Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Parker

Well, it was the kind of night where Port Andrea just wanted to mess you up, but I’d been in this city so long nothing could bother me anymore. It was already snowing a little when I left the apartment, and by the time I got to Sugar Kiss, all dressed up with Christmas lights, it was dumping sleet like someone had pissed off the sky. Luckily, I brought a coat with a big hood, and so did Tatiana, who met me with that I-don’t-really-care-too-much wave when we got to the glass doors of the ice cream shop.

“Hey.” She pushed through the door, holding it open for me with her elbow. “You look stressed.”

Tatiana never minced words. That, and the fact that she did her job well, were the two things I respected about her. “Looking for a roommate sucks,” I muttered.

“Have you tried looking anywhere other than the lesbian bar?”

I tugged back my hood. “And risk finding someone straight? Absolutely not.”

Tatiana was a curvy woman in her early thirties, rocking a long, jet-black undercut and piercings around the shell of her exposed ear. She gave me that tired smile she always did and said, “You know, most of the girls you find there are looking for something other than being your roommate.”

I shrugged, looking around the familiar sight of the ice cream parlor I always haunted. They managed a blend between modern décor and that outdated ice-cream-parlor aesthetic that was equal parts tacky and charming, and aside from all the cheesy Christmas decorations they had up right now, it wasn’t actually bad. The smell of vanilla ice cream flooded my senses, and I could taste the freshly-ground coffee in the air, going into their espresso machine. “I’m not opposed to that, either,” I said, turning back to Tat.

She sighed as she stomped the snow off her boots on the doormat, boots squeaking on the floor as she walked ahead. “How many times have you gone there looking for a roommate and come back with a one-night stand?”

“Do you keep count of your one-night stands?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do. Precisely zero.”

“Before you got with the secret girlfriend.”

“It was still zero. And don’t talk about Morgan out loud like that in public, you’re defeating the point of it being secret.”

“Man, are you boring. There’s no one here but us. It’s an ice cream place in December at night.” I queued up next to her at the counter. This time of night, Renee Evans had taken over her shift behind the counter, this college-age girl who looked like the poster child for the entire modern aesthetic. Her jet-black pixie cut, jet-black liquid eyeliner, and jet-black sweater under the white Sugar Kiss apron contrasted with the cherry red of her lipstick, and she rang up the customer ahead of us with a practiced airy aloofness in her expression.

“Parker, Tatiana,” Renee said, once the two of us stepped up to the counter. “Finally, someone whose taste I can trust.”

I slipped my phone from my jacket, glancing at my emails. Mostly, it was just an ingrained habit. Usually the urgent emails were about as urgent as an espresso machine saying it needed cleaning in peak busy hours. “Let me get the waffle cone in a cup with chocolate fudge and mint chip,” I said. “Machine fine?”

“Of course. I know how to maintain an espresso machine.”

“Nobody on planet earth knows how to maintain an espresso machine,” I sighed. “We just try to keep them alive as long as possible while they die slowly, like hospice care in crappy soap operas.” I paused, looking up from my phone. “Give me an espresso, too. Let me contribute to its slow and eventual demise.”

“You are so morbid sometimes,” Tat said.

We sat before long in the little corner where we had the best view of Neptune Tower on the horizon—not that I cared, but Tat loved the spiral design on its architecture, and I just thought it looked like a big pasta noodle—and Tat leaned across the table with her expression turning serious.

“Any word on the contracts?”

“Eh…” I poked at my ice cream. “I’ve got lots of words on it, but they’re all just fuck at varying volumes.”

“That bad?”

“Yeah. At this rate, I’m not going to be able to afford to pick up girls.”

“The horror.” She shifted, an uneasy look on her features. “The renegotiations are happening in three months. If we don’t do something about Gary before then, we’re fucked six ways from Sunday.”

“Don’t say it like that,” I said. “You’ll make it sound like a good thing.”

“Parker.”

“What?” I put my hands up. “Dude, I don’t know what to do. Gary’s got a whole brand behind him. And money and crap like that.”

“You think maybe you should have reinvested any of the money the business made into its branding?”

I looked away. “I was… using the money.”

“Uh-huh. To get girls?”

I would never, not on my life, admit that most of the money went to my family. None of them ever managed any sort of steady work, and with my sister only being fourteen, it wasn’t like she was able to contribute.

But I would die before I admitted I was a sap trying to take care of her family, so I just shrugged and said, “I like girls. Besides, whatever branding I would have done, it wouldn’t have been this.”

“It would have been something.”

I sighed. “Tat. You’re feeling crap.”

She pushed her cup of ice cream back, sinking back into the cherry-red vinyl and rubbing her forehead. “Right. Yeah. I know the saying.”

“Complaining about your boss isn’t gonna fix what’s already happened.”

“So what are we going to do?” she said. “We’ve already lost four cafés.”

“Well, for one, I’m going to get a roommate and save on rent.”

“If you can look somewhere other than the lesbian bar.”

“Ugh, I blame Thena for this. I should have made sure she could arrange a lease takeover before I let her out.”

“And have your previous roommate pick your new roommate for you?”

That was a good point. I had standards. Athena hadn’t. She would have picked me some obnoxious straight girl or something. I sipped my espresso, tasting the bright sweetness of the Guatemalan coffee sparkling on the front of my tongue, but I didn’t get a chance to respond before I heard the doorbell jingle. I looked over absently and nearly dropped my espresso demitasse when I saw the worst human being in the world stepping in through the doors.

