8. Thanks for Nothing （Dust）

8

Thanks for Nothing (Dust)

T he worst week of my life in twenty years started the second I peeled away from Hannah's mansion.

Joker spilled the beans by the damned truckload. He told the brothers about Piece, the dirty, murderous secret we'd kept from everyone, and said point blank he wasn't waiting for revenge. He was gonna go and take it.

Then he took off alone. I got my dick nailed to the wall by my boys, who held off on a vote for my gavel 'til we settled with the Deads.

When we finally caught up to the Veep and came crashing into their lair, with a little help from our friends in the Grizzlies MC, we found a shit show.

They'd beat the shit outta Joker. Laid him up for weeks.

We killed every last miserable bastard wearing their patch over it, including their sick fuck leader, Hatch. It was a pleasure to carve the blood stained patches off his cut and bring 'em home for Joker and his grandpa to savor. Old man Taylor had been waiting a long time in that fuckin' nursing home to see his grandson avenged, and see the other one whole. He could finally die in peace, whenever the time came .

The club had new business, now that the Deads were in disarray and we had a route from sea to shining sea wide open for the gun trade. Blackjack and Throttle promised plenty of trade flowing down from their MCs. All three of our clubs had a beautiful corridor stretching across the country.

As for me fuckin' everybody over by holding onto secrets for too long, well, we settled that, too.

I sat through the entire agonizing vote for my gavel. Half the boys voted against me, hoping for a new Prez, and I didn't blame 'em one bit.

When it came down to that single swing vote, I thought I'd be fucked, considering it was in Firefly's hands. But the big, beautiful sonofabitch looked me coldly in the eyes, voting to keep me in charge.

Never expected that. Never thought he'd put the club's own good over the personal shit stirring him up with me and Hannah, but he did.

The man who had more reason than most to be caving my skull in gave me a second chance to lead, and I'd never forget it.

If shit seemed to be whirling by in a blur before, then it went twice as fast after all the deadly drama ended.

Everything changed. Before I knew it, we had two weddings on our hands. Meg and Skin were due to be hitched at the same time as Joker and Summer, making their love official once and for all.

I barely had a second to slip away to see Hannah with the whole damned world going to shit. But I managed, climbing over her gate before she opened it half the time, taking what was mine again and again like a maniac after another hit of the finest pussy on the face of the Earth.

One cool fall evening, several days before the double wedding, I walked into her palace and came face-to-face with a sight that almost pulled my dick straight through my pants.

Hannah waiting for me next to her fireplace, a bottle of wine on the mantle, and a roaring red glow crackling behind her. She wore her purple robe, pulled up too high for her own good, just enough to let me see the heels and stockings peaking out.

“Fuckin' hell, darlin'. Is that how you're gonna dress all winter? Because if that's the way it goes, bring on Jack Frost.”

She laughed, reaching behind her for the bottle. The cork was already loose, and she pulled it out with her teeth, holding it in her mouth like some little creature tempting me to ravage her.

“No games. I need those lips now. ” I stepped up to her and plucked the cork from her teeth when I was close enough.

Our lips collided, fiery and restless. They always were when we got together, but lately it was only about once a week. Our bodies needed more than that – a whole lot more.

My hands wound their way into her robe, feeling that bare, hot skin I'd soon have under me. I was about to shred the velvety belt holding it shut when she batted at my wrist with both hands, giving me a push with all her strength.

“Not so fast. Are you spending the night? After last time, I'm putting my foot down and telling you, I ain't a wham-bam girl no matter how sexy and strong you look, Dusty.” She narrowed her eyes.

Fuck. I thought back to last week, when I slipped out before dawn, pulled into a late night call with Blackjack. I knew I'd fucked up as soon as I left, putting business over her, especially when the crazy old bastard out west asked me why the fuck I was free at four in the morning, without a wife and kid to keep me busy.

“Darlin', I screwed up,” I said. Never an easy thing for me to say. “I walked when I shouldn't have, when there wasn't any danger. I've learned my lesson. My ass belongs in your bed all night, unless there's life and death involved. Money can wait. We've both got ourselves plenty of coin. More will always be there tomorrow, but I can't say the same about another chance to get up inside you.”

I slid my hands up her thighs, feeling those stockings, letting their sleek texture drive my dick mad. Hannah closed her eyes and purred, a soft smile on her lips, seemingly satisfied with the falling on my sword I'd done.

Right now, I would've told her she was the queen of damned England if it got her legs open. I wasn't just feeding her lies, though.

Meant every word I said. Every insane, unbelievable, alien word I thought I'd never say to any woman. She'd split me open, causing sheer madness to pour out my lips.

“I don't know,” she said softly, grabbing my wrist with one little hand. “Part of me wants to give you a second chance. The other part thinks you're just telling me everything I want to hear. You'll hop on your bike and ride off into the sunset like any other player wearing that patch after you've had your fill.”

“You're calling me a liar?” I growled, running my hands over her more forcefully, winding them to her ass. I cupped her cheek, gave it a hard squeeze. “I think I oughta find out what part of you believes I'm telling the truth. I'll fuck that part with my tongue half the night.”

