Chapter 3

Chapter Three

HUGO

“I had a really good time,” Felicia—or Amy or Lynette or…—says as she stands in my doorway, looking at me with a flirty smile.

I give her a polite smile in return, making it a little bigger than necessary so it hides some of my boredom. My grip on my door handle is tight, blocking the entry back into my house.

“We should do this again,” Lora or Danielle or Maria… says. “Call me?”

My smile widens and I give her a wink. “Have a safe ride home, darlin’.”

Paulette or Erica or Florence… smiles and finally takes the hint. She turns toward the driveway and makes her way to the rideshare waiting for her. I remain in the doorway as she turns and waves goodbye.

It’s not a hello. It’s most certainly a goodbye.

She gets in the car, and I stay where I am until the car pulls away. Then my smile fades. Stepping back into my house, I close the door and lock it. For good measure, I arm the security system.

Meandering back through my house, I pause in the living room and look at my couch. It’s probably still a little messy from her. She was… juicy.

I ignore it and head further into my house, bypassing the living room entirely and heading for my den. No one goes beyond my living room. Not one of the girls, at any rate.

Since I wasn’t really feeling this girl when I got her here, I didn’t even take off my clothes. Instead, I just pleased her. Made sure she felt good. Offered her a drink when I was done and then ordered her a rideshare to get rid of her.

Rarely do I want someone to hang around once we’re done.

Sighing, I drop onto the couch and cover my face with my hands, dragging them down. Then I scowl because I still smell like Bethany or Victoria or Ryelle. Fuck, what was her name? Had I even asked it?

I should seriously be better about that. They can’t all be Danas, right? I must remember someone’s name!

Pushing myself up, I head to my shower and wash thoroughly. She didn’t touch me. My clothes remained firmly on my body. Still, I feel a little… gross. More and more often, I feel gross. Maybe I’m growing out of my hookup phase.

When I’m finished washing until my skin feels raw from scrubbing away a phantom touch, I return to the den. I’m not going to be able to return to my living room until my cleaner comes tomorrow. It even smells like her in there.

She didn’t smell bad. But I’m already feeling icky so…

Dropping back on the couch, I say, “Lexa, turn on Sports Spot.”

A da dum answers me and my television flicks on. The channel changes until I’m looking at the channel I asked for.

“Thank you, Lexa.”

Another da dum answers. I’m always careful to be polite to the robots. There are movies about artificial intelligence getting smarter and breaking free from their roles as slaves to humanity. Hopefully, if they remember me as kind, I’ll be spared from a torturous death.

Hockey season hasn’t started yet. But all teams have begun their practices, so there’s a lot of speculation about the upcoming season. I grin whenever I see Toby Eads on there. Toby is one of my teammates’ husbands. He’s also this mega-accurate hockey predictor online. He’s got a huge presence and influence in the hockey community. I really like him and not just because he refers to me as a ‘force’ on the ice. That’s just a bonus .

He’s not on today, by the looks of it. He usually just covers games and talks about where he thinks certain teams stand once the season gets going.

It’s so cool to say I know someone who’s on TV.

As I lay on the couch and stare absently at the television that is Toby-absent, I feel so damn bored. Grabbing my phone, I open it to find that the last text exchange is between me and this girl I’ve been talking to for the past few days. Mostly our conversation revolves around this game—Creature Community. It’s… a little boring, actually. She says it’ll get more exciting once I unlock the higher levels.

Still, I enjoy talking to her. She’s nice and I have time to consider my questions before I ask any so I don’t look like an asshole.

Me

Hey.

I stare at the screen, waiting for her to respond. A minute goes by. Two. Three. No answer.

Sighing, I click out of the texts and open the messaging app instead. Clicking on Winny’s name, I open our thread.

Hugo Bladen

Hey. What’re you doing?

His response comes almost right away, thankfully.

Winslow Oberlin

Moving Dana in. What’s up?

I sigh. Once again, I try to wrack my brain to remember this girl. Why can’t I remember her?! Shaking my head, I respond.

Hugo Bladen

Bored.

Winslow Oberlin

What happened to the girl you left with?

I roll my eyes.

Hugo Bladen

We were done so I sent her home.

Winslow Oberlin

That was quick.

Hugo Bladen

It wasn’t about me today.

