Chapter 15

TOBIAS

We"redue to travel to London tomorrow and as Jamie runs through arrangements, I"m distracted by other thoughts. Andrei isn"t avoiding me, but then he isn"t engaging either. I"m not pushing the issue, especially after the first day when he thought we didn"t trust him, but I"ve watched everything Andrei does for clues.

Clues to what? The First? Secret motivations? A hemia on the verge of going over the edge when in a room with a witch?

I"ve spent enough time around the people I live with that I"m always aware whose energy enters a room before I see them. Andrei"s now confuses me. We were closer recently, Andrei accepting we"ve become the family that many of us lack, and although he showed anger in the conservatory, his greatest emotion was hurt.

But Andrei"s right. If we treat him differently or with suspicion, and he struggles within himself, Andrei won"t reach out. The guy"s spent his life with people not trusting him, looking for an excuse to tear him down. He"d struggle to leave behind his need to hide and protect himself, even with his found family.

It"s imperative that I pierce Andrei"s mind and open up what exists inside now. Are there new layers of thoughts and beliefs? What does he think about the First—and do they communicate? Hairs always lift on my arms whenever that possibility walks into the room with him.

Maeve insists he"s "her" Andrei, but they"re not as close as they both want. Does he doubt her safety around him too? Andrei"s childlike excitement around his new world both baffles and amuses me, because as readily as he quips and teases, he clamps up if anybody mentions how he"s like he is.

We never leave Andrei alone, especially not at night, where our real fear that Andrei"s desire for Maeve will send him straight for her. Maeve spent last night with Ash, and Jamie told me they"re taking time together this evening. Maeve isn"t stupid—we"re obviously distracting and protecting her from a possible threat inside the house.

The greater reason I never leave Andrei alone long? I need to study him. I know the guy and his mannerisms well; I"ve faced his moods over the last couple of years, and watched when his anger flips. I"m aware when Andrei"s hurting, always have been, even though he brushes me off. I saw the mess Ravenhold made of Andrei"s mind when I collected him after his unnecessary time held there. Any longer at the place, and the Confederacy really would"ve started to mould Andrei into the shape they want. What else would they do to pull Oskar Petrescu"s rebellious grandson into line?

Now Andrei"s more than anybody realises.

Even us.

Ash and Jamie avoid prying in case they trigger something in his mind, scared the First left a time bomb, but I"ve avoided asking in case Andrei shuts down with complaints I don"t trust him. We don"t know how fragile Maeve could be around the new Andrei, which is why we resolve what we can before London. Once we arrive at the city, there"ll be more pressure on us in an unfamiliar place.

Andrei"s intensity around Maeve began months ago, the moment they spoke at the academy, something I"m well aware happened to me too, but the closer Maeve and Andrei became their energies melded in a way similar to a witch bond. Has that intensified on both sides now?

Andrei promises to hold back from Maeve without specifying what this means, but after another day watching Andrei"s unwavering gaze on Maeve, I can"t avoid the situation any longer.

I need to question him. Properly.

I"ve studied Andrei. Every change in his movement; his physique, skin, and face altered into perfection, his captivating voice, and how his emerald eyes now hold the star-like silver from the night we lost him. Sometimes, I"ve caught Andrei switched off, not engaging, alone and staring at the sky. This prompts the one worry I"m determined to resolve. Is the First inside Andrei"s head, affecting his free will now that he"s part of her? Because unless I"ve a clear answer, I"ll never trust that Maeve"s safe from Andrei.

I find Jamie in the lounge, and I sit with him to firm up more London plans. As I hoped, Andrei pokes his head around the door, holding the frame. "You seen Maeve?"

That"s the other issue. Andrei borderline freaks out if there"s any hint we don"t know where Maeve is. After the third outburst earlier, I sat Andrei down to remind him how safe the Winterfall estate is, and that Maeve needs space. His face strained at my words, and I waited for the protest that he already gave her a week"s space. But even Andrei knows how stupid that sounds.

We all need space. Which is why I"m guilty for not giving Andrei his.

"She"s with Ash," say Jamie. "Walking."

The stone-like stillness grips Andrei"s body again. "Off the estate?"

"They like to spend time in the hills. At the lakes," I say, dampening down my own preference that they stay behind the estate walls and runes. "Ash and Maeve always return happier. Energised."

Andrei chuckles. "Isn"t that your job?"

"I sometimes worry," puts in Jamie. "Ash and Ethan aren"t worried about his safety, but dragons aren"t the only ones who want him."

"Gabriella won"t take any of us again," I say softly. "That didn"t work out for her and if she drags someone back to her hiding place, we"ll follow."

Andrei huffs. "Fine. When"s Maeve home? I want to see her."

His want almost sounds like need.

