8. Brady

"I wantyou to know how important it is to me that you agreed to be my groomsman and were here this weekend," Blake said, already a little tipsy. They had the private room of an upscale restaurant to themselves, and every brunch food imaginable was mounded across an impressive buffet. And, of course, a Caesar bar with all the toppings. Blake had pulled him aside, and Brady realized how little he had talked to Blake all week. If he had known how little Blake time he would get before he'd come, would he have reconsidered being here? Now, all he had was happiness for his friend.

And for himself. He got a BJ first thing in the morning, which was uncommon for him.

"You're one of my favorite people in the entire world. I couldn't have imagined yesterday without you. And it looked like you and Cole became friends?" He did a little eyebrow wiggle that betrayed how little control he had over those particular muscles.

"Yeah. Cole is awesome," Brady said. He wasn't ready to come out to his friend yet, even with what he'd surely seen the night before. Brady and Cole weren't being subtle. Maybe he would have his shit together by the start of camp, but he wanted to sort out the feelings he had about his sexuality from the feelings he had for Blake. He could admit that Matthew had been right all along, even if Brady didn't fully understand how he was feeling himself.

Blake pulled him into a big hug, navigating around Brady's overflowing buffet plate. Blake was an excellent hugger, and Brady let himself enjoy it without jealousy or sour feelings. There was a new lightness to this relationship between the two of them, and Brady hoped it would help deepen their friendship. And if he was lucky, maybe he could even earn back Matthew's trust. The best gift you could give someone you loved was to get along with their partner. And now Blake and Matthew were married forever.

"I love you, man," Blake said, giving his cheek a friendly pat.

"Love you, too. If we don't get a chance to talk before you and Matthew leave, have a great time in Greece."

Blake checked his watch. "Tee minus twenty-seven hours."

"Alright now, get back to your man," Brady said, bumping his shoulder against Blake's as he turned toward the table Cole was sitting at. For the first time in a long time, Brady didn't feel Matthew's laser gaze on the two of them. He was chatting with Nina. It was past time to graduate from needing a babysitter around Blake.

"You too," Blake said, eyes sliding past Brady to Cole. He was teasing him a bit, and well, maybe he wouldn't need to worry about coming out. Maybe you didn't need to come out to some people because it was obvious.

"Still feeling okay about that?" Cole asked when he claimed his seat next to him.

"I feel great about it," Brady said truthfully. Even if, in an alternate universe, Brady and Blake had been single at the same time, and Brady knew he was queer, they wouldn't have been a good match. Blake was maybe too sweet for him. Blake would lie down in a mud puddle so Matthew wouldn't dirty his boots, and Brady loved that about him. He had a good heart and was kind to those around him. But Brady needed someone with a little more edge. Someone who could keep him in line.

"No drink?" Cole asked. His own Caesar had a pile of toppings on it, in a comical, nearly American kind of way.

"Gotta drive you home," Brady said. He wasn't ready to drop Cole off yet. Plus, as an American, he'd yet to acquire a taste for Caesars.

They hung around for another two hours, lingering as Matthew and Blake basked in the freshly married glow. The brunch was open to everyone who'd come to their small wedding, so the room they were in was busy with people reliving the night before and catching up with each other if they hadn't had time to in the hustle of the previous day.

By the time they made it to Cole's apartment building, it was nearly three.

Instead of dropping him off at the front door, Brady parked. He took a breath, trying to get up the courage to at least kiss him goodbye, but Cole beat him to it, his hand on Brady's arm. Sparks, as always.

"Come up. Hang out a little." Cole had this confidence in himself, this certainty, that Brady had only ever felt on the ice. Never around someone he wanted to kiss.

"Yeah, okay," he said, putting his car into Park and pocketing his key. He grabbed Cole's bag from the back seat and didn't let him take it from him. Brady wanted to carry it. He was having big feelings, but until he had some time to sort them out, he was going to keep his actions small.

Cole's apartment was a studio. It made Brady's messy apartment feel like a waste of space.

"Nothing fancy here, but I can make you something to eat."

"I am so full of breakfast food."

"But I bet you could go for a snack."

Brady was a hockey player. He could always go for a snack. "I'm convinced."

Cole got him a drink, and Brady sat in his small kitchen nook as he pulled out a blender.

"Oh my god. I have never pulled out an appliance for a snack before."

"I have all the stuff for salsa. I swear it's easy."

Cole made it look easy. When Brady had to cook something, he spent so much time thinking through the things he needed. Space, ingredients, tools, time. Cole had all of his ingredients rough chopped and in the blender before Brady would have even touched knife to veggie.

Time passed like a liquid, gone before he realized, the night sky getting dark. They snacked their way through the evening, sharing Cole's small but comfortable couch and flipping channels on the TV as they chatted through most of what they watched.

Finally, Cole sighed.

"When do you have to go back to Minnesota?"

"Flight leaves tomorrow around noon."

"That's so soon." He was pressed against Brady, their feet up on the coffee table. Brady was getting used to the way Cole fit against him, and now he had to go home.

"Maybe I should push it out. Shit is weird at home right now."

"What's up with your brother?"

"The MIA one is in Arizona with my parents. Their RV is parked down there, at least at the moment. Oldest brother is fine. Feels a little guilty. Unofficial brother feels like garbage. My sister is about to leave for her senior year though, and I want to spend as much time with her as she'll let me. She's the closest in age to me. Also a goalie."

"Are you all goalies?"

"Well, Quinn doesn't play hockey. But the rest of us are. It's what happens when two goalies fall in love and have kids. They produce baby goalies."

"That sounds adorable."

"It was expensive as fuck. I don't know how they did it."

"And then you're coming back?"

The hope in Cole's voice echoed Brady's butterflies.

"In two and a half weeks, yeah."

"Will I see you in two and a half weeks?"

Cole wanted to see him again? "You witnessed the most emotionally embarrassing moment of my life, except for that one time in Bantam when I cried during a shootout."

"I like humans with emotions."

"I figured out I like guys about twenty seconds ago."

"And I don't have a problem with that."

"I'm only a backup goalie."

"You are a whole person." Brady didn't feel like a whole person. He felt like someone who worked so hard every day to achieve a goal that he probably wouldn't achieve for years. Someday, he would be a starter, but not this season. The focus hockey took didn't leave him much left over. Cole didn't treat him like leftovers.

"You really want to see me again after this?"

"Yeah. And until you come back, I also want to send you dumb memes throughout the day. Maybe send you a good morning text or two."

Brady spent the last year and a half sabotaging every relationship he tried to be in, and he never understood why. He got it now. He wasn't at the finish line when it came to Knowing Himself, but he was at least running the race now.

"Yeah, I'd really like that."

"Good," Cole said. He climbed into Brady's lap to kiss him, and as the night got later and later, Brady closed his eyes to the clock's steady progression. Eventually, it was so late it would make no sense to go home.

He got tucked into Cole's bed in his underwear as Cole turned lights off and drew the curtains. Light from the city still made its way into Cole's little apartment, little slivers of it lighting up Cole's angular face. He was so beautiful that Brady wanted to paint him. Or maybe he wanted to buy a painting of him—who was he kidding?

"I gotta get up early," Brady said through a yawn, welcoming Cole easily into his arms. He was sated after the blowjob Cole gave him and hoped Cole felt the same. His bed was warm, but the AC was blasting. Brady hoped it meant a night full of cuddles.