13. Alyssa

He's very smooth and seems to know all the right things to say, even if they're things I didn't know I needed or wanted to hear. I'm not a romantic, never have been, I have no use for it. But I have to admit that his words have an odd effect on my senses. If only I could believe them without the fear that if I did, he'd someday have the power to break my heart.

"Don't think so hard. All you need to do is not hold me responsible for the things done by others. Judge me only according to my own deeds. Can you do that?" I could only nod against his chest, and the way he wrapped his arms tighter around me, I was sure he knew how terrified I was.

It was becoming so real, too real, and I was having a hard time keeping my feelings separated when he said things like that. We hadn't even exchanged vows yet, and he was already sucking me in. I wanted to run away, but there was a whole ocean between me and land. I think he may have done this on purpose.

"Breathe, little Alyssa. How about this: every year on our anniversary, you can decide if you want to stay or go, that way you're only on a yearly contract. If, say, at year five, you've decided you want out, you may leave. Even year two or three. I'll have the papers drawn up for us to sign, but and here's the kicker: you have to tell me if there's something wrong, something you need that I'm not providing, and give me the chance to fix it before you just up and leave."

That somehow eased my panic. Yes, that sounds better, a year-to-year thing instead of a lifetime. I don't know why that made me feel less stressed. "Well? How does that sound?" I was too choked up to answer, so I wrapped my arms around him and let that be enough.

I didn't realize until he sighed and exhaled that he, too, had been holding his breath. Why the heck was he….? Oh! He's just as nervous as I am. Can it be? There's no way. But when I moved my ear over his chest to where I could hear his heartbeat, I heard it. That same wild, out-of-control pounding that somehow soothed me.

"Are you okay now? We're being very poor hosts; we should get back to the others before they start to worry." I could've stayed in his arms for a few moments more, but whatever. "On second thought, let's stay here like this until you're ready to let go."

I can get used to this, having someone cater to me without having to be told, but I dare not let it go on for too long, or it'll be hell when our inevitable first fight happens. I'm not dumb enough to think our life together is always going to be this easy or that the day won't come when he gets sick of me, but he keeps knocking me off kilter with her easygoing attitude and willingness to let me have my way.

"I don't think you should pretend to be so willing to always give me what I want. I might get used to it and expect it all the time."

"There's a few things I can say to that. One, I'm older than you are; two, I don't have the same trauma that you do; three, I'm head over heels in love with you, so therefore, I'll be the one doing the heavy lifting for now."

"Once you are no longer burdened by the scars in your heart and realize that there's no need to fear me, I'll expect you to pull your weight in the love department."

"You're so sure that I can love?"

"Positive, and when you do, sweet Alyssa, it's going to be spectacular. And I want to be the one who's there for it." He did that kiss on the top of my head thing again, and I smiled. I think that was the first genuine smile I've shared with someone other than my brothers or Mom. It felt good.

GARRETT

She's terrified of life and doesn't even know it. I could kick her father's ass, but she's already done that, and besides, that's no way to start our relationship off. She's not the first victim of childhood divorce that I've met, obviously, but she's the first whose scars were so easy to see, at least for me.

I will never understand how men and women can do that to their own children without any care for what it might do to their young hearts and minds. She's been carrying around this trauma since she was eight years old, and no one else seems to have noticed. It pisses me off and makes me want to hit something or someone.

She's tough because she had to be. She'd built up walls around herself as a way to protect herself; now I have to pull them all down to get to the heart of her so I can heal her or show her how to heal herself.

I hate that her life was so damaged before she even got the chance to live. It breaks my heart, actually. She's so sweet and innocent without even knowing. She doesn't realize that her every action is that of the hurt little girl who lost her father's love and then had to deal with his monster of a wife and her kid, who Alyssa saw as the person who took her place.

I won't tell her this, but her Dad will have to go a very long way to gain my respect. Any man who would leave his own daughter to raise someone else's is a piece of shit if you ask me. But I guess that's something I shouldn't speak on since I have no real experience with it.

That being said, I'll be sure to keep an eye on him going forward because he won't get the chance to hurt her ever again in this life, not with me around. It may not be fair since I wasn't part of her life back then; she was a literal child, after all. But retrospectively, I hate what he did to her and will make him pay dearly if he fucks up again.

I don't think she realized that I counted him among her enemies when I made that statement the night before. He doesn't know it either, but I'll have him taken out before I let him fuck with her heart again.

"Come on, let me teach you how to handle this monster."

"Don't you have people doing that?"

"Yes, but I know how much you like being in control. Never leave your safety to anyone else. I'll teach you how to fly our private jet later."

"You can fly?"

"Of course, it's not as hard as you may think since computers do most of it. It's all math, and you're a math head, so it should be a breeze."

"What else can you do?" She was back to being playful.

"Haha, nice try, but you're not seeing my dick until after the wedding."

