Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

TORIN

It’s been nine days since I was at Hugo’s house and he showed me his replica 3D printed cock. The whole thing took me by surprise so much that I nearly had a panic attack. Which is ridiculous. I haven’t had one in years! And I’ve seen plenty of dicks before, so what the hell was wrong with me?

I felt so bad for making him feel bad. The entire thing was just so… personal, I had been taken completely off guard. I had to bite my tongue when he was trying to make me feel better and not blurt out that he had an amazing cock, and I was honored he’d shown it to me.

Well, the fake one.

But fuck, that thing is what dreams are made of. I’ve always been envious of the girls he brings home, but now I’m like, salivating. I like big dicks, and I cannot lie. I don’t hook up often, but when I do, I want them big. I’ve walked out on the occasion when I was lied to. Don’t tell me you have eight inches and then show me five. Fuck that.

I don’t have to hook up once I’m there, and you’re lying about what you have? Yeah, no. When you lie about something so simple, I sure as fuck am not going to trust you with my fucking body. Not a damn chance.

And it doesn’t make sense either. Why lie? You don’t think we’re going to see the difference? Does everyone not know the difference between four inches and nine? Like… really? Why?

Don’t get me wrong. Size isn’t the most important thing. I’ve hooked up with guys who aren’t huge. The issue is, when I’m looking for big, I want big. I don’t want a lie.

But Hugo. He’s like the holy grail of cocks. Magnificent. His dick is the Stanley Cup of dicks.

Shaking my head, I focus on what I’m doing. I haven’t seen him since that day we spent cuddled up on his couch as we watched movies and talked. Since then, he’s had a series of five away games—they won three and lost two—and we’ve talked every day while he was gone. Both through my anonymous text number and via the messenger app where he knows it’s me.

I’ve been so consumed with him since he’s been on the road that I barely knew he was gone. I didn’t think my obsession could run any deeper, but as it turns out, I was wrong. I might have been pining for this man before, but I’m freaking salivating now. I even have cock fodder because of the 3D monstrosity he showed me!

I always knew Hugo was kind and thoughtful, but having spent half a day with him, I’m more convinced now than I had been before that he’s an absolutely perfect person. He’s just… good. I know I’ve said that before, but now that I’ve spent time with him, I’m convinced that there’s no one more good—uhh… gooder?—than him.

He’s been home for two days and he’s suggested several times that we get together and hang out or get something to eat, but it hasn’t worked out. He’s had conditioning and an appointment. Then I had a dentist’s appointment yesterday afternoon. He had a massage.

But today, I get to see him. We’re playing Tampa in a few hours. I might have arrived at the arena early because I’m far too excited to stay home. To keep myself occupied, I’m rearranging my giveaways for maybe the dozenth time. And no, I don’t keep looking at my phone to check the time, or maybe to see if Hugo’s messaged me.

We were messaging a lot this morning. My anonymous self was playing Creature Community with him. What I love is that almost always when he’s texting me via my anonymous phone number, he’s also messaging me as Torin on the app. It happens very rarely that it’s just one or the other.

That means he likes me equally in both places, right? Will he still like me when he figures it out?

I nearly jump out of my skin when there’s a knock on my office door. Spinning around, I grip my chest over my heart as the door cracks open and Hugo peeks his head in. His smile splits his face as soon as he sees me.

“Hi!” he says and steps inside.

I’m surprised again as he pulls me into a hug. Honestly, I try like hell not to melt into him. Especially when it’s not a short hug. He holds me tightly for several long seconds.

“I missed you,” he tells me and after another quick squeeze, he takes a step back. Still with his beaming smile.

My heart is not beating like the drums of war. “Missed you too,” I say, feeling the way my skin burns. Fuck, I wish I could control that. It’s embarrassing enough that I just get redder.

“What do you do here while we’re gone?” he asks, leaning against the wall.

I brush loose strands of my hair behind my ear and look around. “Nothing for this part of my job. Sometimes, I get the costumes dry cleaned. But since we’d only had a couple games, that wasn’t necessary yet. On the days I come in, I help with different tasks. We were putting up a few new sponsor logos on the boards last week. I also started painting one of the walls in the entry.”

“I didn’t know you did more than mascotting,” Hugo admits.

I shrug, picking at one of the stuffed seal’s tails. “It’s not really a full-time job. It’s not even a part-time job as far as hours and commitment goes. But I’ve struggled finding something that doesn’t leave me crippled with anxiety from having to be around people.”

“But you are around people. Thousands of people,” he says, eyebrows knit together.

I shake my head. “No. I’m not. Surry the Seal is. They don’t see me.”

“I see you.”

My cheeks pinken again and I can’t stop the smile that forms on my lips. “I know. You always have.”

Hugo nods .

Shaking my head, because this is not a sweet moment—we’re just friends!—I continue, “Anyway, when I was hired here, I think the guy who hired me recognized my… issue, and he offered to put me on full-time doing various things behind the scenes so I could earn a decent living with benefits and not have to worry about dealing with people too much. He has moved on, but all of management seems to understand and accept my shortcomings.”

Hugo frowns. “They’re not shortcomings. It’s a real thing, isn’t it?”

I nod. “Yes. Not what I meant. I feel weird calling it a handicap or disability. It’s weird having a label and I feel like it makes more people look at me, which is the exact opposite of helpful. It’s a mental health thing that I’m kind of stubborn and haven’t spoken to a doctor about since I was a teenager because I manage to get by.”

