18. Mark

18

MARK

I am about to lose my ever loving mind.

But I can’t, I’m basically not allowed to because when shit gets like this, I’m the one who has to keep everyone from imploding.

Does anyone say that I’m not allowed to lose my shit or freak out the way they do? No, they never have and I know they never will, but I’m the oldest, and I’ve always taken that on myself.

Granted, I’m only few months older than Pete, and I usually keep things light with stupid jokes or some sort of elaborate narrative, it also takes quite a bit to piss me off or even upset me, but right now I’m the voice of fucking reason.

Normally, Lucky plays this part.

It’s not an act, he’s the most rational as well as the most balanced—and quirky— of the five of us, except when it comes to Leonor.

If I’m being honest, we all get pretty unhinged when it comes to her, it’s how Pete, Norm, and I ended up doing time, so to say that she’s Luck’s Achilles heal when we’re all guilty of flying off the handle over her isn’t fair. But the last few years have shown me a lot, and I’d like to think I shed some of that goofball vibe I’ve given off for so long.

My grandma would say I’ve matured , that I grew up after shit went south and I’ve continued to do so ever since we almost split over the trauma. I’m not sure that’s how I’d describe it but experiencing death the way we did definitely whipped me into shape.

While none of us need to say it, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who kept the four of us together while we sat around going crazy waiting for our girl to come back to us.

Kind of like right now .

I’m keeping a level head, trying to reassure the guys that Leo is just running behind, that she most likely let her phone die as usual, and there isn’t anything to worry about. Meanwhile, Lucky is climbing the goddamn walls, I don’t think Pete has blinked in forty five minutes, and one wrong word will have Norman on the verge of tears.

He’s a scrappy little thing with a hot temper, but we don’t call Norm our sweet boy for nothing.

“I’m calling Franc,” Luck says as he unlocks his phone for the hundredth time. “Leo said she was leaving an hour ago, she should be here by now.”

“Mark?” Norm looks at me with those big blue-green eyes, worrying his bottom lip as he wrings his hands. “You think we should call Franc?”

Yes . “Everything is fine. We all know how Leonor can be. She never has her phone charged, and she’s fucking terrible about keeping time. She’ll be here, and Francesco will only make things worse.”

I reach across the island and take Lucky’s phone from him, clearing out of what I thought was his brother’s contact only to find he’s searching for the number to the National Guard. “Really?”

“Franc didn’t answer my text.” He shrugs before he starts pacing again.

If I didn’t love these assholes as much as I do, I would have gotten tired of their shit the second we met in middle school. Goofball or not, they’re hard for even me to handle at times. But I do love them, and put up with them I shall.

“This isn’t a matter of national security.”

Lucky points a tattooed finger at me while he wears a path on the wood floor. “ Yet . If Leonor isn’t here in the next ten minutes, I’m looking up the local FBI office.”

Instead of responding, I roll my eyes and rub a hand over my skull trim then force myself not to play with my beard.

It’s my nervous tell and we all know that, so if I start doing it now, all hell will break loose right here in our girl’s loft.

The only reason I’m not wigging out like they are is the fact that I genuinely think Leo is on her way. My gut is telling me she’s coming home, the same way my gut told me three years ago that she wasn’t. I trust my fucking gut because it brought me to these four. It’s never been wrong.

About two minutes after Lucky went backstage to find her, I got hit with this awful wave of anxiety—that I never have—then the sense of doom set in, and that’s when I dragged Pete and Norm down the hall to check on things after our anniversary show.

Did I think we’d be walking into a bloodbath? Nope. Same as I didn’t think I was about to commit murder—technically manslaughter—with two of my best friends but all that shit happened and if I had anymore growing up to do, it happened real fucking quick.

“I don’t like this,” Pete grunts as he crosses his arms over his chest, staring holes in Leo’s front door like he has been since we realized she was late.

None of us fucking like this.

Getting her back was something we didn’t think would happen but hoped for all the same, so having her running behind and not answering her phone is fucking torture. We’re all saps when it comes to her, wrapped around her little tattooed finger, and even though the dynamic changed for a couple of us, Leo is the heart of our family.

And she’s owned all four of ours for thirteen goddamn years.

A gentle hand on my shoulder has me turning from the island to meet those fearful teal eyes again.

“Mark,” Norm whispers before looking between me and the boys. “You’re really not worried?”

I blow out a breath and shake my head as I lift my hand, grabbing the side of his neck to help ground him. “I’m always worried about Leonor. She’s a wildcard and we all know that, but I know she’s coming home tonight. I can feel it, and?—“

“You’re never wrong.” Norman gives me a soft smile. “I know, I just…” He looks at Lucky and Pete again before hitting me with a look I’ve only seen on his face twice before. “We won’t just be losing Leo, and I’m not sure I can go through that again.”

He’s serious, I know that.

Norman had the hardest time when we were locked up. His insecurities ran rampant, his depression went into overdrive, and it sure as fuck didn’t help that it took Franc forever to pull his strings and put the three of us together. Norm got jumped multiple times, he was assaulted, probably more than he shared with us, and every phone call with Justine broke his tender heart. He barely survived his thirteen months and as soon as Norman got out, he tried to kill himself. The only reason he’s here now is because he was staying with his parents and his dad found him.

