying. She doesn’t have that experience, so I don’t know if she’ll be able to really hit anything this time. I also don’t know if that last bit matters. I want her safe more than anything else.”

“Guo will not leave her side during the fight,” Qian assured me.

Uhh, while reassuring, this suggested to me that they’d talked about this. “You guys already planned it all out?”

“Not this specific situation. How can we, when you don’t have a plan yet?”

“Well, that’s why I’m asking.”

“In general, I mean. We have a plan if she encounters danger. One of us creates an outer perimeter, then another a secondary perimeter, with one—or two—to engage the threat. Guo is the one designated to stay at her side at all times, with Mùchén as his second. I am generally one that holds the secondary perimeter.”

“Ohhhh, that’s why you’re here.”

“I know she’ll return to this place shortly, so I must hold this perimeter.” Qian paused before adding, “And she’ll be upset if you’re eaten.”

I snorted a laugh. That had been said so deadpan I couldn’t help but be amused. “Glad to know where I am in the pecking order.”

“If you get yourself killed, Demon Slayer, then that’s on your own head.”

I laughed some more. “Fair enough. I’ll probably have done something and therefore deserve it anyway. Okay, going back to the tent. If Guo is going to stay with her at all times, then I think the tent will hamper him, too.”

“But this tent is enchanted?”

“Yeah. Specifically, against crawlers—literally anything that likes to burrow and pop out of the ground—and anything that flies. Once assembled, it creates a barrier against them. She can still fire through the material, though, and it won’t collapse the barrier. We call it the Golden Cage.”

“Hmm, then I say, use it. Guo won’t be fighting unless something comes at her directly, and a tent won’t stop him.”

I didn’t imagine much could, honestly.

The front door rattled before Kris strolled in with two bags in her hands. One of them smelled amazing, like caramelized onions, meat, and cheese. Yes, please.

“Delivery for one starving husband,” Kris deadpanned while handing it over. “Also, my bond was completely fine. You?”

“Perfectly fine.” Which was very much a relief. It also gave us some intel to work with. “I think you and Grandma are onto something about the stress levels. If we’re both in a good mood, it’s clearly not an issue.”

“Yeah. Which is great to know, but we can’t walk around being Zen all the time. Life doesn’t work that way.”

I moved to the kitchen table with the food, taking it out of containers and setting it so we could eat. Kris put the second bag on the table and started unwrapping all of these dog bones that had some kind of brown filling in them.

Qian was right at her side, nosing at it, tail wagging much like a dog’s. “Is that peanut butter?”

“I found some just for you, buddy.” She handed him a bone. “Here, I’m going to set the bones in a shadow so everyone else can get one, too.”

Qian’s mouth was full, so he only nodded, making happy growly sounds, then darted into the shadow of the couch before disappearing.

Kris placed the remaining bones onto the couch shadow, then pulled a chair back, joining me at the table. “Jake still asleep?”

“Dead to the world. I’m going to let him sleep as long as he needs.”

“Insomnia is the absolute worst.”

“Preach. I feel sorry for everyone who suffers from it.” I bit into my patty melt and moaned. Oh my god, so tasty. Why did mom and pop restaurants always have the best food? It was like a universal law.

For a moment, there was only the sound of munching, both of us enjoying our food very much. I was a talker—anyone who knew me would agree with that statement—but truth told I liked moments like this, too. Where I could sit in silence with Kris and be perfectly content with the world.

I looked at her, this beautiful woman with a spine of steel, and gave a sappy sigh. “You’re so easy to be with.”

She sipped her soda, those grey eyes warm as she looked back at me. “ Xiéxié, zhàng fu .”

Then her eyes narrowed on my face. “Wait, that wasn’t a preface to something insane, right?”

She did know me well. “No, it’s just ’cause you’re pretty.”

“Oh, phew. I never know with you. Ah, right, I forgot to tell you. They’re holding a little farmers’ market-slash-art fair of some sort in the green space next to the depot. I thought about hitting it and maybe getting some souvenirs.”

I hadn’t taken her on a proper date in a while because of all the nonsense going down, so this sounded like a great idea to me. Plus, I had nothing better to do until I got more intel. Hard to plan anything solid right now, being low on facts.

“Sure. We’ll leave a note for Jake.”

We finished up lunch, and I wrote a note for Jake, which I put on the fridge. Kris had bought him a Caesar turkey wrap thingy to eat if he woke up hungry, which, knowing Jake, he would. Man came out of a deep sleep like a bear exiting hibernation.

Then we hopped back into the Jeep and returned to town. Village. Whatever you wanted to call this little stop in the middle of the road.

There was indeed a thingy going on near the old train depot. We found parking along the road, which was good, because for once this place was packed. Apparently, people came in from nearby as well to attend the place. Made me think that the farmers’ market was a regular affair.

