11. Tommy

11

TOMMY

Hearing the doorbell, I interrupted my conversation with Dylan.

"Nitro's here. I'll tell you how today went later," I informed him.

"You better," came Dylan's reply through the phone.

Ending the call, I took a moment to glance at myself in the mirror, making sure I looked decent for our date.

Nitro had hinted at a hike, so I had opted for comfortable exercise clothes—jogging pants, sneakers, and a windbreaker.

As an extra touch, I had prepared a couple of sandwiches, in case we both got hungry.

Finally, I headed to the door and opened it. Nitro stood there, his presence a welcome distraction.

“Hey," Nitro greeted me with a smile, but I couldn't ignore the exhaustion etched in the tired lines around his eyes.

He reassured me over the phone that Spike was okay, but it was evident that looking after his best friend had taken a toll on him.

Nitro leaned over and kissed me softly on the mouth.

I kissed him back, eager for the taste of him. His familiar scent wrapped around me like an embrace.

Nitro had only left me a few hours ago. It was crazy how much I already missed him.

"You ready?" Nitro asked.

"We can do this another time, you know. You look exhausted," I said, my hand cupping his unshaven cheek as I gazed into his eyes.

Nitro surprised me by resting his hand over mine and shaking his head.

“A dose of Tommy is exactly what I need right now,” Nitro said.

"Okay," I replied. "One moment.”

I quickly grabbed my small backpack and the bag containing our sandwiches as Nitro waited by the door.

"What do you have there?" he asked curiously as we left my apartment building.

"Some sandwiches, in case we get hungry," I explained, deciding to keep the food in my bag for convenience.

Nitro grinned in approval.

"Great idea,” he said.

As we strolled down the street, a sudden instinct prompted me to glance back at my apartment building.

For some reason, the image of the pale face I had glimpsed in my window came rushing back.

I scanned the windows, particularly my unit's.

Only something supernatural could climb that high, I reasoned, but what I had seen in the dead of the night was likely just a figment of my imagination.

"Tommy, everything alright?" Nitro called, already mounting his Harley.

I hopped on behind him, wrapping my arms securely around his waist.

"Absolutely," I assured him, pushing the unnerving thoughts to the back of my mind.

Today was about us and I intended to make the most of it.

It didn't take us long to reach our destination. Nitro parked his motorcycle in the MC compound parking lot.

From there, we set off toward the Moon Burrow Woods, nestled conveniently behind the compound.

"Take it easy on me," I joked, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness. "The last time I hiked was when Marc and I were kids."

"Don't worry," Nitro assured me with a grin. "I picked an easy trail."

His words brought a sense of reassurance. I was grateful that Nitro considered my hiking abilities—or lack thereof.

As we entered the woods, I marveled at the natural beauty of the surroundings.

The scent of pine filled the air, and the sunlight filtered through the trees.

This was the perfect escape, a brief reprieve from our problems.

My nerves began to get the better of me in the middle of our walk. Old fears, remnants of the trauma inflicted by Hicks, assailed me.

After he broke my arm, I struggled to connect with my animal half.

While my inner magpie still made occasional appearances to voice his opinions, he mostly hid inside me.

“Let’s take a break soon,” Nitro suggested. I wondered if he noticed my growing unease.

He gently guided me to a special section of the woods—a small hill with a view of the surrounding forest.

The change in scenery offered a welcome distraction, easing some of the anxiety gnawing at me.

As we reached the hill, Nitro gestured for us to sit on a nearby fallen log.

We ate our sandwiches while taking in the breathtaking view.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Nitro remarked.

"It is," I agreed.

"After all that bullshit with Spike, my inner grizzly is ready to tear out of my skin," he admitted.

Despite the calm, Nitro's words carried an undercurrent of tension.

"Will you tell me what happened?" I asked, sensing that there was more to the story.

As Nitro began recounting Spike's fight, he reached for my fingers, gently rubbing them.

"Are you sure you don't need to be with him?" I asked.

Nitro scoffed, dismissing the idea.

"He'd hate that. I'm not his boyfriend or his nurse either. Besides, he sort of encouraged me to spend time with you,” Nitro said.

"How did that happen?" I asked.

"Spike reminded me not to let you slip past my fingers," Nitro said, looking right at me.

I blushed, feeling warm all over. Nitro leaned in close, pressing his lips to mine.

The kiss was rough and hungry, exactly how I wanted it.

"I don't want you to slip from me either," I confessed after Nitro pulled away, the words sounding a bit corny even to my own ears.

However, Nitro didn't seem to mind. In fact, a smug grin spread across his face.

With a satisfied air, Nitro rose to his feet and stretched.

"What do you say we lose ourselves in our other skin?" he suggested.

I awkwardly stood up, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervousness. Nitro gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm here, Tommy. We'll take things slow," he promised, and I found comfort in those words.

With Nitro next to me, I felt a surge of courage.

