17. Darius

Chapter seventeen

Darius

I ’m awake before Everleigh. I know I’ve overslept and that whatever meetings I had scheduled to conference into this morning have been shot to shit, but I’m not worried about it. Hans will handle it and say that I’m sick or something or busy with other things and will get back to it when I have a chance. He’s covered for me before, but not for something like this.

I wake up harder than when I went to sleep, and I’m not sure how that’s possible except maybe because of morning wood. I don’t want to scare Everleigh or have her think I’m a pervert just lying there awake with a big boner so close to her while she’s sleeping, so I slip out of bed and walk to the dresser to find a pair of boxers to put on.

After that, I make a quick detour to the bathroom, and I feel a little bit like a kid in the backyard searching for buried treasure and actually finding something because I score a small metallic packet out of one of the drawers by the sink.

I find Everleigh sitting up in bed with the sheets held to her chest when I get back into the bedroom, her cheeks a delightful and beautiful pink that the sunlight coming through the heavy drapes highlights with hues of gold. Her eyes glisten in that beam of sunlight, and she looks like a damn angel.

I hold up the packet. “Umm, I happened to find another one of these if you’re interested. I mean, if you’re not…sore or anything. We could also save it for whenever you want.” Her eyes get huge and immediately drop down to my waist. Well, not exactly my waist, but more like the massive erection testing the tactile strength of my boxers. “I was thinking maybe a shower might be a nice way to wake up.”

“I was right,” she whispers, licking slowly along her bottom lip. “You have a fabulous ass.” I turn around and ogle myself, which makes her laugh. I love the sound of her laughter. It’s so soft and pretty. Magical. Just like her waking up next to me in my bed. “And I think I lost because that, sir, is a very big rug burn.”

I reach around and rub at the tender spot on the small of my back, right at the top of my butt cheeks. “Ouch. You’re right.”

She wriggles her brows at me. “Come and get me and take me to the shower, and I’ll rub it better. With my tongue.”

“I’d rather use my tongue to make you come apart like a pro,” I tease her.

“Oh really? You’re the orgasm master now?” she quips.

The best part about going to bed naked is waking up naked. I walk over to Everleigh and peel the sheets away, claiming my prize, which happens to be Everleigh’s smart, lush mouth with lips that are sinfully kissable. Then, I sweep the rest of her up into my arms, too, and carry her to the bathroom and get the shower going. It’s a rich-person shower with an overhead spray, jets on the side, and a bench in there, you know, just in case showering is too much and you need to sit down for a break. After my surgeries, I often need to take a break because showering is often too much.

We step in together, and Everleigh practically tears my boxers away. The spray hits both of us, but more so me, landing right in my face and temporarily blinding me. She takes full advantage of that momentary lapse in sight to get on her knees, grasp my cock in her hand, and guide me to her mouth.

“Holy god, Ev…I thought I was supposed to be the one tonguing you to destruction.”

“Destruction or distraction?”

“Both? Oh wow…” Her hands trace the outline of my thighs like she might be impressed with what she finds there. I can’t say I’m big on leg day, but I was blessed in the genetic department. Uh, more than just…well, the obvious. I have nice legs, is what I’m trying to say. Naturally. She runs her palms up and down them a few times, feeling the ridges of muscle for herself, and at the same time, she uses her tongue on my cock, licking me from the base all the way to the tip.

“Mmmm,” she purrs. “I like the way you taste.”

If she planned this sneak attack that’s going to lead to me being on my knees, she’s just about achieved that goal because my cock kicks in her mouth, getting even harder. My breathing is practically at a frantic level, my chest pumping in and out rapidly. She’s doing things to my cock that make me see the next galaxy over from this one as well as all the stars and stuff that belong in our solar system. She sucks me almost all the way to the back of her throat, and the woman has next to no gag reflex because when she pulls back and looks up at me, she smiles like this is the best breakfast she’s ever had. She cups my balls with her other hand while she works my dick, concentrating on the head this time.

“Ev…” My fingers are tangling in her wet hair. The water pours over me, running down my torso and going straight to my junk, and she’s licking all the droplets off, as well as whatever droplets I’m coating her tongue with, swallowing it all.

I realize through the haze in my head and the pleasure that’s making my whole body throb that I still have the condom tucked between my fingers. I run my fingers under Everleigh’s chin, turning her face up.

