Chapter 46

MAEVE

The momentmy back hits the carpet, I shove at Andrei and roll onto my side, on my feet in a second. I glance around, groggily finding my bearings.

A colourful rug on a polished wooden floor. Blue comforter on a bed covered in clothes I chose not to pack. A bay window overlooking the front of the Winterfall estate, the distant hills shrouded by rain clouds.

Andrei, with his mercury eyes standing near my closed bedroom door.

"Are you still that crazed thing?" I cough out. "Do I need to climb out of the window?"

"Define crazed thing," he says calmly.

"You attacked Jamie and planned to slaughter dozens of kids… you're a creature that burns people's brains and eyes out," I retort, backing away.

"Why are you scared? Your shadows can take me on. Where are they, by the way?"

I stare down at my hands and inspect my arms before darting a look around the room. Nothing. The chill they bring isn't with me either, but I sense them in the corner of my mind, behind my fingertips, ready to strike again.

"The shadows merged into me, I think." I squeeze my hands. Hold them back.

"They're not wandering the world preparing to cause chaos?" He's still nonchalant. Still not Andrei. He's more the First than I've ever sensed in him. Andrei, the beautiful creature it created just lost control and showed a tiny fraction of what the First could do to us. To anybody.

"Why did you attack Jamie?" I demand.

"I didn't! I shoved him out of the way!"

"With a mental attack that hurt him!" I grit my teeth. "I'm bonded to Jamie, Andrei. If you hurt him, you'll more than piss me off."

"I barely touched him." He has the audacity to sound hurt by the accusation.

"Well, that's true, compared to what you did to the three vamps," I say sardonically. "Are you the First right now?"

"Fuck, no." He scoffs a laugh. "If I was, wouldn't I pin you down while I turned you?"

My mouth fills with acid. "And will you?"

A flicker of Andrei appears in his over-bright eyes. "Even though that would be the ultimate way to protect you, no."

The room spins. Omigod. Does Andrei really think that? Is this why the First instilled this insane protectiveness in him? "That isn't funny, Andrei."

He regards me and the silence lifts every hair on my arms. If that's in his mind, he'll meet my shadows again.

"Why are we at the Winterfall house?" I ask. "How are we here?"

He shrugs. "I always wondered how the First travelled. Impressive that I can do the same."

"Not really, because that ability takes you closer to the creature's self'."

Andrei pulls himself from the door and takes slow steps closer, but I don't back away from the disturbing energy. "Don't you think the closeness is a good thing, Maeve?"

The fury-filled guy who emerged in the catacombs, the one oblivious to anything but a desire to follow his own plans, has retreated, but he's still not the Andrei I walked into the catacombs with. "A good thing?" I choke.

"The shadows overcame me, Maeve. Not only physically, but they tore into my mind, separating my thoughts and actions. I moved location to get away from them." I frown, confused. "If they can overcome me, they can overcome the First."

"Maybe," I say hesitantly, and pull out my phone. "If that's the part of you the shadows successfully attacked and not your hemia side."

Andrei watches as I type a message. "Tobias?" I nod. "Are you gonna tell me how he upset you yet?"

I snort. "Not a chance."

I'm at Winterfall house he's calmer but not himself you all okay?

My pulse sounds in my ears as seconds pass without a response

are you safe?

yes

leaving now it's a mess will come there

Now? I scratch my cheek. How long to travel back from London? Jamie used blood runes once before to take Andrei and Ash with him to the Blackwood house, but only because he copied from the grimoire. Without a grimoire and runes, the guys' only option is to escape the tunnels and drive.

What if Andrei's behaviour fucked up everything and somebody dies or is caught?

Jamie. My vision. "I need a drink," I say. "Excuse me."

Andrei doesn't move, but his eyes settle closer to normal. "Sorry."

I balk. "Let's wait for the others before starting on the apologies, Andrei. Because you've a lot of them to give out."

"Have I hurt you?" he whispers and takes my wrists, examining the skin.

"My magic or the shadows would've stopped anything you or anybody tried to inflict on me. You had no need to react like that to someone who barely touched me."

His hand remains wrapped around my arm. "I know, but I couldn't… I can't… Fuck!"

"What?"

