51. Dax

Chapter fifty-one

Dax

"I'm coming home, pretty boy. I'm coming back to you."

Behind Jae's house lies an open field guarded by similar green trees to the ones out front – tall oak trees with different shades of green coming from the branches. I've spent the last week sneaking out to ensure I'd be able to wrap lights around them the way I wanted, the exact image in my head. Ty has been in on the plan too; he came to wrap them around the trees yesterday while me and Jae were in the shop. He, at first, smirked at the idea but as always, he didn't question it. When we both saw it come to life, I didn't need to explain for him to understand. He saw the beauty for himself.

"Wow, they're going to look amazing when the lights are turned on. I think he's going to love it, Dax. I've never seen a side to you like this before. He brings out a side to you I didn't know existed and for that, I'll forever be grateful," Tyler says as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I just wish I could do something more – he deserves so much. This isn't enough."

He smiles at me in a way I've never noticed him do before. It's a lazy smile, and his face softens. It's a smile I'd seen from Mum many times, and seeing him do it reminds me just how much he looks like her.

"Do you think she'd be happy, Ty? Do you think she's proud?"

He lets out a deep breath. His shoulders start to relax.

"I think she's the proudest mum in the sky, D. I know I'm definitely the proudest brother here. The person Jae brings out of you, I couldn't be more thankful for. You're you again. You're the same person you've always been but you have a sparkle to you, a light. I don't know how he does it, But he keeps it aflame. And you keep his aflame too. Together you burn bright. I think Mum will be able to see that. She'll see how happy the two of you make each other. She'll know you're safe."

A tear comes to his eye, as it always does when we speak about Mum. Ty doesn't speak about her as often, he works too hard on being the strong one. But I know how much losing her has affected him. Affected us both.

And I remind myself, I don't show him how grateful I am for him.

And I need to do something to change that.

Taking a step back, I praise myself, appreciating the lights hanging from the trees and the flowers in a vase on the table underneath. The twinkling in the trees replicates the stars perfectly and I'm happy my vision for this went to plan, because not everything else did.

After my earlier disaster of putting a chicken in the oven, releasing two hours later I never turned it on, I decided to order in; Jae doesn't like sushi like I do, criminal. He does, however, love Chinese takeout. So, the house special chow mein came to the rescue five minutes ago, exactly the same time he texted me telling me he was on his way home from work.

I feel overwhelmed and I feel exhausted.

And I'm going to blame it all on the chicken I angrily threw in the trash after realising it wasn't cooking after all.

I'm quickly brought back to reality when I hear Jae's car engine pull up outside, instantly rushing to the trees to make sure the lights are turned off, then make my way inside to draw the curtains to block the view.

His deep voice echoes in the corridor, just as I take the plates and cutlery from the cupboard to bring to the coffee table in front of the TV. "Something smells good, pretty boy." My skin instantly forms goosebumps.

Turning around, I see him appear through the door frame, his face softening when he comes into view of me. Butterflies start to swarm my stomach; an overwhelming sensation of love and longing starts to rise. The way the light reflects from his skin, begging for me to come closer, the way his lips form the most ravishing smile and the way his emerald green eyes, remind me that I'm home.

He's perfect.

He rounds the sofas before sitting down, coming to press a kiss to my forehead. "Thank you, baby. You didn't have to order takeout. We could have made something together."

I never want to cook again after the disaster I've had today.

"I just wanted to do something nice. I think we both deserve a treat," I hum as he pulls away from me, distracting myself before I have the chance to pull his lips to mine.

Taking the plates from my hand, he lays them down side by side onto the table and starts plating the food up from the trays already laid out.

"Coming home to you is my treat, but thank you. I love this. And you." He smiles, licking the fork while staring at me with hooded eyes.

I feel my cheeks heat as I take a seat next to him on the sofa, picking up my own plate and slowly starting to enjoy the burst of flavours in my mouth. I've always struggled with eating and trying new things before I met Jae, it's his doing that I enjoy the food I do now. He always encouraged me to try new things and experience new tastes. It's always been a texture thing – I still struggle with certain things now and I still don't eat the wide variety of food he does, but he's helped me to enjoy food again.

We decide not to turn the TV on as we sit together and eat. Instead, we talk about each other's days, I tell him about Tyler and Novah, and he laughs telling me he also assumed there was something going on between the two of them. He then goes on to tell me about his day in the florist and about how Bernie has mentioned he hopes someone takes the shop after him who will keep the dream alive and I smile because I know my sunshine would be the perfect person for that. I knew he would enjoy being around Bernie, even I enjoy being around him. He knows a lot about flowers, almost as much as me.