Today, I intended to rediscover a part of myself which I had buried a long time ago.

I watched in appreciation as Nitro effortlessly stripped down. It was evident that he took good care of his body.

Without further ado, Nitro initiated the transformation, and in a matter of minutes, the man standing before me was replaced by a powerful grizzly bear.

Taking a deep breath, I felt a mixture of nerves and excitement as I began to undress.

My gaze remained fixed on Nitro, who gave me a reassuring look.

The anticipation built within me as I reached for my animal half, hoping to connect with the magpie within.

A second passed, then five, but nothing happened. Panic began to bubble inside me. Then an unsettling realization set in.

"Why isn't it working?" I muttered.

I knew why I couldn't reach my animal half.

A flashback of that horrible day, the 'shooting accident' as Hicks had called it, flooded back.

The shock that surged through my body when Hicks' bullet struck my left wing.

The paralyzing fear that gripped me as I began to fall, my wings failing me when I needed them the most.

I felt a knot tighten in my stomach.

Nitro walked up to me, nudging his furry shoulder against my legs, offering me reassurance.

Without thinking, I fell to my knees and hugged him, gripping handfuls of his fur.

He felt like a giant teddy bear—comforting and solid.

Tears welled up in my eyes, unbidden, as a wave of frustration and helplessness washed over me.

Was I going to have to settle for living the rest of my life like this—trapped in my human form, unable to fully embrace the magpie within me?

Nitro didn't move. He remained a steadfast presence, and I couldn't help but feel grateful for that.

His unspoken message echoed in the stillness: "I'm here, I'll always be here for you."

Guilt struck me like a wave. I couldn't continue down this path of self-pity.

Feeling sorry for myself wouldn't alter the reality I faced.

With a determined breath, I delved deep within, confronting the core of my being.

As I connected with my animal half, I stared into its obsidian eyes, a reflection of my own.

A flood of thoughts raced through my mind. All this time you were there for me, protecting me when I couldn't protect myself, I pondered.

Why did you desert me all of a sudden after Hicks shot us?

I didn't anticipate an answer, but unexpectedly, a response emerged.

It was you who got scared, Tommy. You lost the will to fight and keep on living.

The revelation struck me like a lightning bolt, a harsh truth that I couldn't easily dismiss.

I didn't know how long Nitro and I stayed like that. Hours, maybe. Finally, I released him.

"I'm ready to try again," I whispered.

Nitro backed away, and this time, when I reached for my other half, it was much easier.

The change was sluggish and painful, but it was happening. I felt my body shrink in size.

Feathers covered my arms and shoulders. A beak emerged.

Bones broke and organs rearranged themselves until I was back in my winged form.

The transformation was a mixture of agony and triumph.

As I stood there in my magpie form, I could feel a newfound sense of strength, the bond with my animal half rekindled.

I spread my wings and took flight. Amazement filled me as I climbed higher and higher until I could see the tops of the trees.

Nitro looked like a small dot down below, but his encouraging roar echoed through the air.

I soared, reveling in the sensation of the wind rushing through my feathers.

A croak came from my left, and I spotted one of the raven shifters flying past me.

Feeling lighter than I'd ever been before, I circled back to Nitro, to my patient mate.

He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. That had to count for something, didn't it?

As I descended to the ground, landing gracefully beside Nitro, a sense of accomplishment and gratitude washed over me.

I changed back to my human form and ran up to Nitro, pulling him into a tight hug.

In moments, he transformed into his human self, wrapping his solid and warm arms around my trembling body.

"I knew you could do it, Tommy," he murmured, gently stroking my back. "I never doubted you."

"I thought I'd be broken forever," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "And if that was the case, I'd never be a suitable mate for you."

"I'm not perfect either, Tommy," Nitro said.

Then he leaned in and kissed me, rough and deep.

In that moment, as our lips met, I knew I wanted him more than I ever wanted anyone else.

I responded fiercely, gripping his shoulders. Nitro took that as permission to explore the rest of my body.

His touch was possessive and addictive all at once. I could get used to this, I thought.

Certainty filled me.

Nitro was the first person I wanted to see when I woke up in the morning the last person I saw before going to sleep at night.

“Mine,” he growled out after releasing my mouth.

Hearing that word sent a shiver of anticipation down my spine.

“Yours,” I whispered back. “Always.”

I didn’t know how we ended up tangled in each other on the forest floor and I didn’t care.

All logical thought evaporated from my mind as Nitro put his mouth and hands to good use.

I lay on my back while he straddled me, spoiling me with kisses.

“I want,” I said, panting as he sucked on the hollow of my throat.

“What do you want, Tommy?” Nitro asked, pausing from his task.

My heart beat in trepidation and excitement. Was I being too forward? Nitro wanted to wait.

He didn’t mind taking the time to do things properly.

I was the impatient one, but I took Dylan’s advice to heart. I told Nitro exactly what I needed.

“You in me,” I whispered. “Right here, right now.”