"You… I…" She slapped my chest and pouted before trying to walk away. "Nasty!"

"Very, and tomorrow night, I'm going to get you very dirty as well, little Alyssa."

Her face was pink, and her lips were twitching as she fought hard not to smile or laugh. "Who would've ever thought that one of the richest men in the world would have such a filthy mind?"

"What? You didn't think I was human?"

"It's not that. It's just… I don't know; you seem so far removed from human emotion."

"Don't kid yourself, sweetheart; there's a big difference between the boardroom and the bedroom."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"I can fuck in both places, but the execution and results are vastly different."

She didn't have a comeback for that one so I took her to the helm and moved the captain out of the way to show her how it's done.

ALYSSA

I can't remember the last time I had this much fun that didn't involve closing a big business deal. By the time we were out on the water for a few hours, I was starting to relax and enjoy myself. Garrett seemed to be going out of his way to make the point that we were the hosts, not treating me like a guest.

At first, I didn't get it, but the girls kept pointing it out. Like the way, he wouldn't commit to something without asking me first. For instance, when one of my brothers asked him something about the future, he'd say, I'll have to talk to your sister about that.

He kept including me in everything, which was kind of weird because I hadn't the first clue about most of it. I know I'm rambling, but I think that is part of his ammo, keeping me on my toes at all times.

He's so open and casual with his damn billions. I'm gonna have to have a talk with him about that shit because if he goes from billions to millions, I'll leave his ass. I said that to him, and he laughed until he cried. I guess he didn't take me seriously.

At some point Dad came to sit beside me while the others had cornered Garrett. "So, you're doing this. You're sure."

"Yes, I am."

"But you haven't known him that long. What about love?"

I looked him in the eye because I thought he was having a brain aneurysm. "You're serious! Dad, how long did you know Mom before you two got married?"

"Five years. We met in high school, you know that."

"And you two were madly in love, weren't you?"

"Of course, she's the love of my life." I stared at him, begging him to see the irony without having to spell it out. I didn't know my Dad was this thick.

"And where did that get her? Divorced from the so-called love of her life. A broken shell of who she once was, robbed of who she could've been had she not married a spineless jerk."

Now this man has known me all my life and knows better than anyone that I give no shits, and yet he looked taken aback. Maybe it was the tone I used. Calm, level, with no real intonation. "It's not the same."

"Damn straight, it's not the same. I'm walking into this with my eyes wide open; I guess I should thank you for that because, after the shit you put Mom and me through, I'll never allow anyone to do that to me and my kid."

"Are you really still this angry about the divorce?"

"I'm not just angry about the divorce but also the way you did it. You fucking broke my mother she's my mother. I had to grow up knowing that you would rather raise another man's daughter than your own; you rejected me when you rejected her, don't you get it? You tore our family, the very fabric of my young life, apart for some Helen pussy, and knowing that bitch it couldn't have been that good."

His mouth was all the way down to his damn chest bone. Like bitch, what did you think? "So you hate me."

"No, not anymore. I used to until I came to realize that I don't have to feel anything for you. You didn't feel anything for me when you destroyed my childhood. Why should I care about you?"

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh? It's been years."

"Bruh, every second you spend being married to Helen is a second more that you've chosen them, don't you get it? Every day, you are with her; you are choosing her. I know; Mom told me that Helen threatened your job, but that means shit to me."

"All it means is that you chose your job over us as well, so no, I don't hate you. You just simply don't exist beyond the fact that some fluids from your balls helped to form me. Tell me more about your love now."

I got up and walked away because I wasn't about to let him spoil my mood. I know most people think I should be over it by now, but if I had cancer at eight and that shit wasn't treated, I would still have cancer.

He broke my heart and did fuck all to fix it, so how the hell am I supposed to just move on from that shit? I'm not into rug sweeping and being the bigger person. This motherfucker is bigger and taller than me; let him do that shit.

"What did you do to him?" Garrett approached me at the rail with a glass of champagne.

"Who?"

"Your Dad, he looks crestfallen."

"Oh him, nothing; I just told him some hard truths that he seemed unaware of."

"Are you okay?"

"Aren't you one of those types who think I should get over it by now?"

"No, I'm one of those types who will always be on your side; even when you screw up, I'll be on your side. I'll tell you when you're wrong, of course, but yours will always be the side I choose."

"I'm a little bit confused. You're going to tell me when I'm wrong but still choose my side?"

"Well, yes, I can still love you when you're wrong. We're not perfect, but I don't think one thing should eliminate the other. Say you rob a bank. I'll tell you it was a fuck stupid thing to do, but I'll pay any amount to keep you out of jail."

"What's your boundary? Your line in the sand?"

"Any egregious act against a child." I looked at him in shock.

"That's it? What about murder?"

"Who do you want dead, and what did they do to you?" Lord, I done agreed to marry Dexter.