Norm moved in with Lucky after that, and he stayed until Pete and I got out a few months later, then he moved into my grandma’s house with me.

He didn’t try that again, but I know he’s serious when says he couldn’t go through anything remotely similar to what we went through before.

Which is also why we decided to have this little intervention with Leonor tonight, because the shit she’s hiding feels way too much like some sick deja vu.

“We are forever, Norm.” More than he knows. “ Lucky has always said that, and we’ve all believed it. If I thought for one second?—“

The front door swings open, my head spinning on my neck toward the sound and the second Leo comes limping into the living room, all hell finally breaks loose.

Pete grabs her as soon as she drops her bag, Lucky races to slam and lock the door before he’s practically up her ass, Norm hollers about ice and the first aid kit, and my cool, calm and collected ass is launching over the island and the couch before I land and help Pete get her situated.

“I’m fine,” Leo grumbles as Luck and I each take a boot and start unlacing. “This is excessive.”

“Where the hell have you been?” Pete growls, plucking straw or something from her hair.

He frowns as he pulls more out of her bun, his citrine eyes locking with mine before I really start looking her over.

Leonor has scratches on her face and arms, and her tank top is more trashed than it probably was when she left. My stare moves over her body, analyzing every inch and when I notice how dirty her hands are, I let go of her boot and turn one over to reveal a scraped palm.

What the fuck happened?

Lucky is barking all kinds of shit so I doubt she’d hear me if I asked, but I can feel her staring at me. And like always, Leo basically reads my mind.

“I fell.”

I nod as I notice tears in the knees of her leggings, prodding a little to see the delicate fair skin underneath is scraped too.

She fell hard judging by the look of her, and it wasn’t inside that haunted mansion she still insists on going to.

“I was outside, looking for Dirt Sack Danny.”

Lifting my head briefly, I find Leonor still staring at me, completely ignoring the way Pete is picking shit out of her hair while he bitches. She’s not paying any attention to Norm while he takes care of the scratches on her face, or Lucky while he rips the hole in her left knee wide open and starts to panic over her injuries. No, my sugar is still staring right at me, watching as I slowly finish unlacing and removing her left boot to find a swollen ankle.

If I were anyone else, I’d think there was something more in that look on her pretty face.

There isn’t, though.

Nothing other than Leo knowing that I know she’s lying, and waiting to see how long it takes for the others to catch on.

Because Leonor Allan isn’t interested in a guy like me.

Or so I’ve convinced myself.

“Why were you looking for Dan?” I arch a brow as I peel her sock off then go back to playing doctor. Jesus this is rough.

“I was going to let him know I was leaving. He was still there working outside and I locked up, so I wanted to make sure he knew in case there was a reason for him to go back in.”

So much bullshit.

We all know that property, at least well enough to get the gist of the layout and for our girl to come home looking like this, it wasn’t just a fall outside. She was running through that damn field when she bit it.

And that is the exact second everyone else catches on.

“Bullshit,” Lucky says as he leans back on the coffee table at the same time Pete gets up off the couch and heads to the junk drawer.

Guess it’s going down now .

Taking the ice pack from Norm, who is tapping into that hot temper a little bit because he’s scowling, I go about handling Leo’s ankle while the boys do some math.

“You were in the field,” Norm grunts. “These scratches, the stuff in your hair, that’s not from falling in the yard.”

Duh .

I look up just in time to see Leo open her mouth to throw another excuse at us but she doesn’t get the chance. Not when Pete comes back holding the entire junk drawer before making a slight detour. He grabs her backpack off the floor, tosses it at me, then comes to sit between me and Lucky while Norm plants his ass on the other side of our drummer.

While sitting here like this, the four of us across from Leonor as if we’re about to unleash the most intense interrogation in the history of them, it probably isn’t the best idea but it’ll get the point across. Even if our girl loses her shit a little. She’s defensive on a good day and this is going to make it worse. Especially when Pete doesn’t actually say anything, he just dumps the drawer in Leo’s lap and glares at all the shit none of us thought we’d see again.

“You went through my stuff?” Leo takes her ankle out of my lap, sitting up as she folds her arms in front of her chest.

Here we go .

“I was looking for the bottle opener, Leonor. None of us have ever snooped through your shit for the hell of it and that isn’t going to change because?—“

“Don’t,” she says with a scowl. “You downgrade anything just because you’re mad and we are going to have even more problems than what you’re jumping to conclusions over.”

Pete slams his mouth shut and Lucky immediately starts in. “Leo, baby cakes, it isn’t just the drawer. We’ve all found shit outside your apartment, seen weird things going on since we’ve been back.”

He keeps going, talking in that soothing tone we all fall for while he brings up the photos, and I take the opportunity to drown him out and actually go through Leonor’s shit because I’m holding the backpack she hasn’t left her apartment without since we’ve been coming around.

I pull out another patchwork voodoo doll, a couple of envelopes addressed in charcoal then keep going to find a fucking baby doll head with empty eye sockets, setting everything down on the empty side of the couch to Leo’s left. Then I dig some more.

