Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Chloe

There's plenty of hot, single hockey players here tonight and yet not one of them makes my heart pump and my skin tingle like Nikolai. Which is unfortunate because he has some shit on his plate and has made it clear he's not going to take my bait. And yeah, I'll admit I've been baiting him. It's just so damn fun to see his jaw clench and his face turn stony even as a little bead of sweat dots his brow.

Those thick, sensuous lips of his curve upward and every molecule inside my body jumps with electricity. I feel a tug toward Nikolai. Have ever since I met him in that bar in Toronto. Something about him just calls to me and I'm done second guessing it.

"Let's take a walk on the beach, Sunshine. I've learned there's nothing a little salt and sand can't fix."

Nikolai's blue eyes practically smolder as he looks down at me. It's not a practiced look, either. He gives off the vibe that he'd snuff out that heat if he could. "I am not sure that is advisable."

I lift a bare shoulder in a shrug. "It's just a walk, Nikolai. I promise not to take advantage of you."

He growls, the rumble coming from his chest and making my breaths come quicker. "That is not what I fear. Far from it."

I tilt my head, not giving up on this tall, grumpy goalie who clearly feels so much below the surface. "I'm going to walk right over there and head for the beach. I'd hate to walk alone in the dark. Who knows what could happen to a single woman all alone on vacation?"

Without a single glance backward, I turn and walk away, making good on my promise after a pit stop at the bar, disappearing from the party and into the night. The sound of the waves draws me in, and it only takes a few more steps before I hear footfalls behind me. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay behind, not when my safety came into question. The man is disagreeable most of the time, but I'm learning he has a raging case of protectiveness toward those he cares about.

And I suddenly yearn for that protectiveness to be directed at me.

"I believe they have rules about alcohol on the beach," comes his deep voice right behind me.

I stop at the water's edge and turn to him, a challenging smile on my face. "You gonna turn me in, big guy?"

His hand darts out and cups my bare shoulder before gliding down my arm, his rough calluses sending a shiver across my skin despite the island heat. He slowly takes the bottles of beer from my hand and holds them, appearing reluctant to no longer be touching me. I'm getting the feeling he delights in touching me. Based on the way I can barely breathe, I delight in it too.

Without looking away from me, he shrugs out of his sport coat and lays it on the sand. His free hand comes up between us, palm up. I slip my hand into his and wonder how I can feel so much for a man I barely know. He gives me a tug and helps me get seated on his jacket. I tuck the skirt of my dress around my legs and reach down to take off the wedges that have done a number on my feet tonight. Nikolai sits down next to me and pops the top off one of the long neck bottles of beer in his hands, passing it to me and keeping the other for himself. I can feel the heat of him, smell the cologne and something else uniquely Nikolai.

I hold out the bottle and he clinks the necks together. "What are we toasting, short stranger?"

The grin is immediate. He remembers our conversation back in Toronto as clearly as I do. "To island getaways? To friends getting married? To alcohol being readily available?" I tilt my head and observe the tension that is still visible around his eyes. "To a redo tropical vacation next year with your daughter?"

His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them again, I know I've said the right thing. He must love his daughter very much. "To a redo," he says, clinking the necks again and taking a long pull from the bottle.

I watch his Adam's apple bob, wanting to reach out and trace the thickly muscled neck. I quickly take a sip when his gaze comes back to mine.

"Want to tell me about it?" I ask softly, thumbnail picking at the label on the bottle.

He sighs, hooking his elbows on his knees and dangling the beer between his legs. "I am in a custody battle with my ex. She pulls stunts to keep my daughter away from me and I am tired of it. My lawyer thinks we have a strong case." His gaze darts back out to the ocean. "Well, mostly a strong case."

I frown, wondering what in the world a judge would see and not approve of. Nikolai clearly cares deeply for his daughter and has all the money in the world to provide for her. "What's holding you back?"

He sighs again and I can hear the frustration in his tone. "I travel too much and I do not have a dedicated nanny to watch her when I am working. But how can I have a dedicated nanny when I never know when I will be allowed to see her?" He shakes his head, jaw locking tight. "I will simply have to give onto the paw to get a nanny to stay when there is no actual nannying to be done."

I blink a few times, trying to decipher all of that, especially the paw part. My heart aches for him. He should have the right to see his daughter regularly. Josh and I never had kids, mostly because it wasn't a priority, time got away from us, and then he got sick. But if we had, I know I wouldn't have let anything stop me from seeing them. An idea forms in my head, gaining momentum as Nikolai takes another long swig of beer. His profile is as strong as his muscles, a stoic man with a heart of gold.

I turn toward him, tucking one leg underneath me and leaning so far over my arm wedges against his. His head swivels slowly and he looks down at me. The moonlight casts half his face in shadow and yet he's still the most handsome man I've ever seen.

"My husband died last year."

"Chloe," he starts, but I interrupt him.

"No. I don't say that for sympathy. He was diagnosed a couple years before his death. Cancer. The kind that doesn't have a good chemotherapy drug yet. He fought it, even when the therapy that was supposed to save his life ended up draining the life from him. I eventually had to take a sabbatical from my job, spending every minute of the day and night caring for him. At the end there, it was like taking care of a small child. He couldn't do anything on his own."

I trail off, stuck in the memories of that difficult time. My gaze flies back to Nikolai's when he tucks a lock of hair behind my shoulder, his finger tracing the shell of my ear. My teeth snag on my bottom lip.

"You loved him greatly, yes?"

I hum a noncommittal answer. "I loved him, yes."

Nikolai's eyes narrow. "But?"

My gaze drops to the sand at our feet. I've tucked away the truth, too terrified of peoples' reactions to express it. Too terrified to say it out loud. If I keep it a simple thought in my head, maybe then it won't actually be true. But there's something in the way Nikolai blocks the wind with his big body. He seems like the type to absorb a blow and not even grunt with the effort. He seems like the sort of man to understand and accept the harsher side of life.

I lift my gaze to his and will myself to be brave. "But I wasn't in love with him, if you know what I mean." I lick my lips, feeling like I need to fully explain now that I put that out there. "We started out in love, but over time and going in different directions with our careers and interests, it turned into a friendship. I loved him and I honored our wedding vows. I believe he did the same, but by the time I realized what had happened to us, he was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't leave him then. I wouldn't do that to him. As my friend, I owed him more than that. I took care of him until the very end."

The waves lap softly onto the sand and the faint beat of the music from the wedding reception is a welcome backdrop to the silence that falls between us. I'm not sure if I'm horrified or relieved to have given voice to my thoughts about Josh. Nikolai doesn't say anything for a long while and when I can't take the silence any longer, I blurt out my idea.

"I guess what I'm getting at is that I know how to take care of another human. I can be your nanny, Nikolai."

His head whips in my direction, eyes wide, jaw clenched. "My nanny? You? Why would you offer that?"

I'm not sure if I'm hurt or indifferent to him not believing I could be his daughter's nanny. "Why not me?"

He shakes his head slowly, studying me. "You have your league. Your own life. Why help me?"

I take a chance and put my hand on his knee. His gaze drops to where I touch him, but he doesn't remove my hand. "Because I'm a daddy's girl myself and I happen to believe every girl deserves time with her father."

Nikolai makes a sound like he's choking. " Zhizn' yebet meny a," he mutters under his breath.

I don't know any Russian, but that didn't sound like a yes.