Chapter 13

13

ESTELLE

Ten years ago

"Tilly?" I bang on my sister's door. "Open up."

"Go away!"

I frown. This isn't like Tilly. She never tells me to go away, but lately she's been indifferent and she won't tell me why. I need to ask one of her friends, not that she has many because she's a bit of a nerd and a teacher's pet. My sister is small, really tiny, and I know some of the girls at school pick on her because of it. She's also a do-gooder and not a fighter, avoiding the popular girls and sticking to smaller, fly-under-the-radar circles.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm tired."

I bang harder. "If Mama hears, it'll be worse for you." My sister is only thirteen, and that's a delicate age. Being ten years older than her, I know what she's going through. Hormones for one, and then high school, trying to fit in and find your place in the world when you're different. I get it. But when Tilly acts like this, it makes me nervous. It's out of character and I need to find out why.

Mom is barely around these days, and I've been looking after Tilly more and more ever since Mom got sick and needed treatment. She's been in and out of hospital, and nobody can seem to find what's wrong with her.

Tilly and I have always been close, but she's going through that rebellious teenager thing where I'm embarrassing to her. I'd like to say it didn't hurt, but it does a little bit. Despite our ten year age gap, we were thick as thieves only six months ago. My how the tables have turned.

Tilly unlocks the door. Her eyes red-rimmed and puffy, and I can tell instantly she's been crying.

Panic hits me. "What's wrong?"

"I told you; nothing." She exaggerates the last word like it's three syllables.

"Just tell me and I can make it right."

"You wouldn't understand." She goes to close the door on me, as if none of this is a big deal when clearly it is.

"Try me."

She folds her arms over her chest. "You'll just get mad."

Okay, I'm not exactly known for my patience in this family. I like to say I'm passionate, truth be told, and I don't let anyone walk over me or the people I care about. So if that makes me a hot-head, then so be it.

I pull her into a hug. She tries to escape, but I don't let her. "I will never be mad at you as long as you tell me the truth."

"I meant, you'll be mad at the other girls, and then you'll do something and we'll both be in trouble."

I frown. "Tell me and I'll decide on if I'm gonna get mad or not."

She shrugs. "It's just the girls at school. They're…" I wait for her to say the dreaded words. "They're just being mean, it's no big deal."

"What do they do?"

She looks down at her feet. "Call me four-eyes and just stupid stuff. It's annoying."

Enough to make her cry, though.

"Have you told your teacher?"

"They don't do it when she's around, plus, I don't want to be a snitch."

I refrain from sighing. "What about Mom?"

"Mom said that I have to learn to stand on my own two feet."

I stare at her. Then I see red. Steam rises and I feel my cheeks burn. My infamous temper starts to boil, but for now I keep it at bay. I get mad fairly easily but that's just my nature. I can't help it. "What?"

She shrugs. "I know she's probably right, but they're bigger than me, and I never think of a snappy comeback in time."

My heart aches for her. She's also one of the prettiest girls in school, and mean girls don't like that as much as they don't like intelligence. "Tell me who it is and I'll be sure to talk to her parents, okay?"

She shakes her head. "Don't do that, it'll be so much worse. Just leave it alone."

"Tilly."

"I mean it. It'll be ok. They'll find someone new to pick on next week."

I shake my head. "That doesn't make it right, Tils."

"I'm fine. Stop nagging. Please."

Again, I'm shaken a little by her attitude. Where did my cute little sister go overnight? "I'll find out, you know I will."

"This is why I never tell you anything, Star! You can't just take the law into your own hands."

I smirk. "Since when have I ever done that?"

She rolls her eyes and goes to shut the door on me. I know I'm not going to get anything else out of her, so she's right; I will have to take matters into my own hands.

The following day I lurk outside the school, pretending to be waiting for Tilly. She usually walks home with a couple of her friends since the school is only five minutes from where we live. If Tilly won't be transparent about what's going on, then I feel as if I have no choice. If my sister hasn't even reported it to the teachers, it's likely they won't know what's going on, though, I'm sure they know who the troublemakers are in the classroom. It makes my stomach churn to think that my little sister is being bullied, and what's worse? Mom knew about it and did nothing. When I confronted her this morning, she brushed it off and said basically the same thing as Tilly and they'd work it out in the playground. It was nothing to worry about. My sister isn't exactly a little kid; she's thirteen. I don't think kids her age work things out in the playground anymore.

When the bell sounds, I make myself incognito until Tilly and one of her friends, Sammy, leave the school grounds. Immediately, two other girls follow behind them. Everything seems to be okay because they cross the road shortly after and head toward a waiting car. Maybe the bullying only happens at school, though you'd think kids could behave way worse when teachers aren't around. Sure enough, not far along the road, two girls step out from the bus stop and block Tilly and Sammy's path. They try to go around but the bigger girl starts to push my sister backward. She almost falls over because the size of her backpack is almost as big as her.

"Did you get my homework?" the older girl, probably fifteen, says, poking my sister in the chest.

