Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Cassie

“Thanks so much for coming,” I said, which was also something I’d wanted to say to Parker this morning. And last night. And… well. We’d been at it like rabbits lately. But Hummingbird wasn’t the place for those kinds of thoughts.

“Yeah, of course,” said Ellie Yung, one of the other Andrean lifestyle girls I hadn’t talked to in ages, who was here now with a little blue-and-yellow Express armband. A bunch of the other girls I hadn’t seen in forever sat over in front of the window, at the table with the Express logo and slogan on a little sign tucked into the flowerpots, armbands on all of them. “Things weren’t as fun with you on hiatus.”

I handed over her drink, the last of the massive order they’d all placed when they came in as a chattering group. “Well, leave it to the scruff-ball to inspire a little magic,” I said. “Here’s your honey mocha, Ellie.”

“Come sit with us,” she said, leaning over the counter, deep brown eyes sparkling. “At least just for a minute?”

I looked up at the table, meeting Sasha’s eyes from where she glanced over Lindsay’s shoulder at me. “Um… just for one second, I guess,” I said. “Let me tell Grant so he knows he’s alone back here.”

The table was loud with chatter once I got there, and Ellie pulled out a chair for me, but I just leaned against the table instead.

“You guys aren’t causing too much trouble, are you?” I said, and a laugh went through the crowd.

“We’d never, Cassie,” one of them said.

“I love this place, Cassie,” another said. “I can’t believe I’ve never been! Sasha finally got me to go.”

I nudged Sasha in the side. “Hey, look at you. We need to make you some kind of Express officer,” I said, even though I noticed now that I was standing over her that she didn’t have an armband on.

“Oh, no way,” she laughed, giving me what I’d realized ever since finding out this was a fake identity was her proper straight girl smile. It didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s too much pressure. I just fangirl over stuff.”

“I was kind of hoping Parker would be here, too,” Ellie said, leaning over the table and folding her arms. “Here I thought she and Cassie were two halves of a whole.”

Ah, the way it made my heart turn into paste when she said that. I had to hold it together.

I knew exactly where Parker and I stood. I liked her—really liked her. And she liked my body.

I mean, hey. It wasn’t too bad. I really liked her body, too. That first time we’d had sex, the night of the Q&A recording, I came so many times I lost count. I think it was five? I could barely move the entire next day. And the moment I was actually able to move and do things again, Parker and I got about two seconds into another episode of Anyone’s Guess before our flirting escalated into sex again.

We didn’t even pause the episode. We scattered popcorn like confetti celebrating my realization that lesbian sex was incredible, and we got halfway through the next episode too before we finally collapsed into an exhausted pile of limbs smelling like equal parts apple, pomegranate, and sweat.

But I knew we were only physical. And I knew even just having that was a small miracle. We’d never really talked about it—Parker and I had just kept on the past two weeks since then as if nothing had changed, except now we’d have sex too every time we got more than five minutes together.

It was amazing. But I couldn’t deny that I wanted more.

“I mean, we usually go everywhere together,” I said, waving her off, “but when I’m working at Hummingbird is kind of the exception. She can’t stand being in here too long. You know, she actually made me deliver reports on the machine here as a condition for moving in with her, so she didn’t have to come over here! She doesn’t like that there’s kombucha here.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, laughing. “Oh my god. Could anything be more Parker than that?”

“Guess we’ll have to stalk Cassie somewhere else,” Lindsay Huntington said with an overdramatic sigh.

Sasha was the last of the group to leave, later on, after their drinks had run out and they’d trickled out solo or in small groups down until it was only Sasha left. Once she said bye to Rashmi, who was on her phone chatting it up with her boyfriend the moment she stood up, Sasha made her way over to where I was running the midday clean cycle on the espresso machine, and she leaned across the bar towards me, the fake smile dropped.

“Everything’s been okay?” she said. I twisted the portafilter on, hitting the confirm button to start the clean cycle, and the machine sputtered and rumbled as the Cafiza-white water trickled out through the portafilter.

“Everything’s been amazing,” I said. “Express has been doing so well. I think we’ve got Gary on the back foot. We’re starting our own little revolution, so… take that.”

Sasha hung her head. “Are you trying to speak to Gary through me? I’m not a channel.”