“Gotta stand up,” I pant. “So I can put this on and punish you for sneaking that one in.”

“Ooh, punish me?” She grins, her eyes sparkling. “Sounds like fun. What did you have in mind? Splitting me in half with that monster appendage of yours?”

Oh my god. “I have no idea because when you say things like that, I can’t think. And I’m sorry I have such a big member. It can’t be comfortable.”

She stands up, shaking her head. “You’re not sorry, and neither am I. I like how it hurts. I like it a lot. But I’d like it a lot more if you put that condom on and make good on your threats while I soap up your hair with the manly-smelling shampoo in that bottle behind you.” She points it out.

I tear open the package and try my best to work with the condom, which can only be described as extremely old, though not expired, and the deluge of the shower. The water actually makes things harder, not easier. The condom is a slippery bitch, and my dick is…well, we’ve already talked about that. It’s not easy to fit into the damn thing.

“How do you know the shampoo is manly smelling? Maybe I like washing my hair in roses?”

“It says cedar and apples on the bottle. I’m pretty sure that would be manly scented.”

“Alright, fine, it’s manly scented,” I admit, letting out a small laugh.

“Is the condom manly scented too?”

“The condom is fucking frustrating,” I growl impatiently.

Everleigh’s hands find mine. She takes the condom from me, stretches it at the tip, then the base, and neatly slides it over my pounding, hard erection. I close my eyes and sigh at the feel of her hand working that evil bastard of a love glove over my length. Getting a condom put on should not feel this good, but it does feel this good. It feels really fucking amazing.

Once it’s in place, Everleigh grabs my shoulders and leaps up, pulling me off center such that she slams against the wall of the glass shower. I wrap my arms around her ass in a hurry, but she’s already got me, squeezing her legs around my waist and holding on tight. She giggles and raises her hands over her head, which gives me just about an eye-level view of her gorgeous breasts and dark pink nipples. I take full advantage of them since it would be a sin not to. I taste one and then the other, and she bucks against me and the shower door, our wet skin making noises together that might be considered strange, though I think they’re hot.

I capture her mouth next when she’s ready and panting. I kiss the heck out of her and also the breath out of her. She wriggles against me, and somehow, my cock ends up exactly where it needs to be without either one of us guiding it there.

“Are you okay?” I whisper against her mouth, a thread of control left.

“Definitely.”

“You’re not sore from yesterday?” I ask, feeling concerned.

“Oh, I am. But that’s what’s going to make it good.”

I want to make a startled sound, but she tugs my face back to hers and kisses me hard as I flex my hips and sink inside her. She rides me just as hard, bucking between the glass and my drenched body while taking all of me in one smooth stroke. I’m not so worried about fitting now because last night we proved that I’m able to. She’s clearly not worried about it either because she’s not hesitating in the least. She’s rolling her hips against me, which produces a long growl that rumbles out of my chest before tearing straight into her because she kisses the sound out of my mouth.

She’s heaven. So fucking tight and so fucking epically right. It’s too good, and I know it’s going to be over too soon. She’s too tight, gripping my dick just right, whimpering and thrashing against me, and still riding me even though she’s the one pressed against the wall. Her hips roll into me and hit the glass, over and over. The shower is already hot and steamy, but I’m pretty sure I might actually be sweating with the effort of holding back. It’s noisy in here. Our breaths are loud, and the sounds of our bodies are also loud and perfect and beautiful.

“Going to come,” I growl, really hoping that she gets there first, seeing as we only have about ten seconds if we’re lucky.

“Me too,” she pants.

Thank every galaxy out there.

She somehow manages to get her hand between us, and while I’m thrusting in and out of her, she circles her clit, not rubbing gently. She throws her head back, the water pours over us, and she shatters just like that. Her walls clench around me, doing things to my cock that feel like paradise. The spasms of her climax also feel like they’re going to tear the condom off, and while I know that won’t happen, it also makes me panic a little, and I feel justified in lasting less than a minute because we can’t afford any condom slippage or accidents.

I come with a roar, gasping out my pleasure as I pin Everleigh to the glass and bruise her lips with mine.

She grips my shoulders, still writhing around me for a few seconds while we both come back from the brink of ecstasy. “Shit,” she pants into my ear and then playfully licks it so I don’t feel like I need to freeze and salvage my dignity with a manly show of some kind of other prowess that makes her come over and over again. “I thought we were supposed to be punishing each other. That wasn’t a punishment. That was really good. Oh my god, that was so good.”