Taser, her passport, meds, chargers and every device she owns that can fit in the canvas bag, and… “A fucking gun, Leonor?”

“So?”

I look up at her, my brow furrowed before I shake my head then check to make sure the safety is on before I empty it. “ So? So you could have shot Dirt Sack after a night like tonight.”

Leo glares at me, jutting her chin out as she straightens her spine. “And how the hell do you even know how tonight went, hmm?”

Handing the ammo to Pete, I put the empty gun back in her bag then sigh my ass off.

Do I know why I’ve always been so damn empathic when it comes to Leo? To the point of almost psychic? No, but I’m assuming it has everything to do with living in New Orleans and the supernatural shit that seems to thrive here.

Probably being in love with her, too.

Either way, I’ve been able to read Leonor like a fucking book since the second we met, better than the other guys who are eerily in sync with her as well, I just get there first, and she knows it. It’s always given me a leg up when it comes to our girl.

Even when she gets pissed at me for it.

“You locked up when you said you did then started the long ass walk back to your car. Sun was setting, getting dark, you thought you saw something.” Leo watches me closely, narrowing her eyes on my face and while that would normally get me to shut up and move on, I’m done doing that. The band is back together, she’s with Lucky and Pete, I have nothing left to lose. “And since you had more of this psycho bullshit in your bag, you probably did see something, and it spooked you. So you took off into the field and ran until you didn’t think you were being followed anymore.”

Leonor smirks. “That it?”

I shake my head and mirror her expression. “No. You twisted your ankle, fell, thought you were still being followed then took a chance to get out when shit got quiet.” I scrub a hand over my face with a sigh. “Enter Dirt Sack and his guardian angel who conveniently had you drop your bag before any of this got started.”

Jesus, even pissed off and ready to fight, Leonor really is beautiful.

“I don’t know where?—“

“He’s right,” Norman says as Pete quits blinking again and Lucky basically starts to vibrate. “Isn’t he, Leo? Mark is completely right, and you were going to lie to us about it just like you’ve been lying about everything else.”

“I haven’t lied about any of this”—she motions to her souvenirs all over the floor—“so don’t even try that. You didn’t ask, I didn’t tell.”

Lucky shoots up from the coffee table and points a finger in her face. “Don’t try to get off on a technicality, Leonor. Omitting the truth is the same as fucking lying, and you had no goddamn right to keep this from us.”

“Fuck you, Lucius.” Leo quickly gets to her feet so she can get back in his face but winces when she puts weight on her ankle. “This is my fucking problem, not yours. Just because you all blew back into my life the way you did doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you everything right out of the gate, especially with this shit. This is my problem, it’s nothing you need to worry about.”

And now I’m pissed .

So much so that I get to my feet, shove Leo down on the couch because of her fucking swollen joint, use my other hand to shove Lucky back onto the table and stand between them because I’m done .

“You”—I point to Luck—“stay the fuck down. She’s yours now, you don’t have to go all caveman and get pissy because of unrequited bullshit. This isn’t going to get us anywhere, and you can fuck it out later. You”—I swing my stare toward Leo and point just as she tries to get up again—“You haven’t had one goddamn problem over the last thirteen years that was exclusive to you alone. Not since you agreed to be our lead vocals because the second you did that, you and all your bullshit became ours . You know it, I know it, everyone fucking knows it regardless of the three year hiatus so don’t try pulling that I’m an island shit.”

Taking a deep breath, I look between them again before I keep going. “And this? This garbage that’s supposed to mimic what happened for an entire year before we lost you? It will never just be a you problem, Leonor. He fucking killed you, you died, but so did we. Lucky bares the scars from it, the three of us have the rap sheet from it. All four of us were willing to die for you, and all four of us were ready to kill for you because of who you are to us. You are ours , Leonor. Ours. We all fucking died that day because your temporary physical deaths killed us and when you called Lucius, unintentional or not, you breathed life back into all of us. There is no more my problem , no more handling shit on your own because we couldn’t save you then but we sure as fuck want to try protecting you now. No more secrets, no more lies. You have to tell us everything or else this isn’t going to work, and we’ve all wasted a fuck ton of time.”

Norman grabs my hand as I try to storm off, too angry to even listen to anything anyone has to say after my little speech, easily tugging me back toward them because I couldn’t actually leave if I really wanted to. I still don’t want to hear shit and an exit like that would help make my point, but if he doesn’t want me to go, fine. I’m not looking at any of them, not yet, because…

“I’m sorry,” Leo whispers as I feel her delicate hand slip into mine. She squeezes as I glance at her over my shoulder, those dark as night eyes glittering with tears. “There have been so many changes, so much going on in such a short period of time, and I’m scared. I’m not trying to shut any of you out, I just… I’m sorry. I’ll tell you what you want to know, Markus, so please don’t go.”

Searching her face, I can see every bit of sincerity, every ounce of truth staring back at me but I know Leo too well to believe she’s going to tell us everything. Not yet. We’ll get her there but she’s not done fighting us, fucking or not. Leonor is just done fighting for now .

And because I can’t go through another few minutes let alone years without her, I’ll take it.