I move my fingers underneath her ass, gliding over her panties. She gasped, arching into the wall, and I suppressed another growl, sensing the wet spot swelling between her legs.

“And the rest of me?” she whimpered, trying to keep her eyes open, pretend she had the upper hand.

“The part that's calling me on bullshit, or thinks it is?” I took my fingers away from her pussy, bringing them back to her ass, but this time I lifted her robe, holding my palm over that sweetness, begging to be spanked. “I'll have to smack sense into that part, darlin'. No man, woman, or animal calls Daniel Grayson a liar.”

My palm came down swiftly on her ass. Her eyes snapped open and she let out a little yelp, exactly like the kind she made most nights before I sent her into ecstasy.

“Oh! I was wondering when I'd hear your real name. Not that Dusty doesn't have a nice ring to it.” She smiled sweetly, walking fully into my embrace, wine bottle gripped in her hand .

She brought it to her lips and took a big, teasing swig that could've put a sailor to shame. Seeing it glide down her throat didn't do anything to suppress the hard-on raging in my jeans.

“Consider yourself something real special, darlin'. Hearing my name at all means you can forget about ever thinking I'd lie to you,” I said, taking the wine from her hand, and bringing it to my lips.

Normally, I preferred whiskey or beer, but this shit would do the job tonight. It went down smooth, landed in my stomach, and exploded in a fireball, adding its heat to everything lust kept fanning in my system.

“That's too bad,” she said, licking her lips. “I was really looking forward to more spankings.”

My eyes locked on her baby blues. Fuck, I wanted to make them roll. Wanted to destroy her tonight, and watch those eyes lose their shine to pure pleasure.

“Not half as much as I've been looking forward to what we're planning tonight, darlin'. Ain't nothing in this world like skin-on-skin. We're gonna fuck so much tonight, you'll be leaking me for days.”

My words turned her cheeks rosy red, just how I liked them. I meant every single one, too, knowing this was the first night I'd be taking her sweet cunt with nothing in the way.

“Upstairs?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Later. Why should we rush off to bed when we've got a perfectly good fire going here, plus a bottle of wine to suck down in between the next round of fireworks? ”

I didn't give her any time to think about it. One arm locked around her, and my other hand tore at her robe, dropping that soft, purple cover straight to the floor.

Underneath it, she had her dark black stockings, her panties, and nothing else. Just the way I liked it.

She squealed and laughed when I grabbed her, pulled her down to the floor with me, and laid her out on the cool rug underneath us.

I laid into her lips like I hadn't had any for weeks.

How this woman managed to make me feel like I was getting my dick wet for the first time, every time, I still hadn't figured out. The woman was either magic, or something beautiful that went beyond tits and ass.

Something I thought I'd never have, much less crave the more I had it.

Every spare minute I wasn't dealing with the club's shit, I wanted Hannah Davis.

Her, not just her pussy.

Obviously, I wanted to be all up inside that, practically twenty-four seven, but we were going deeper than sex. I craved her in ways that weren't just about getting my dick soaked anymore.

We'd grown closer every kiss. Tangled ourselves up in each other a little more every time our lips connected and our bodies swapped sweat. Closer every time she laughed at my crap, and I buried her sass in another smoldering touch causing her to moan.

Hannah touched the man behind Dust. She lured Daniel to the surface, caused him to push her down into her pretty gardens out back, and left him craving more, even after he'd brought her upstairs.

She blue balled me, straight to my messed up soul. Left my head spinning a little more, and my heart more bitter, every wicked moment I had to walk away and go about my business, the other world that wasn't Hannah's lips, her laugh, her bed.

Deep down, I knew a man only came out of this freaky ass spell one of two ways: he came out whole, hitched, and seeing his woman every day of his life, or he went completely fuckin' loco.

I kissed her again, stroking my tongue on hers, tasting the sweetness I wanted to be mine, mine, and only mine.

Mine today, tomorrow, and next year.

She moaned into my mouth, slurring my name underneath her wine flavored flesh, turning my dick to granite.

Dusty. I couldn't get enough of that, hearing her recite my name with a passion and a hunger I'd never cared about on any woman's lips before.

A lot of assholes out there laugh about chemistry, insta-love, that caveman urge to claim a mate and keep fuckin' claiming her every time he gets his dick inside his girl. I used to be one of those assholes, thinking it'd never happen to me.

Technically, it hadn't happened yet.

Wasn't like I'd put my brand on her, or started calling her my old lady. But all that weighed on my brain heavier every day, creating a prickly fog I knew wouldn't lift 'til we had it all. I jerked off a little harder when I couldn't be with her, thinking about the day we'd be sharing a bed permanently, and I'd never have to waste a hard cock in my hands ever again.

My teeth grazed her throat. Hannah squirmed under me, tangling her legs around mine, begging me to bring it home.

Fortunately and unfortunately for her, it wasn't time for that yet.

I had standards. Didn't sink my dick in 'til I'd soaked her pussy good and hard. My tongue needed her taste, every sugary molecule of sweat sizzling on her flesh. I licked my way down good and slow, stopping to take each of her nipples between my teeth, pulling rough and lashing them with my tongue.

She practically came just from that. So sweet, so pure, so damned responsive to everything I did to her.

