Chapter 1

Chapter

One

Olivia

I had to admit, as I scrubbed the remnants of mashed potatoes from a plate, that this was shaping up to be my favorite post-Christmas cleanup ever. Not that I had a ton of experience with holiday aftermaths—usually I was nursing a hangover and binge-watching Hallmark movies in my pajamas. But here I was, elbow-deep in suds, surrounded by a motley crew of drag queens, my best friend, and her alien fiancé.

"Darling, you missed a spot," Carl, aka Sandy Claus, crooned, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at a gravy stain.

I rolled my eyes but attacked the plate with renewed vigor. "If you're so concerned about the dishes, why don't you put those jazz hands to work?"

"And ruin this magnificent manicure? I think not," he scoffed, holding up his glittery, red nails for inspection.

From the kitchen counter, where she was packing up enough leftovers to feed an army (or at least a small drag queen militia), Ida Slapter chimed in, "Leave her alone, Sandy. She's doing the Lord's work. Or should I say, the Queen's work?"

A chorus of "Amen, sister!" echoed through Sandy’s apartment, followed by the dulcet tones of Ethel Merman belting out "We Need a Little Christmas." For the hundredth time that day, I was glad I’d spent Christmas Day with my best friend and not my own uptight family that believed in tasteful holidays where the music was low, the food was minimalist, and the conversation was muted.

Even though my parents lived in Manhattan, I didn’t spend much time with them, especially since I’d failed miserably to marry an upwardly mobile man and start hosting my own Upper East Side gatherings for boring, Botoxed ladies. The fact that I worked at a store as chic as Saks Fifth Avenue didn’t matter. Working was for those who didn’t have the talent to land a rich husband. I was supposed to be wearing Gucci and Prada, not selling it.

I brushed aside these thoughts as Ida gave my hip a bump as she passed behind me. I’d chosen my life because I didn’t want to be like my mother, and today was a wonderful reminder that I’d succeeded.

I passed a now-spotless plate to my best friend Caroline, who was on drying duty. She gave me a grateful smile, her green eyes twinkling with happiness. Leave it to my best friend to find true love with an alien prince in the span of a week. If I weren't so genuinely thrilled for her, I might have been a teensy bit jealous.

Not that I wanted a fiancé. As much as I liked dating, I had no intention of settling down. I’d seen how being married had drained the life from my mother and every one of her wealthy, bored friends. No, thank you. But I wouldn’t mind dating a hot, blue alien for a bit of fun.

"So, Griff," I said, turning to the towering blue hunk of alien perfection who was standing on the other side of Caroline, replacing the clean dishes high in the cabinets. “Tell me more about this cousin of yours.”

Griff's brow furrowed. “Ruune is not a serious male. If he is truly coming to Earth, he is coming to sample the native females, not find a mate.”

I nearly dropped the serving spoon I was washing. "Sample the females? What are we, a cheese platter?"

Caroline laughed nervously. "I'm sure Griff doesn't mean it like that."

"Oh, but he does," Griff said, his frown deepening to a scowl. "Ruune has always been fond of females, but he has no intention to pick one, and since he is not high up in the order of succession, he does not need to worry about such a thing. He is what humans call a ladies’ man, I believe.”

Rhoda Dendron, resplendent in her red-and-white-striped dress, perked up at this. "A ladies' man, you say? Now that sounds like my kind of alien."

"Down, girl," Ida laughed, swatting Rhoda with a dish towel. "Let the poor guy at least land on the planet before you pounce."

I couldn't help but be intrigued. “So, he’s a player?” At least he wasn’t hunting for a suitable mate like Griff had been. As much fun as it had been to try to match him with the perfect human— who’d ended up being Caroline—I wasn’t sure I was ready to do all that again.

Griff shifted uncomfortably. "Ruune is all about having fun, so if that is what a player is, that is Ruune.”

"Perfect," I said, a grin spreading across my face. "Guys who are afraid of commitment are just my type."

Caroline shot me a look that was equal parts exasperation and concern. "Liv, please tell me you're joking."

I shrugged, turning back to the sink. "What? A girl can't have a little fun with a hot alien? It's not like I'm looking to settle down and pop out little blue babies."

"Ooh, can you imagine?" Carl squealed. "Little blue babies who are half human!”

The kitchen erupted into a heated debate about who would get to babysit the hypothetical alien offspring, with Rhoda insisting she'd be the best drag mother this side of the galaxy.

"Ladies, ladies," Ida called out, trying to restore order. "Let's focus on the task at hand. Namely, who's going to keep this new Valorian hottie entertained, while our lovebirds Caroline and Griff are getting ready to travel to another planet?"