Another thing I need to thank Ty for.

"Thank you for ordering food, Dax, it was perfect. Who'd have known I'd turn you into a romantic," I hear him say as I put the last of the dishes into the dishwasher.

I laugh at the confession, because it's true.

And he doesn't even know half of it yet.

"It must be dark outside now, why don't we go sit in the garden and watch the stars?" He stands, making his way towards the window, wanting to check outside.

I instantly close the dishwasher with a slam, not caring to press the on button as I dart across the room and throw myself in front of the curtain. "No, we can't do that."

"Of course we can, why can't we?" he asks with a confused look on his face.

"What if it's not dark enough yet?"

"That's why I was going towards the window, but you threw yourself in front of it, I can't check if it's dark if you won't let me."

"But what if it's too dark and we can't see anything?"

"Why can't I look out of the window, what's happened? Why are you acting strange?" he asks with both confusion and sadness.

"I mean, I am hiding something from you, but it isn't what you think." I sigh as I start to play with the dog tags around my neck.

His face no longer shows a combination of confusion and sadness, but now only shows the one I hate the most.

Pain.

I can't hurt him again.

"Close your eyes."

"If I close my eyes I can't –"

"Jae Summers, close your goddamn eyes."

His face instantly shifts from sadness into a shocked expression. "Bossy. I like it." He covers his eyes with his hands.

Taking a hold of his forearms in each hand, I slowly bring him towards the back door, removing one to turn the handle, slowly pushing it open. I can hear his chest rising, faster and faster so I don't want to keep his hands over his eyes for too long, sensing he's uncomfortable.

Removing both of my arms quickly, I turn to face the lights and the flowers to take a final glance before I tell him to remove his hands, but completely forget to do so when all I can say is, "Wow."

It's not until I feel his arm come around my side, placing onto my hip that I realise he's now removed his hands from his eyes too.

"Wow," he whispers in disbelief. I look over to him, seeing his face light up. The colour of the lights reflecting in his eyes. "When did you do this? How did you do this?" His voice starts to break. "Why did you do this? I mean it's beautiful. But you didn't have to do any of this, Dax."

"I know I didn't, but I wanted to. I was going to suggest we could go to the cliffs together to see the stars but after talking to Ty, I thought I'd bring the stars to us."

Above our heads, hundreds of small fairy lights are scattered up high, mimicking the stars in the sky. Some strings are wrapped around the branches in contrast to those hanging at different heights. Ty told me it wasn't an easy job, I noticed it wasn't when he came back looking at though he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. We covered the lie, saying he'd been to the gym when Jae asked.

He's too busy looking at the lights above, focusing on them twinkling in the dark to notice the flowers on the table in front of him, but I notice he's finally paid attention to them when he lets out a shallow gasp. "How did you know I had my eyes on these? You wouldn't have known, unless –"

"Who do you think asked Bernie to make the bouquet in the first place?" I beam. Feeling full of pride.

He's speechless.

I've finally made him speechless.

He pads his feet across the ground, making his way towards the flowers, gently running his fingers across the petals, feeling the velvet texture on his skin.

And I can't help but stand and stare.

At him, the lights, the flowers, the stars, everything .

"So beautiful," he says, taking in everything around him.

"Yeah, you are," I reply. Unable to take my eyes away from him.

I feel my heart starting to race, it's as though the butterflies in my stomach have started to overtake and are now in full control of my body. There's so much I want to say, so much I want to do. But I struggle to make one word come from my mouth.

As though he senses it without me saying a word, he turns his back to the lights and bouquet and makes his way towards me, taking my hand in his own. I move my head down to look at where they're joined together. And fuck, my heart feels as though at any given moment, it could explode.

He completes me.

"Hey, pretty boy, what's wrong? Breathe with me, okay? One... Two... Three."

He always grounds me.

I look up at him, eyes wide open, still unable to speak, unable to breathe, just admiring who's standing in front of me.

He lets go of me, moving behind me instead, wrapping his arms around my waist, bending down slightly because of the height difference, resting his head in the crook of my shoulder. "I wished every night you know." He inhales a deep breath. "Every night I was away from you, I looked up at the stars and wished to come back home. And my wish came true."

And I'm certain my heart has just leapt from my chest.

We stand for the next fifteen minutes. Watching the lights and the stars twinkle in the sky above, not wanting to leave each other's embrace,

Until it starts to rain.