Chapter 6

JAMIE

Anger fuels Maeve"sdarker side and encourages the Blackwood magic that everybody"s determined to quash. I"ve tasted Blackwood magic myself, even before connecting with Maeve"s. I used their grimoire and even though I resisted everything but the protection spell at first, I still returned to the book. The spell I created the second time—the blood rune travel to the Blackwood house—worked the first time I tried.

I used a major Blackwood, and completely illegal spell hidden deep inside a book because I"d absorbed their magic. As a skilled witch, I melded energy too easily with darker magic, spurred on by desperate fear for Maeve. Later, Tobias had "a quiet word" with me about how I managed to cast the spell, but I downplayed the situation. Told him it was sheer luck; perhaps because the world wanted me to rescue him and Maeve.

Over and over, I've insisted to Maeve that she should resist the Blackwood shadows and focus on the Winterfall in case the Blackwood corrupts. Everybody puts energy into teaching Maeve to control the triggers and push away the dark magic"s attempt to influence her.

But I"m her bonded witch and I now know we"re all wasting our time. Maeve doesn"t want to. Not truly. The Blackwood and Winterfall don"t co-exist inside Maeve"s soul, they"re not two halves battering against each other for supremacy. The magic is interwoven into one. She was born half Blackwood, half Winterfall, and could never be one or the other.

Lex and Astrid"s bond was two halves of opposing magic that at times joined and at other times resisted in the way lovers would, but ultimately the Winterfall controlled Astrid, and the Blackwood controls Lex. Would Maeve"s magic be different if she"d lived amongst witches who recognised Maeve"s opposing magic early in her life and worked on separating the two before they became indistinguishable?

I believe so.

Others witnessed Maeve manifest shadows, once fuelled by the magic I allowed her. I allowed her on the night Ione died and didn"t withdraw my energy or force her to resist. Afterwards, I urged Maeve to stop, to go to Lex for guidance, but he"s useless—teaching Maeve to resist the Blackwood and embrace the Winterfall is pointless and will do more damage. If she fights the Blackwood, the Blackwood will fight back. When Maeve allows the Blackwood through, the magic settles afterwards, like an animal unleashed, allowed to rid itself of energy before returning to constraint.

Maeve"s a good person, and that doesn"t come from magic. She"s grown stronger and used her abilities to protect those she loves. Nothing could stop Maeve in the same way Ash wouldn"t be able to prevent his dragon protecting what"s precious to him.

But Maeve is also a Blackwood.

And her magic increasingly affects me too.

Again, more "quiet words" from Tobias at how I"ve changed since the incident with Ione, but that"s only a drop in the ocean of blood I"ve swum through in recent months. I"ve seen horrors, experienced the worst of the world, and now I"m confronted with my benevolent, protective leaders wanting to hurt not only those in my life, but those they claim to protect.

Now Andrei too. The First. Dorian"s involvement. All these powerful entities surround me: the ordinary witch.

Yet I"m not. Lex tells me that I"m strong to cope as Maeve"s bonded witch, but the physical desires and cravings that can exist between bonded witches always extends to magic. I absorb what once frightened me and learned that Maeve"s strength helps me too.

If I spoke about this, the others would panic. Claim I"m under the influence of Blackwood magic, which could take over my good. They think I"m the weak Jamie who once hovered around the edges, unsure of his role and who instead threw himself into research and support to make up for his weaknesses.

But I"m not weak. I held back from truly bonding with Maeve for too long. We"re interconnected, our own magic as tangled as what"s inside Maeve, and a truth continues to creep up on me despite my denial.

I will use Blackwood magic if I need to.

I"m not frightened—there"s a primordial who-the-fuck-knows-what threatening my life, who could return and snuff us out if we"re no longer any use. Any worry that Blackwood magic corrupts me pales compared to that.

To take on everything we can—everything we"ve no choice but to face—needs everything we have. Hell, DorianBlackwood joined us and he"s the most likely to use corruption to get what he wants. Once over, I never trusted Tobias, but I have zero trust in this witch-vamp hybrid. Dorian already killed Andrei and didn"t give a shit—the arsehole couldn"t see the big deal about his actions.

If allowing Blackwood magic to grow inside me adds a weapon to our arsenal and helps Maeve, I won"t think twice. If allowing Maeve to use my spell energy for any of her magic assists us, I"ll do that.

But I"ll stay silent. Toe the official line: Blackwood bad, Winterfall good. That belief is bullshit, especially if Lex told the truth about the real Adeline, the Winterfall matriarch who cursed Tobias. Why else would the two families" magic meld together so easily if they didn"t have something in common?

I chew on an apple, sitting on the wood and iron bench that looks over the woods to the side of the Winterfall house. I"m not walking back inside until I"ve no choice. For the last three days, I"ve stayed as far from Andrei as I can because I can"t cope. Seeing the state he"s in confronts me with more than I can handle.

Three days.

Andrei"s dead.

Or the one we know is. What"s left of him up there could die, or he could survive and threaten us all.

I delve into my jacket pocket and pull out the small black tourmaline I took from Lex"s place. He doesn"t possess any Blackwood family artefacts or magical items, but he"s lived in that cottage for years, and everything around the guy absorbed his energy. Psychometry tells me that. Psychometry told me which item I could take with the most energy and that Lex wouldn"t miss.

Much the same as when I held the Blackwood pendant, curling my hand around the stone sends a buzz through me. Not elation but confidence that I"m less vulnerable if I tune into the magic that once protected me against bullies—and death.

Life"s now a million miles from bullies, but death follows me again.