My cock jerked for the hundredth time in my jeans, leaking pre-come everywhere. Every voice inside me howled to rip her panties off and beast fuck her, but I told myself the same thing I told her body.

Not yet.

Not fuckin' yet.

She ain't coming on every inch 'til she's had my tongue, my fingers, and I've sucked her cream to my heart's content. If a day goes by when she forgets who makes that little nub between her legs burn, then I haven't done my damned job.

I wouldn't forget what she needed tonight. Wouldn't miss it for anything .

“Move with me, darlin,” I said, grabbing her ass and lifting her high.

We rolled, repositioned, and soon her ass was in my face. My fingers dipped below the waistband hugging her hips. They came down in one quick jerk, so fast it caused her to whimper.

I left her panties around her knees while I grabbed her hips, shoved them against my face, and slipped my tongue into her.

“Oh...fuck!” she cried out, digging her nails into my leg for support. “Yeah, Dusty. Yeah! ”

Hot blood frolicked in my veins, urging me on. I licked her high and low, shallow and deep, faster and faster, then so motherfuckin' fast she pinched her eyes shut, bucked her hips into my face, and tensed.

Too much pleasure, too soon. She tried to pull away, and I wasn't having it. I growled against her pussy, hugging her ass to me, pinning her where she belonged while my mouth owned everything.

Didn't take her long to find the rhythm. Each time my tongue plunged deep, she rubbed her pussy a little harder into my face, begging me to bring her off.

This was her lucky day because I was hellbent on doing it. My licks moved up, focusing on her clit. Took that little bead in my mouth and sucked it hard, dashing mad circles, reaching between her legs with two stiff fingers to fuck her while she took my tongue.

Make me hear my fuckin' name, I thought, whirling licks around her tender flesh 'til I was at my limit. Say it, beautiful. Say it, scream it, give it the fuck up.

We connected on a crazy, primal level I couldn't even fathom. Ten more seconds in, she seized up, her hips bending in to brace for the lightning ripping through them.

“Dusty...Dusty...Dusty!” Pure staccato pleasure erupted from her lips.

Her pussy convulsed on my face. I held her down, pulling her into me to keep on stroking her the whole way through her orgasm.

I brought her off hard. Licked up every sweet splash of cream gushing near my mouth, her pussy melting for me, coming completely undone.

No, fuck, just coming. And I'd make it happen about a dozen more times tonight before we were through.

I needed this woman. Needed to fuck her, own her, and pump my seed deep. Needed to mark her with my teeth, my come, my ink.

Just when she started coming down from it, her clit still humming against my tongue, I slapped her ass hard. She came a little more, a spankaholic if I ever saw one.

It was a miracle my dick hadn't torn through my jeans yet. But it came damned close when I felt her tense up, listened to how fuckin' much she enjoyed my hand impacting her sweet skin.

Lucky for both of us, she had plenty of sass to go around. I'd be bending her over my knee good and proper one of these days, and see how red I'd paint her ass before she came.

“Ease up, babe,” I told her, as soon as the frenzy weakened. “Turn the fuck around.”

She did slowly, shifting on her knees. I watched her ass ripple, one hand on my dick. Our eyes locked and I took in the beautiful mess I'd created.

Hannah was still biting her lip when she looked at me. Her eyes were big, glossy, maybe slightly bloodshot from coming as hard as she did on my mouth. A hot, crimson flush spread around her tits like a sunburn, making me see a different kind of red.

It taunted me to fuck her more. I couldn't take waiting one more second to have her bare.

“Lose the panties, darlin', and pull down my jeans.”

She did, blushing a little as she finished shimmying them down her legs, throwing them behind her. I'd loosened my belt and I lifted my ass, kicking off everything I could, holding myself in a crunch to get my cut and shirt off.

My eyes hit the bottle next to the fireplace for a second, and I wanted to laugh. Way things were going, we might not touch the wine for at least a few more hours.

That was just fine.

Hell, what she had between her legs, calling to my cock...no, fuck fine.

This pussy was pink perfection, and I was about to make it mine like no man ever had, or ever would as long as I had two fists and a gun to my name.

“I think we're ready for this,” she said, sucking at her bottom lip. “I need you, Dusty.”

“Thinking ain't good enough. Darlin', I'm sure you're ready to take every inch I've got in that tight little cunt. Ready to come on my cock with nothing in the way. Ready to feel everything that's burning in my balls up in you.”

“Yes!” She laid her hands on my chest, slowly guiding her pussy over my cock, hesitating for one more unbearable moment.

My hands went to her ass, pinching her cheeks in my fingers. “That's it, Hannah. Ride me like you've always wanted. You don't get off this dick 'til we're nothing but a grunting, steaming, twitching mess. Whatever's in your head right now, forget it if it's got nothing to do with fuckin'.”

My hands moved, pulling her down in one stroke. Her lips opened wider than her eyes when that pussy engulfed me for the first time. I clenched my jaw, growling out my pleasure, wondering how I'd lived so long without ever having a woman this hot, this tight, this wickedly amazing.

It took us both a full minute to remember how to fuck. I moved my hips first. She slowly matched my rhythm, getting into it, her gorgeous blue eyes fluttering shut while nature took over.