He sighs. “Well, I’m glad you have work that you’re happy with. You are happy with it, right?”

“Yes. I love working here.”

Hugo grins. Every time I see him smile, it makes my stomach flutter. “Good. I like that you work here. We probably wouldn’t have met otherwise and I’m really glad we’re friends.”

“Me too,” I whisper.

“I’m going to warm up. See you after the game?”

I nod.

He flashes me another beaming smile and leaves. Once I’m alone again, I place my hands on the table and take a deep breath, trying to steady my wild heart. The number of times I’ve had to remind myself that I’m reading far too much into this is incredible. Like seriously, pathetic.

We’re friends. He’s used that word a whole lot, as if he’s purposefully reminding me. We’re friends. Just friends. Only friends. Nothing more.

It’s fine. I love being his friend. I wouldn’t change a thing.

When I check the time, it’s close enough to when the fans are going to start coming in, so I dress in my costume. Surry the Seal has a bucket with him most of the time because seals in captivity have trainers who give them treats from buckets. I carry around the giveaways in my bucket. It has a lid so no one can randomly take something nor put something in it .

I don’t always take the bucket with me. Right now, I have about a dozen L.A. Golden Tides lanyards on my arm, hooking them around a carabiner sewn into my arm for just this purpose. Now I have free use of both my hands, but still have something with me.

I wait a few more minutes, watching the clock on the wall so I’m not too early. When I can’t sit here anymore, I leave my office and follow the winding halls near the team suite until I get to the elevator that will take me to the lobby.

As soon as I step into the lobby, I can hear the crowds outside. I reach up, feeling the big head on my shoulders, assuring myself that no one can see me. This isn’t me. I’m Surry the Seal right now, not Torin Jonah. You’d think the restricted and distorted view would be enough to remind me. But I need to feel it as an extra assurance.

Once my brain is reasonably certain that I’m Surry right now, I step in front of one of the sets of double doors. There’s a vestibule between each set, making up three primary entrances. Within the vestibule are the ticket scanner people. I’m sure they have an official title but I’m not sure what it is.

When I step into the first vestibule, a ticket scanner lady says hi to me, and I find a little girl pressed against the glass. Her face breaks out into a smile when she sees me. I press my hands and face against the glass too and see her laughing.

Rarely do I actually speak inside my costume. My argument is that seals don’t speak. Sure, they also don’t have hands and legs and can walk around bipedally, but I’m sticking with my reasoning. We’re just going to have to communicate via body language and obscene hand gestures.

“Less than a minute,” someone behind me says.

Oh good. I didn’t come out here ridiculously early.

“Want to count down, Surry?”

I nod and wait until they give me the ten second warning. When they do, I hold up my hands for the girl to see. 10. 9. 8.

When I get to eight, the crowd catches on and starts chanting the countdown. The girl is jumping. I can’t hear her excitement over the many voices now, but I can see her energy. I wonder if she actually enjoys hockey or if she’s just tagging along with her family and is excited for the excursion.

She’s got a yellow wave painted on one cheek and is wearing a jersey. The number tells me it’s an Atty jersey. She should be wearing Hugo’s number, but I won’t judge her. She’s probably five. I’m guessing she didn’t pick out her jersey at all.

When we reach zero, the doors open. I turn and pretend to run out of the vestibule. It’s only a minor exaggeration because I definitely don’t want to be trapped in that tiny place as people crowd in. I may be hidden away inside this costume, but I’ve been stuck like that before. It can definitely lead to a panic attack. Small spaces. Lots of strangers. Packed in tight with lots of unnecessary touching. Yeah, no thanks.

I leave the lobby and head into the empty arena, making my way down the steps. The teams are likely in their locker rooms getting dressed or stretching maybe. I’m not sure what they do with their time this early.

Sighing, I force my mind away from Hugo. I have a job to do right now. I need to focus.

It was a good game. A kind of nasty game because Tampa is a nasty team. However, we still managed to win 4-2. I’m exhausted by the time I get to strip from my costume. Usually I’m a little better at cleaning up before I head out, but tonight, I just want to climb into bed with the relaxing background noise of my fish tank.

And maybe text with Hugo.

I’m just stepping out of my office when Hugo is walking by. He stops to wait for me, but my stomach drops when I see that there’s a girl under his other arm.

“Hey!” he greets, his usual exuberance evident.

“Hi,” I answer and fall into step beside him since that’s what he’s waiting for.

“What’s up tonight? We’re heading to the bar to celebrate. Want to join us?”

I look at him and shake my head. Not even a little bit do I want to go to the bar. That sounds like a world of horror to me. Hugo pauses once we get outside and turns to face me.

“Sorry. Of course, you don’t.” He stares at me. “I’ll message you later, okay? ”

I nod. It’s not like he owes me anything. We’re just friends. He’s a fucking straight man!

But is it my imagination when he doesn’t immediately walk away? He hesitates as he stares into my eyes. Waiting for me to say something?

“Hugo.”

Hugo jerks, his eyes widening slightly as he turns to the voice. Atty’s on his way to the car with Toby.

“You joining us?”

Hugo nods, flashing him a smile. “Just saying goodnight to Torin.”

“Later, Torin,” Atty calls, smiling and waving. Toby waves too.

I flush and raise my hand.

“I’ll message you later,” Hugo repeats. “Okay?”

I nod again.

It is definitely my imagination when he’s slow to step away, then even slower to turn around. The girl he’s with gives me a curious look. And I try not to be upset. Especially when Hugo opens the passenger side door for her.