7. Tommy

7

TOMMY

The loud music and lively chatter of the Mexican restaurant engulfed us the moment we stepped inside.

Nitro seemed right at home, navigating through the crowded tables with confidence.

But for me, the chaos was a bit too much to handle.

I'd been looking forward to this dinner at Nitro's favorite spot, eager to try the famous guacamole he often raved about.

However, the reality of the busy place hit me like a wave.

It occurred to me that since being freed from Hicks’ control, I’d never been in such a public, crowded space.

Most of the time, I was either with Nitro, my brother, or in an intimate setting with my new friends.

Breathe, I reminded myself. I focused on Nitro’s leather jacket and dark hair, but it wasn’t working.

All of a sudden, it became unbearably hot in there.

I swallowed hard, my eyes darting around in an attempt to keep up with Nitro’s pace.

The smell of sizzling fajitas and the clinking of margarita glasses created a sensory overload.

Panic began to rise inside me, and I tightened my grip on the strap of my bag.

"Hey, Tommy, you okay?" Nitro's deep voice reached me over the din, and I snapped my attention back to him.

He wore a concerned expression and furrowed his brows.

"Yeah, just... it's a bit crowded," I admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed by my unease.

Nitro's eyes softened, and he offered a reassuring smile.

"No worries. We can find a quieter spot if you want, unless you want to eat elsewhere?” Nitro asked.

“Here is fine,” I insisted.

The last thing I wanted was to ruin our first official date. Leaving even before we had a bite to eat felt like a cowardly act.

Eventually, I had to learn to handle crowds.

“Alright, but tell me if it becomes too much,” Nitro told me.

I nodded, grateful Nitro was so understanding. Nitro guided us toward a more secluded corner.

As we settled into our seats, the noise and busyness of the restaurant became more manageable.

Nitro flagged down a waiter, ordered our food, and asked me how my day was.

I liked how he easily struck up a casual conversation, knowing it would help calm my nerves.

Honestly, I still wasn’t sure I would ever get used to crowded spaces, but Nitro’s presence and the promise of delicious food kept me grounded.

As I finally tasted the delicious guacamole and fish tacos while we swapped stories, I found myself gradually relaxing.

“Sorry I took you here,” Nitro finally said. “I didn’t consider how you would feel about crowds.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” I said. “You were right. The food here is amazing.”

“Tommy, you were on the verge of a panic attack earlier,” Nitro reminded me.

“It’s true all the noise and people were too much for me, but I have to get used to this eventually,” I told him. “I mean, I don’t want people thinking you have a freak for a mate.”

I said those last words in a terrified whisper, but with our shifter hearing, Nitro could hear them just fine.

Nitro frowned, reaching for my hand across the table.

“Don’t ever let me hear you say that word again. You’re not a freak, Tommy. You’re far from it,” Nitro said.

I gently untangled my fingers from his and laughed harshly.

“I’m sure none of your dates reacted the way I did earlier,” I said.

“Tommy, you’re a survivor. Be proud of that. Not many people could endure what you did and go on living,” Nitro said, taking my hands again.

He looked deep into my eyes, and for a second there, I thought he could see everything.

All my flaws and uncertainties. The darkness that nestled in me, and would stay with me my entire life.

I felt like crying, which wasn’t what I wanted.

Bawling my eyes out while we were on our date would make things worse, but Nitro didn’t realize how much his heartfelt words meant to me.

Nitro released my hands, only to grab a napkin. He leaned over the table, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Why is it you always know the right words to say?” I asked him.

Nitro smiled at that. I snatched a few more tissues and cleaned my face up.

“Do over?” I asked him.

“Of course. Can I tell you a secret, Tommy?” Nitro asked.

“Sure,” I answered.

“I was nervous about tonight as well,” Nitro admitted.

That confession took me by complete surprise because Nitro always seemed confident. He always knew what he was doing.

“Really? Or are you just telling me that to make me feel better?” I asked.

“Really,” Nitro confirmed. “The last time I went out on a real date was years ago, when I was with Gin.”

I was betting Gin didn’t have a near panic attack when he and Nitro went out.

Gin was probably perfect, good-looking, and had his act together.

“Gin was a looker, sure, but he’s empty and toxic inside,” Nitro said, looking distracted.

I flushed, not realizing I uttered my thoughts out loud.

“I shouldn’t have brought him up,” Nitro said, finally looking at me. “Besides, I prefer you any day. If I met you first, we’d probably be mated and have kids by now.”

I sucked in a breath. Firstly, that wouldn’t be possible, considering I was still Hicks’ captive during that period.

Nitro realized it too because he furrowed his brows and apologized. Secondly, the mention of having kids made my heart race.

“Do you…want kids?” I finally asked.

“My tongue slipped. It’s too early to be thinking about all that, of course,” Nitro said quickly. “Man, I’m really screwing this date up, aren’t I?”

I shook my head. For a moment, I debated telling Nitro I wouldn’t be able to give him kids.

Then I remembered Nitro also refrained from telling me what eventually happened with Gin and his former best friend.

Both of us had our share of secrets. Now wasn’t the right time to divulge all of them.

