Chapter 23

JAMIE

I pacearound the bedroom as Maeve perches on the edge of the neatly made bed watching me, a blue cushion in her arms. I"ve succeeded in swallowing down the angry frustration that erupted downstairs, and that"s now edged away by the guilt that I"ve upset Maeve.

But she has to listen, especially now I face losing her.

Ever since Maeve and Andrei became lovers, the idea he might turn her one day constantly ate at me. She wouldn"t be Maeve anymore—not totally. Or worse, Andrei"s blood could kill her.

Andrei reassured me several times that he"s no intention of dragging Maeve into his dark world, especially as he"d do anything to leave the night and join her in the day. Now Andrei has joined her in the day, and I"ve watched and listened to whether he"ll change his mind on wanting Maeve to share his immortality.

Now this. The First insisting Andrei turn Maeve, or we"ll die.

Maeve doesn"t want immortality and loathes everything about the creature, which creates a horrific scenario. We"ve two options: we defeat the First or we all die. Cursing Maeve to a living death isn"t a third option.

But will Andrei allow us to attack the First once we figure out how? What if his tie to the First influences him? Hell, we"ve no clue if we"ve seen everything this new Andrei is yet, beyond his weird attack on Tobias. Andrei"s adamant he"d never hurt Maeve, but we can"t rely on that.

I have the solution. Everybody needs to get onboard.

"Do you understand what I"m saying?" I ask Maeve, pausing in my pacing but not looking back.

Outside, the streets cram with cars, pedestrians dodging each other and the vehicles. Busy lives. Predictable lives. I take calming breaths, but the frustration pushes behind my temples. I want a predictable, boring life; not this.

"I do understand. But your outburst doesn"t help, Jamie," she says quietly.

I turn to Maeve and move to kneel on the floor, taking her hands. Her eyes go wide at how the buzz of our magic connection is stronger than usual, my unguarded emotions and deep-seated desire to protect my bonded witch fuelling the magic.

"The answer. Use both of the families" magic: we practise the visions to see the future and learn to manipulate the shadows. Then use both against the First." I"m wary how Maeve might respond, sensing her pulse pick up. "Lex couldn"t show you how to stop the shadows, only their effect on him, and that you should resist. Maeve, they"ll always be with you. Control and use them."

Her throat bobs. "Shadows permeated the Blackwood house, and were once with me in the room Anastasia kept me in. They were part of Nikolai. There"s something wrong about whatever spell they are."

"Because they"re the only magic that can independently control a witch"s thoughts and actions. They"re not a spell." I sink back on my haunches. "Every witch knows about the shadows, but nobody understands what they are. Even the Blackwoods didn"t. What if they"re our First, Maeve? The witches" primordial power?"

"Doesn"t that make the shadows even more dangerous? One ancient power wreaking havoc is enough right now," Maeve says wryly.

"Yes, but you are a Winterfall and a Blackwood. Opposites combined. The shadows could never corrupt you like they did pure Blackwoods."

"We can"t know that for sure," she whispers.

But Maeve hesitated before she responded. Maeve"s aware I"m right. Nothing in our arsenal could beat the First apart from what we"re ignoring—everything Maeve contains.

I stand. "I"ve thought about this a lot recently. We get the First out of that body and we force the shadows to take away the spirit energy or whatever it is."

Maeve blinks. "Take the First where?"

"With them! To wherever the shadows exist. Trapped."

Maeve"s face stays pale. "You"re forgetting about Andrei, Jamie. What happens to him if we follow your crazy ideas?"

The flaw in my ambitious plan. "Maybe the shadows could remove the First from Andrei, the way Lex manipulated them to remove the curse from Tobias?"

"Um. No. He summoned the shadows to kill Tobias, and the First is more than a curse, Jamie. Much more."

"But if the shadows kill Andrei and he doesn"t permanently die because he"s still part vampire, then?—"

"Jamie!" Maeve stands and cups my cheek with one hand. "What has got into you? How can you talk about risking everything? Killing one of us?"

"Temporarily!" I protest.

"Wow." Pink dots appear on her cheeks. "Dorian, much?"

"Maeve." I take a shuddery breath. "For the first time, I"m genuinely frightened that you"ll die. Against Gabriella? I"ve no fear, because united we"ve more power than her. Against the First? That"s a whole other level, and we"re all in denial if we don"t accept that. For fuck"s sake, she"s threatened you with a living death." Maeve whispers my name again and strokes my cheek, but I forge on. "Remember what I said to you the night at Lex"s? You"re at the heart of everything I am—mind, body, and soul. I"m not saying the other guys love you less, but a witch bond goes beyond love. Our bond will push me to do anything to keep you safe and if that"s pissing people off by confronting them with the reality, I will."

"I"m frightened of magic I can"t control, Jamie."

"And the First is relying on that too. The creature must"ve encountered the shadows before. It saw you using them the night you freaked out about Andrei at the Winterfall house—and how you had no control over them. The First knows we"re doing all we can to stop you from using the shadows and won"t expect this." Maeve chews her lip. "Please, please listen to me and consider everything you"re capable of."

She sinks onto the bed again. "I agree with you."

My heart leaps. "Then you"ll do this?"

"I agree that the shadows could be the missing link to defeating the First, yes, but that involves risks to everybody."

I throw my arms up. "The First is a risk to everybody!"

"Don"t shout at me!" Maeve abruptly stands.