Andrei holds my face with soft fingers. "I'm obsessed with you. I've loved you for months, but everything's so fucking intense since… Now. Thoughts of you wrap around my insides, choking and pulling at every part of me when you're not around. This isn't a voice constantly urging me to find and keep you safe, but a compulsion that scrambles my mind." He squeezes his eyes closed. "But at the same time, I'm dealing with the craving and my head's a mess."

"And this is all the locked-up parts you want out? The part we witnessed in the catacombs?" I ask, placing a hand over his, and he nods before resting his forehead on mine.

We stand like this, breathing calming, grounding ourselves back in the familiar. Gradually, Andrei's sharp edges smooth, the chilling aura warming again. I wasn't threatened in the catacombs by Andrei or anybody, but my own mind's a mess from what I witnessed.

The guy gripping my fingers, forehead still against mine as if afraid to look at me, is lost. For all his joking and love of his new life in the daytime, Andrei's struggling and not reaching out. Not to me. Or any of us.

I press my lips to Andrei's, holding them there for more than a moment, long enough that I hope he understands that we're beneath what happened and will rise above.

"I love you," I say, "But I don't understand you or what's happening."

"I guess I've more to deal with than the hemia change that once worried me," he whispers.

"Promise me that if you ever sense the First's influence that you'll tell me." I step back and search his eyes, now fading back to green. "Promise me, Andrei."

He nods and tucks hair behind my ear. "I'll fight her inside and out, Maeve. But I promise what happened back there was all me."

"That's what scares me. The lack of control." Andrei's eyes sadden and he watches his fingers as he strokes my face, pausing on my lips. "But in a way I'm glad you've shown yourself," I add.

Voices downstairs startle me. Nobody should be here. Andrei walks to the door and listens, as I strain to hear. All male. Not the First.

"The others? How are they—?" I begin.

One voice shouts Andrei's name loudly and interrupts my question with an answer.

Dorian.

Tobias involved Dorian again? Great.

"You should wait here," I say to Andrei.

"I'm not skulking in your room like a kid," he retorts, then fights a smile. "As if any of them would dare attack me."

"Andrei. Drop this attitude. Nobody will find what happened funny."

I push past him, heading downstairs, taking the steps two at a time.

"You're a fucking liar, Whitlock," shouts Dorian.

I burst into the conservatory where Dorian's in Tobias's face, fury rolling from him. Jamie sits on a wicker chair stemming the bleeding on his finger, Ash beside him, both silent.

My wobbly legs almost give way. They're all here. Safe. Ignoring the confrontation, I go to Jamie and sit, then touch his pale face. "Are you hurt?"

"No. But I've a bloody big headache." His lips seal in a thin line. "What the hell was the arsehole thinking?" I kiss and hug him, and he smiles. "I'm okay, Maeve."

"Ash? Are you alright?" I ask, leaning around, scanning him for injuries too.

He nods, but he's stony faced.

"Do you know who is not alright, Maeve?" interrupts a furious Dorian, his blue eyes marred by black.

"Andrei."

"No. Me! The lying bastard sent me a message that he'd found Gabriella." My eyes widen at an unflustered Tobias. "I get to the catacombs, find a load of hysterical kids, and these three running out. Out. No Gabriella."

"Oh!" I bite away a smile at Tobias's smart trick. I should've known as soon as I saw Jamie's finger. "You used blood runes."

"This is the second time in two days, mate." Dorian jabs a finger into Tobias's chest. "I am not amused."

Tobias regards him for a moment. "Yesterday, I told you I thought Gabriella might be inside the catacombs. You chose to come."

With a growl, Dorian turns away and stomps into the kitchen.

"You asked Dorian to help with leaving the scene?" I ask. "That was quick thinking."

"No. He would've told us to sort out our own mess. I asked Dorian for help with Gabriella." Tobias smiles ruefully. "The mayhem in the catacombs stopped anybody challenging us since we were lost in the chaos, but asking for back up seemed sensible in case the situation changed."

"You're lucky I didn't turn around straightaway and leave you there!" Dorian shouts from the kitchen.

Jamie drags his other hand through his hair, mussed from constantly doing this. "Where's Andrei? What the fuck happened?"

"He brought me back here. That's all. Andrei's upstairs." I pause. "How bad was everything in the tunnels when you left?"