“You feel so fuckin' good, darlin'. Better than anyone I ever had.” I shouldn't have said that shit, but it came out anyway.

She smiled, but it melted just as fast by my dick driving into her again, replaced with a face that put soft and happy to shame. Pleasure contorted her lips, her eyes, pulled her nipples into peaks, softening the hard little stones they'd been a minute ago .

Christ, she was beautiful. Gorgeous through and through. From the tips of those sweat-dabbed brunette locks flowing down her back, to the ends of her toes, curling against my legs while I thrust into her faster.

Hannah taught me a whole new dictionary filled with words I never understood in forty fuckin' years.

Delectable. Corruptible. True.

And most important, mine.

That last word, I felt in every stroke, pushing harder through the hot, wet bliss clenching around me. She gripped my shoulders now, rocking her hips into mine like a demon, ready to go off any second.

I pushed back, taking as much pleasure as I gave, marking her from the inside out with the power, the force, the heartache chained up in my soul.

Fuckin' her gave me everything I never had. I saw it in every swing of her hips, every time her mouth opened, and she let out another little sound threatening to spill my load before I meant to.

My fist reached into her hair when she started panting. I fisted those locks, pulled them tight, 'til I saw her pretty eyes open, staring into mine.

“Come for me, baby girl. One more time, before I fill you straight to your womb. Come for me. Come with me. Come your sweet fuckin' brains out.”

She'd been on the edge, and that pushed her right the fuck over. Hannah's fingers scratched my skin, raked raw, burning grooves into me. Gentle pain only added to the fire.

I pistoned even wilder into her, pumped her so hard I wasn't sure how I didn't knock her off me, slamming my hips into hers so rough I gave her every inch, had her whole pussy wrapped around me.

“Oh, yes. Oh, fuck. Dusty!” My name left her mouth one more time before she lost it.

Her pussy pinched my dick like a vice, and I joined her in the maelstrom. My balls erupted, lit my spine on fire, turned me into a fuck machine made for throwing my come into her.

“Hannah!” I roared her name right back when I came, my dick swelling inside her, releasing its flood.

We came together. Our pulses matched beat-for-beat, becoming one.

Something ferocious and new I'd never had with the dozens of sluts I'd fucked over the years. Some were honest-to-God wildcats, the kind who'd shriek through the walls and leave scratches on your back the next morning.

But damn, the dirtiest, wildest, most shameless whores had nothing on the girl I emptied my balls into now.

Hellfire bathed my brain, sending its inferno through my body. Shit, even into hers. This fuck made us one, just a big, unbroken chain of flesh, fused in our pleasure. Rocking, sweating, and grinding out ecstasy, her pussy sucking in every thick rope wrung from my cock.

She winded me. Honest to God.

I gasped for air right alongside her when my dick finished jerking, spent like an empty clip. Incredible, really, because sex never winded me before.

What the holy fuck was happening here ?

When she opened those ocean blue eyes, I had a good idea. My hand cradled her face, and I moved my lips to hers, taking one more taste of what I'd conquered while I was still hard inside her.

“Do you think it'll always be this good?” she asked, staring at me like I'd just handed her the moon.

I smiled. “Darlin', it only fades because people let it get boring. We've had ourselves another first tonight, but I've got about a hundred more in mind before we start getting really fuckin' kinky.”

“Damn. And here I wanted to skip right to the bright pink ponytail buttplugs and nipple clamps!”

Grinning, I rested my forehead on hers, taking another taste of her lips before I said anything. No hiding how my cock twitched inside her when I thought about a couple clamps swinging from those sweet tits.

“Don't tell me you've been reading those dirty books like Meg and Cora. Always catch them reading some shit on their screens about guys hung like mammoths, or how Prince What-the-fuck exposed his dick for the millionth time, when they don't think anybody's looking.”

“Sorry,” she teased, cocking her head. “I like my men hard, tattooed, and alpha to the core. Rugged, dirty talking men with good hearts underneath. It's easy for a girl to settle with book boyfriends when there ain't very many like that around in real life.”

Book boyfriends? I snorted. Was she trying to make steam shoot out my fuckin' ears?

Jealousy shocked my system too easy with her, even when the assholes after her were fictional.

Before, there was only about a ten percent chance I'd lose my hard-on and have to wait before she fed me those words. Now, it was effectively zero.

“Guess it's your lucky day then,” I said, running my fingers through her soft hair, holding her eyes in mine. “You've met your hero.”

“Yeah? Lucky me.” She tried to sound sarcastic, but her eyes betrayed hope.

“Believe it,” I promised, beginning to pump my cock in her again, screwing through the mess we'd made. “Because you've been fuckin' him for about a month, and he's about to give you every inch he's got again.”

She moaned, wrapping her hands around my neck, giving into the best sex of our lives. We barely had a drop of wine that night before we passed out. Exhausted, entangled, and wondering how the hell something so good kept happening.

“Come to the wedding with me,” I told her the next morning, chewing on the breakfast I'd cooked up for us in her fancy kitchen. “It's coming up fast. Just a few more days away now.”

I turned, just in time to see her hesitate, taking a long pull from the coffee. We both took it extra strong to pry our eyes open after the naked gymnastics we'd done well past midnight.

