18. Spencer

Chapter 18

Spencer

I awoke to banging on the window. Squinting my tired eyes into the glare of the sun, I could tell it was late, probably early evening. Lucy and I had accidentally slept the day away. I opened my eyes to see my dad grinning at me as he tapped on the glass. He smiled hugely, gestured to Lucy, and gave me a thumbs-up.

Shit. He had known I was interested in her back in high school when I wanted to take her to prom. I had no idea what he knew about my feelings for her now. He was observant. I was pretty sure he had a running mental file of information on each of his kids. I tried to keep my feelings to myself most of the time, but not that hard. He probably knew I still had a thing for her.

“Wake up, you two! Get dressed before your brothers show up. I could see his truck parked behind him on the trail and a huge trench with snow piled high on each side. He’d obviously just finished plowing his way up here.

“Lucy, baby, wake up.” I wrapped her tight in my arms and tugged the blankets higher so she wouldn’t sit up and accidentally flash my dad.

We were both still shirtless, but thankfully, she was spread out across my chest again, and what wasn’t covered by the blankets was draped in the soft fall of her butterscotch waves.

“Spencer? What’s happening? What’s going on?” Her mouth fell open in a huge yawn. “Is it morning?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, and my dad is outside. My brothers are on the way.”

Her eyes flew open in alarm, and I pulled her close to keep her from flying out of bed. “Crap, Spencer. My boobs are out.”

“No one can see—yet. Stay still.” My eyes darted to the window. My dad had turned his back so we could get dressed.

Lucy was right before. We needed some curtains for this damn place. At least he hadn’t come barging in. That would have been awkward.

I locked eyes with her as thoughts crashed through my brain, whirling and skidding around until only one remained.

I didn’t want to leave.

She was warm and so soft; she smelled like heaven, but the bottom line is that she belonged with me. I couldn’t see any other way to live the rest of my life unless she was in it.

What was I supposed to do?

What was so certain at midnight felt different in the light of day. Had we gone too far?

I couldn’t exactly propose marriage or ask her to move in with me when we’d spent less than a week together. She would think I was out of my mind, and maybe I was—out of my mind for her . Being with her was all I could think about.

“I guess we’d better get up,” she whispered without moving.

Then she got closer, sliding off my chest to her side, tangling her legs with mine, and burying her face in the side of my neck. She shuddered against me as she drew in a slow breath.

“Yeah.” Cradling her head in my hands, I kissed her temple. “I’ll get up first and bring you your clothes.”

“Thanks.” She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face.

My heart was too big for my chest. It hurt to look at her. Not like last night when I was overwhelmed with anticipation and hope—this time, it hurt like I was losing her, which made no sense. I wasn’t losing her, was I?

I rubbed a circle over my sternum as I carefully slipped from beneath the covers and stood. The chill in the air matched the cold dread that filtered through my system at the thought of being away from her.

She watched me, eyes luminous and sad, shining in the sunlight filtering through the window.

The fire had died down as we slept, but I guess that was good since we’d be leaving soon.

I found her leggings and my hoodie on the floor and brought them to her. Each item I picked up was a reminder of how we’d stripped each other bare last night, and not just physically. I felt like we had an honest and true connection, and I couldn’t wrap my brain around how to proceed from here.

After a glance out the window, she wrapped herself in a blanket and darted to the bathroom with her clothes.

I found the jeans I’d worn the day I arrived folded neatly on one of the chairs at the table. I slipped them on, along with my T-shirt from last night, before sitting down hard and dragging a hand over my beard.

“Are you decent?” My dad shouted.

“Yeah. Come on in.”

He came through the door, heavy winter boots clomping across the hardwood and wearing his observant “dad” face as he headed in my direction and took my measure.

“You look like shit.” He pulled out a chair and sat. “What’s eating you? Did you fall in love with her? You always liked her. You know, back when you were a kid, right after your mom died, you told me you were going to marry her when you grew up. Do you remember that? She’s a sweet girl, that Lucy. Your mom liked her.”

My head snapped up. “Yeah, she is. She’s amazing. I don’t remember saying that though. Kinda wish I did.”

I could see myself saying it. She’d always been special to me.

“It was a hard time, Spence. I won’t say anything to her or your brothers, okay?” His eyes were steady on mine.

“Thanks. Uh?—”

He patted my hand, and I knew I’d be okay. “Took us forever to get up here. It’s nearly dinner time.” His eyes were shrewd on mine. "You slept all day. You two have a late night?”

He was prodding without being pushy. He was good at making observations that would open up an entire conversation. But I couldn’t answer him when Lucy and I were still new, and there was so much still left up in the air between us.

“No, um, we, I mean it was New Year’s Eve so…”

With perfect timing, my oldest brother, Hunter, popped his head through the door. “Hey,” he greeted me. “Brody is driving your truck to the shop. We got it up and running. Deacon has Lucy’s car on the flatbed, it was a bitch to dig it out, but we got it. Later, Spence. Say hi to Lucy for me.” He added with a teasing smirk.

“Thanks.” He wasn’t being a dick. He and I could have an entire conversation without uttering a sound. He was curious and would be happy for me if I ended up with Lucy.

“Ignore him. Your brothers have been taking bets about what went on while you were here?—”

Immediately, I went from being thankful to pissed. “What the hell? Bets? I won’t stand for any shit talk or gossip about Lucy?—”

He placed a hand on my arm. “Hold your horses. They know about your thing for her. We all do, Spencer. They’re not spreading shit around town or being disrespectful; you know better than that. It was all in good fun and nothing inappropriate. You know I don’t allow that kind of shit. Come on now.”

