Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chloe

"Can I ask you a quick question?" asks Molly, one of the moms who come to collect their kiddos after practice. She's dressed in a gorgeous suit, and despite being a beautiful woman, looks like she's had a rough day.

I put my bag back on the bench and give her a warm smile, pushing down the panic that if I stay any longer, I risk running into Nikolai. Considering I've held fast to my vow to move on and quit moping after I had that wine-fueled night with Kaitlyn, I can't chance a run-in this soon.

But Molly is wringing her hands and the tug on my heart has me forgetting about Nikolai. She leans in and drops her voice. "Matthew's has been acting out recently. He'd kill me for telling you this, but he pushed another kid off the lunch table the other day and got suspended."

"Oh, no," I breathe. I saw a lot of kids with behavioral problems when I was a teacher. It almost always stemmed from an issue at home or bullying going on. But Matthew is such a nice boy, if a little quiet, from what I've seen in our practices. "What can I do?"

She glances over her shoulder and continues, seeing Matthew still putting his shoes on with another kid from practice. "Could you keep an eye on him? If he causes problems, I want to know about it as soon as possible. Single mom guilt over here. I worry I'm dropping the ball."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "I promise to keep a close eye."

Molly's shoulders drop in relief. "Thank you so much. I wasn't sure who to ask."

"This is why I started coaching, actually. I wanted to reach kids like I used to as a teacher without all the grading papers. Here's my number. You can text me anytime with concerns." We exchange numbers and then Matthew walks up to his mom, seeming to hide behind his floppy hair.

"Hey Coach. Jack keeps getting blisters. Can you see if his skates are jacked up?"

"Sure." I give Molly what I hope is an encouraging smile and head over to offer my support. By the time I restring the laces on Jack's skates, his father has arrived. I also notice Bobby hovering nearby for no apparent reason. There's a flush on Molly's face, like she noticed Bobby's attention too, but is too shy to do anything about it.

"Ready to go, Matthew?" Molly swings her keyring around and around her finger.

I look past her to see Bobby staring at her ass with the kind of appreciation little kids give a three-scoop cone of ice cream. I give him laser eyes that clearly say, stop the ogling, dumbass . He must feel it because he snaps to attention and walks off. I shake my head and say goodbye, mentally adding "check on Matthew" to my list of things to do. And having a chat with Bobby about staying away from my students' moms.

Back at home, Sushi ignores me, giving an extra shake of her tail as she swims away from me into her castle. Sassy little thing. I don't blame her though. Sometimes a girl just feels like hiding away from the world for a while.

"I'm not moping," I tell her tail defiantly as I slide into my favorite baggy sweatshirt and spandex. "I'm just getting comfortable."

The doorbell rings and I freeze. Sushi pops her head out of the castle. "What is up with people just coming over whenever they feel like it? Is this a southern thing?" I wrinkle my nose. "Florida's not really southern though, right?"

Sushi opens and closes her mouth as I exit the bedroom to answer the door. I feel like I deserve a glass of wine for not immediately thinking it might be Nikolai coming to beg for my forgiveness. My heart is finally realizing that ship has sailed.

"Chloe, darling!"

Mom stands on my doorstep, her gold sandals brighter than my porch light.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I step back and she comes in, enveloping me in a hug and kissing my cheek. Her why-spray-a-little-when-you-can-spray-a-lot perfume makes my eyes water.

"What? I can only come over when you have plants you need me to water?"

Ah, there it is. The mom guilt. "You know you're welcome any time." I sit on the couch and she joins me. She's looking like she spent the day at a tennis lesson ogling her instructor instead of playing tennis. "Cute skirt."

Mom preens. "Thank you. Jeff took me shopping yesterday. Said I have great legs and should show them off."

I think back over the long list of prior husbands and boyfriends, but can't place a Jeff. "Well, that's nice. You should always rock those legs, no matter what age."

Mom's smile fades. "Chloe, darling, what's going on?"

The question sets me on edge, but I lean back into the couch cushion like my life lately has been nothing but sunshine and roses. "What do you mean?"

She sighs, spinning to tuck a leg under her, and reaches over to squeeze my hands. "This is your mother, Chloe Cooper. Cut the bullshit."