"Art tried to calm what was happening," says Ash. "Jamie found Tobias who then had to wipe Art's mind, thanks to Andrei."

"Not many of the recruits ran towards the entrance since they're hemia. They burrowed further into the catacombs," says Jamie. "Getting out wasn't too hard."

Again, Tobias scoffs. "Good thing I got a hold on Art's mind before he disappeared completely."

I throw a look at Dorian. "I hope you didn't kill him."

"Me? I was looking for Gabriella." He glowers at Tobias again.

"Art won't remember us," says Tobias. "The recruits will because I'd no chance to influence all their minds. We needed out, asap."

"Apart from the dead ones," puts in Dorian. "They won't remember."

And I bet Dorian added to Andrei's count.

"Quite the mess left for Gabriella to clean up," mutters Jamie. "She'll know we're onto her now."

Dorian waves a hand. "Oh, she already does. The woman keeps tabs on everything."

"I would've helped if Andrei hadn't taken me," I say.

"We wouldn't need to do any of this if Andrei hadn't killed people," retorts Tobias.

Everybody else in the room focuses on something behind me, and even if I wasn't linked to him, I'd know who by the deathly silence.

Andrei.

I close my eyes. Please let everybody stay calm.

Andrei doesn't speak for a moment, focusing on Jamie. "Sorry for the…" He points at his head. "I was pissed off. Not thinking straight."

"Yeah, seems you always take shit out on me if something annoys you," he snaps back.

"I do not."

"Forgotten how you attacked me when the Blackwoods took Maeve?" he says coldly.

"I only pushed you," says Andrei.

"Oh? So, I'm lucky you didn't burn my eyes out?"

"Stop that," says Ash. "Not helpful."

Jamie shakes his head. "Andrei. Everything you did was insane. Look at the issues it caused."

He rubs his nose. "Sorry?"

The word really isn't helping him as Tobias meets Andrei face to face. "Why did you ignore what we agreed?"

"I was protecting Maeve."

"Someone touched Maeve," mutters Jamie in explanation. "Literally just touched her face. Nothing else."

"Are you serious?" chokes out Tobias. "Maeve doesn't need you fucking things up by turning into a hero."

"I was not! I'm not in control of how I react if Maeve's in danger."

"I wasn't in danger, Andrei."

"I know," he says through gritted teeth.

Ash sinks back in his seat. "Will you lose your mind and self if the wrong person touches Maeve? Every time?"

"At least we know the shadows have an effect on me," says Andrei brightly and sits in a chair, dodging the question. "That's a good outcome."

Tobias swears beneath his breath. "This isn't a good situation, Andrei. Apart from the temper tantrum, we've left three bodies killed in a unique way, and any hemia who survived the chaos will have a pretty damn good description of you."

"Temper tantrum?" he retorts. "And I don't care. I always said I want Gabriella to know what she's dealing with."

"Oh, yeah, if she hasn't gone further underground now," says Jamie.

"The shadows are a positive aspect," I put in as animosity clouds the room. "I had control of them until Andrei hurt Jamie. That loosened my concentration and control, and the shadows attacked Andrei, not me."

"What did the shadows do to you, Andrei?" asks Tobias. "You don't appear injured."

"Stopped me." He hooks an ankle around his other knee.

"How?" asks Ash.

"I can't explain logically. Like they strangled me. Inside."

"Your mind?" I ask.

"Everything." He slants his head. "I'm not keen on repeating that experience. The shadows fucking hurt."

"Good," says Tobias but his jaw remains clenched.

Does Tobias's annoyance come from Andrei's actions or because he lost control over the situation?

"So, what now?" asks Jamie. "Did anybody at all escape?"

The witches. Coercion. Blood.I swallow. "Hemia couldn't leave the catacombs. Did the witches? The ones we spoke to didn't want to join the Dominion. They couldn't remember agreeing."

"Possibly," replies Tobias. "We don't know what happened because the three of us got out as soon as we could."

I hope the witches escaped. When Tobias told us he'd spared Natalie and Karl, I'd shared Andrei's upset that Tobias's decision could threaten us all. But meeting the four witches today, and sensing their fear and confusion shifted my perspective. If the witches did run from the catacombs, what happened to them? They'd never hide forever. Captured by Dominion troops? Or the Confederacy's?

This whole world is on fire and Andrei just stoked the flames.