Chapter 23

23

ESTELLE

Halo hugs me. "I can't believe you did that, are you okay?"

I nod. "I'm fine. I'm just sorry I've put you and Kyle through all of this."

She frowns, looking at me with a disapproving look. "Don't ever say that, you hear me? Kyle is fine, and I'm fine, more than fine, actually. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I know how hard we've all worked, and finally it looks like it's paying off."

I told Halo and Kyle everything. Including what that jerk said about Tilly. They both agreed he was just trying to get a rise out of me, nothing more, but it still stings.

"Are you saying that because you've been spending more time with Riot?" I arch a brow.

She blushes slightly. "Nothing's happened. He's a nice guy."

I snort. "Nice?"

"Well, we've been hanging out and stuff, but I haven't slept with him, if that's what you mean."

"But he wants to."

She shrugs. "I think he likes me."

"It can be exciting, dating a guy in a motorcycle club, but it still holds its dangers, babe."

She rolls her eyes ever so slightly. "Right. Coming from you who's practically shacked up with your boy toy over here."

I smile. "But I've led a hard life, it hasn't always been roses. You on the other hand…"

"Right, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I get it, but that doesn't mean that everything's been easy."

"I didn't mean that," I say. "I just meant, maybe you're not cut out for a life with a biker."

"And you are?"

"Me and Nevada… we just seem to work."

A slow smile spreads across her face. "Uh, huh."

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what? It's pretty obvious he's nuts about you. Have you said the ‘L' word yet?"

I look down at my shoes and try to deflect.

"Wait! You have, haven't you?" she sputters.

"No! I… Well, it's complicated ."

"I've known you for quite some time, Estelle Louise St. Clair, and I've never seen you like this before." She holds me at arm's length, assessing me like it's the first time she's seen me in a while. "This definitely isn't just about sex, so don't even bother with that excuse."

"That's the thing; I never expected to fall like this and so quickly. That first meeting at the Whiskey Straight, I never imagined I'd actually fall for the guy."

Halo almost swoons. "And are you going to let yourself be happy?"

"What do you mean?"

"With everything that's been going on with us trying to find Tilly, your happiness has taken a back seat. It's still okay to live your life and want things."

I swallow hard. "I have been feeling guilty lately. I've been having a good time with Nevada and I don't want it to seem like I've forgotten my responsibilities."

Her intake of breath is sharp. "You don't seriously mean that?"

I look away. "Maybe. I don't know."

"Listen." She practically shakes me. "There is nothing wrong with you living your life. You've dedicated every second of every day for the last few months to the cause of finding your sister. You're allowed to fall in love along the way. It doesn't mean we're giving up, or letting things slide. It just means it's okay to put yourself first. Without Nevada and the MC, we wouldn't have gotten this far."

"I know. At first, I thought it was just him wanting to score and brag about it to the boys. I didn't care. He's younger than me, and he's hot, so we both had a good time, you know, it didn't matter. But it turns out, he's nothing like that." God, does it sound like I'm gushing right now? "He's proved over and over that he's here for me. That he also won't rest until we find her. He's my equal, and I'm his. That sounds soppy and ridiculous, but it's how I feel."

She has tears in her eyes. "I'm really happy for you, babe. I mean that. Nobody deserves to be happy more than you do."

"I just wish it didn't have to be under these circumstances. What happens if this doesn't uncover anything either? Then we're back to square one."

"But because of you and the joint MCs, we're blowing this trafficking thing apart. You've been a big part of making that happen. That's something to be proud of." She won't say it, but we both know what it could mean.

My bottom lip trembles. "And if it turns out Tilly is gone?"

"Then you know you did everything you could ten times over, and you'd do it again, babes. It means your loyalty and how you love is unmatched. I don't know anyone who loves as hard as you do and would kill a man who got in her way." Her eyes are warm and wide, comforting me like only a best friend can. "If Tilly is gone, then we'll face it together. She knows, wherever she is, that you did everything possible to find her."

Tears cling to my lashes. I've held so much in and I know, when the time comes, it'll all come flooding out. Right now, I have to remain strong until the bitter end.

I wipe my eyes. "Thank you, Hales. For your friendship and for letting me drag you into all of this."

Her smile is nothing short of therapy. "You never dragged me into anything, I did this because I wanted to, got me?"

I laugh. "You're talking like a biker."

"Can you blame me? I've been surrounded by them for days. Pity I couldn't come with you to Cigar Haven." She tuts.

"Trust me, you didn't miss much."

"Except all of that eye candy."

"Some of those men aren't all stand-up guys, Hales. They're one percenters and still do illegal shit, they should come with a warning label."

"Yet, they're fighting for what's right and trying to take down this trafficking ring." She shrugs. "Can't be that bad."

"I don't know, we might make an ol' lady out of you yet." I smirk.