I pull back my head. "Jeez, Mom."

She gives me a look only your own mother can pull off. It melts away all the excuses on the tip of my tongue and leaves me feeling five years old with my hand stuck in the cookie jar. I huff and accept my fate. "Fine. I fell in love with the wrong man. And now I'm getting over him and moving on with my life."

"Oh honey. If there's one woman who can understand falling in love with the wrong man, it's me. I've fallen in love with all of them." She laughs softly. "So tell me what this man has that Tanner doesn't, because that man is..." She trails off, eyes glazing over.

"Mom! Tanner is way too young for you!"

Her smile is pure feminine confidence that I can only hope to have a fraction of one day. "There's no such thing, darling." I roll my eyes, used to Mom's antics with men. She takes pity on me and moves the conversation along. "Seriously, though. Tanner is everything a woman is looking for, but he didn't do it for you. Tell me why."

My chest aches, thinking of all the reasons Nikolai is far superior. Not in looks, or manners, or even demeanor. It's all the things that matter on a deeper level. "This other man made my heart flutter with the way he looked at me so intensely. Like he wanted to hear every word I said because each word mattered. Like he'd do anything to make my life easier, even if it was an inconvenience for him." My eyes fill with tears and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "He made me feel beautiful."

Mom squeezes my hands tightly, her voice soft but firm. "Then why aren't you with him ?"

And there it is. The deep wound in my chest that I've tried to ignore. A tear slips down my cheek. "He's got a child. And a career. And an overly complicated sense of duty to...well, everyone. Those have to be his priorities. What I want doesn't matter."

"Oh, Chloe, darling, what you want always matters. And if that man has any sense in his head, he'll see that. He'll come back and put you right at the top of his priority list like you deserve."

I shake my head, thinking of Dad's sacrifice throughout my childhood. He never remarried after he and Mom divorced. Later, once I was an adult, I overheard him telling someone he'd done that on purpose. He put me first and I'd never felt so loved as I did in that moment. I was also incredibly sad for my dad. That he'd lived life alone.

Mom lets go of my hands and sinks back into the couch cushions. "Your father and I were so different. Opposites, really. It was a wonder our marriage lasted as long as it did. He was so focused and I was a scatterbrain with a thousand things going on at once." She chuckles, then sobers quickly. "He ended up alone and I ended up with a drawer full of engagement rings. I'd like to think the best route might be something in the middle."

I feign shock. "Are you suggesting moderation?"

She bats away my sarcasm. "Don't disrespect your mother, darling. I have embarrassing baby pictures that can suddenly resurface, you know. I'm being serious. Single parents aren't relegated to a life alone, you know. You can be a good parent and also be in a long-term relationship."

"Tell that to him," I shoot back. "Also, since we're having this bonding moment, I think I should tell you that Dad's in love."

Her features soften. "I'm really happy to hear that." She looks away and seems lost in thought. After a few moments, she turns back to me. "Enough about these men. How about we sit here and mope together? If my daughter's hurting, I'm hurting. Come ‘ere."

She lifts her arm and waves me in. I let myself lean her direction, tentatively resting my head on her shoulder. For a woman who cares a great deal about keeping her body fat low, she gives good cuddle. When she begins to play with my hair and tell me stories from when I was growing up, I officially give in. Apparently, there is no age limit on accepting snuggle time from your mom.

My eyelids are drooping when my phone rings. Mom leans forward, taking me with her before snatching the phone off the coffee table and handing it to me. Ayana's name lights up the screen. Putting it to my ear, I lose the sleepiness in an instant. Ayana only has a phone for emergencies.

"Chloe?" Ayana's voice comes through the phone loud and clear. Also clear? The wobble that has my insides clenching.

I jump to my feet in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"Can you come over? I'm home all alone and I'm scared."

My mind spins, even as I'm already flying to the front door where I shove my feet into the first pair of flip flops I find. What the fuck? Shouldn't Ayana be with the new nanny? And where the hell is Nikolai?

"I'm on my way, sweetheart. Stay inside and don't answer the door. I'll be there in ten." I hang up.

"Mom, I'm sorry but I've got to cut this short." The door swings shut before I even hear her answer.