Unbelievably, my sister unhooks her backpack and begins to rummage around in there.

"You know this is blackmail," Sammy says, but it's more like a mutter. Neither of the girls are confrontational, but Sammy has a little more snark than Tilly.

The bigger girl seems to be being egged on by her smaller assailant. "This is the price you pay for being losers," she says with a snicker.

My sister is doing this creep's fucking homework? Are you shitting me?

The older girl snatches the papers from Tilly's hand. "Better be an A plus, or I'll have to rearrange your face, four-eyes." She laughs at her own joke and my stomach recoils.

What in the actual fuck?

"Okay, that's it. We're done," Tilly stammers.

The smaller girl waggles her finger. "Ah, ah, ah. We don't think you've paid your dues just yet. Protection comes at a price."

"I've been doing your homework for three weeks!" I can see the anger rise in Tilly's face. "That isn't fair."

The older girl laughs. "Life isn't fair. I also heard you screwed Scott Middleton."

My sister's eyes go wide. "N— No, I didn't!"

I'm not stupid enough to think my sister is having sex. There is no way. This chick's just being a complete bitch. "We're gonna change your name to Slut St. Clair."

Something snaps in my sister, though. She points at her. "That isn't fair! A deal's a deal!"

I see the girl's arm rear back before I have time to react. She hits my sister in the face at the same time Sammy swings her backpack at her. Tilly's glasses smash and the larger girl gets hit by Sammy's flying backpack and I run toward them screaming.

Both the older girls turn to look at me and try to run, but I grab the bigger one by the hair and bark to her friend, "Fuck off if you want to live!" She runs away and I turn to the girl whose hair I'm yanking. "That wasn't very nice!"

"I'm… Ow! I'm sorry…"

I yank her hair harder while Sammy tends to my sister as she cries, a trickle of blood rolling down her face. "I'm goin to fucking kill you!" I mutter menacingly in her ear.

I shove her into the bus stop and she lands awkwardly on the seat. "Tils, are you okay?"

My sister's tear-stained face says it all, but she nods. I hold her by the shoulders and assess her face; her nose isn't broken but there will be a bruise there.

"Amanda's getting away!" Sammy cries as I turn and see her running.

"Sit her down, I'll be right back." I take off after Amanda.

I should drag her back to the school. I should call the police — which I will be doing after this — I shouldn't take matters into my own hands… But my sister was just assaulted by this bitch.

She's slow and I catch up to her in no time. Yanking her by the shoulders, I drag her into the nearby public toilets. She wrestles and screams, but luck is on my side because nobody is around. "Do you think it's nice to pick on younger girls or those smaller than you?" I grit as she tries to wriggle free. I put my arm around her neck and essentially choke her. Her hands fly up to her throat as she gags. "I'm going to teach you a lesson today, Amanda. You're not going to walk away with any bruises, but you are going to pay."

"No!" she gasps.

I tsk. "That's no way to talk to someone who has their arm around your neck now, is it?"

I move her toward the stall and shove her down so she's facing the toilet. She tries to scream, but no sound comes out.

"If you scream, I swear to God I will fucking drown you in this toilet."

Tears stream down her face. "I didn't mean to…"

"How old are you?"

"Fifteen…"

I shake her.

"Sixteen!"

I shake my head. "Sixteen? And you're making a thirteen year old do your homework? Are you fucking stupid?"

"Tilly is… she's smart and I just didn't have time to…"

"Wrong answer." I shove her head into the toilet and flush it.

Okay, so maybe I'm a little crazy. I don't fucking know. But she asked for it.

I lift her back up and she's gasping and writhing around. "How many other girls do you do this to?"

She doesn't answer so I flush her again. When she resurfaces; this time she's crying and garbling. I hope she's enjoying a taste of her own medicine.

"Let's try that again."

"Only a few!"

"So two?"

"Three, three I think?"

I swallow hard. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to go to the principal's office tomorrow and tell them what you did. The police are going to be called, and we're going to sue you for assault. If you don't do what I've asked, I know where you live, and I will come back."

"But… But my parents…"

I sigh. One more dunk won't hurt her. I flush her a little longer this time.

She flaps around, and normally I'd even start to feel sympathy for doing this to another person, but not a girl who just hit my sister and bullied her into doing homework for three weeks, and to other girls. I hate fucking bullies.

"Now, let's hear the right answer."

"I'll do it!"

I smile. "Good. And this never happened. If your parents ask you why you're all wet, you can tell them you went for a swim in the pond."

"I will…"

"Oh, and if you even think about coming near my sister or any other girl again, I'll make this look like a walk in the park, little girl, understood?"

She nods, shaking as I let her go. I stand, wincing as I got some water on me. I whistle as I wash my hands and she sags onto the stall floor crying.

I fucking hate bullies.

I shake out of my reverie. We're driving to Mississippi.

I know I was a hothead that day when I dealt with Tilly's bully, but to Amanda's credit, she did everything I told her. I put the fear of God into her and it went around school what she'd done to Tilly, and my sister became one of the most popular girls in school. Not that she liked the attention.