"I think I'll keep my options open for the moment."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not sure Riot is gonna agree with that sentiment."

She gives me a self-assured grin. "Well then, he'd better play his cards right if he wants any piece of this."

I laugh too. "Please don't ever change. And make him work for it."

"Funny, that's exactly what I plan on making him do… If things don't work out, that Viking guy is pretty hot…"

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Thank God you're working surveillance, I think you'd be too distracted in the field."

"I think we both know you're the fighter between the two of us, I'm quite happy being the sidekick."

I hug her again. "We both know you're never gonna be the sidekick. But you will be staying out of danger."

"Yes, Mom."

"Ready?"

She nods. "Ready as I'll ever be."

I feel exactly the same way.

It's D-Day.

Good or bad, come what may. Today we will have answers.

"Did good today." It feels weird getting Bane Adler's approval, but there it is in black and white.

"Because I ended some asshole's life?" I snort. "I'd do it again if I could, just to see the look on his face in those last few seconds when he realized what I'd done."

"You sure she's not gonna get patched in?" Shadow chuckles, looking over to Nevada.

I smile, answering before Nevada, "They couldn't afford me."

Nevada shakes his head. "The MC doesn't pay you, honey, you pay the MC with club coffers."

I shift my eyes to his. "What does that mean?"

"It means, all the club's businesses are put into a pot, and we all reap the rewards from the combined businesses. It's how we all make a lot of money. It's one big family."

"More ol' lady stuff I'm not privy to?" I sigh.

He taps me on the ass with the back of his hand for talking back. "Not like we've gotten around to it with bar room brawls, chasin' down traffickers, and killin' a man…"

I scrunch my face. "I see your point."

We're laying low in the back of Bane's truck, waiting for the address which will come through at the eleventh hour.

"Jefferson will have guards everywhere," Bane tells us. "So we have to make sure the exchange goes down without a hitch before any goddamn gun fire. I want that asshole alive."

"We know the drill," Hawk gruffs. "This ain't our first rodeo."

"Lucky we got snipers of our own," Shadow quips. "If shit gets outta hand, we have that added security."

"Just know that Jefferson may look like an oil-slicked Brillo pad, but the man has money, and with money comes protection," Viking tells us from up front.

If anyone told me I'd be packed like a sardine in a tin can with seven bikers, I'd have laughed in their face. The only reason Bane okayed me even coming was because of what I did to Dave. Somehow I earned his respect, and that's good enough for me. I get that he's got an agenda, and my problems don't really matter to him, but they matter to me.

"So who knows about these Stiletto Riders?" I toss out. Well, since we're shooting the breeze, I figure why not. I also haven't had a chance to run it by Bane yet. "That Dave asshole said you know Diamond, the club's Prez."

Bane's eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. For a handsome guy with pretty eyes, he also manages to look surprisingly haunted. "I know who she is."

"Like we need a reminder," Shadow mutters.

This piques my interest. "Nevada said he told you what Dave said, and that the Stilettos have a compound…"

"You believe the words of a dead man walkin'?" He snickers.

"So they don't exist?"

He takes a long draw of breath as he sighs. "They exist, but trust me, this ain't got shit to do with our operation. All he was doin' was tossin' names out there, tryin' to throw you off scent."

"It seemed pretty specific to me. He said some of the chicks were pretty fucked up, that they take women in…"

"They have some half-way house thing." Shadow waves a hand in the air. "A modern day Mother Teresa, right, Prez?"

Bane side-eyes him and the look he gives him could kill. He cares about her. About Diamond. Who is she?

"So if Tilly isn't part of this network, she could have been intercepted."

"Don't go runnin' away with yourself," Bane warns. "If they had've, then you'd have your sister back by now. They're not prisoners at the facility.

"Wait, so they do have a facility?" Why is everyone being so hush-hush about this?

Bane takes a few moments before answering. "Diamond is… a troublemaker through and through. She lies. Cheats. She has no authority yet acts like she owns the fuckin' world."

"Did she lie and cheat you?"

"Watch your mouth."

"So asshole Dave is just lying for the fun of it?" I ask.

"He'd say anything once he knew his days were numbered. He didn't know your sister from Adam, but tried to convince you she was dead. He can't be trusted."

"So, the Stilettos…"

"They're in Texas. We're in Mississippi. If you wanna go runnin' off to get yourself in another shit pile of trouble," he sweeps his arm out, "just go right ahead."

"I'm just saying, it's another lead…"

"One that could lead to another and another. Dave would sell his own grandmother if he thought it was gonna throw someone off course. He's throwin' out names in Texas to take the heat off Mississippi, that's it."

"But can't we check?" I feel all eyes on me. "Ask Diamond if she has a bunch of girls in her compound?"

"You don't get how this works, angel. When she's helped girls in the past, she gets them back to their families. They move on, they don't stay there forever."

"Oh." I close my eyes.