I couldn't help but laugh as the queens began to argue over who would be the best tour guide for Ruune. Rhoda insisted her knowledge of New York's hottest clubs made her the obvious choice, while Carl argued that he knew all the best coffeeshops in the city.

"Now, now.” I held up my hands. "As the only actual single woman here, I think it's my duty to make sure this alien doesn't end up on stage with Ida and Rhoda. No offense, ladies."

"None taken, sugar," Ida winked. "But don't think we won't be keeping an eye on you two."

I leaned into Caroline and dropped my voice. “Don't worry, Car. I promise I have no intention of falling for a player, even if he turns out to be as tall, blue, and handsome as your hottie.”

Caroline sighed, setting down the plate she'd been drying. "That's what worries me, Liv. Don’t you think it’s time you start thinking about doing more than swiping right for the night?”

I flicked some soap suds at her. “Are you saying there’s something wrong with a single twenty-something having fun?”

“You know I’m not,” Caroline said, her cheeks flushing.

“I’m only teasing you, but don’t worry about me. I know what I’m doing, and I can handle myself around a playboy alien."

Griff cleared his throat, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I feel I should warn you, Olivia. Ruune can be quite charming when it comes to females."

I choked back a half snort, half laugh. "Trust me, big guy. I've dealt with plenty of charmers. Your cousin will be nothing new.”

As if on cue, Ethel Merman's voice rose to a crescendo, belting out, "For I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older...”

"Oh, hush, Ethel," I muttered, plunging my hands back into the soapy water. "No one's getting sadder or older on my watch."

The kitchen returned to the comfortable rhythm of washing, drying, and packing up leftovers. As I scrubbed away at a particularly stubborn cranberry sauce stain, I couldn't help but wonder about this mysterious Ruune. A part of me—a very small, very quiet part that I tried desperately to ignore—whispered that maybe, just maybe, this could be interesting. Caroline was right that I’d gotten into a rut of fun first dates that never went anywhere.

But no. I shook my head. I was Olivia, queen of casual dating and mistress of keeping things light. And if Ruune was the player he sounded like, he wasn’t interested in doing more than going through as many women as possible.

"Earth to Liv," Caroline's voice broke through my thoughts. "You've been washing that same fork for five minutes."

I blinked, looking down at the sparkling-clean utensil in my hand. "Oh, right. Sorry, just got lost in thought."

“Worried about your mother’s New Year’s Eve party this year?”

I groaned. I hadn’t been, but I was now. “I can’t believe you reminded me of that. I thought we had a rule not to discuss it until after Christmas.”

“Sorry.” She took the fork from me. “I know it stresses you out every year, and this year I won’t be at work to talk you off the ledge and help you pick the perfect ‘do not come hither’ dress.”

“Maybe this year I’ll skip it entirely.”

She gave me a side-eyed glance. “You tried that once, and your mother made your life miserable that year until July.”

I remembered that year and the passive-aggressive calls I’d received from my father until I’d apologized for “making my mother look bad” in front of all her friends. If you asked me, I should have been the one getting the apology since, every year, she used the party as a way to foist some incredibly eligible and eye-wateringly boring man on me. Even if I brought a date, my mother managed to distract him and corner me. It was a recurring nightmare I never seemed able to escape.

“I’m not going to worry about that until later. But what are you two lovebirds doing for your first New Year's Eve together?”

Griff and Caroline exchanged a look that was so sickeningly sweet I almost gagged. "We're having a quiet night in," Caroline said. "One of our last peaceful evenings before we head to Valoria."

One year I’d dragged Caroline with me to my mother’s New Year’s Eve bash, but that had been enough to make her stay in for every single New Year’s Eve since. Not that I blamed her. My mother hadn’t approved of my best friend being a co-worker who didn’t come from money.

”Boring," I sang, flicking more soap suds at her. "You're in New York City! Griff should see the ball drop at least once before he leaves.”

"And miss the chance to spend a night alone with my mate?" Griff rumbled, pulling Caroline close. "I think not."

I pretended to gag, which sent the drag queens into fits of giggles. “Fine, you two can be disgustingly in love. What are the rest of you girls doing?”

“We host a big party at The Queen Bee.” Ida pulled the tablecloth off the bare table with the flourish of a matador. “You’re all invited.”

I’d much rather spend the evening with my new friends than with my mother’s old ones. Maybe this year I could successfully slip out early. “I’ll try to swing by.”

Rhoda clapped. “You won’t regret it, hon.”

Too late. I was already regretting New Year’s Eve—as usual.