41. Nat

41

Nat

what was the question again?

The elevator doors slide apart with a soft ding, revealing an empty car. Sin sets me down on the chrome and then moves as far as he can from me in the tiny space. The doors close and seal us in a temporary bubble of silence.

Ichor drips from my neck over my chest and splashes on the shiny floor, hisses as it eats at the metal.

Sin jabs the button for the sixth floor. The location of the vaults.

He wants me to be selfish.

Doesn’t realize how I already am.

Taking the bullet was for me because I couldn’t let him die, couldn’t let him land in the Underworld and be tortured.

His ragged words from last night circle. I’m a fucking liar. I didn’t know.

Sin stopped us last night because he thought he was compelling me.

He pulled away, then pushed me away.

More . When I listed things I hated about him, he encouraged it.

Keep going.

As if he was attempting to counteract it.

I steal a sideways glance at him. His raw, open hands hang limp and wrecked at his sides. My blood has eaten through his shirt, corroded flesh, leaving his chest pink and burned.

Once again, his Olympian line has saved him.

I should leave it alone. Leave us like this. Angry and mad, and broken by what we’ve done.

I can’t.

“I wanted to kiss you.”

To my surprise, the corner of Sin’s perfect mouth lifts in a rueful half-smile. Bloody, miserable, and arrogant. “Yes, I’m aware you think you did.”

“I did.”

That smile drops. “You rejected me. Thank Hades you did. I don’t—” He exhales harshly. “We’re lucky you’re strong. You said no just in time for me to pull back, if I hadn’t …”

“I didn’t stop because I don’t want you. I was terrified I’d hurt you. I’m going to hurt you. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want you.”

His nostrils flare, eyes harden. His words fall like petals off a dying flower. “I can make you feel that Nat, and don’t say I don’t affect you, I’ve seen it. I’ve watched you fall into me, and fuck, maybe I knew you could and that’s why I did it.”

“I will choke you to death if you do not let me speak, dammit. You don’t effect me as you believe you do. I make my own choices and I—”

“Do you?” He’s on me then, crowding me in his looming beautiful glory. Heaving and bleeding. “Do you make your choices? Or do I? You want to fuck me right now?” A wave of cool air washes over me, stinging my neck. “You want to fuck me like a dirty slave? Begging for my cock, pawing for me, utterly fucking desperate. You want to get on those knees? Knees you don’t bend? Unable to help yourself. Gagging on me?”

Heat suffuses me.

He stares at me, and almost as if he’s unable to contain himself, he strokes his hand into my hair, tips me back until lips hover above mine.

“You’re an conceited bastard,” I hiss through gritted teeth. “You wish you could control me.”

“Prove it.” Hot breath on my lips. “Prove that you’re not affected by me, that you don’t crave my touch as intensely as I desire yours. Prove that you don’t love me like I love you. I dare you.”

I’ve never backed down from his dares.

I shove to my toes and crash my lips against his.

It’s messy.

We slide against each other, groaning from injuries as much as the feel of each other. Mouths moving in a frenzy, tasting of blood and tears. And I want it.

I want him.

This male who protects me and fights with me. Who stays when I push, who pushes harder. The only male who can survive me.

I open my mouth under his, tasting ichor and copper and he fists my hair, yanks me against his chest to devour me.

The elevator grinds to a halt, the doors opening to reveal another sterile hallway.

We break apart, gasping.

My heart redoubles its pounding. And I say it, before I lose my nerve, before the rest comes out, and he realizes what I’ve done. “I don’t love you, Sin. I will never love you. I could never love you.”

I say it because he needs to hear it.

Not because I mean it.

I’m the first out of the elevator, movements jerky and weak, a lame predator starving for a hunt.

The smell of bleach and urine is thick in every direction.

Alarms are a constant screech, but white noise under the clanging of metal doors and muffled cries of creatures.

We underestimated.

Cells stretch as far as I can see, some made of bars, others encased in metal, only an envelope slot for fresh air. They go on and on and on.

The biggest collection in the Americas. Emil should’ve said realm.

I’m exhausted and sore, but I crack my neck, shake out my hands. Only way to begin is to start. I head left, ready to comb through every hall, every cell. I’m not leaving without Theia.

Sin’s strides are longer than mine. They hit the gap in my steps until we sound like a stampede, sprinting down one way, skidding around the corner and starting up the other.

The cells are locked.

High-tech biometrics. Fancy.

A problem I file for later. There are more pressing matters. How long until security finds us? Why are only females in the cells? How long until I pass out from blood loss?

The thrall only hums beneath my skin, frail, trying rapidly to douse the agony. No one walks away from a shattered throat without a sting.

As we round a corner, a female dressed in a white lab coat jumps, clipboard clattering from her hands.

Sin throws out a mangled hand. “Calm,” he commands, striding up to her. “We need a Phoenix.”

The air is suffused with the stench of sweat, fear, and despair. The metallic tang of blood lingers in the air, mixing with the musty smell of old money and molding walls. Yet, she looks like she spent a week in the spa. Her eyes are glassy, her body relaxed. “I can help.”

“Directions,” Sin demands. “Now.”

She sighs, softly, happy. “It’s alphabetical. Creatures A through O are lanes one through fifteen, then—”

I don’t need the rest. I’m sprinting.

Sin catches my arm. “Other way.”

“No, this way.”

“You’ve lost too much blood,” Sin says, firming his hold on me. “Theia will be under P. It’s that way.”

“She’s not that way,” I confess, backing out of his reach, racing back down the aisles. I spring past the Hamadryads, then stop. Run down the aisle again, but she’s not here. “ No .”

Sin comes to a sudden stop at the end of the hall.

