8. Nikolai

Chapter 8

Nikolai

I sat, staring at my screen, having done absolutely no work in the hour I had been down here. Two cups of coffee and pacing enough to get in a fucking workout — now that I had done. But my mind was firmly situated on last night, and the fucking power punch that Maddy pulled. She was a spitfire extraordinaire, and my mouth was still watering, thinking about her taste, her sounds, and the feel of her wrapped around me.

Fuck, now I had a raging hard-on to deal with.

A soft knocking sound rapped at the door, pulling my attention. Taking a moment to readjust myself and cursing the fact that I didn't have time to run upstairs and wake Maddy to remedy my current predicament, I called out, "Come in."

Deacon entered quietly, closing the door behind him.

"Morning," I greeted him, raising my almost empty second cup of coffee. He did the same with the mug in his hand.

"Mornin'." He situated himself in the chair opposite my desk, making himself comfortable as he sipped his coffee silently. Deacon wasn't a man of many words on most days, but it wasn't like him to come in and just sit.

"So, last night…" he began with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, last night." I couldn't hold back the smirk as I replayed highlights in my mind.

"Brother, I've gotta be honest. I'm surprised."

"You and me both, man. She was getting under my skin, but I had no idea how good it would be. God, it felt good to let go for a little bit. And the way she responded? She might not be a submissive, or at least not know she's a submissive, but—"

"Niko, man. This is a job. A job ." Deacon's words halted my joy in its tracks.

Fuck! He was right. Protecting Maddy was a job, one I had accepted, and that Quinn trusted me to carry out with professionalism. And what did I do? I went and fucked her, not even a week after she got here. What the fuck had I done?

"I'm not trying to rain on your obviously very enjoyable parade here, man. But the fact of the matter is, this is a job, and you just fucked the witness. That's… not great." One look at Deacon's face told me that while he wasn't judging me, he was trying to hold me accountable. And even still, I could see the regret written on his face.

It had been a long, long time since I had truly connected with someone. Sure, I had subs I played with at the local dungeons. I'd been to a few play parties and had even invited a girl back here to our personal dungeon before. Granted, that had been a shit show, to say the least. The girl had grown attached after only playing together a handful of times. And though I had negotiated my boundaries, she had not listened. It had been a problem for about a month.

Connecting with Maddy last night? It was different. Totally different. And it was obvious Deacon could see that.

"Fuck, you're right. I —" I cut off abruptly, running a hand over my face as the reality of what I had done set in. "I don't even know what to say for myself."

"Look, Niko, I'm not telling you that you can't. You're an adult. She's an adult. I'm just trying to make sure you're thinking this through. Be careful, yeah?" His southern drawl, deeper than normal this early in the morning, held no judgment, only kindness and sympathy.

With that, he stood and left me to my own emotions, closing the door softly behind him. I had no idea what to do. Well, that wasn't entirely true. I knew that getting involved with the witness in a case, a witness I was responsible for, was a horrible idea.

That being said, I wasn't sure I was capable of stopping things. Not after last night. God, the way she had cried out for me, the way she had wrapped around me like a glove. But above all else, the way that she just kept up that bratty attitude to the very last moment, no matter how hard I pushed. It was… Christ; it was glorious. It was everything I had ever wanted.

And she wasn't even a submissive.

We hadn't even negotiated. Not that I had held her to anything whatsoever. It had been kinky fucking, not BDSM. There was a huge difference. A difference I would have liked very much to introduce her to. But was that the right call?

Or was I playing with fire?

I heard voices filtering through the door and knew my internal dilemma would have to wait. Everyone was up for breakfast. Quietly, I shut my computer down and went to help Sully with the meal. I wanted to take a plate to Maddy in bed if I could. If I was right, she was still fast asleep after last night's… festivities.

"Morning, Sully," I called as I entered the kitchen, the smell of bacon and coffee already wafting down the halls. It was probably my favorite thing about living with the guys, and Sullivan in particular. A hearty breakfast nearly every morning, guaranteed.

"Mornin', Niko! Eggs and bacon for you?" he asked, already building a plate of delicious food for me.

"Make that one for Maddy. I'll eat later," I said, waving off his offer.

"You need to eat, Brother. You eat this plate while I'm fixing a plate for Maddy. Best of both worlds," he countered with a big grin on his face.

I don't think I would ever get over the sight of the burly man in a floral apron with matching oven mitts. It was quite the picture, and it made him the picture of happiness.

I settled into my plate of food, eating it quickly — as I'd been trained to do by military standards of eating an entire meal in three minutes flat — and took the new plate of food for Maddy from Sully.