Nevada's hand squeezes my knee. "Easy, baby."

I feel like a wildcat who's been held captive all its life. The need to strike runs through my veins like hot lava. After the adrenaline of today, I just want to break free and get this show on the road. But this isn't my show. It's theirs. I'm in their territory now and playing by their rules…

"Gotta respect that, babe," Nevada said. "We're not in NOLA anymore, what they say goes. Remember it."

"But — " I try to protest.

"No buts. Things will work smoother if we all work together. I know this part is frustratin', but the boys know what they're doin'. Got me?"

I hold onto that sentiment, because this is my last hope. "I know. I'm not dumb."

"No, you're not, but you are a hot head who can't control her temper. Remember what you did to Dave."

"He was a trafficker and rapist. I have no sympathy for him."

"Neither do I, but one slip and Bane could be wearin' your dagger, we don't want that on our hands. A war isn't what we stepped into Mississippi for, at least, not with the Hellions."

I give him a stern look. "I'm not going to take out the Hellions MC Prez, for God's sake!"

"Stranger things have happened."

"I'm not good at being patient, that's all."

"I'll remember that next time I fuck you."

I can't help but smile. "You already frustrate the living shit out of me when you go slow."

"Called makin' love, baby. Better get used to it."

I can't even begin to believe how good that sounds coming from his lips. It makes me forget everything that's going on, at least for a little while…

I smile, remembering Nevada trying to make sure I behaved myself. "What?" I whisper. "I'm just asking!"

He kisses me on the forehead. "I know. We can check in with the Stilettos after."

Shadow snorts. "Good luck."

We both look to the front. "They hard to handle?" Nevada frowns.

He and Bane share a look. "They're, uh, headstrong, to say the least. They have an agenda of their own, a noble one, but Diamond?" Shadow shakes his head. "Like I said, she lives in her own world with her own rules. It's like her personal mission to save everyone."

She sounds like a stand-up woman. Someone I'd be very interested in meeting.

"I don't wanna burst your bubble, sunshine ," Bane adds. "But the chances that any of this will lead to a positive outcome for you with the Stilettos is clutchin' at straws."

"What if straws are all I have?" I throw back.

"No buses left Mississippi to go back to Texas, that I can guarantee."

"Maybe she was never on that bus." I know I sound desperate. "Maybe she diverted to Texas."

Even the Nomad brothers were making calls the second we left the Hellions warehouse. I know Brew took particular interest, which is understandable.

"Or maybe she was never on either." Bane's words stab me in the heart. "Honey, you gotta understand somethin'. Not every fairytale is gonna end with a happy endin'. The percentage of girls that don't make it is fifty-fifty, probably lower. So many factors to consider, and do you even know for sure she was trafficked?"

I don't want to hear it. Damn asshole. "Of course I know!" I bite back. "I'm a PI. I did my homework. All the evidence leads to my sister being drugged and kidnapped."

The silence in the truck is deafening. I know what he's getting at. That maybe Tilly didn't even make it to being smuggled or trafficked. Maybe she's been dead this whole time… No. I won't let myself believe that. I can't…

Bane rubs his chin. "But the details are sketchy after that. I don't wanna burst your bubble, but it's a needle in a haystack."

I don't need him to tell me that. I don't need him to tell me anything.

"Oh, we're gonna find her," Nevada's voice sounds out through the vehicle. "Come hell or high water. Every haystack we come across, we'll search." He cups my chin. "I'll never stop, no matter what. Just like we said."

My heart expands and I want to throw myself in his arms. It's not just the fact he's telling me what I want to hear; he really means it. He'd do anything for me and that makes my love for him grow that much stronger.

My greatest fear has been confronting the very real possibility of my sister trapped and afraid, or worse. So much worse. But Nevada takes it all away. He makes it better somehow.

Before I can even respond, Bane's phone pings and we all wait with bated breath.

He barks out an address to Shadow, and the truck starts to roll. My heart thunders in my chest. The realness of it all settling into my bones.

With Hawk, and the other NOLA MC men disguised as Hellions, only Bane, Shadow, Nevada, Brew and Haze will be going into the meeting, but I sure as shit hope it's outside so I can see and hear what's going on.

Just when I need it, Nevada's eyes meet mine. "Just hold on," he murmurs. "It won't be long now."

I love you, I mouth.

He reaches for me and presses a kiss to my lips, one hand cupping the back of my neck. I know he's displaying that I belong to him to his brothers and the other MC, it was the same at Cigar Haven. His hands were on me at all times. He kept kissing me, and making sure that I was taken care of. But he was sending a message. I waited then, as I'm doing now, for my chest to cave in and the palpitations to start, but they never come. My body is completely relaxed. My mind may be racing, but my heart knows what it wants and what this man does to me.

No words pass. He just cups my cheek and smiles, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I know, Mama. I know. It'll all be over soon."