“It was more directed at the universe.” I set the clean milk pitchers by the machine, putting the cleaning tray down on the rear counter. I leaned over the bar towards Sasha, looking around at how uncharacteristically quiet the place was right now. “Why do you look so worried?”

“You know what it’s about. You had that silly little Q&A session where Parker blurted that she was gay, just like I told you would happen.”

I pursed my lips. “It’s obviously fine, Sasha. You heard the other girls just now. They love Parker. Everyone loves Parker. I think some of them might be trying to steal her for themselves.” I stopped, clearing my throat and looking away, feeling a flush prickle over my cheeks again. “I mean… well. Not that she’s mine to begin with. I need to stop thinking things like that.”

“That’s… different,” she said. “It’s one thing when it’s just the quirky friend who turns out to be gay. But when it’s the good straight girl star of the show?”

I sighed, going back to wiping down the steam wands. “You’re moving the goalposts. It’s fine. Nobody’s given us a hard time over it.”

“I’ve seen the comments. I know people have been giving you a hard time.”

“Let them.” I focused on the steam wands, not up to meeting Sasha’s eyes right now. “It’s just a couple gross people being homophobic. Or fetishizing. Or both. All our other followers refuse to stand for that kind of thing. I’m not going to bend my whole brand just to meet the worst people around.”

“That’s your whole job, is to make room for the lowest common denominator.”

“Sasha,” I sighed, dropping the cleaning rag back into the bucket with a splash, looking up at her. “I get you’re just looking out for me, and I get why this is, like, super personal and relevant for you. But please. Just trust me and Parker, okay? We’ve got this.”

She chewed her lip, a look of distant worry on her face. “Look, I just want the best for you. And for Parker, too. I’m glad things have been okay so far. Just… be careful, all right?”

“What should I even be careful about? They already know she’s gay. I can’t… un-gay her.” I paused. “I wouldn’t want to, anyway. I like her gay.”

She gave me an odd look, tossing her hair back. “You know what I’m talking about. Be careful being too… obviously close with Parker. People are starting to speculate you’re girlfriends.”

And just like that, like it was a button you could push to do it over and over, my heart turned to putty again. I looked down, scrubbing a spot on the counter that was already clean. “That’s fine,” I mumbled. “Parker doesn’t care, and neither do I.”

That was a lie. I cared. But was it really lying if it was so obvious a corpse could see through it?

After we’d posted the Q&A recording, the comments exploded with people saying how happy they were for Parker. The number of well-meaning straight people accidentally sounding patronizing was off the charts, but Parker and I both just laughed it off.

But the one that made my head spin and my heart dance was where someone commented, Am I the only one who thinks Cassie and Parker are more than just roommates?? The pet names, the way they look at each other, the way they’re always touching…

It had come in while Parker had been away, and I’d spent a good half-hour just staring at it, watching other comments tick in replying. Some were disbelieving, and I cringed at the way people insisted I was obviously straight, but there were plenty others who agreed with the poster.

I was genuinely thinking the same thing even before this video. They really make eyes at each other.

I always thought they flirted too much lolol

I ship them, another said, with a shrug emoji at the end, and I’d slumped onto my bed staring at the ceiling after that one came in, just thinking, yeah, I ship us too.

I never brought it up to Parker, and she didn’t bring it up to me, either, which left us at a beautiful impasse of not talking about anything.

When I said beautiful, well, it was actually kind of unbearable. Especially when it cropped up again a few videos later, with someone asking if Parker and I were in a relationship, and I answered that one truthfully.

Nope! I don’t think I’m Parker’s type. Too many sparkles for her to stand.

I probably shouldn’t have answered it. Too many people replied to that one. But Parker never mentioned it, never brought it up, and it was just a steady stream of reminders that Parker may have been incredible in bed, and I may have loved every little thing we did together, but we were never going to be more than that.

“I think you should care,” Sasha said, leaning over the bar. “You’ve got an image to worry about.”

“Look… we’re not girlfriends, so there’s nothing wrong with saying we’re not. And it’s the twenty-first century. I’m not going to be smeared from being too closely associated with a lesbian.”

The doorbell jingled before Sasha could say anything else, and she sighed, pushing herself back up. “For your sake, Cassie, I really hope you’re right. I’ll be cheering for you.”