"Here is a cup of coffee for her to go along with the food, and it looks like you're due for a fill-up too, hmm? Here you go." Sully refilled my mug and handed me a second one, leaving my hands very full.

"Thanks, man."

"No problem. And I loaded her up with extra because protein is just what she needs after last night." With a wink and a waggle of his eyebrows, he turned back to the stove, setting more bacon in the pan to fry up. I shook my head with a chuckle and made my way up to Maddy's bedroom.

With my hand on the doorknob, I paused. We may have fucked like rabbits just hours ago, but that didn't just give me the right to barge into her room — though I had done just that last night. Thinking better of my earlier actions, I knocked softly on the door. And got no response.

Carefully, I cracked the door open. "Maddy?" I asked softly, not wanting to spook her. As I peeked inside the room, I saw her, lying peacefully against her pillow, still fast asleep.

Keeping my footsteps light, I stepped into the room, closing the door behind me before setting the plate of food and the mugs of coffee on the nightstand.

"Maddy?" I called softly, placing my hand on her shoulder and shaking gently to wake her.

"Hmm? What?" she sputtered, her voice croaky with sleep. As her eyelids fluttered open, she gasped, sitting up abruptly and covering herself with the blanket. "Christ, Niko, you scared me."

She visibly relaxed as wakeful realization flooded her.

"Don't do that!" she hissed, smacking me in the arm. I couldn't help but grin. That spitfire spirit was ingrained in every bit of her, and I was fucking here for it. But, my decision was made. I had to end things before they went any further.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. But, hopefully, coffee and bre—"

"Coffee? Where?" Her eyes popped open wide, frantically searching the room til her eyes landed on the steaming cup next to the bed. Without asking, she grabbed a mug — mine, to be precise — and drank from it quickly, hissing as it burned her tongue.

"A coffee fanatic, I see," I chuckled lightly.

"I prefer the term caffeine dependent, but whatever floats your boat, buddy." I cringed at the pet name she had taken to calling me, but let it slide.

"Well, there's also breakfast," I added, grabbing the plate and handing it to her. "Eggs and bacon. I hope that's alright."

"This is quite the full-service operation you all are running here, isn't it? Room and board, home-cooked meals, protection and safety, and orgasms as the cherry on top." She threw me a wink over the rim of her — er, my — mug. That look made it almost impossible to go through with what I was about to do.

"About that. Maddy, last night was incredible."

"It was, wasn't it? I've never had such… rigorous sex before. But that was downright fun." Her eyes lit up with glee, losing focus for a moment as she reveled in the memory. I knew the feeling all too well, having done much the same all morning.

"Maddy," I tried again. "About last night. It can't happen again."

Silence hung between us as her eyes widened in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"It can't happen again," I repeated gently. I didn't want to upset her, but the situation had gotten out of control, and Deacon was right. I had a job to do. Mixing business with pleasure was never a good idea.

"I see," she said plainly. I watched her shrink into herself. Instantly, I longed for a time machine, so I could go back and handle this conversation differently. "I guess I thought you enjoyed it."

Her tone had completely shifted from her earlier delight, hardening into cold distance. That was the last thing I wanted.

"Maddy, I did enjoy it. Too much, honestly. But it's my job to protect you and keep you safe while you are here."

"And you can't do that if you're fucking me?" she all but spat back at me.

"That's … ugh, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that mixing business with pleasure usually ends badly. And while all I want to do is take that plate from you and dive under these blankets for another taste, it's not a good idea. Not with all that's at stake." I tried my best to explain, but as she crossed her arms over her chest after setting the coffee mug back down on the nightstand, I realized it had not had its intended effect.

"No, it is what you're saying. I don't understand why it would cause an issue. We are both consenting adults here, Niko."

That was the same thing Deacon had said, though his message had been a little more clear that I was doing the wrong thing. Still, I had to think of the bigger picture, even if she could not.

"Maddy, in another time and another place —" I began, but she barked out a sarcastic laugh.

"Please. Do not give me a bullshit line like that, you coward. I deserve better than that. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to eat my breakfast in peace." I paused for a moment, debating the right thing to do, but quickly settled on giving her the space she desired.

I stood from the bed and made my way to the door.

"As you wish," I muttered gently before closing the door to give her privacy. Just as the door shut firmly behind me, I heard her response.

"Do NOT quote The Princess Bride to me! Ugh!"

Instead of barging back into her room and making good on the little fantasy of a morning orgasm session, I shook the thought from my head and made my way back down to my office. At least there, I could suffer in peace.

