4. Daphne

Chapter four

Daphne

A few days have passed since I last saw Alex in class. He gave me his number the day before, for project purposes, but I haven’t mustered the courage to text him yet. So when I spot him alone in the dining hall, I nudge Eden. “Let’s join him.”

She scrunches her nose. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she mutters. I ignore her, determined to take this chance. Alex is alone, and I’ve always been drawn to him.

I remember a time, years ago, when Alex was eating by himself outside of Whitmore Institute. It felt wrong to see him isolated because he was so kind and exhibited an aura that instantly attracted me to him. The selfish part of me liked it, though. It meant he’d be more receptive to my company.

As I plopped down next to him, all my self-consciousness evaporated. He grinned at me, and we spent the afternoon snacking on popcorn and people-watching on the lawn. That day, he was so raw and vulnerable, yet he smiled through his pain. It’s a memory I’ve cherished ever since .

So yes, I’ll do the same thing I did before. I’ll take a breath and plunge towards my insecurities, all to get to him.

I collect my tray from the sticky counter of the drink station before heading directly to Alex. Eden joins my side. “Did you hear me? Celeste is—” We’re almost to Alex, and I don’t want to talk or hear about Celeste right now. I tell Eden so.

As we approach his table, Alex’s face lights up. He can pretend to be nonchalant all he wants, but his eyes betray him every time. I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart and flash him a small smile.

“Mind if we join you?” I ask, keeping my voice casual, despite fighting against the tidal wave of nervousness threatening to drown me.

Friends. Totally. He won’t object to our joining him.

Oh man, he looks so cute.

Without waiting for a response, I plop my ass on the chair across from him. Meanwhile, Eden nervously glances around the room.

“Not at all,” he says with an affable grin. For a fleeting moment, it feels like it’s just the two of us sharing secrets and popcorn under the summer sun again.

Eden sits next to me and then mumbles, “If you’re meeting people, we can sit somewhere else. ”

I send her a quizzical look. He seems to consider her implication, and I swear I see him gulp. Must be because of Victoria. They’ve always been close. But if I want to be friends with Alex, then I have to tolerate Victoria too. Plus, she’s my roommate, so there’s no escaping her forever.

“Nah,” he says. “It’s fine.”

“So, about our project,” I begin but stop when Alex seems to stare past me. I glance over my shoulder to see what—or, more accurately, who—has caught his attention.

Celeste bounces with a food tray in her hand, looking absolutely stunning today. Her dress is a perfect shade of blue that compliments her eyes, and her hair is styled in loose waves that frame her face beautifully. I can’t help but admire her as she laughs and talks with her attached-at-the-hip friend, Victoria. I wonder if Alex has a crush on Celeste. He seems to watch her intently, but I dismiss the thought. There’s no way Celeste is his type. She’s so confident and outgoing, but also mean and completely entitled.

But then Celeste sees me sitting with Alex. Malice glints in her eyes, and she sends me a taunting smirk. My heart sinks because this is the face of a woman who has the upper hand. She knows something I don’t.

Cryptically, she holds up her fingers. 3. 2. 1. Then, she calls out to Alex with the one word that threatens to tear my soul in half. “ Babe!” she hollers across the cafeteria. Alex winces while facing me.

“I’ve been searching for you.” Unlike me, she doesn’t ask before sitting; she just does. Directly in Alex’s lap.

I’m dying inside. Bit by bit. Inch by inch. If what Celeste is implying is true, consider me annihilated.

Victoria comes to a stop beside the table, with her arms crossed, her dark eyes narrowed in a look of disdain. “What are you doing here?” she asks me. Her harsh words bounce off my skin, but they linger in the air heavy and dense, impossible to ignore.

“I—”

Alex cuts me off. “Daphne and Eden were just helping me understand some parts of a class project,” he explains, voice steady. Eden isn’t even in our group.

Victoria’s gaze flickers to Eden and then back at Alex. “Oh,” she murmurs. “Of course.”

Celeste throws an arm around his shoulders possessively, giving me a fresh rush of embarrassment for myself. Everyone knew but me. Eden tried to tell me, and both Victoria and Eden hinted at it, but I ignored all the warning signs. Celeste now has a victorious glint in her eyes that bites like acid.

Oh .

Yesterday, she said she was going to fuck her boyfriend so loudly in our apartment.

Kill shot.

Tears sting my gaze, threatening to expose my true feelings. I fiercely blink them back, refusing to let Celeste see how much she’s affecting me. Alex—beautiful, untouchable Alex—laughs at something Celeste whispers in his ear, and my insides twist as if wrung by unseen hands.

Of course. Naturally, he’d choose her. My mother’s bitter voice invades my mind. “You’re not good enough for him, Daphne. Not pretty enough. Not rich enough.” The memory of her words, once just a hurtful whisper from the past, now feels like a curse.

She was right.

Grandma Rosalind would be so ashamed of me. My biggest aspiration in life is to make Grandma proud. If she were here, she’d say, “Daphne, don’t let jealousy ruin your heart. Be happy for the ones you care for.”

Unfortunately, it’s only Alex I care for in this scenario, but maybe Celeste is nice. She must be for him to choose her.

I can’t tear my gaze away from them—Celeste, petite and blonde, perched like some exotic bird in Alex’s lap. Her lips brush against the curve of his neck, leaving a trail of red that I imagine burning into his skin. She’s marking him, claiming him right before everyone, right before me.

“Pathetic,” I chastise myself, but I’m rooted to the spot, watching. It’s masochistic, this self-inflicted torture of forcing myself to witness the connection between them that I’ve longed for since I first met Alexandru Whitmore. Celeste is laughing, her head thrown back, the artificial luster of her dyed hair catching the light like a halo of deceit. I’m being anti-feminist and, frankly, a hell of a lot jealous. I hate it about myself right now.