“Thank goodness for that. Sorry, I—” really need to work on my stamina.

“Don’t say sorry. It was perfect and so, so good, Darius. My pussy is perfectly happy, thank you very much.”

I throw a hand against the glass and let out another feral groan. “I wish we had more condoms.”

“Later. Store. I’ll get more.”

The thought of her having to buy them makes me feel embarrassed, even though I don’t know why. Certainly, a woman can purchase a box of condoms. I put her down carefully and gently and then step out to take care of the condom. When I’m back, she’s ready with the shampoo—already in a pile on her palm—and one raised brow.

“You can dish it out, Mr. Hottie. Let’s see if you can take it.”

I can take it. I let her work the shampoo through my hair, and she kneads her fingers into my scalp, which feels like heaven. I do the same for her, washing her hair carefully and making sure I don’t get suds in her eyes. Then, I turn the shower off, and we both wrap up in the huge white bath towels that I love. I might not care about much else in the house, but I have a thing for towels. They have to be huge and fluffy. I guess I’m a bit of a towel snob.

After we leave the bathroom with both of us wrapped up in identical towels—mine at my waist and Everleigh’s tucked under her armpits—I feel a little bit like the levity of earlier has worn off, and the things I need to talk to her about, the things I started to say last night, should probably be said. I wait until we’re both sitting on the edge of the bed, and then I just start.

“I’m going to have that surgery,” I say, trying to keep the emotion behind that out of my voice. I don’t want to do it, but how can I say no? I decided yesterday, and I called my doctor to schedule it. I don’t have a date yet, but I’m sure they’ll do it pretty fast.

“Oh my god.” The playfulness drops from her voice, and I instantly miss it. I regret leading off with that. It’s not a great post-coital glow kind of discussion. “Are you going to be okay? I’ll be here. For after, I mean. I’m not sure what happens after, but I’m here, Darius.”

Unable to look at her, I study the sheets intently before saying, “That’s the thing, Ev. I think you should go to your mom and sister’s house.”

“I…I don’t understand.” I can hear the shock and sadness in her voice, and I hate that she sounds disappointed in me.

“I want you to have as much time with them as possible. I know I said nothing will happen to Heather, and I firmly believe that. But how can I steal your time with her? She needs you right now. Those treatments aren’t easy, and she’s probably not feeling very well. She needs her big sister. She needs you a lot more than I need you.”

“But…but you want me here, don’t you?”

Yes! Desperately. More than you know. More than is probably right. More than my heart and soul are actually ready for, but you’re here anyway, so fast that it’s stolen my breath completely and changed my entire life.

“What I want shouldn’t factor into it,” I say.

“Darius!” Everleigh’s voice is sharp, and she’s obviously angry. “Don’t sacrifice yourself. Being the one who gets stepped on all the time isn’t attractive.”

I glance toward the other side of the room, away from the sunbeams coming in through the window by the bed, and stare into the dark corners. That’s probably where I belong. That’s where I’ve grown used to hiding. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Don’t!” She throws her towel off and storms around the room, snatching up her pajamas and throwing them on.

I very pointedly don’t watch her do that because it’s not right to. I don’t know how to salvage this. I’m making a mess of it, and it hurts. My throat feels raw, my chest feels raw, I feel raw.

“Don’t do that. Don’t be all like, ‘I’m the good one here. I’m doing this all for you. I’m the good one, and this is for the best. I’m considering you above all else.’ Because that just sounds like you’re saying you had sex with me, and now you want me out of your house without saying it out loud,” she snaps.

My eyes wrench up to her face. She’s standing at the end of the bed with her hands on her hips, and fuck, she’s furious. I’m also getting not so hot in the feelings department, but I’m not mad. I just feel sick. “That’s not what I mean. If you remember, before we had sex, I suggested that you spend some time in Philly, so this isn’t about that. I’m certainly not kicking you out. I don’t want you to leave.”

“Really? Then come with me.”

“You know it’s hard for me to do that,” I tell her with a sigh.

“Have Hans sedate you. You can bring your work shit and everything you need. Come for a week.” Her eyes flash as they scan over me, and fuck, I feel like such a colossal fuck up right now. I wanted this to be something I gave to her because she needed it. I saw how sad she was after her mom and sister left, so I wanted this to be a gift to her, but it definitely doesn’t feel that way at all. Instead, it feels all twisted and wrong.