“There a problem?” I asked, knowing damned well there was when she took too long to answer.

“No...I want to, I mean. It's just that I'm so behind on my work,” she said sadly. “I know this club stuff means a lot to you. Means a lot to Huck, too. We're about to be one big happy family, and I should really try to be more involved. Maybe it would help iron out the tensions in the group if they saw us as a couple.”

“Fuck the tensions. Our family's about to get a whole lot bigger with your niece on the way. Won't be long before Skin puts a baby in Meg's belly, too.”

My Treasurer and me had two things in common. We both went after rich, fiery chicks who oughta be outside our grasp in any sane world. I'd also heard his shit going into Meg's ear when he thought nobody else was around about putting a kid in her sooner, rather than later, possibly as a wedding present.

The old Dust would've winced, wondering what man begged for a pile of responsibility dropping in his lap. Didn't think much like that anymore.

For the first time in my life, thinking about knocking a woman up caused my dick to stand on end, instead of deflate.

“Come on, Hannah,” I said, smiling, throwing more bacon onto her plate. “You can step away from the keyboard for one evening. Don't just do it for me. Do it for the club. They'll love to see you there, and so will I.”

I reached for her hand. She took my fingers, but it wasn't like she wanted to. Gave me a grip like a person holding something back, hiding a secret chewing her up inside .

“I'll think about it, Dusty. Really. I wish I could just say yes.” She rolled her eyes, sighing. “This project...it's endless. I can't wait to be done with it for good.”

“So, say it,” I said, trying not to lose my patience. “Look, I know running your business and tending to that matchmaker app is real serious. I respect how you've clawed your way up and made yourself something.”

Her eyes signaled mine, shy and sad. Holding onto something I wanted to pry out of her, find out what the fuck made her pretend she couldn't go due to 'work.'

Business, I could buy that anytime. But the tension in her face gave away extra, mirrored the look I'd seen on folks a hundred times when they had more than just money at stake.

“What's going on, darlin'? If it's more than just coding, I need to know. Tell me.” It came out like a demand. I realized I was squeezing her hand so hard it might hurt her, so I eased off.

For a second, that little glint in her eye sharpened, like she'd drop everything in an avalanche. Instead, she sat up straighter, slowly spreading her palms on the counter with another heavy sigh.

“It's...really just work. Nothing else. It's stress, Dusty. There are millions on the line. Millions. Obviously, I've got plenty of that to go around in the bank, but I grew up with nothing. Scary numbers for someone like me. Ever heard of imposter syndrome? Some days, I still wake up, afraid this could all come crashing down if I slow down too much, if I take my foot off the pedal for a split second. ”

Tears sparkled in her eyes. Guilt tugged at my chest, hating how I strong armed her into spilling it like this.

Maybe she had the same syndrome I'd seen bring down too many others. Workaholism, one more sick fuckin' ism I'd love to see wiped from God's green Earth.

“Forget it, Hannah. I'll check in with you soon. We don't have to stay attached at the hip, for fuck's sake. If you can make it, fine. If not...well, I ain't busting your ass over it.”

Might even ease any unexpected bullshit with Firefly if she doesn't show up, I thought, keeping that part to myself. My big Enforcer hadn't said much since he'd voted to save my gavel. We shared an icy peace, knowing it could go up in flames anytime. He hadn't accepted anything between his sis and me.

“I'm heading out,” I told her, lifting my mug to knock down the rest of my coffee. “Too much work today, or I'd stay longer. Try to take a few breaks so your fingers don't fall off.”

She smiled, tense and uneasy, nodding. I put my mug down and got halfway to the door before I heard her feet pounding the floor after me.

Hannah crashed into me from behind. I turned around, a thousand questions running through my mind, second guessing my own damned second guessing about what the hell was going on here.

Didn't want to upset her more. I helped her up, smoothing her hands over my leather cut, and kissed away the tears rolling down her cheeks .

“Please don't read anything into this, Dusty. I'm really, really close to a breakthrough with my work, and once it happens, I'll have all the time in the world for the things I want to be a part of.” She grabbed my hand, pressed it against her cheek, stamping her lips on the back. “I'll be there if I can, I promise.”

“I'm serious about keeping those fingers intact, darlin'. Plus every other beautiful part of you. You can work yourself to death, and the world won't wait. It just goes on with people livin' and dyin', popping out kids right and left, weddings and funerals all over the damned place.”

“Jesus, don't you think I know? ” She let go. More hot tears streamed down her cheeks.

Shit. I hadn't meant to set her off.

I grabbed her, held on for awhile, calmly stroking her hair, savoring this touch like it might be the last, even though I was certain it wouldn't be.

“Do what you need to, Hannah. No judgment. Love you anyway, whether you're there or not.”

Double shit. I just let a loose grenade tumble out my mouth.

She looked at me, wide eyed and scared, when we both realized the crazy fuckin' L-word that fell out.

“Gotta go.” I cut it short, doubling my speed out the door, taking the shortcut across her lawn with a quickness I only used in a gun fight.

I kept it together 'til I hit the road, riding home, and letting the screen door bang shut behind me. Then I sat down in the worn leather armchair, cupping my face in both hands, giving myself a second before I went for the bottle of Jack I had waiting under the counter.