Someone approaches, soft footsteps crunching in gravel, and Maeve appears. At least she"s showed emotion recently, even though she represses most. Maeve's dressed in black sweatpants and a baggy blue sweater, hair unbrushed and eyes smudged with dark circles. I"ve sat here since leaving the breakfast nobody else attended, presuming Maeve was asleep or with Tobias.

"Have you stayed awake all night?" I ask Maeve.

She approaches and sits heavily on the bench, pausing to kiss me briefly, smiling but eyes dull. "I"m not sleeping well."

"I could find something to help with that?" I suggest.

Maeve shakes her head. "If Andrei wakes up, I don"t want to be drugged by magic or Lix."

Sighing, I pull fingers through her tangled hair. "Did you sit in his room all night again?"

"Not all night. Tobias and Ash took over." She strokes my cheek as I bite hard on my lip and look away. "Jamie. It"s okay. We understand if you want to avoid being alone with Andrei."

"I don"t think he"ll spring to life and hurt me," I mumble. "I"m just..." What? A coward? In denial? I drag a hand through my hair. "Not coping. I"ll help out later?"

"It"s fine," she insists and kisses me again. "But I worry about you."

"I"m alright."

Her eyes go to my hand. "What"s that?"

I"d forgotten I still held the stone, and I curl my fingers around until it"s hidden in my palm. "Nothing."

"Way to sound like a naughty kid caught with something he stole," she says and chuckles. "Show me."

Ever since we returned from Lex"s, and the Blackwood side of our lives came to the fore, I"ve wanted to speak to Maeve about the thoughts I"ve hidden. I"d intended to earlier, but when we arrived back to the Andrei shitshow everything else got pushed away.

No secrets.The words keep echoing, the promise we all made to each other in the early days. Yeah, well, Andrei went one step further than no secrets... But Maeve. She must suspect something"s different, even beneath the grief she"s avoiding.

I open my fingers again and she frowns, taking hold of the black stone. "Where"s this from?"

"Lex"s place."

"Huh?" Maeve turns the stone around in her hand. "Bit of a weird thing for him to give you." She trails off. "Jamie. Does Lex know you have this?"

"No." I rub my cheek, then take Maeve"s hands. As the one holding the tourmaline touches mine, the magic jolts between us.

"Jamie!" She drops her grip and stares at my hands. "Why are you taking objects infused with Blackwood magic?"

Troubled eyes meet mine and I shift closer. "How"s Andrei?"

"Don"t try to distract me. I"m confused why you"re taking Blackwood objects. Are you trying psychometry in case there"re answers inside? Memories of the runes or spells?"

"No."

"Then, what?" Her mouth parts a little. "Are you trying to connect with the magic? Jamie! What happened to you insisting I don"t?"

I look at Maeve"s hands as I link my fingers with her soft ones. These connections are the times in my life I feel most alive. "You and I both know that you"ll never lose the Blackwood magic, you should learn to control and not suppress the spells."

"What?" Her mouth drops fully open. "Where"s this attitude come from?"

"Maeve. I"m bonded to you. I"ve seen your power. Felt it. The times you allowed Blackwood magic through, I"ve helped rather than stop you because..." I trail off. "Because as soon as people deny part of what drives them, that part tries harder to break through."

Maeve swallows and looks down at where we connect. "You"ve changed."

"We all have." I pause. "I don"t think the Blackwood shadows would ever take over, but you"re stronger with them. We are."

Pulling her hands away, Maeve stands, eyes widening. "You want the magic. I knew using the pendant and book to protect yourself at the academy always stayed with you."

"That"s not true."

"It is!"

"If Blackwood is part of what you are and I"m your bonded witch, then it"s also within me now!" I protest and stand too.

"Then Lex needs to talk to you too." Maeve"s arms cross tightly over her chest and I pull at them, but she won"t move. "Soon."

"Listen to me." I take her face between my long fingers. "Look at what we"re facing. Look at Andrei. The fight we"re facing against Gabriella. The Dominion. For our lives."

"Exactly! We can"t go down a dark route, Jamie," she says hoarsely.

"I know you," I whisper. "Better than all of them—even when Tobias could read your mind. You"re a Blackwood and the only reason that scares you is because their magic comes when you"re out of control. What if together we can channel this properly?"

"I don"t want the Blackwood as part of me." Her voice falters.

"Yes, you do. I"ve seen and felt that in you. That magic helped you, and more than once." I wait for her denial and that never comes, so my fingers tighten, eyes searching hers urgently. "Combined Blackwood and Winterfall magic trapped the First. You have that combination."

"And we can never trap the First," she whispers in shock. "Andrei."

Squeezing my eyes closed, I drop my grip and step back. "I"m telling you the truth about what"s happening to us both, even if you don"t want to hear it."

"You"re talking about trapping Andrei," she snaps back.

Ugh. I chew my lip. "No. Forget I said that. We can use this combination against Gabriella. She"d never expect us to cast Blackwood spells on her."

But all I can see on her face is disgust at the Andrei comment. I can"t correct her by explaining what I mean—that I"ve no faith and believe he"ll die.

Maeve extends a hand. "Give me the stone. I intend to see Lex soon and I"ll ask him to speak to you. Knock some sense in."

But her heart races, cheeks pink, and I know enough that I"ve touched on something in the centre of her soul. A part that speaks to me and strengthens us both.

"We"re running out of time," I whisper.

"And that"s why I"m not saying anything about this to Ash or Tobias yet. Conflict is the last thing we need right now." Her eyes sadden and she strokes hair from my eyes. "I love you, Jamie. We"ll win and I"ll do anything I can to protect you but not with dark magic. We protect each other."

Yes, Maeve. But that"s why I"m pursuing this.

I"ll do anything and everything possible to end this the way we want.