"How come you're smilin'"?

I glance up to see Nevada watching me before his eyes shift back to the road. "Just thinking about the time I flushed some girl's head down the toilet."

He snorts. "Wow, that's badass."

"Well, she was only sixteen, and I was twenty-three at the time, but she bullied and assaulted Tilly and I couldn't have that. She never did it again, lucky for her sake."

"Sounds like she deserved it."

"Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. And I had anger issues back then."

"And you don't now?" He snickers.

I roll my eyes. "Wise ass."

Of course Nevada has a nice truck. It's a GMSV Silverado in metallic blue. It's new. I can tell by the new car smell and how neat it is. Good to know Nevada isn't a slob as you can tell a lot about a person with how they keep their personal space.

"Do you have any other family?"

The question hits me like a fireball. I don't normally talk about my family life. "My mom died a few years back from a rare form of cancer. She was sick on and off over the years. After my sperm donor of a dad took off when I was a teenager, a few years after Tilly was born, she sort of just gave up."

"I'm sorry."

My mom and I never really saw eye to eye. We were just both resigned to the fact that we didn't get along. I nursed her for the last six months of her life and she declined quickly. I really don't like talking about this shit so I turn the tables. He's told me a little about his mom and I know they get along well. "So how's your mom as a roommate?" I ask

He winces. "Well, I gotta behave if that's what you're askin'. She's not too naggy, she knows I have my own life to live but I'm her baby, so sometimes she forgets I'm twenty-seven."

I smile at the thought and it tugs at my heart. "I guess that's not hard to do when you're a parent."

He looks at me. "You ever thought about kids?"

I wrinkle my nose. "To be honest, not really. I've been so busy changing my career these last few years that I've never thought about it too much and I've been trying to get that off the ground. Before this I taught kickboxing for a while, and worked in administration. I wouldn't rule it out, but I'm also not very maternal."

A fleeting thought hits me. Does Nevada want kids? I mean, he's young, he probably does at some point. Turns out he answers the question for me.

"Kids are hard work. I see what Cash's ol' lady, Deanna does and Crystal with their kids and it looks like a lot of work, but maybe someday." He shifts his eyes to mine.

Holy fuck. I do not want to imagine little versions of him running around, though weirdly, I could see him as a dad. He'd be playful and patient… Wait… Why do I care? And I don't know that for sure. He'd probably drop them on their heads or something. "Of course, my mom would die if she doesn't get any grandkids."

I smile to myself. "Parents are like that. What about your dad? I know you said he lives in Florida." I leave out the part about Nevada sounding disappointed with his dad not really in the picture anymore, and with him joining the MC and becoming a diesel mechanic. "Do you get to see him much?"

He shakes his head. "I'd like to see him. He's in town a couple times a year, so we catch up then. I miss him. I just wish…" He trails off. I realize once again, there's more to this man than meets the eye. He can actually be serious; not something I originally thought when I first met him. How deceiving looks can be. "I just wish he'd be a little prouder of me. Every time I see him, he picks fault with somethin'. I can't seem to win in his eyes."

I hear the sadness in his voice and it hurts deep inside me. "Sometimes that's how parents are, they see in you what they see in themselves. My mom was the exact same way. I could never do anything right." My God. I've never admitted that to another person. Why does being around this man suddenly make me blurt things out I wouldn't normally?

"I find that hard to believe. Weren't you the perfect child who did nothin' wrong?"

I laugh. "Uh, I flushed a teenager's head down the toilet, and that wasn't the worst of what I did when I was a teenager. She always said I gave her gray hair."

"Well, my mom says I gave her all those worry lines, I guess I kinda deserved that one."

Holy shit. Are we actually having an adult conversation?

So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours with us, the information and the new leads on Tilly, that it's making my head spin.

I also had to face a barrage of questions about what was going on with the door earlier when Halo and Kyle arrived — as if my disheveled appearance wasn't enough to give it away.

Now Nevada is being all sweet and helpful. Not that I mind that, not after what he just did to me back at my apartment. What scares me is how easily I let him. I mean, the man just ass fucked me with his fingers and now we're having a deep and meaningful conversation. What is happening to me? I need to seriously get a grip.

I stare out the window.

This feels so… natural. So normal. I can't say I've had too many relationships where I had deep conversations. I always went for guys who were physical and weren't there emotionally. Maybe that was a tradeoff, or something I sought out without realizing it. If they didn't want to converse and get to know me on an emotional level, it was safe for me. That way I never had to talk about anything bad or my mom or uncomfortable things. Nevada isn't like that.

He has no clue, nor does he seem fazed at throwing all kinds of questions my way. He wants to know. It's perfectly normal for most people to talk about themselves, but not for me. For me, this isn't something I'm used to. No guy I've been with ever cared that much to want to get to know me. Not deep down. I'm realizing every moment that I spend with him that he's different. Different in a good way.

Maybe, just maybe, I may have even overlooked a lot of things because of my own prejudice.

Apparently an old dog can learn new tricks. They just have to want to change.