34. Alyssa

To Corbin, the man who was supposed to love and protect me when I was at my most vulnerable, you failed. I know you think your excuse of Helen hiring a hitman is enough to assuage your guilt for my years of pain, but it isn't, and I'll tell you why.

I was a child who lost her foundation, her peace, and her safety. Had it not been for my brothers, I have no idea where I would be. While you were living your own reality, this was mine.

I was the girl whose brothers took her to the father-daughter breakfast because you had to take your stepdaughter, or your wife would raise hell. It was my brothers who tucked me in at night while we listened to my mother cry in the room next door.

From the age of eight to twelve, one or more of my brothers had to act like sentinels while I spent weekends in your home just so I could spend some time with you. Once they were gone, you weren't allowed to spend any time with me because Helen wanted you to spend time with her daughter.

You couldn't be at my sweet sixteen, my coming out ball, or my graduation because Mitzie needed you to fill in for all those occasions. You missed most, if not all, of the most important things in my life so you could play father to someone else's child while I endured ridicule and laughter from my peers and Mitzie's, who all knew what was going on.

You allowed that monster to torment me from the age of twelve to eighteen, and I bore it all in silence, not because I was weak or even scared. But because I was planning your demise with every breath I took.

The divorce, the hitman, and everything mentioned above are your fault and will always be your fault because you chose to have an affair and cheat on your wife and kids. Everything that came after that is on you.

Thanks for looking out for me and trying to protect me, as you see it, but this all began with you and your selfishness. I hope that two minutes of Helen's (what I can only surmise is low-grade pussy) was worth it.

The last time we spoke, I didn't yet know about Helen's threats against Mom and me, but everything I said then still stands. You failed, and there is no going back.

I can never regain the years and experiences I lost because you were a selfish prick. I don't care what you thought you were doing or how you feel; I don't give a shit. I'm the child who was robbed of a childhood. I will never forgive you. You had no right.

Because of you, I had to relearn how to trust after years of living in the hell that you made. Because of you, my whole life has been tainted because there are no do-overs for the innocence you destroyed.

I didn't know what I was going to say to you after I got over my mad, but as I sit here across from the man I married, a man I barely know, the thought of screwing someone else, of betraying him, makes me feel ill.

You knew Mom since you were both young; you were supposed to love her. How could you do it? What evil possessed you in that moment, when you unzipped your trousers, pulled down the zipper, did you remove your clothes?

As these things were happening, why was there no point in time that the love you were supposed to feel make you stop? I was your little girl, your little princess, but you didn't care enough about me or the sons you were supposed to love, the woman you were supposed to cherish, to stop.

Do not contact me. If I want to see you or have any kind of relationship with you, I will be the one to reach out. You may tell Mom whatever you choose to, you will know better than me where her mind is at and if it's strong enough for her to deal with me going no contact with you.

As for my relationship with her, I will handle that separately, you don't need to speak on my behalf where that is concerned. If you still don't understand, your sorry is not enough. Sorry does not erase the years of hurt and pain.

Sorry, will not return the years and moments I have lost, the moments you squandered for a few moments of release.

You…. failed. Goodbye!

"Hey-hey-hey, what's the matter? Fuck!" I didn't realize that I was crying and shaking until Garrett came around the table where we had been sitting enjoying the cool ocean breeze after lunch and lifted me onto his lap.

"What happened? Did someone say something to you?" I moved the phone where I had written the letter over to him, and he picked it up and read. Once he was done, he put the phone back on the table and wrapped his arms around me.

I felt safe, protected, and, dare I say, loved. All those emotions hit me like a brick to the solar plexus and I just released it all in a flood of tears. I cried out the pain and the hurt and the agony.

I let it all flow out of me with each tear that fell while my husband held me and rocked back and forth the way you would a child. There was a lump in my chest and a hole in my heart. The hole that has been there since the night a little girl watched her world crumble.

"What do you want to do?"

"What do you mean?" He'd sat there silently for the last ten minutes or so while I cried myself dry.

"About your father, what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, I don't understand."

"Okay!"

I sat up to look at him. His face looked kind of off to me, and his eyes were cold. Oh, his jaw, he was clenching his teeth. I cupped his cheek with my hand and studied his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean what's wrong? My wife just cried her heart out on my chest; somebody's got to pay."

"Calm down there, Timur Tamerlane, sheesh how come I didn't notice this about you."

"Notice what?"

"Your penchant for violence. I like it. Let's do some shit, but not this time. I know my Dad. Once he reads this, he's going to be bedridden for a few days. Trust me, a bullet is too easy, but thanks, though."

My phone alerted me with a text. "Ooh, my girl Jackie." I tried getting off his lap because he doesn't need to see my work in action, just in case I have to come at him at some point. "Where are you going? Open it."

I pouted, but he wasn't even paying attention the bastard; his eyes were too focused on my phone. I opened the message, and a video was attached. "I like videos." I sat up, all grief forgotten, at least for now, and opened it.

I'd been up for a while this morning before waking him up, and it looked like my hard work had paid off. The hardest part was coming up with that ditty and then finding the right voice to go with it because I didn't want Helen to know that it was me just yet.

I watched the whole thing up until she was carted off in an ambulance, then read the message beneath. "She's been admitted to hospital in very serious condition. The car was crushed as of two hours ago. Will update once the second phase is completed."

"What's the second phase?" I almost forgot nosy Nellie was there.

"That's where she gets reintroduced to all those friends she made at my mother's expense as what she really is; trash."

"I don't follow."

"You'll see!"

"By the way, our first interview has been set for two days away."

"Great." I was a bit preoccupied while he spoke because my mind was already moving on to the next thing. I'm not a crazy person who spends every waking hour plotting, but I'd decided that just as I didn't want to spend my entire honeymoon dealing with my enemies, I didn't want to spend the start of our life together doing it either.