“Want to share a dessert?” I finally managed to ask.

Nitro perked up at that. He seemed relieved I changed the topic. “We should probably get two or three,” Nitro said.

Thank God, bear shifters loved sweet things.

Despite my evening with Nitro not unfolding as smoothly as I had anticipated, I was relieved that he didn't simply walk me back to my apartment and wish me good night.

True to his word, Nitro was committed to staying over.

He really was keeping his promise of staying over. Did that make me weak? Unable to stay alone in my own apartment?

What happened to the brand new and independent Tommy? In the end, was I relying on Nitro too much?

And then there was that whole near panic attack saga at the restaurant. Today was definitely not one of my best days.

To add to the charm, Nitro got to witness a side of me that I'm still in the process of fixing.

Nitro saw the unfiltered, unedited version of me and I wasn’t sure how I feel about it.

"Everyone's a work in progress, even me," Nitro remarked casually as we strolled towards my unit.

"I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" I asked.

Nitro simply nodded.

"I should learn to keep these thoughts to myself," I mumbled, fishing out my keys and unlocking the door.

Nitro pressed a hand to my shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed. My heart raced a little faster, as he walked in ahead of me.

I couldn't help but wonder if he had detected something unusual in my apartment.

"Nitro?" I questioned uncertainly.

"Come on in," Nitro eventually responded after giving my place a quick, cursory glance.

"What is it?" I asked, stepping inside and flicking on the lights.

"You left one of your windows open. Didn't mean to worry you," he said, his tone light and tinged with humor. "What I thought I heard earlier was just the wind."

His words provided reassurance, yet I couldn't shake the need to confirm.

I walked over to the mentioned window, furrowing my brows as I pondered whether I had indeed forgotten to close it.

I couldn't recall. Besides, I lived on the seventh floor.

That meant that the likelihood of anyone or anything slipping in through the window was next to impossible.

Unless it was something supernatural, I reminded myself. I quickly dismissed those thoughts.

It was best not to let my imagination get the better of me. Focus on the present, on Nitro, I reminded myself.

I glanced over at Nitro, who was casually settling into the sofa.

"Nitro, want something to drink?" I asked.

He grinned, "Beer if you've got some."

"Sure thing," I said, getting up and making my way to the kitchen.

I pulled two cold beers from the fridge and headed back to the living room.

Handing Nitro a beer, I took a seat beside him on the sofa. Nitro took a sip, and I did the same.

Ah, this felt so much better than the crowded restaurant.

"What do you want to watch?" Nitro asked, leaning back against the cushions.

I glanced at the collection of movies and shows I'd been slowly catching up on.

"How about a romantic comedy? Something light to take our minds off the disastrous date we had."

Nitro chuckled, "Sounds perfect and the date wasn’t a disaster.”

Of course, Nitro would say that to make me feel better.

As the movie started, Nitro casually slid his arm over my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile, leaning into him.

The warmth of his body next to mine was comforting. I took in the moment, enjoying every second spent with Nitro.

I let my mind drift. The movie turned out to be really light and enjoyable.

Eventually the credits rolled, signaling the end of the movie. I felt a slight drowsiness settle in as Nitro stretched beside me.

Unexpectedly, he leaned over and planted a quick kiss on my mouth. Too stunned to kiss him back, I only stared at him.

"That was fun," he remarked. "Tomorrow night, I'll bring over some snacks."

The mention of tomorrow night jolted me awake a little.

Nitro had been keeping his promise, volunteering to stay the night over so I could get some sleep.

Guilt tugged at me for taking up so much of his time.

“Is this really okay?” I found myself asking.

"Don't worry about it, Tommy. Do whatever you usually do to wind down before bed," Nitro said, as if he completely understood my concerns.

I decided to take a shower. After excusing myself, I headed to the bathroom.

As the warm water cascaded over me, I fantasised about inviting Nitro in here. I blushed at the bold idea and quickly finished up.

As I returned to the living room, I noticed Nitro on the phone, his expression tense.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, Spike," he said in a tight voice before ending the call.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, concern furrowing my brows as I joined Nitro on the sofa.

Nitro ran a frustrated hand over his hair.

"It's Spike. I don't know what's going on with him these days. First, he messed up at a job and pissed off a long-time client of the MC. Then today, I found out he issued a challenge to Venom."

I absorbed his words slowly, realizing that, during our date, Nitro had mentioned having a rough day, but our conversation had centered around my own issues.

He’d always been thoughtful that way.

"He's your best friend. Go talk to him, get him to open up," I suggested.

Nitro, seemingly lost in his thoughts, reached for my hand without thinking and started rubbing soothing circles over it.

I didn't stop him; in fact, I found the gesture fascinating. Did touching me have a calming effect on him?

If so, maybe I should encourage it more.

"Stop thinking about silly things," I silently scolded myself.

Nitro needed me now.

"And did you say he was going to fight Venom?" I asked, my mind struggling to grasp the information.

I had never personally met Nitro’s lead alpha; I'd only seen him from afar, and he cut a pretty intimidating figure.

Some paranormals in town even referred to him as the king of monsters.

I liked Spike, even considered him as one of my friends. Was he in deep trouble?