“I have the surgery coming up, and I’ll need physio after and—”

“I think that’s the real reason you don’t want me here. Because you don’t want me to see you that way after the surgery.”

“What? No. That’s not it at all.”

“Just tell me why you want me gone, then. Didn’t what we did last night mean anything? Or maybe it did, and that’s why you want some space. Because you’re scared of what you’re feeling, and you want to put a damper on it. I get that it’s not in the contract, and you don’t want babies for real. You just want it to be exactly how we planned it.”

I stand up slowly so that she won’t bolt. I don’t clear my face, but I do let her see how anguished I am at her saying things like that and even thinking it. I put my head in my hands and take a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say to fix this. “Honestly, that’s not what I want. I’m confused, but I don’t really need space. Yes, what we just did meant something. It meant a lot of things to me. If you don’t want to go to Philly, that’s okay. I just thought you did. I thought I was giving you something you needed. I wasn’t trying to hurt you or your feelings or push you away. The contract can go to hell for all I care because I want to date you, Everleigh. That’s what I want.

“I want to be normal for you, to be a better man for you. I want my brain and shoulder fixed, even if you’re willing to take me as I am. I want to do good things because that would make the world better for everyone, but mostly, I’d be doing it for you. I want to know about your life and what you like. I want more sandwiches with you, more late-night kitchen visits with you, more rug burns with you, and more devil cats with you. I like your family, and I like you. Maybe this wasn’t supposed to go that way, but that’s where I’m at, and that’s entirely the truth.”

The sick feeling settles into my gut and leaches into my bones. I feel heavy, though not like a panic attack kind of heavy. Just…bad, so I sink back down on the bed.

I think it must show because Everleigh doesn’t tell me to go to hell. She doesn’t give me the double birds, just one bird, or even so much as a sarcastic hair toss. Instead, she very slowly crosses over to the bed and kneels at my feet. I have my elbows on my knees, and I’m pressing my fingers against my closed eyes because that seems to help the pounding in my head. Her small hands land on my knees, palms down. She cups my kneecaps, and I had no idea something like that could feel so good or shred me to my soul.

“I’m sorry.” She bows her head and kisses my right knee. “I’m freaking out, and I’m sorry. I’m taking things that aren’t your fault out on you. We just had this great sex, and then what you said felt like an immediate rejection.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started off with that. I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not, and you’re also right. I do want to go and see my family. I want to spend time with them. But I think if you truly don’t want me to leave, I can plan to go after your surgery or before it and also be here for you. Even if you just need someone to tell you that you look like you’re drowning in the pool, to make you sandwiches, to snuggle with and watch movies in bed, or just to talk or whatever. I’ll make it work. Unless—”

“There is no unless. I want that. I want you here.” I let my hands fall to her shoulders, and I pull her up off her knees. I set her on mine instead, and she throws her arms around my neck and hangs on. She smells like sunlight, not so early mornings, my sheets, my bed, herself, and me, and I love inhaling all that. My heart physically aches at her proximity, but not in a bad way.

“I know I’ve had you for your money already,” she murmurs and sniffles into my neck, and fuck, she’s crying, and I don’t want her to cry, but she doesn’t sound sad exactly, so maybe she’s okay. Ugh, I’m total shit with this. “But I’d like to have you for more than that. Just as you.”

“Well, just as me might not be so great because, as you can see, I seem to be quite a numbskull when it comes to knowing how to navigate this.”

“Considering how mad I got when you were just trying to care about me, I’d say we’re equally matched.”

She finally backs up, and the sight of her tearstained cheeks with those silvery gold tracks and the sunlight spilling over her whole face and glistening eyes, the almost smile on her lips, her mussed hair, and her body, which is still almost sleep warm, makes me dizzy. Something special wraps around me—a feeling of peace I haven’t had for a long time, except when I’m with Everleigh.

What would it be like to trust in another person? To put your life into their hands, to even want to think about doing that, and to want to do a lot of stuff together.

I don’t know, but I want to find out. I want to find out if we can make contracts and arranged marriages and romance, loving grandmas aside.

