Chapter 36

MAEVE

I"ve not settledsince seeing the atrocities in Tobias"s mind and his confession about Anastasia. My body courses with the anxiety and adrenaline still, despite Ash"s attempts to talk things through and take me away from the situation.

Tobias and Anastasia. Questions cycle around. Has he hidden more? Was Tobias coerced into the killings, as he told me, or not? Was he under her blood's influence, or did Tobias enjoy the relationship? I shake my head, but nothing dislodges the snapshots of the man I saw tonight.

I successfully fought the shadows by suppressing my anger. I could"ve dragged Tobias back into that club and used magic against him in a place nobody could notice, but everything turned numb. Ash makes sense if I listen with my head and not my heart. Anastasia's dead. The person who'll face my shadows isn't her or Tobias, but the other woman responsible for the massacre. Gabriella, who led the Dominion at the time.

At least Gabriella didn't know about Anastasia and Tobias, otherwise she would've used that against me, but I bet she suspected something.

Still, I can't dismiss everything Tobias told me or the scenes from Silas's mind. The shock won't wear off anytime soon, but I mean what I said to Tobias—if he runs again, I'll follow and demonstrate that if he turns away from us he'll piss me off more than his past.

I squeeze my eyes closed. Anastasia taunted me over and over, attempted to harm me and to take Tobias back. The witch would've loved if this permanently divided me and Tobias or interfered in our fight against the Dominion. That's a thought I need to hold on to.

Tobias never returned to Anastasia, but he put himself in danger by insisting he came too when Anastasia abducted me. He also never yielded to Anastasia at the Blackwood house because she had no influence over him anymore. Tobias risked even more by protecting me. Covering up Nikolai's death.

Finally telling me what I meant to him.

Realising what Tobias means to me.

I take a shaky breath. Too much to process right now.

"Don't disappear again."

I blink at Ash, who gives me a stern look as he pushes open his bedroom door. I'm about to apologise until I walk into his room and laugh instead.

"Ash. We've been here days, and you already made the room as if you've lived here weeks." I gesture at the clothes strewn on the floor, the empty mugs and plates with crumbs taking up the space on the nightstand and dresser. "You must've been a nightmare to room with at the academy."

Ash pulls a face and gathers clothes in his arms, amusing me again as he shoves them into a drawer. "Wasn't expecting a visitor."

I chuckle. "You fooled me into thinking you were a tidy person when I'd visit you at the academy. How long would you spend clearing up beforehand?"

With a growl, Ash sweeps me into an embrace and knocks my breath out as he squeezes me tight. "Stop teasing."

I push my lips against Ash"s, holding his face to mine, and I"m unprepared for the intensity that follows. Without hesitation, he roughly kisses me back, hungry and needy, nothing like the control from earlier, as he moves to hold my head to him. Ash crushes me, his muscular arm banding my waist, and the overwhelming need radiating from him pushes everything from tonight away. I grasp Ash tight, refusing to take my lips from his, as his tongue explores my mouth, his taste intoxicating me.

As I catch my breath, Ash shifts his attention to my neck, kissing and nipping my skin. My back hits the bedroom door with a hardness that forces a gasp, and I gently push at his chest. "Ash. Can you rein things in tonight?"

"Shit. Sorry." His hold on me drops and a large palm cups my cheek. "I get…yeah. You know."

Recently, sex with Ash became wilder and I love his barely controlled lust for me, happy to give myself over to him. I've a feeling of power from watching the gentle guy unleash his primal side, knowing he's holding back, and that whatever he wants, Ash never steps over a line unless I'm crystal clear that's okay.

Ash resists the dragon because he's worried that the shifter part of his nature might take control and he'll lose the ability to stop his physical actions. Times between us like this are top of his list of concerns.

"I'll calm down," he murmurs and brushes his mouth against mine.

"Not totally, I hope." I tease his lips with my tongue. "You know I love every side of you, and isn't learning more about this one fun?"

Ash runs his finger along my cheek, his concerned eyes darkening with an intent that flips my stomach, and I move my mouth to reach his again. He responds with another engulfing kiss. The intense passion overtakes, and I grip his head so he can't pull away. His hands slide up my leg, pushing beneath my skirt until Ash reaches my backside, and digs his fingers into the skin as he holds my hips against his. His arousal pushes against me, and the ache between my legs grows at his touch.

Ash turns and moments later I fall onto the bed, my hair splaying across the crumpled sheets. Ash pauses and sits back, then grabs his shirt between the shoulder blades, the powerful muscles in his arms flexing as he does. I inhale sharply as I take in the sight of him—not only the brand on his skin, but at the new scales spreading in patches across his pecs.

Sitting, I pull my top over my head, and Ash's eyes zone in to my breasts swelling against my lace bra, watching with heavy breaths as I remove that and wriggle from the skirt too. He looks down, and heat grazes my skin as he strokes my belly, teasingly playing with the edge of my underwear, soaking up the sight of me.