Which meant I had to take care of everything in the next week and a half so I could just sit back and watch the fallout. Either later at night or early in the morning is when I do my thing; that way, I'm not taking any time away from my new husband.

He was playing in my hair, something I didn't know I liked, and it made me feel weird, in a good way. I don't know why that particular action made me realize that he's always hyper-focused on me and that he's always right there, ready and willing to do whatever I need.

There was a fluttering around my heart followed by a warmth that seemed to permeate my entire being, and it hit me like a cyclone. Sexual attraction and compatibility are things I can deal with. But I was in no way ready for what I suspected this was.

I gave him the stink eye before hauling off and slugging him. "Ouch, what the hell, Lyssa, what was that for?" Now he's calling me by a cute name, the bastard. He rubbed his chest and looked at me as if waiting for an explanation.

"Bastard! You did this on purpose."

"Did what exactly?"

"You know what you did. Why do you have to be so nice to me? I know what you're up to, you jerk." Even as I said these words, I knew I sounded crazy, I felt crazy as shit too.

I tried getting off his lap, but he held me hostage. "Stay where you are and tell me what bee got under your crazy bonnet."

"Don't you call me crazy, you snake. Ooh, I'm so mad I could spit."

"Alyssa, baby, what's the matter?" I folded my arms and turned my nose up with a pout. I will not be moved by his sugar-sweet bullshit. I have cultivated my persona since I was nine years old, and there is no way I am going to let some newcomer upstart change my shit.

He rocked his thighs, "Tell me. Whatever it is, I'll take care of it." My nose went higher in the air, and he sighed, which only pissed me off.

"If I'm annoying you, you can always just take your ass off somewhere else."

Look, I know most people, especially those closest to me, have always thought that I was crazy, but I'm not. At least, I didn't use to be. But right this second, I feel as if I am losing my damn mind. I wanted to hit something and scream because I did not want to feel these things.

How the hell had he snuck under my guard without my noticing? Was it because I didn't know what signs to look for? I tried to remember anything he had done that I didn't like to use against him and this stupid growing feeling, but from beginning to end, there was nothing.

"Aha, you're too perfect, you bastard. What deep, dark secrets are you hiding?" He rolled his damn eyes at me and came close to losing his life.

"What, pray tell, are you on about now?"

"On about? On about? I'll tell you what I'm on about, sneaky mcsneaky." Think fast, Alyssa, before he makes you look crazy. There has to be something I can throw out at him to make my point, which is that I am right.

‘On second thought, I don't have to tell you." I went back to my pout because that's all I had. He had the nerve to turn my face toward him and look into my eyes like he knew me well enough to read them. Ooh, that pissed me off.

GARRETT

Ah, I get it. It must be that time of the month. I'll have to get her that chocolate she likes and hope to hell I find the ice cream that is her favorite flavor and flowers, I can't forget the flowers. I had this shit practically memorized, but for the life of me couldn't remember all of it now.

I should've taken notes. You see, her brothers and their wives had tried to warn me about certain things to look for in order to exist in this one's orbit. I'd laughed it off at the time, but none of them had joined in my laughter, and though I knew that they knew her best, I thought they were entirely full of shit. Now I'm not so sure.

She was sitting on my lap, having one of her fits, but at least it was better than her crying and shaking. I could go the rest of my life without having that experience again.

I'm not in the habit of feeling helpless, but since meeting her, I've felt that way a time or two and I can't say that I'm a fan. She sat there stewing with her nose in the air and giving me dirty looks every few seconds.

I didn't bother asking her what the hell was wrong again because I knew she would tell me when she was ready. I gazed off into the distance and waited her out.

She'd already dragged me all over the place to visit the filming sites for that stupid movie series, bought half the memorabilia they had on offer, and clapped like a child in excitement at every new discovery.

I think if she could live in the Hobbit house, she would, so now I'm on the hunt for something similar. So far, middle earth seems more like Britain than this place, but I wasn't going to tell her that shit because she's fanatic.

"Asshole jerk." Her outburst brought me back to the present.

"What is it that I have done now?" I kept my voice soft and even.

"You made me fall in love with you."

Her words went through me like something slow and sweet, and I felt that fluttering in my chest again. I wrapped my arms around her and held her closer while taking it all the feels.

I tried to hide my pleasure at her outburst so that she didn't lose her damn mind again, but it was no use.

"Oh, you like that, do you. Well, it sucks to be you, jackass, because now you're stuck with me for life."

"Can you, at least this once, react like a normal rational being?"

"Didn't anyone ever tell you? This is what happens when you stick your dick in crazy."

"At least you know yourself."

"I'm gonna tell your Mom."

Did I mention that the people who raised me from birth are now convinced that I am the harbinger and orchestrator of all her woes? If her heart wasn't as pure as it is twisted, I would believe that she is some psyop sent by the enemy to disrupt my otherwise peaceful existence.

I have no doubt that she would have no problem fabricating some story to get my mother to yell at me again. She and my sister had ripped into me for allowing someone to make her feel unwelcome.

When I confronted her about it, she simply showed me the conversation in the group chat, which I have to admit didn't show her calling anyone out, but she and I both knew who she was referring to, and it didn't take much for my Mom and sister to draw the same conclusion.

They had both gone on to assure her that she would, in fact, be welcomed into our circles with open arms, and Mom is now in the process of planning some soiree that I am absolutely certain this one had talked her into without coming right out and saying it. And she calls me sneaky.

"We should celebrate." I turned her around on my lap to straddle me and tugged at her bikini top.

"Celebrate how?" Oh, I'm sure she had a pretty good idea since she was the one who leaned in close to feed me her nipple.