I slid my hand into Kris’s as we walked and got a smile in return, putting a happy spark in my chest. I liked strolling with her, hand in hand like this. We didn’t do it often enough, in my opinion. It was why I was very glad she’d suggested this.

Kris’s ambiguity on what this event was made sense once I laid eyes on it. There were stands full of vegetables and fruits, some with jams, a few others with plants of various types as well. But that was like the opening of it. Once you got past those front vendors, there were multiple rows of other tables, and the variety of goods expanded from there.

We wandered down the row, stopping every now and again if something caught our eye. I mean, we had to be careful on what we bought because we had to either fly home with it or ship it somehow so that left out the really breakable stuff.

“Oooh, those look pretty.” Kris abruptly towed me toward the right.

I mentally got my wallet out. I knew that tone. Things were about to be purchased.

What she pulled me to was a stand full of quilts. Some of them were quite pretty, even I could see that.

There were two ladies behind the table, one of them with grey hair up in a bun, the other young enough to be her granddaughter. I saw the resemblance, too, in those heart-shaped faces. I also spotted two signs on the table— APPALACHIAN QUILTERS’ GUILD and WOMEN AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Huh. I sensed a charity organization at work.

“Hello,” the teenager greeted us, popping out of her chair. “These are all handmade quilts. The local quilting guild makes them and donates them to us, with all proceeds going to help women’s shelters, or those who are victims of domestic violence.”

“Good cause,” I said. “Nothing I hate more than spouses abusing each other. And I can tell my wife’s already in love with something.”

Kris shot me a grin, her hands still full of the quilt she had. “I am. It’s my favorite colors.”

I saw lots of blues, greens, and whites, so yeah, that followed.

Kris unfolded more of it so I could see it, and it wasn’t a flowery pattern like I’d half expected. Instead, it was blocks of squares and rectangles, with a circular pattern sewn into the fabric in a very understated way. It looked masculine without trying to be.

“Bedroom?” Kris suggested with a little wiggle of the quilt.

“I do really like it,” I admitted. “And I know you’ve been trying to find stuff for the house.”

“Then let’s at least get this one.”

I glanced at the price tag and winced, but yeah, five hundred dollars sounded about right. That likely only covered the materials involved. My mom sewed, and Grandma used to before her eyesight went bad, so I knew how much this could cost. The quilting guild was being super generous to charge this low, really.

Now, I suspected not a lot of people in this area had five hundred dollars to burn, so I felt compelled to buy at least one more. And I knew my grandmother would love one of these, so… “Wifey, let’s get the purple one, too. For Grandma.”

She turned to look at where I pointed and immediately nodded. “Oh, for sure, she’ll love that.”

The ladies were delighted to make two sales, immediately wrapping them up and putting them into cloth bags for us.

I paid out, then we each took a bag and kept wandering. Honestly, I didn’t see anything else I really liked, so what we ended up doing was getting funnel cakes and a snow cone. Priorities, man. I needed my calories.

Anyway, we had fun on our mini date and returned after a few hours.

Only to be greeted by four very anxious huodou with bones at their feet, puppy eyes at full max.

I eyed this tableau with a certain amount of distrust. By that I meant, there was no trusting those expressions. I got out of the Jeep knowing there was going to be some high-speed manipulation incoming any second.

Kris popped out, her face full of concern, and she rounded the front of the Jeep quickly. “Guys, what’s wrong?”

“Empty,” Jun Hie whined at her.

“Empty? You mean the bones?”

Mùchén gave a sad whine as well. “More?”

Kris put her hands on her hips, exasperated. “Don’t tell me you’re already addicted to peanut butter.”

Apparently, it hadn’t taken much.

Even Guo was in line with the rest, nudging the bone with his nose before looking up at her hopefully. “More?”

“Oh my god. Guys. Those bones were supposed to be a treat, not a staple part of your diet. I don’t even have more peanut butter to fill them with.”

Good thing, too. No reason to solidify the addiction on the first day, after all.

“You’re not even hungry. You don’t actually need more, you just want more,” Kris said firmly.

Guo cranked the puppy eyes up another five notches. “Look into your soul, you know the truth.”

Kris jerked a thumb toward her chest. “This one’s dead.”

Guo didn’t miss a beat. “Look into my eyes.”

“They’re gold, what does that mean?”

“That he’s full of shit,” I drawled. “Do not give in to him, they do not need more.”

A chorus of whines. It was like a Greek tragedy or something. Over peanut butter, of all things.

Kris sighed and held out her hand. “Give me the keys. I’m apparently going back to the store.”

“You’re the reason why they’re spoiled.” I handed the keys over because I was not arguing. The huodou were strictly under her purview, not mine.

Kris shrugged, expression rueful, before climbing back into the Jeep.

Well, at least she knew she spoiled them rotten. First step was acknowledging the problem, right?

My real question, though, was how much peanut butter did you need to feed a huodou before he became foundered on it?