You're coming undone, you stupid bastard. All over pussy, too.

I looked up, imagining my old man standing in the corner. Early shook his head, his big beard gnarled, a nasty sneer on his face. Kind he always wore before he cut me down over nothing, or told ma she was just imagining the other women.

“Fuck off!” I spat. “Ain't in the mood.”

Whether I said it to him or myself, assuming they weren't one and the same, who knew.

Things were changing.

And that was a goddamned understatement. A couple more days, I'd watch two more of my boys tie the knot, happier than they ever thought they'd be a year ago back when the club was on its back.

Had to get a grip. Had to.

Hell, if I kept letting Hannah make me hallucinate the asshole I called dad, I'd take Joker's spot as the resident psycho wearing our patch. I stood up, staring angrily into the empty corner of my living room where I'd seen him a few seconds ago.

“Thanks for nothing, deadbeat asshole,” I growled. “If you hadn't spent thirty years shittin' on me, maybe I'd know how to handle this girl. Maybe I'd throw my club together again, easy as pie, and get the brothers' knives away from their own throats. Maybe I'd have a wife and kid of my own, and I'd treat 'em right, better than you ever fuckin' treated me and mom. ”

I stopped. Talking to a dead man wasn't doing me any favors. Rambling to my own demons wouldn't do anybody a lick of good.

Only way to set this right was to get through this wedding, whether Hannah showed herself or not, and then find out what was really eating her.

If it was just work, I'd deal. And if it was something else...well, shit, I'd deal with that, too.

Deep down, I'd claimed her, and I wasn't letting go. Nothing would stop me from keeping her mine.

Ma came by a few days later to meet me before the wedding. I sat at my kitchen counter, staring at my phone, wishing like hell Hannah would've changed her mind.

Having her there to watch Skin and Joker get hitched wasn't happening, and I'd have to live with it.

She sent the last text that morning. My eyes scanned over it, biting the end of my pipe hard while I drew in a long pull of fresh tobacco.

Dusty – I'm sorry. I need to get this database right, or I'm risking the entire infrastructure coming down. Give your boys my very best. We'll talk soon.

“Ah, I wondered what had you so uptight this morning,” Ma said, standing over my shoulder. “When are you going to introduce us?”

I spun around, taking a good, long look at the wry smile on her face. Never, I wanted to say. Besides being a bald ass lie, it would've made me feel guilty as sin because maybe some part of me wanted to take Hannah to meet her.

“Whenever,” I said, drawing my pipe out of my mouth, watching the smoke curl out the end. “Won't be today, Ma. She's a busy lady.”

“Really? Busier than you?” She stared at me with way too much amusement on her face, one hand resting on her hip. “Daniel Stonewall Grayson – are you telling me you've met your match?”

“Fuck no,” I said, standing up to get more coffee. Only decent option I had to take the edge off. “I'm saying we're taking it slow, Ma, but don't get any crazy ideas in your head. It ain't that serious.”

Bullshit. The fact that I'd just watched my phone like a hawk since sunrise said things were more serious than they'd ever been with any woman.

“Oh, Danny, just when I thought today couldn't get any sweeter.” Wearing that stupid smile, she shook her head, as if she couldn't believe what was rolling around inside it. “Looks like I'm going to see you married after all, one of these days. Take notes today. It'll be like a trial run for your own wedding. I'll bring the extra tissues.”

“Ma!” I stamped my boot, sloshing coffee onto the floor. No woman survived life in this club without sass, but she brought it by the ton. “You're getting carried away.”

I'd never seen her so happy since...shit, probably not since my old man died. Red faced, laughing, covering her old grey eyes, I left her to the moment while I mopped the floor with a paper towel.

“If you're done cackling, we've got to get our butts in gear and go. Preacher man's pretty damned punctual about when he starts these things.”

“Sure, Dusty.” She was still dabbing at her eyes when I came up, tossed the paper towel away, and quickly chugged the rest of my coffee. “Bet he's getting tired of doing so many weddings so close together. What's his story anyway?”

I thought about the turtle faced hell raiser we all called preacher man, who'd given the club its moral support for several years now. “Old friend of the club's. You know how it goes. He thinks we're guardian angels or something. Like we need a man of God keeping us on track, fulfilling our destiny, or some shit.”

Ma nodded, thinking it over.

Truth was, preacher man prattled on about that crap plenty of times, but he had a better reason to help the club when duty called.

Early bailed his ass out back in the day, not long before he bit the bullet. The quiet, small town preacher went through a bad spell. Got himself mixed up in dope and crystal, and unknowingly opened the door for the bastards selling it to use his church basement for storage and production.

Didn't last long. My old man killed every last one of those fuckers muscling in on his turf, burned the filth below his Sunday flock, and chained up preacher man 'til he stopped sweating like a pig and crying for his mama. I stood guard that night, when the junk he'd gotten hooked on was leaving his system, listening to him pray to the almighty like he never had in his life .

He cried like a baby when he realized what he'd done. Asked the Lord to take him then because he could've gotten people killed.