Magic crackles around, but the shadows spoken about don"t join us. "I love you, Maeve. I can"t live in a world where you don"t exist, or one that killed the Maeve I know and replaced her with something she"d despise."

Our chests both move rapidly and Maeve"s soft fingers rest on both my cheeks. "Nobody will die, Jamie."

I hold her face in return, the magic flooding between us in a way that hasn"t happened for a long time. The merging never felt like this when we practiced at Lex"s. Now, with our emotions running high, the conduit between us is wide open. Maeve"s mouth parts, reflecting the same surprise in her eyes at how engulfed we are.

"Look at the future," I whisper. "Tell me what"s waiting for us." Maeve gulps in breaths, her fingers digging into my cheeks as our gazes lock.

"I keep trying. The magic"s gone."

"I"ve helped your future-sight many times. Go there. Tell me what you see and then tell me you can"t use Blackwood magic."

"You speak as if you"ve seen the future," she replies hoarsely.

"I don"t need to, Maeve. I can already predict what will happen if we don"t fucking do something."

Because I can. Not literally, but I"m watching us flailing around and out of control, as an unwanted future speeds towards us. Maeve"s divination attempts fail again and again over the last few weeks, and I know partly why. Everybody"s channelling Maeve"s energy into fighting against part of herself—the Blackwood.

"Look at me," I say, harshness dropping to desperation because the only way to persuade Maeve fully is for her to see that future. "Look for Gabriella. The First. Anything. Something"s blocking the divination inside you—just try!"

The flowing magic and intensity builds, the fear I"ll lose her unleashing a wave of spell energy that hits. Maeve stumbles and grips onto my sleeves, the eyes that were fixed on mine changing as her pupils grow. However much I"ve urged Maeve into this, deliberately thrown all my magic into her body, I"m still shocked when Maeve"s pupils dilate completely, and she slackens.

But perhaps this is what Maeve needs. Not to spend time holding my hands and staring at crystals, frustrating herself when the magic stalls, but to fully open herself by giving herself over. Not trying. Not thinking. Allowing.

"Maeve?" Her body slumps into my arms, and I catch her just before she hits the floor. "Maeve?" I repeat, kneeling, holding Maeve, and staring at her vacant eyes.

Has our magic prompted something else that"s more than a vision, triggered by the intensity? Fuck. What have I done? I haven"t experienced Maeve this distant from reality since I pulled her back from the deadly Blackwood spell—the day at the academy when I knew for sure Maeve and I are witch bonded. Have I pushed too far? Is this the shadows prompted by my obsessive rant? Heart thundering, I check her hands for darkness. None. But Maeve doesn"t move and she"s growing distant.

"Guys!" I shout out. "Help me."

Andrei arrives in the room in half a second. Was he outside the door?

"What the fuck?" He throws himself to his knees and dips his head to look at Maeve"s face. "Maeve?"

"What happened?" asks Tobias from the doorway. "Did you force the shadows? Shit, Jamie!"

"No," I snap back. "Look at Maeve. No shadows."

"You think this is a vision?" asks Andrei, stroking hair from Maeve"s face.

"No. They never last longer than a minute or two," says Tobias.

But he"s wrong. I run both hands down my face. "Once, at the cottage on campus, this happened. Ask Ash. Maeve was out for maybe twenty minutes."

And took more time to recover than usual.

Tobias goes rigid. "How did I not know this?"

"Because this was before you were..." I wave a hand. "Part of us."

Andrei sits back. "I know the time you mean. A really vivid vision? Maeve told me she"d kissed me and at the time, in reality, we were definitely not friendly."

"What did Maeve see that time?" demands Tobias.

"We think she witnessed the day of the academy attack but before anything happened," says Jamie.

"And she was alright afterwards?" Tobias finally enters the room and joins us.

"She spent a few hours in the infirmary." I push at Tobias. "Don"t crowd her."

I"ve barely finished the sentence before Andrei scoops up Maeve and lies her on the bed. Tobias watches but doesn"t touch her, face colourless, eyes darting to Andrei.

"This isn"t the same situation as Andrei," I say to him. "She"ll be back soon."

"No," he says quietly. "And this will never be the same as Andrei. Maeve won"t take the First"s blood."

Andrei sits on the end of the bed and stares at the open window—at the day he"d love to step into but that he"s hidden from for now. My stomach lurches when he doesn"t respond.

Tobias chews on his lip as he watches Maeve. "Is she strong enough for the shadows, Jamie?" he whispers.

I straighten, hope rising. "Yes. With me. Us. Lex, if he agrees. Tobias, it"s the way forward."

His eyes turn to mine. "Is Maeve strong enough for this? She couldn"t control what"s happening to her now."

"The levy broke, Tobias," I say. "Maeve hasn"t managed a vision for a long time. At least now that she has, we can start to work on controlling them."

"If this is a vision," says Andrei, looking back. "What did you do to her?"

If he"d spoken in an accusatory tone, I would"ve lost my shit again, but he"s partly curious. "I told Maeve she needed to look at the future to understand why I"m right."

He snorts. "Like you haven"t tried that over and over recently?"

"Everything the argument brought up in me today intensified the magic inside and the energy between us locked into a stronger connection than we"ve had in a while."

"Something in your mind or magic triggered her," says Tobias quietly.

I take Maeve"s hand and rub the back, the world spinning. As Maeve looked at me, thoughts and images of the future I worry will happen filled my mind. Did those thoughts and worries about death and division match some of Maeve"s own and we fed off each other to trigger a vision?

Or have I finally pushed Maeve into taking control?