“Hey—do you want an armband?” I said, leaning over the bar after her. “We’ve got a zillion in storage. You know, always the new best time to meet a new best friend.”

She put a hand up over her shoulder, not looking back. “Sorry, Cassie. My, uh… my café’s working with Morning Magic. My manager would be pissed.”

It felt like a slap upside the head with a wet rag. “What?” I leaned over the bar after her. “Hang on. Sash. You’re with Gary?”

“I don’t like him, but the manager signed up with his guys,” she said, still not looking back at me. “Sorry. I’ll catch you around, though.”

“Sasha!” I called, but she didn’t turn back, just heading straight out the door. It took me a minute to regain my bearings, only distantly placing as Grant rang up the customer and slid a cup towards me for an order.

She worked with Morning Magic. Was she serious? Even if she didn’t directly associate with them…

It took me a second to place it, but—I wasn’t mad about her café working with Gary. Like she said, it was her manager’s decision. She’d been with that café for ages. I couldn’t have expected her to leave over their choice of espresso machine supplier.

I was mad about the fact that she’d hidden it. How long had I been their competition, and she’d never said a word? How much of her advice on Express’s personal brand had I taken without knowing?

I was left so dizzy from it, I didn’t even process that the machine had finished its clean cycle until the customer whose drink I hadn’t even started stepped up in front of me, and I did a double take when I realized I recognized that long, dark undercut, the piercings all around her exposed ear.

Tatiana Harris. Parker’s executive associate who I’d scared out of the company.

She was looking sleek today in a faux-leather jacket and crimson lipstick, and it made my stomach turn. Just the sight of her made me wonder how much things might have been simpler at Express if I’d never been a part.

“Oh,” I said, much too late after seeing her. “Hi. I am so sorry, Tatiana, I didn’t mean to space out. Give me one second to start your drink, I need to finish this clean cycle.”

“Take your time,” she said. “Sorry for my timing.”

“No, uh…” I stopped. “Wait. Why are you even in here? This place is partnered with your competition.”

She quirked a smile. “I came here for you, obviously, Cassidy.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Ew. Don’t call me that. That’s what my mom called me.”

I’d let the past tense slip. That was always a little too telling. But Tatiana didn’t seem to notice. “Look, Cassie, I know you don’t want to hear this, so I’ll make it quick. You should join Morning Magic.”

My stomach turned. It felt like I’d just eaten something awful, and I wanted it back up. “That is really sweet an offer, but, um… no.”

“I understand why you’d say that, but hear me out the full way through. You’ve been doing amazing work with Express. I’m honestly in awe at how quickly you turned their fortunes around.”

I looked down, focusing every ounce of my being into pouring the milk for her latte. “Please don’t soften me up with compliments, I’m really weak to that.”

“The point is, I think your efforts are being wasted working with Parker,” she said. “She’s the biggest company liability. She funnels this—exorbitant amount out of the company every month, into a private account, and she never once told me honestly what it was for. She always brushed it off as her little reward to herself for a job well done and that she’d use it to pick up girls, and I ignored it for the longest time, but it just got more and more the bigger the company grew.”

I didn’t need to hear this right now. It was already enough finding out Sasha had been hiding something from me. I didn’t need to find out Parker had been hiding something, too. “I don’t worry about the finances,” I mumbled. “I just handle the branding.”

“I know. And that’s exactly why Parker’s in the right place to take advantage of your work, because you don’t question what she does with it all.”

I stayed quiet, just steaming the milk, pulling two shots of espresso. They came out rich and clear, a perfectly separated shot with a deep heart and a tall crema, and I focused on nothing but the pour of the milk as I made a tulip in the cup and set it down for her. “Here’s your drink,” I said, my voice small. “Thank you for coming into Hummingbird today.”

“Thanks. It looks amazing.” She took the drink, lifting it up to her lips and taking a long, slow breath in. “Smells amazing, too. Take care, Cassie. Come see me at Market Corner tomorrow at four o’clock if you want to talk more about what’s really going on with Parker, okay? No pressure either way.”

Somehow, that no pressure left me feeling worse as she made her way back out of the shop, the bell jingling on her way back out, a sharp blast of cold air sweeping in with the door opening and fading as it swung shut.