I comb back up and down the aisle, tears streaming down my cheeks, double, triple checking, not believing what I’m seeing.

Sin doesn’t move. His arms are crossed. “Theia’s not a Phoenix, is she, Nat?”

The accusation cuts. The hesitation. The fear.

I brush it aside. Starting up the aisle again, running now.

She has to be here. If she’s not … then I’m alone.

No. I take off again. Must have counted wrong. I check each cell with growing panic. Start screaming, “Theia! Theia! Theia! ”

A hand wraps itself around my arm, yanking me to a stop. I whirl, primed to fight, but it’s Sin. “Natasa,” he says urgently. “You lied to me.” He breathes out slowly. Through his nose, like he’s trying to keep a handle on himself.

I’m crying. Full on. Shuddering. “She’s supposed to be here.”

Sin’s touch disappears. “ Natasa .”

Shouts rise. People in white coats start steaming down the halls, away from us, checking beepers, pointing. I’ve blown our position.

I peer at Sin through a haze of pain and desperation. It’s like I’ve spun the clip on a revolver without locking it, the same thing keeps spinning and spinning in my brain. “She has to be here.”

Sin’s palm suddenly flattens against my chest. Tense. Strong. He presses me back, charging until my spine knocks into metal bars of a cell. “Natasa. Tell me Furies can’t lie.”

Bitterness tinges his words. The betrayal in his expression cuts deeper than the gash at my throat.

I want to explain, to defend myself, but there’s no defense. I always planned this.

I just didn’t imagine it would hurt me too.

Lying was the only way to save Theia. Either to the Blackguard or to Hades. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, the Blackguard were supposed to be evil. I was supposed to hate them.

A moment of unbearable silence passes between us. I can feel my heartbeat in my neck, pounding. I wrench free of Sin’s grasp, stagger down the hall.

“ Natasa .“ A growl. Hateful.

“Would you have helped otherwise?”

He opens his mouth.

It’s incredible how I almost forget the aura enveloping him. The band on his throat. Deviously black. He looks so good in black.

I wonder what if he sees me now.

The Fury who doesn’t fit.

Who didn’t do her duty.

Who failed to save her friend.

Somewhere close, gunshots are going off. People are fighting. It should concern me, but it doesn’t, I’m too deep in the muck.

“You didn’t when I asked, when I was in chains.” I clench my jaw against a fresh onslaught of tears, anguish drowning me in cold, murky waters. “They don’t deserve this! None of them!”

I’m shouting now, meeting the fearful gazes of the prisoners. “And I want Theia, but I won’t leave these females here. I played your waiting game. It’s done.”

“You used me,” he says quietly.

It’s not a question. “We need …” I turn a circle and freeze. “ There .” I point to a male wearing a lab coat and a red aura, frantically scanning his ID at the door fob. “Get him.”

Despite my betrayal, Sin doesn't hesitate. He does what's right. He's on the lab coat in seconds, yanking the male up by the lanyard. A mortal. Bright red floods his cheeks as Sin wraps a big hand over his throat.

“Release the prisoners,” Sin commands, arms shaking.

A rush of cold air.

The mortal’s eyes bulge, and his face turns a sickening shade of purple as Sin’s grip hardens. I can see the hate in Sin’s features, the barely restrained fury. His muscles quiver with the strain, the veins in his neck pulsing as he snarls into the man’s face. “I said release them !”

The man gurgles, hands scrabbling uselessly at Sin’s iron grip. His legs kick feebly, white sneakers slipping across the blood-slicked floor.

I stumble forward, reaching for Sin’s arm. “Wait, we need him—”

On a reverse inhale, the mortal goes limp, head dropping at an unnatural angle, body collapsing. Lifeless eyes stare vacantly at the ceiling.

“Shit,” Sin growls. “ Shit .”

“Be gentler.”

“I was barely touching him. His mind was too weak, I—” Sin turns to me, chest heaving, aura pulsing. For a moment, I worry he might lash out, at me pin me to the wall with the same brutal strength. But then he blinks and shakes his head. Shuts his eyes. “Bring me another.”

I’m off. Sprinting.

I find the next lab coat trying to escape inside the cell of a muse. The prisoner’s shrieking at him, striking the chains on her wrists into his fingers as he attempts to crawl inside.

I grab him by the nape and dump him into Sin’s hold.

“Release the prisoners,” he commands, honey smooth voice boiling hot.

Cold air smacks me.

“I can’t,” the mortal begs. “They’ll kill me. I can’t.”

Sin doesn’t relent, power lifting off his body in icy waves, his aura rippling in sheets of black. “What do you think I will do to you if you don’t?”

Wetness stains the tech’s pants, and whatever horrible, disgusting feeling Sin has made this man feel lights me up, makes me want to roll around in it.

“My key,” the man croaks. “My key and fingerprint. Then my code. I need to do it.”

It’s quick in total. Finding the control station next to the elevator and making our buddy swipe his card, scan his finger, enter the sixteen digit code, complete with capital letters and dashes.

The alarms shut off. The cells doors unlock and swing open.

There's footsteps. Bare feet on tile. Uneasy shouts. They’re free.

Sin collapses.

Legs shooting out from under him, eyes rolling back in his head.

I reach for him, searching for an invisible bullet, perhaps a dart in his trachea. Nothing.

“Sin?” I check his pulse. “What happened? Sin?”

He screams . Screams in torment as the bone in his calf plunges through skin.

My blood turns to ice. I lurch for his leg, to shove it back in or snap it together. Something when the ceiling groans. Caves in, reaching for us.

Drops.

I throw myself over Sin as a shield, bracing for impact.

Then the floor gives out below us.