58. Jae

Epilogue

The next day

When Tyler first approached me with the idea of a get together for Dax's birthday, I laughed in his face. Not because it was funny, but I knew how much Dax would hate it.

I was just as surprised when he didn't.

He still struggles at times, he doesn't like being around people when he's outside the shop as much, but he's slowly building up to it and he makes me proud every day.

When he first got the diagnosis, I saw the fear in his eyes. It was as though his ocean blues were swallowed by something darker, a barrier of some kind. And I tried endlessly to break it down. But his determination will never cease to amaze me. He thought he was broken when he just needed me to prove to him, he was nothing of the sort.

My side has mostly healed now, the scar isn't pretty, but it's nothing compared to the pain of being without Dax and so I wear it with pride.

My own personal badge of honour.

However, my happiness from the night before was short-lived when I approached Bernie's with a huge ‘SOLD' sign plastered across the window on the outside. Bernie has mentioned to me the last few weeks about wanting to sell, I was waiting for the right time to approach him about the idea of me buying the shop from him.

I thought I had more time. I didn't think it would sell this quickly.

And for the first time since working with Bernie, I turn around before I get close to the shop, deciding to go back home with my heart feeling like it's been strung out of my chest.

But I don't decide to go home, I decide to go to the one place I know will make everything better.

The cliffs.

The waves crash violently as I stare into the far distance. Different tones of blues fighting with one another almost as though they are mimicking the thoughts in my mind.

For the last year, working alongside Bernie in the florist brought out a passion in me I never knew existed. I started to understand the beauty he and Dax saw in the flowers around us, and in turn, I think they also helped me understand them more too.

I'd mentioned to Dax the same day Bernie told me he was going to sell about my plans to purchase and he was completely onside with me. Telling me how he also thought it was the perfect role for me and he couldn't imagine me anywhere else.

I don't want him to hurt knowing he's sold it too.

"Everything will be okay, won't it Alice?" I whisper into the wind.

As though she's responding to me in her own way, I hear the crackling sound of a motorbike coming towards the cliff.

A few months ago, the council built a footpath directly to the cliffs which meant you no longer had to walk through the graveyard. Dax, however, takes it into his own hands when no one's around and uses it to drive straight to the cliffs on his bike.

Not wanting him to see the sorrow on my face, I muster a fake smile, and turn and greet the love of my life, because if anyone can make anything better, it's him.

He always knows what to do.

No matter the sadness I feel in my heart right now, he always brings the happiness out of me.

"I knew you'd be here," he says as he climbs from his bike, slowly removing his helmet from his head.

"Am I that predictable?"

"Nope. You've just learnt where to run from me."

Run from him? If only he really knew just how much he's in my heart, under my skin.

I could never run away from him, and I'd never want to.

I don't need to turn around to know he's behind me, I can feel him breathing on the back of my neck, "I saw the sign on the shop. I'm sorry."

Me too, baby.

"It's okay. It happens. Maybe I can open my own place somewhere else."

"You could. But you don't need to do that."

"Excuse me?"

His face turns crimson red when he blushes. The colour of my favourite flower, a red rose, and I find myself unable to take my eyes away.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." My brows draw together at his words.

Taking my hand, he guides me to the edge of the cliff. His favourite spot to go when he needs to think. Which has also become mine.

My hair has started getting a bit longer now, the curls forming around my face. He gently moves his hand up to touch one with his fingers, staring in awe as he does so.

"I'm sorry you're upset about seeing the sign on the shop and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it sooner. I wanted to tell you before you saw it. I didn't want you to be upset," he confesses. "I've known all along about Bernie wanting to sell the shop. Well, I haven't, Tyler has. He overheard him talking to Cee about it in the café a few months ago and immediately ran back and told me what he'd heard." He brings his hands away from my curls.

"Him and Novah placed bets against me actually, they thought I'd tell you a lot sooner than I had," he continues to speak as he swirls his fingers round in circular motions, trying to keep himself distracted so he doesn't stop what he's saying.

The urge I have to take hold of his hands rushes through me, but I know I can't, or he'll stop.

"I've been planning this for a while. I was already getting everything drawn up before you started working with Bernie. Ace has been in and out of town a lot, it's handy knowing a lawyer when you're buying another shop."

"Why did you buy – what do you mean you bought another shop?"

"I saw the sparkle in your eyes when I first saw you in the flower garden back home. I've noticed the way you watch them, the way they speak to you. The comfort they give you. I recognise it because they do the same to me, and to Bernie. Tyler has been helping me arrange this all along. I know how much you didn't want to stay at home all the time and I hated dragging you to work with me, so I bought the shop."

He pauses for a moment and slowly lifts his eyes, bringing them to mine, offering me a warm smile.

"You worked so hard to make sure my dreams come true, and I had to repay you somehow. I knew you would be the perfect person to take over the shop all along." His voice goes silent towards the end, as he reaches back up to the curl falling in my face and pushes it away.

"But a shop? I can't take a shop."

"Already done. It's in your name. Everything's paid." He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a key. But glistening in the light is the silver sunflower charm Idah made for me, along with two other silver items on chains in his hand.

"Dog tags?"

He nods. "One for you, one for me. You gave yours to help me at a time when I needed it the most. Since we're going to be apart from each other more now that you have your own shop, I asked Idah to remake us some new ones with some added extras."

Taking the key and the dog tags from his hand, I bring them close, taking in the details. A small star lies next to our names, instead of an identification number, celestial coordinates take their place. Underneath, a few words stand out – The night I showed you the stars – shines brightly on the silver plate of metal.

I look up to him, my beautiful man has come so far. He's grown from being afraid of life, to loving it. He no longer hides himself away, but he embraces everything that he's become.

He just does it in his own unique way.

"But there's one more thing I need to ask of you, my sunshine." His eyes water, blue oceans looking upon me. "This is probably the hardest of them all."

He takes a deep breath, ignoring the tears falling from his eyes.

"You saw me in a crowd when no one else did. You brought the light back that I thought was snuffed out. Before you, I thought the world was grey and white, but you brought colour back into my life. I don't want to do anything else without you. You taught me how to be unafraid of life, unafraid of being autistic. But instead, hold on tightly and embrace it. And I can't lose you again."

Without another word, he takes my chin, pulling my mouth to meet his, pressing his lips against mine as I melt into his touch. My senses are taken over by him. Nothing else matters, but him. Memories when I thought I'd lost him flash through my mind but are quickly erased with each gentle touch from his lips. He pulls me closer to his body as he pulls away from my mouth. Moving towards the side of my neck, he places another kiss, and the only thing I can hear apart from the waves in the horizon, are the words, "So, soldier, are you ready to start your next mission with me?"