“Everleigh, I’d like to ask you out on a date,” I announce solemnly. The effect of my seriousness is probably lost because I’m also fresh from sleep myself and sitting here in boxers on the rumpled bed. Maybe that’s what makes her eyes shine when she looks at me—the unguarded, wholesome truthfulness of the moment. “And I’d like there to be other dates after. Proper ones. Here, or somewhere else. I’d also like to visit your family. Yes, even if I have to be sedated or partially sedated to get there. I’m going to keep working on it, though. I’ve got some books to read and some videos to watch, and maybe I’ll even break down and talk to someone. But not to fix my head,” I say before she can cut in and tell me I don’t need to do that. “Just to help with the panic, control it, and keep it to a manageable level. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to ride in a vehicle without freaking out, but maybe one day. And that would open up a lot of possibilities.”

“Well, until then, I’m perfectly fine with the options open to us now. You look like you might need a walking partner, so if the position is open, I’d like to apply.”

I’ve been on my own for so long that I forgot what this feels like. How to be strong for someone and how to be a united unit. I’ve never really had that with anyone before because the relationships I had before the accident weren’t serious. Definitely not share my life with someone kind of serious.

“The position is all yours.”

The expression on her face as she watches me is so pure that it makes my heart wrench and ache and throb. I feel like it could tear out and go soaring out the window to find the source of that sunshine.

“I’d like to accept it, then. And I accept your date idea. Do you think we can forget we’re married and just have fun?” she asks.

“I think so. I’d like to do that. Have fun with you and date you. I’d like to keep doing what we’ve been doing, which is being friends. And more, now, if you want to continue that trend.”

She nods bravely. “There doesn’t need to be an expiry date on this. Even if your brother kind of tricked me and stood in for you, I got something pretty good in exchange, and I’m not talking about the money, the usage of the private jet, the wardrobe full of clothes that I didn’t expect to like, or even this big old house I didn’t think I’d like either, or even Hans. I’m talking about you.”

“Hans will be so disappointed,” I reply, grinning.

She laughs, a bubbly sound that is pure joy, and I’m not disappointed I got her to produce that for me. “Where is he really from anyway?”

Hans would be extra disappointed if I gave his secret away since he takes such joy from the fake accents, so I use his favorite line, the one I’ve heard him utter over and over again. “Oh, a little of here, a little of there.”

Everleigh rolls her eyes and swats me on the shoulder. “You, sir, need to be punished for the amount of sarcasm you think is okay to use. Also, I need to punish you because you don’t have a permit.”

“For what?” I ask cautiously. She’s being playful now, and I can only imagine.

“For having an unleashed beast in your shorts.” Her eyes drop. “Or, well, your towel.”

“Oh Christ.” I didn’t know it was possible to blush this hard. “I’m sorry about that. I really—”

“Don’t apologize,” she whispers near my ear as she leans against me and pushes me down onto the bed. I hang my legs over the side and let her straddle my chest and push me into the bed. She kisses me thoroughly and spectacularly, and I’m reminded that we have approximately zero condoms left.

“I’m going to have to take a long walk to the store to get more supplies before we can do it again,” I say to her.

Everleigh smirks at me and kisses my lips, my cheeks, my chin, and then back to my mouth. The kiss is fire this time, and all my afternoon meetings are going to have to be rescheduled as well. But I’m not sorry at all.

“I could take my car and go get something later.” She scrapes her teeth over my bottom lip, and I nearly jackknife off the bed. She holds on, wrapping her legs around my waist as I sit up. “But where would the fun be in that? It’s a nice day, and a long walk filled with stimulating conversation sounds like an excellent first-date idea. How about this evening?”

“This evening? It’s now the middle of the morning. What are we going to do until then?”

She’s all soft as she reaches down and takes my hands in hers, holding them between us. She’s balanced on my lap, but she’s also relying on me to keep her firm and steady. I’m always going to be there to do that for her. To keep her solid and support her. And inevitably, when I fall on my ass, I know she’ll be there to joke about it, make rug burn challenges, and make the best of it without making me feel like a total dork.

Everleigh has taught me that I’m so much more than collateral damage. I’m not just some weird rich guy who can’t ride in cars and shuts himself away in an old kind of creepy house. I’m not someone whom no one will ever see because they can’t see past the money or my eccentricities.

“Hmm.” She pretends to consider, but I see the evil magic working behind her light blue eyes. “Think of all the ways we could do beast taming without love gloves?”

“My lord, Mrs. Anderson, you have quite the mouth.”

“And you, Mr. Bradford Darius Anderson the Second, quite enjoy it.”