I stepped up and put my boot on his foot 'til he cried harder. Told him to shut up, turn himself around, and make amends for his God and for himself. I helped him up when he'd had his fill of pain, let him bawl in my arms like a little boy who'd gotten himself into something far too serious for his years.

Preacher man swore he'd do right. He'd serve his people. I told him I'd be checking in to make sure he did, and if he ever went off the track – well, he'd be fuckin' lucky to end up in a Tennessee prison cell.

Of course, my old man didn't give a shit about him getting clean, or the fact that the meth lab in the church might've blown several blocks to kingdom come. Early was pissed because the drug trade around here was his , and nobody muscled in on his territory with that cheap, inferior junk cooked up in test tubes.

Preacher man came out clean, and stayed that way. I kept an eye on his ass every other year, and occasionally had the prospects look through his windows when he wasn't around. They'd never seen him relapse, and he'd become a gospel sensation around town ever since, all because we'd made him a believer in everything he said.

Faith is a powerful thing, but sometimes it needs a helping hand.

Ma ran upstairs to change while I returned to the counter, stuffing my pipe in my pocket, wondering how I'd handle Firefly if he wanted to have it out over his sis at the big shindig about to go down.

Hopefully, he wouldn't be stupid. With any luck, we'd save settling our accounts for another day, since nobody wanted to put their personal shit in between another brother's vows.

“Ready when you are, Dusty,” she said, standing by the door, wearing a purple Sunday dress I hadn't seen in years.

“Fuck me sideways. Guess I know why you're nosing around my dating life, Ma,” I said, hiding the smile pulling at my face. “Who the hell is he, and how hard do I have to kick his ass?”

She blushed, laughing, giving me a gentle push when I got next to her. “Please. You know just as well as I do I'm too old for any man except your father.”

“Yeah,” I said, the giddiness fading when I thought about my asshole old man. “I'll start the truck.”

She'd sacrificed her whole damned life looking after me, and that asshole who'd given me half my DNA, plus a whole lot of grief.

Much as I teased about her meeting somebody knew, I had a feeling she never would. Too bad.

Part of her died the day they lowered Early in the ground, dressed in full patches, his dagger laid out across his chest. One day, she'd be buried with him, and I'd shed a few tears over this senseless fuckin' tragedy we called our lives.

Tragedy? That what you're calling the cozy life I left her with? My old man's nasty voice growled at me from the passenger seat. Fuck you, kid. I gave your Ma more than you ever will, even though I took some privileges when she wasn't lookin'.

I slapped the steering wheel and tightened my hands around it, soon as I climbed inside, before Ma joined me. No, Early, fuck you.

I wouldn't let his shit get to me today. Wouldn't even let Hannah's absence get me down. Ma was laughing, just like plenty more people would be soon. That meant a whole hell of a lot after everything the club went through lately.

I'd see my brothers hitched with a smile. Come heaven, hell, and everything in between. Even if I had to nail it to my fuckin' face.

Men roared. Happy couples kissed. Bingo howled, thumping his big grey tail on the grass for hours, overwhelmed with excitement.

We held the big bash on the land I owned a little ways outside town. It was a serene, wild place with the Smokies towering over us. History roamed deep in this soil. It'd been a place where regiments drilled during the Civil War. Didn't have to look hard to find my share of old bullets and cavalry gear wedged in the dirt.

Meg and Skin were electric like always. They laid their lives on the line for each other when they said their piece, and kissed like they wanted to wake the dead.

But Joker and his girl, Summer? Crazy motherfucker stole the damned show .

Almost had to let my pipe spill hot ash on my skin to believe what I was seeing. The most twisted brother in the club suddenly had it all, and then some. One big happy family with the wife, the kid, and the dog who hardly ever calmed down.

Brothers, family friends, and club associates milled around, digging into barbecue and slugging down booze. I went light on the Jack and pork, and lighter still on my usual lectures I gave everybody about the history rooted in this land. Paid my respects to my Veep and his beautiful bride before they took off for their honeymoon, leaving the rest of the party to go deep into the night.

Fires were lit. The last holdout fireflies appeared in the autumn night, burning bright as stars, before nature stamped them out for winter.

I sat by Ma, listening to her humming to herself, smoking my pipe. “Beautiful ceremony. Simply gorgeous,” she said, turning to me.

“Yeah, Ma. It really was. Never thought I'd see Joker ride off so happy. Glad I was wrong.”

“It'll be you someday, boy. Count on it.”

I cocked my head and snorted like always. Wouldn't show it, but for some fucked up reason, her fantasy words hit me deeper than before. Up 'til recently, I hadn't realized I wanted any of this shit, the woman, the kid, or the wedding.

Would that happen with Hannah, if things got serious enough? Was I ready to give it all up to make sure it did?

Who the fuck knew. I sure didn't, when I walked into the night, stepping away from Ma and the crowd to give myself some time to think.

When I found a quiet corner, I pulled out my phone, searching for any new texts. Nothing.

Shit, that bothered me. Worse, I hated that it did, wasting the minutes when I should've been celebrating pining after the chick who'd been the hardest lay of my life. No, more than just a lay.

If it wasn't for her, I would've told a prospect to drive Ma home because I'd be going back to my place with a fresh bottle and brand new pussy on my bike.