Alex’s hand rests casually on her thigh, his fingers tapping a rhythm that speaks of familiarity and possession.

I study her features, the way her laughter seems to bubble up effortlessly, how it makes her eyes crinkle at the corners despite the layers of makeup.

She’s everything I’m not—blonder, bolder, with curves crafted by surgeons’ hands rather than nature’s whimsy. Her confidence sits upon her like a crown—one she never takes off, even in moments of supposed humility. I’m simply not his type. Where I am all sharp angles and hesitant smiles, Celeste is softness and unabashed grins.

God, why can’t I be like that? In contrast, why can’t I be the one he wants? My thoughts are a tangled mess of envy and self-pity .

The room feels smaller suddenly, the air too thick to breathe. I watch Celeste lean into Alex, her lips grazing the sensitive skin of his neck. He tilts his head, giving her more access, and my heart constricts painfully in my chest. She is radiant in her victory, every move calculated to draw the eye.

“Well,” Eden murmurs quietly beside me. “This is awkward.”

I can’t find it in me to disagree with her. I glimpse at Alex and notice him looking back at me. There’s something about the confusion in his eyes that speaks volumes of discomfort about the situation we’ve found ourselves in.

I have an overwhelming urge to reach out and erase that baffled look on his face, but Celeste is nestled tightly under his arm, rendering it impossible. I lower my gaze back to my food, focusing on the patterns I make with my fork, until I can no longer hear her voice ringing in my ears. But even then, I can feel Celeste’s gloating gaze burning into my skin.

Victoria’s snide remarks and Celeste’s cloying sweetness are just a reminder of my place, which is painfully stuck on the outside, looking in.

“The cafeteria food suits you,” Victoria sneers, fingering a lock of my hair disdainfully. The mockery in her eyes is evident. “Your dress matches the mashed potatoes. ”

Beside her, Celeste giggles into Alexandru’s shoulder, glancing up only long enough to meet my gaze with a triumphant twinkle in her eye. The muscle in my chest aches. Celeste is mean, arrogant, and exactly who I want to be. Not that I desire to resemble her, just that I long to embody her. Every breath in my lungs shakes with the need to rest my head against Alex’s shoulder as she does. Oh, to have the pleasure of knowing that I could touch him how I want. Fuck, I think I could endure his sister and Celeste’s bullying if only I could feel him. The warmth of his skin to ease the pain in my chest.

He’s happy now, and that’s all that matters. I remember a time when he wasn’t, when his unhappiness nearly cost him his life. He seems to have found his peace, and though it sucks that it’s without me, at least he’s alive. Because it’s angsty and stupid, and probably immature, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that Alexandru Whitmore is my soulmate. The moment I laid eyes on him, the clouds opened up.

So, I’ll let the throbbing in my chest go on. All the while, I’ll carry on wishing that magic was real so I could switch bodies with Celeste and make him as happy as she does.

Pushing away my anxiety, I dap the corner of my lips for some semblance of keeping my shit together. All the while, the lump in my throat grows larger as I quietly set about eating my lunch, desperately wishing that I could disappear or that this was all just a grim nightmare I’d soon wake up from. As if I’d wake up and still be soaking wet at twelve years old, but with a young Alex holding onto my cold form as I gripped onto his shaking one.

Since magic isn’t real, I’d also take not feeling so helplessly in love with my soulmate who belongs to someone else.

Nine years I’ve pinned after a boy whom I wasn’t even in contact with. I’m magnetically pulled to him. Even if he’s not the same Alexandru Whitmore from before, it’s still him. Does it make me stupid to believe such a thing? Yes. But it doesn’t change my feelings.

I sit there, forcing tasteless food into my mouth as Alexandru idly caresses his fingertips down Celeste’s arms. I bet tingles are shooting straight to Celeste’s core from his proximity. I know they are for me, and I’m several feet away.

She chats with Victoria until Victoria interrupts my brooding jealousy. “Don’t you have anything better to do than mope around here all day, Daphne?” Her icy, blue eyes rake over me as if I’m something beneath her.

As I’ve been on the receiving end of Victoria’s unkind words far too often, my cheeks burn with humiliation. It’s a familiar sensation these days.

“No,” I reply quietly, refusing to meet her gaze. “ I don’t.”

Victoria lets out a harsh laugh, following it with a cruel jibe. “Well then, maybe you should find something to do. You can’t always be clinging to us for company. Especially while we’re trying to enjoy ourselves.” She gestures towards Alexandru and Celeste, who are still entangled together.

I feel a wave of nausea wash over me as I watch them, my heart tightening painfully in my chest.

“Maybe,” I mumble, pushing my food away. Celeste looks up from her passionate exchange with Alexandru, just long enough to give me a triumphant smirk before returning her attention to him. Meanwhile, Alex seems to look everywhere but at me.

A silence descends over our table. Eden tries to diffuse the situation by engaging lighthearted conversation, but it’s obvious that she’s not successful.

I hate how everyone pretends that everything’s fine when it clearly isn’t. The air is heavy with tension, and I can’t seem to shake off the oppressive weight pressing down on me.

In the end, I decide to leave without taking another bite of my meal.

As I walk away, I hear Victoria’s spiteful laughter echoing behind me. The sound cuts through me, reminding me yet again of my place in this twisted social ladder .

Yet I refuse to let them witness my collapse. I’ll keep my head high and my heart guarded. The worst they can do is shatter the shell, but they’ll never get to who I truly am—a fighter.