“What’s wrong?” Tat said, following my gaze, and I couldn’t see her, but I could feel the way her expression dropped when she saw him too. “Oh. Shit.”

Shit was right. Specifically, I wanted him to shit out his organs and die an undignified death on the toilet in a seedy bar bathroom.

Gary Founders was the kind of guy the phrase punchable face was invented for. He just had this look like he thought he was above you, strutting in with a suit on over a graphic tee to show he didn’t take things too seriously, and dark stubble plastered badly around his pasty-white skin, hair buzzed short on top of his head. He had a girl maybe ten years younger than him, a pretty blonde thing with a curvy figure, and even though they were walking so close together he might as well have been grinding against her, I still couldn’t tell if she was his latest sidepiece or his latest brand sponsor. Plenty of pretty girls like her were both for him.

“That’s Julia Danvers,” Tat said. “She’s signing on with his brand now too?”

“You say that like I’m supposed to know the latest trendy Instagram celebrity.” I didn’t take my eye off the sleazy naked mole rat of a man. Julia’s skimpy dress and the way she kept leaning to draw attention to her cleavage made my blood pressure skyrocket, estimating the odds of her being both his latest 21-year-old plaything and a brand sponsor.

Not that I totally minded the skimpy dress. She had some nice legs. But still.

“She’s, er… something,” Tat said, and even without looking I could tell she was wrinkling her nose. “She’s one of those mindful-eating people who are trendy lately.”

“So it’s just a diet thing? Interesting person to bring into an ice cream parlor.”

“Apparently, it doesn’t matter what you eat, so long as you have a relationship with the food,” she said. “Or… something like that. She’s one of the Crystal Road people.”

I pursed my lips. Crystal Road was that artsy area full of health-food shops and little secondhand boutiques. I had a partnership with one of the cafés there, and the fact that they served kombucha meant I’d never liked it. “Tat,” I said. “I’m feeling crap right now.”

“Oh, Parker.” Tat reached across the table, putting a hand on my arm. “Please don’t pull anything.”

And I almost made the responsible decision not to, until I saw Gary sneak his hand across Julia’s back—just a quick thing he played off like he hadn’t meant to, but watching from behind, anyone with at least one remaining human faculty could tell it was deliberate. I stood up, ignoring Tat, and I shoved my hands in my pockets as I stormed towards them.

“Parker,” Tat said, standing up behind me, but by the time I was halfway across the shop, I could hear what Gary was saying, and it made things worse.

“You might have seen us on social media,” he said, leaning over the counter towards where Renee was giving him a thoroughly unimpressed look. “We bring not only the highest quality curated equipment, but also the power of a star brand behind us.”

“Excuse me,” I said, coming up behind Gary and Julia, where they both turned. Gary gave me a look like he couldn’t believe someone actually had the gall to interrupt him. “You’re Gary Founders, aren’t you?”

That changed his expression. He went right into his practiced smile, straightening his back and reaching for a handshake. “CEO of Morning Magic, Gary Founders, at your service. You must be?”

I took his hand and squeezed. He flinched, eyes going wide, but I didn’t let go. Like it was trying to break the gravity of the scene, the speakers switched to Let it Snow, an upbeat cover with jingle bells. I squeezed tighter. “I must be the one who’s pissed off you’re here in Sugar Kiss trying to steal my café partner from right under my nose. Parker Ferris, if you need a name.”

He tugged his hand back, but I didn’t let go. “Parker?” he said, furrowing his brow. “With Express Coffee Logistics?”

“Oh, flattered you’ve heard of me,” I said, squeezing tighter still. He grunted, tugging back, but I was a little stronger than I looked. “Why don’t you go take your latest Instagram celeb you’ve got grinding on your crotch and leave Sugar Kiss alone, friend?”

“Hey, look, Parker,” he said, furrowing his brow. “Why don’t we play this nicely? We don’t need to make a scene. And Express Coffee Logistics can work together just fine with Morning Magic. Port Andrea’s big enough for both of us.”

“I don’t want anything to do with your company that sounds like a shitty euphemism for waking up with a boner. Get some ice cream and go,” I said, letting go of his hand and stepping back, satisfied with how red his hand was.

“I don’t want trouble,” he said. “We’re just here to do some honest business. I didn’t realize Express was the type to muscle in and try intimidating people out of the business?”

I looked him over once, raising an eyebrow. “And I didn’t realize anyone could be that ugly. You look like a baby rat, all pink and slimy.”

Renee laughed. Julia gave me a look like I’d just up and stabbed Gary in the gut, but for his part, he just went pale.

“Like I said, why don’t you leave us alone?” I said. “Sugar Kiss and I go way back. And you’re going to bring down the curb appeal of the place if people can see your face in here. Renee, get him an orange sherbet with shortbread crumbles. Maybe the orange will correct all the blotchy pink he’s got going on. And get Julia… hell, whatever she has a relationship with, I don’t know.”

Tat’s hand on my shoulder pulled me away, and I glanced back at where she was looking ashen-faced at Gary. “I am so sorry,” she said. “Parker just meant—”

“Every word she said,” I said. “Come on, Tat, let’s go.”

I headed back for the booth and grabbed my ice cream before I left, though, because I wasn’t wasteful.