"I don"t know. A few hours?" suggests Jamie.

Without replying, Andrei blinks and turns away. I exchange a look with Jamie.

"Andrei." He turns back as I speak. "Could you stay here?"

"Why?" he asks sharply.

Jamie rubs his nose as he looks between me and Andrei. I"d planned this tonight. Asked Jamie to sit with me, as much an observer of my plans as he is someone to intervene if anything untoward happens.

"There"s something I need to do," I reply. "That you need to allow me to do."

"To me?"

"Yes."

I"d expected Andrei to make a snarky comment and walk away, but he steps through the door and closes it behind him to rest against the wood. "You want to look deeper in my mind than you have so far."

"That doesn"t surprise you?" I ask.

"Come on, Tobias. I"ve felt you trying." He raises a brow. "At least you"ve asked now."

"You blocked me?"

"Do you like people looking in your mind without permission?" He slants his head. "In fact, has anybody found their way past your famously impenetrable barrier?"

"Maeve."

"Huh. And what did she see?"

What I allowed, apart from snatched memories of the Winterfalls before I slammed my mind shut. "Not much."

"Funny how you insist on looking into my mind for threats to Maeve when nobody knows what you harbour," he continues.

"I don"t harbour anything," I reply tersely.

"Uh huh."

Jamie sighs. "Andrei. We just need to know if everything is okay with you."

He doesn"t move. "If you want to check whether Maeve"s safe with me, go ahead. I don"t have the slightest desire to hurt her or any of you."

"This isn"t only abut Maeve. You"ve changed physically, so you can"t be untouched mentally too."

Drawing away from the door, Andrei sits in the seat opposite and leans forward, arms on his legs eyes fixed on mine. "You think I"ve the First in my mind, don"t you? Are you worried that I"m secretly communicating with the creature?"

Jamie is. I"m unsure. "Perhaps not deliberately."

"Go ahead," he retorts. "If you see nothing, stop policing my every move."

"I am not policing you, Andrei."

"We"re cautious, that"s all," puts in Jamie.

Scowling, Andrei gestures at himself. "Like I said, go ahead. I"ve nothing to hide."

The ease with which he agrees reassures me, but what if Andrei doesn"t know what"s inside his mind?

"Do you feel the difference?" asks Jamie. "You don"t look a hundred percent the same and there"s something… off in your energy."

"I contain a primordial creature"s blood. Maybe that"s why?" he says sarcastically, looking to Jamie before returning his scrutiny to me. "What will you do if there"s something you don"t like in my mind, Tobias? Lock me up? Attempt to kill me?"

"Don"t be absurd, Andrei."

"Yeah, because both would fail." He holds my gaze. "Just fucking look in my head if it"ll get you off my back."

The times I"ve sneakily attempted to find my way into Andrei"s head, I"ve hit a barrier similar to mine. Not the usual solid wall that repels mind reading use; something bright, as if looking into the sun, the brightness blinding. These attempts dazed me—what will penetrating Andrei"s energy do if he allows me?

"Like I said, if you don"t see anything that"s a threat, I want you to stop watching my every move around Maeve." He flicks a look at Jamie. "Both of you."

I nod, but that"s a request I can"t meet. Not yet.

As I work my way inside Andrei"s head, the blinding barricade doesn"t appear this time. Although there"s more familiar than unfamiliar, this isn"t Andrei. I"d worried I"ll find a void to match a necromancer"s construct, but Andrei"s mind"s his own. The unusual energy that Andrei radiates centres inside him, mingled with his old self, and it"s when I attempt to break through to there that I"m hit with the blinding defence.

Fuck. If I can"t touch Andrei"s mind, nobody can. Nothing could break through to take hold of and control him—not because he"s protected but because my magic couldn"t reach the place that controls his thoughts and actions.

Shit. If I can"t exert control over Andrei, we"ve no chance with the First. But did I honestly expect mind control would be a remote possibility with the creature? No.

I press deeper, dipping into gaps, reaching out to catch any glimmer of another"s influence. What would we do if the First had a hold on Andrei?

The creature"s influence is clear from the changes caused by the blood, but the First doesn"t whisper in his mind, and would mock me for my failed invasion if it were inside Andrei. The conduit I"d feared existed between Andrei and the First isn"t here.

But he"s holding back. I"m not only unable to take a hold of his mind, but his thoughts slide through my fingers like mercury running along my skin. His heart beats steadily, lulling me to pull back, but I stay as connected as possible.

"Maeve," I say. "Show me Maeve in your mind."

Andrei doesn"t respond, verbally or mentally, and the bright barrier flares.

"Andrei." I"m looking at him but through him, our minds connected but his slithering away. "Show me what you think of Maeve. Prove that she"s safe."