Hours later, and elbows deep into a work project for a custom car design that had been sent to our website, the door to my office slammed open. I winced, knowing with certainty that there would definitely be a mark left from it, if not a hole in the wall from where the doorknob had crashed into the drywall.

"You know, Niko, I've had some time to think about it, and I don't agree with you," Maddy began as she stormed her way into the room, finger pointed directly at my face.

"Well hello to you, too, Maddy," I said, rolling my eyes at her antics.

"Don't hello Maddy me, buddy. I'm not in the mood," she spat as she paced back and forth across the small expanse of my office.

"Obviously," I quipped under my breath.

"The fact of the matter is that sleeping with me doesn't have to affect the job," she stated, still pacing like her life depended on it.

"Oh, really? How do you figure that?" I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest as I regarded her. Her hair was down, loose waves flowing down her back like silk in the wind. The tank top she wore left little to the imagination, as did the tiny shorts that went along with it. But I remained diligent in my attention to her words, versus that ripe ass that was already begging for my hand again. If I squinted, I swore I could see the faintest reddened mark just below the hemline of her shorts. The smirk that lifted the corner of my mouth could not be contained.

"Well, for starters, you are acting like this is going to be a relationship. And let me be clear, it's not. I'm not interested in a relationship. Hell, I just got out of one."

I had forgotten that key detail in her police report.

"Second, if you had bothered to stop and actually talk to me instead of just dictating how things would be, then you'd know that I fully intended this to be short-term fun. Nothing more. Nothing less. Something to…" she trailed off, searching for the right words.

"Scratch the itch?" I offered.

"I was going to say relieve some stress, but the point still stands. So, give me one good reason why you think this is a bad idea. And don't give me that don't mix business with pleasure bullshit. We're both adults and can manage a fucking expectation, don't you think?" She turned, halting her pacing as she placed her hands flat on the top of my desk, her eyes narrowed down at me. It wasn't a position I enjoyed, but with her? Well, I couldn't stop myself from letting her have the win.

"There are other things that make this complicated, Maddy," I said carefully. It would do me no good to poke the bear. At least, not right now. After last night, I had learned that poking the bear was quite fun, in more ways than one.

"Seriously, name one legitimate reason. I dare you." Her eyes sparked with that delightful brat energy, and while it was nearly impossible not to rise to her challenge, I stayed calm and handled this like the professional I was.

"Well, how about the fact that you are going to be here for an unknown amount of time? If you are here for a long while, things could get complicated easily," I answered calmly.

"Oh, right. I forgot men don't know how to communicate effectively. Well, if it's too hard for you to handle, you should have just said that," she laughed humorlessly.

"This is not too hard for me to handle," I spoke clearly, my voice going deeper as she began pressing the buttons she had located far too easily within me.

"No, no! I understand completely. Using big boy words can be hard for lots of boys." She adopted a patronizing, child-like tone that had my hackles rising and my palm itching to spank her. Still, I held back. She was trying to get a rise out of me, but I knew this game. I knew it well. Some would say I was a Master at it, in fact.

"Maddy, this is a complicated situation. Plus, there's —" I cut my words off sharply, realizing what I was about to say. While I wasn't ashamed of the fact that I lived in the BDSM lifestyle, that wasn't a bone I wanted dug up by her, not in this situation. This situation was dicey at best, as it was.

"Oh, yes, I see it now. Words are hard, aren't they, big guy?" That baby talk had every hair raised on the back of my neck, had my hands tightening into fists on the top of the desk just to ensure I didn't grab her and throw her over my knee. The desire to handle the brat in front of me was so overwhelming it took every ounce of restraint I had to hold myself back.

"Enough," I growled, standing to my full height and slamming my open palm down on the top of the desk. Better the desk than her ass right now.

"I get it, Niko. You were right. This isn't going to work. Because I'm not interested in being involved — in any way — with a man who can't communicate. And communication is key. So…" she trailed off with an insolent shrug.

I slammed my hand down one more time, quickly skirting the edge of the desk as I stormed over to her, grabbing her by the upper arms and refusing to allow myself to shake some sense into her bratty little brain.

"If you think a Dominant like myself doesn't know how to communicate, you have another thing coming," I hissed, inches from her face.

Her eyes popped open wide, and I realized what I had done.

I had crossed the line in the sand I had drawn for myself.

"Nikolai," she said, her tone completely changed from before. Now soft where she had been full of sass, her eyes held something akin to an understanding that I simply refused to acknowledge.

"I said, enough."

And with that, I stormed out of my office, leaving her standing there, likely with far more questions than answers.

That made two of us.