Ain't that sweet. Yearnin' after your carefree bulllshit days. I looked up and saw Early's ghost leaning against a tree, a pipe uncomfortably like mine tucked into his beard. You know marriage don't have to change that shit, Dusty. You can have the wife, the kid, and all the pussy in the world on the side, long as you wear this patch like a man.

“Shut up,” I growled quietly, into the night, swiping my hand at a few fireflies blinking in my face.

Too bad preacher man didn't do exorcisms. Hell, maybe I needed a shrink.

'Course, I'd give up my gavel before I went there and confessed my sins to some quack.

I had blood on my hands, good and bad, just like my old man. We were too fuckin' similar, no matter how much I tried to do right by my brothers, right by Ma, right by the woman I was starting to call mine.

Every boy gets the good, the bad, and the ugly in droves from his father. Me, I'd gotten a world of shit, all of his strength, and a flashing red warning not to make his dumb mistakes.

Honestly, it wasn't just dad's women who made Ma suffer. Life in this club wasn't easy for any woman, and half the girls just hitched were only realizing what they'd gotten into. They bore the brunt of it like champs, sure.

Could Hannah? Fuck, did she even want to?

I didn't know, and the uncertainty chewed me apart, piece by bitter piece. I turned around angrily, just in time to see Ma coming toward me with a yawn.

“If you've had your fun...I'm ready to head out anytime,” she said, smoothing out her purple dress, so different from the scrubs she wore for work, or the jeans and t-shirts she donned on weekends.

I waited 'til we were halfway to the parking lot before I dropped the bomb building in my brain. “I've got a question. When you were with dad, did you ever have any doubts after you took his brand? Ever stop and wonder what the fuck you were doing mixed up in all this – the club, the danger, the bullshit, I mean? I need to know.”

We stepped several paces later. She looked at me intently through the night, a soft, reassuring smile on her lips.

“I'm only human. What do you think, Danny? You were there those nights I shut myself away and bawled my eyes out.”

Of course. How the fuck could I forget? I never would. I'd never know peace from it either, all because I'd let my fuck of a father shuffle off his mortal coil before slipping on my brass knuckles and busting his jaw .

“Why'd you stay?” I forced the question through my teeth. “You could've taken off anytime. You're a smart woman, good career. Could've made a fresh start anywhere. Was this all worth it?”

“For me, Dusty, the answer will always be yes. ” She grabbed my fist with both her hands, pressing it tightly between her fingers. “When a woman puts ink on her skin and wears that PROPERTY patch, she's locked in. It's a vow, no different from the oath you saw your brothers and their new wives take tonight.”

“Contracts get voided. Half the shit he did to you qualifies,” I said, staring down at her as she began the standard head shake whenever I told her what a bastard he'd been. “Look, I know you'll live out your days feeling differently about it than me. I'll respect it. But fuck, Ma, I ain't ever gonna get it.”

“Love isn't easy, Danny. I had a higher tolerance than most for blood, grit, and toil. I opened my heart. I took my bruises to the heart. Kept hoping he'd change, when every day said he wouldn't. Hoped Early's bad habits would never rub off on you. So far, knock on wood, at least one of those wishes has come true.”

My eyes went wide. “Ma, I've spent my life running away from his shit. Trying to bury it for myself, for you, for this club. Just put him behind us for good. You're a strong woman, living with your regrets, looking 'em dead in the eye. The brothers, you, and all the girls who gave up their other options to become old ladies in this MC...I get it, they're stuck, and they want to be. Trouble is, I don't know if I can bring somebody else into this insanity.”

We both knew I was talking about Hannah. Probably sounded ridiculous, too, seeing how she'd grown up with one foot in the club as Firefly's little sis. But she'd gotten further away from this world than anybody raised into it, for fuck's sake. She wanted to leave this behind, and she'd practically succeeded.

Making her mine, making it official...wouldn't that be dragging her back?

Screwing her over? Leaving her with the same regrets Ma still hadn't come to terms with, regardless of what she said?

My stomach turned. Ma leaned in, gave me a peck on the cheek, and turned away before I could catch more than a glimpse of the tears beading in her old eyes.

“Why are you still here talking to me, son? Take me home, and then go see her. There's only one woman in the world who can help you sort this out, and she ain't me.”

Blunt as hell. Never failed to respect it.

I swallowed the rage and confusion building in my throat, nodding.

We walked to my truck without saying another word. Kept it that way the whole way into town, listening to the radio to avoid the awkward silence.

I let Ma off and waved, waiting 'til she got inside before I revved my truck's engine, and peeled out of her driveway. My hands shook like a motherfucker as I held the wheel, sheer emotion tearing through me, a fuckin' lifetime of hell trying to work its way out before I flipped it on its ass.

Bringing Hannah closer upended everything. But fuck if I'd get cold feet now, or let her slip away, all because the past kept me from making the moves I should.

No more half-assing it. No more regrets, just like Ma said. I'd march into her mansion, sweep her off her feet, and have her right by my side while we took the joys, the sorrows, and everything else a man and woman should. Long as they did it together.

“I'm coming, darlin'. This time for good,” I whispered into the darkness. “Get ready. I ain't leaving 'til I see you wearing PROPERTY OF DUST with a smile on your face.”