As he removes his jeans, the dim light from the small lamp highlights every inch of his sculpted physique, from the contours of his chest and tight abs to the powerful arms and shoulders. I barely get a chance to soak in the sight before Ash kneels on the floor. He moves his hands across my body, tracing my breasts, a rough thumb brushing my nipple. Mouth parted, breath coming quicker, Ash watches as he maps my skin with his fingertips. I tense, anticipating his touch as he traces his fingers along my belly and downwards.

"I want to taste you," he says, voice thick with lust. Hooking his thumbs into my underwear, Ash watches for my response.

I only need to say yes before Ash drags me roughly toward him by the ankles and eases the thin cotton down. He parts my legs, and kisses his way from my calf to my inner thigh. Strong hands slide beneath my ass and pull me upwards, and I jolt at the sensation as his tongue slides along me. Gripping the edge of the sheets, I bite back the groan as Ash teases me with soft strokes of his tongue, the pleasure coiling deep inside. In moments, he has me moaning and when Ash slips a finger inside, I fight against crying out. The pressure builds, and I can't decide whether to move away or give in to the inevitable. As Ash holds me to him, moving his fingers and tongue harder, I let go, arching into him, and grasping his hair as I fall apart.

Ash moves his arms either side of me, palms on the bed as he looks down, eyes brim-full of a passion to match mine. His smile grows at the panting mess he's made of me, then sits on his haunches, chest rising and falling rapidly.

"More?" he teases, voice hoarse. "Or rein things in?"

"I only meant keep control. You promised me something, remember?"

Pinioning my hands back over my head with one hand, he pushes my legs open with his knee. "So we're good?" he asks.

Reaching out, I curl my hand around his hard length inside his boxers before running fingers along him. "No, because you're not naked yet."

His darkened gaze meets mine as he fixes the problem. "Done."

"I hope not," I whisper, as I guide him towards me.

I gasp as Ash thrusts into me hard, then stops, forcing my mouth open to accept his tongue. I grip his shoulders again, fingers digging into the knotted muscle, and lock my legs around his waist, wanting him as close as possible. Ash pulls his head away and takes a deep breath. He withdraws slowly, watching my face as he runs his fingertips across my parted lips.

"You feel so fucking good," he says, voice hoarse, lust darkening his expression. The ebbing pleasure resurges, and I push against Ash's hips, matching his movements, as he rocks against me, driving us closer to what we both reach out for. Neither of us want slow or gentle, and I want the night obliterating, as our kisses and touches become harsher. Lightning trips up my spine and as the sensation explodes through every part of me, I hold on, crying out his name.

A large palm covers my mouth and I widen my eyes, suddenly aware my murmurs aren't murmurs any longer, and his lips tip into a smile. "Shush."

But I ignore him, pulling his hand away, urging him on again. Lips parted and eyes closed, Ash gathers pace, reaching for his release too, pushing his face against my shoulder as he does.

For a few moments, we don't move, wrapped in each other, hidden from the night outside Ash's door and in one of our own. Our breathing steadies, neither of us wanting to let go, and I hug him tight.

A throaty laugh sounds in my ear before Ash rests his forehead on mine. "I love you, Maeve."

I touch his cheek. "And I love you. But what's funny?"

"I also love how I make you lose control. I hope you didn't wake anyone."

My cheeks heat. "I wasn't that loud."

"Uh huh." Ash rolls from me and I rest my cheek on his hard chest as his arm wraps around, his fingers stroking my skin. "Did you forget your name? Because seems you know mine."

I groan. "Funny, Ash. And no. You totally failed to fulfil your promise."

"Then, did you forget about this evening's shitshow?" he continues.

I twist my head to look up at him. "Absolutely."

"Then I'm satisfied there was some fulfilment happening." He chuckles again and bends his neck to kiss my nose.

"I'm lucky to have you, Ash," I whisper. "I hope I make you as happy as you do me."

"I'm not interested in a life without you, Maeve." His eyes grow serious. "This Maeve. They can throw every spell they want at me, do their worst, but even if our world set on fire, I'd walk through the flames to find you. Nothing anybody can do would stop me protecting you."

"I also hope that won't be necessary," I say. "And I will always protect you too."

Ash doesn't respond, so I snuggle my head into the crook of his neck, playing my fingers across the soft gold patches on his chest.

"Is there anybody who can help with the shifting worries, Ash? Surely there must be one dragon out there who isn't an arsehole."

"Yeah. Probably. Hard to find others when I'm rare. And busy." He clamps up.

I'd suggest Ethan, but he's never shifted and when he did, the guy became a mid because he never fully returned to human again. At least Ash avoided that through his refusal to yield to the dragon when he easily could've.

"You are rare, Ash." I place my lips on his hot skin. "But not because you're a dragon."

"What does that mean?" He strokes my hair.

"Because of the man you're becoming, not the dragon. However much you joke about not knowing the ways of witches and vamps, you're caring and intuitive, and have a massive heart. That's as rare as any dragon."

Ash grips me tighter as he strokes my hair, sending a soft buzz of comfort through me. I may not have forgotten my name, but Ash reminded me that whenever this world knocks me down, I've people to hold on to. We'll hold on to each other, all of us, and focus on the future we'll create together, not the past and people wanting to pull us apart.