Feeling sheepish and also like I’d just laid all my cards on the table. I backed off. “I overreacted. I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows shot up as he tilted his head to watch me. “That reaction was telling, though. Protective.” He smiled approvingly.

“Was it?” I hedged. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. I mean, okay, I do, but I don’t know what to do about it.”

His eyes darted toward the bathroom. The water was running, so she must have been washing her face or brushing her teeth. Something was making her take forever, which was good. I needed a minute to gather my thoughts and hear what my father had to say.

“Get her number, son.” He tapped the table decisively. “Ask her out.”

“That sounds so simple. Ask her on a date.” I huffed a laugh. “But how can I do that when everything that happened here is the opposite of simple? We have real feelings for each other, way more than first date stuff.”

“Easy. When you leave, you’ll be starting over. Just not at the beginning, you get me?” He sat back, crossing his arms over his chest with a satisfied smirk.

“How does that make no sense and describe exactly what this feels like all at the same time?”

His lips tipped up in a wry smile. “It’s kind of like life, isn’t it? It’s impossible to figure out, and you’re always starting over because of some bullshit or another. It’s frustrating if you think about it too much.”

“Hell yeah, it is. Frustrating is definitely the right word. How is everything in town? I should have asked about that first. Is Larry okay?”

“Everything is fine now. Same old, same old. Hunker down and then clean it all up. Nothing out of the ordinary other than the number of trees that fell up here. They’re cleared away now. Larry is fine; you’ll have a hell of a time getting him away from Tucker’s kids, though.”

I shook my head with a chuckle. “Tuck can get his own dog for the kids.”

“I was mostly joking. They know Larry is your baby.”

The water shut off in the bathroom, and my eyes fell closed as I tried to come to grips with everything that had happened between Lucy and me.

“Hey, you know what to do, okay?” He patted my arm before sliding his chair out from the table. “I’ll go wait in the truck. Get your girl.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

He flicked two fingers out in a wave. “Always.”

I watched him walk out, greeting Lucy on his way out the door.

“Where is he going?” she asked.

An odd sense of formality hovered in the air between us—an uncertainty I did not like. I wanted to kiss her, slide my hands into her hair, and make all this doubt disappear. But should I?

“He’s going to wait in the truck.”

“Oh, alright.” She stood next to the chair we had used last night—an odd symbol of how far we’d gone while staying in the same place. Would what we found together work in the real world? “I know we said this wouldn’t end but, Spencer, I don’t know what to say?—”

She had changed into the clothes she wore when we got here.

Seeing her dressed like that made this moment feel bizarre and full-circle, as if we’d lived a lifetime in a few days.

Just like my dad said, we had to start over.

She blushed softly as her hands drifted across the back of the chair.

“We need a plan,” I blurted. “I have to have a guarantee that I’m going to see you again.”

Her whole body seemed to sigh with relief, and she let out a little laugh as she crossed the room and settled into the chair across from mine at the table. I smiled, knowing she wanted to discuss when we would next see each other as much as I did.

She reached for my hand and I took it, raising it to my lips to kiss the back.

“Maybe we can meet in town for dinner—?” Her gaze was direct. She was earnest and forthright and so fucking beautiful.

How had I kept her at arm’s length all these years? Why was I ready now and not then? Timing and opportunity had forced my hand and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I didn’t have to say a word, and my dad had read me like a damn book. He knew what happened here.

My heart raced; I didn’t want to mess this up.

Whatever part of my heart that had always been hers burst apart, filling the rest with clarity. We belonged together. This was right.

A restless need built in my system, pricking beneath my skin until I was laser-focused on one thing.

Grabbing her chair, I pulled it close, then cupped her chin to kiss her. Her lips were warm and sweet, but now there was an intimacy there. Our chemistry had shifted, and I would not let it shift back. I was determined to keep her in my life.

“I need your number.” I whispered against her lips.

“But I?—”

I cut her off, pulling away only enough to see her eyes. “A date, Lucy. Friday. Six o’clock. All you have to do is answer the door when I knock and let me take care of you.”

“That’s it? Just answer the door?” Her lips twitched, and I kissed her. “I can do that. I’ll let you in on a little secret, Spencer. Almost every woman dreams of being swept off her feet from time to time.”

I wanted to kiss her again and never stop.

I wished we could get back into that chair and finish what we’d started last night, but I held myself back. This woman deserved the world, and I would be the man who gave it to her.

“Good girl.” A grin slid across my face as her lush lower lip slid between her teeth. “No driving down the mountain. No meeting for tacos. Just me showing you how you deserve to be treated. I’ll take care of everything. Now, what’s your number?”

She stilled for a moment with her eyes on mine, hot and full of promises. “I was going to say—you can absolutely have my number, Spencer—I need something to write it down on. Is your phone dead? Mine is, and I haven’t seen any paper around here. Or a pen?—”

“I won’t forget your number, sweetheart. When I want something, I remember it.”

Her head dropped, and she rested her forehead on my chin. “So you’re not only romantic but hot as hell, too?” She looked up, smiling at me as she gave me her number. “How did I get so lucky?

“I’m the lucky one in this scenario, Lucy.”

“I don’t know how I feel about leaving this place. Why can’t we stay here? I know it’s silly, but I?—”

“Shh, I know.” I pulled her into my lap and hugged her tightly, burying my face in that sweet spot where her neck met her shoulder so I could breathe her in. I needed another hit. “We’ll be okay. I’ll call you tonight before bed, I promise.”

She was uncertain, and I couldn’t blame her. This thing between us had come on fast, and it scared me a little bit too.

I sighed into her hair, ruffling the waves. My chest felt heavy with a strange combination of expectation and worry. Like I was on the precipice of something big and had to let it go to keep her close.