His voice echoes through my mind. "I can"t."

"Can"t show me?" I speak the words out loud, stomach lurching.

"I can"t think about Maeve." The barrier begins to blind. "I won"t focus on what she is."

"What"s happening?" Jamie"s voice comes from the edge of my awareness.

The same fear as the first time I saw Andrei with Maeve by the summer house washes over me. What is Andrei hiding?

"I could ask you the same thing, Tobias. Should I take a look?"

Pressure fills my head, the light from Andrei seizing hold and strangling my mind, squeezing out things locked in the depths where the desires surrounding Maeve intermingle with my past. I gasp as something tears apart my own barrier and the light becomes a solid beam that pierces and scrapes.

Voices and images flood, memories and thoughts racing through my head. I can"t catch any, but Andrei seizes them all.

The piercing pain intensifies, and I struggle to open my eyes. Jamie"s voice, more distant than usual, urging Andrei to stop. Something chokes me, and I fight to take in breaths, forcing my eyes to open.

I"m no longer seated opposite Andrei, and the choking isn"t imagined by my splintering mind. Eyes glittering with the stars bore into mine. "If you ever try any of that with Maeve, I will help her tear you to pieces."

I can"t tell Andrei I don"t understand; that I'm unaware what he saw in my head.

"Don"t force yourself too far into my mind if you don"t want me to see what"s in yours," he spits. "You"re a fucking hypocrite."

"Andrei." From the edge of my vision, Jamie reaches out to pull at Andrei but the aura that engulfs the First, that stops anybody touching her, surrounds us, a moat Jamie can"t cross.

Andrei"s breathing remains even, the touch on my neck barely there but the same as if he had me in a chokehold, blazing eyes still stabbing at my vision.

"You shouldn"t worry about what"s in my mind," he whispers. "But you should worry what I could do to yours if I wanted to."

I"m on the verge of passing out, unable to focus on where I am, ears ringing as Jamie shouts at Andrei. The pressure and burning drop away as I sink to the carpet, blinking away the black dots before my eyes.

One hand goes to my chest, the other to my forehead, and Jamie kneels in front of me. "I can"t breathe," I rasp out. "My head. Fuck."

"What the hell happened?"

Andrei"s energy leaves the room, taking most of mine with him. "I"m not sure," I say weakly.

"Did the First fight back? Is it in him?" Jamie"s voice wavers and his face loses all colour.

If I fooled myself, I could tell Jamie, yes, that the retaliation came from the First, as punishment for invading her puppet"s mind.

But Andrei isn"t the First"s puppet. There wasn"t a whisper of the creature influencing him.

"No."

"What did he say to you? I couldn"t hear."

"Neither could I," I lie.

"Then Andrei is dangerous." Jamie sits back on his haunches, and he drags fingers through his hair. "What do we do?"

Jamie. Maeve"s witch bond. How can I tell him Andrei broke through and saw the darkest part of me? That my need to prove that Andrei harboured dangerous desires for Maeve"s blood and power backfired?

"He isn"t a threat. The First left its power inside Andrei but not itself." I shuffle back to rest against the sofa. "Once he showed me the First doesn"t influence him, Andrei didn"t like me going any further."

"Further?"

"Into his mind. The heart of who he is now." I rub my neck. "I guess this new Andrei doesn"t like mind invasion."

Jamie looks between the open door and back to me. "But to attack you like that… Hell, Tobias, he threw you from that chair like you weighed nothing. If that"s what he does when someone irritates him…"

Taking shuddery breaths, I rest my head back and focus my still-misted vision. "If you leave Andrei"s mind alone and don"t antagonise him, I don"t think you need to worry, Jamie."

"And Maeve? Is she in danger? Because if Andrei attacked her like that then?—"

"The shadows?" I ask, catching the words from his thoughts.

He gestures. "What else could fight back against whatever that was?"

"Maeve won"t need the shadows against Andrei," I say quietly. "Whatever else changed, Andrei"s love for and desire to protect Maeve is unwavering."

"You saw that in his mind?" I nod. "And definitely nothing connecting his thoughts to the First?"

"They"re not mentally connected, no." I hold a hand against my forehead again, nausea growing as if the dizziness came from a bang on the head.

"I still don"t understand." Jamie rises to sit on the chair opposite the one Andrei occupied.

"He attacked me mentally as well as physically. Andrei"s unpredictable," I say finally. "His hemia temper, and the emotions he struggles with are also heightened. Everything that makes Andrei what he is still exists, but at a level I doubt he can control himself. That"s why he"s partly closed down."

And the best thing about whatever the fuck just happened? Maeve is safe. From Andrei. From me. From everybody.

Because I don"t rate the survival chances of anybody who so much as looks at Maeve the wrong way.