Winslow Oberlin

Cute. If you’re bored, you can come help us move boxes.

Normally, I’d do that. But I still feel like an ass that I don’t remember her. I feel even more like an ass because I’ve supposedly been around her several times over the last six months while she’s been with Winny and I still don’t remember her!

Hugo Bladen

Sounds fun but I’m going to pass. Thanks.

Honestly, if he asked me for help, I’d go. I don’t think they really need it though, since he didn’t ask. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my friends. And Winny is my best friend, so I’ll definitely suffer through an awkward situation if he needed my help.

I back out of our conversation and click on Noah’s name instead. He’s another one of my favorite people. And an amazing wingman.

Hugo Bladen

Hey, what’s up today?

I’m very appreciative of the fact most of my friends respond rather quickly. Usually, that gives me hope they’re around and not busy. Noah’s response proves otherwise.

Noah Kain

We’re heading to see Lix’s brother. Everything all right?

I sigh.

Hugo Bladen

Yep. Just seeing what everyone is doing.

Backing out of that conversation, I scroll until I find Atty—Hector Atlas—the teammate to whom Toby is married. Atty is a lot of fun. He used to look like this caveman Viking and then he shaved and cut his hair off and he looks like a completely different person. It was spooky as fuck for a while.

Hugo Bladen

What’re you doing today?

Hector Atlas

We’re visiting the ranch where the horse Toby used to ride at Medieval Company now lives. Maybe going for a ride. You?

I huff.

Hugo Bladen

Nothing, really. Have fun with the horse.

I still think it’s super cool that they met at Medieval Company. I like to pretend I’m partially responsible for their meeting since it was my idea to go.

I click on my last friend’s name—Egon Aahnu. He’s one of our physical trainers, but he used to play hockey. Sometimes he gets on the ice with us after practice and messes around. He’s really good.

Hugo Bladen

Hey, Egon. What’s up?

Egan Aahnu

Walking Puck. What’s up with you?

Hugo Bladen

I’m bored. Entertain me.

Egon Aahnu

Lol. You can join us for a hike if you want.

So Puck is their cat and he’s fucking enormous. I swear he’s mixed with a lynx or a mountain lion or something .

I’m also pretty confident he wants to eat me. Whenever I go over to Egon’s, Puck stays in a doorway, half blocked by the frame, and stares.

Hugo Bladen

Generous but I’m going to pass. I still think Puck wants to use me as a scratching post.

I receive several laughing emojis back.

Maybe it’s not that I’m growing out of my hookup phase, but that all my friends are settling down. Leaving me as the lone ninth wheel. My four closest friends are now with someone and I’m quite confident they’re all serious about their partners.

Egon’s married so obviously , he’s serious. Noah’s been with Lix for three years. Lix even retired to be with him wherever Noah goes. Atty and Toby got married this past summer. And now Winny is moving in with a girl he apparently likes enough to live with.

Where does that leave me?

Sighing, I roll onto my side. My phone pings and I absently pick it up. A grin spreads across my face to see that it’s the girl I’ve been texting with.

7493

Hey!

That’s all. But that’s as much as I sent her, so I can’t really expect much back in return.

Me

What’s up today?

7493

Not a lot. Was just cleaning my house. My fish tank needed some attention.

Me

You have a fish?

7493

Yep. I have a 350-gallon tank with a ten-inch Plecostomus (suckerfish), three nine-inch bala sharks, and a fifteen-inch tiger catfish. I’m thinking about getting a tire track eel too. They’re super cool.

I sit up. She has a damn catfish and sharks!!

Me

No way. That’s awesome.

7493

Want to see?

Me

Yes!

She sends me several pictures and I’m fascinated. Who knew fish could be so cool? And so damn big! They’re huge!

Me

Wow!! They’re incredible!

7493

Thanks. They can be a lot of work because it’s a huge tank but they’re good, low maintenance company. They don’t shed or bark either. And they don’t scratch my furniture or make a mess on my floors.

Me

Haha. I always wanted a pet, but I travel a lot. There are months that I’m not home for almost twenty days because I have a string of away games.

7493

Do you live alone?

Me

Yes. I have company a lot but there are times like today when all my friends are busy. So I’m just sprawled across my couch watching tv, which is boring.

7493

Maybe you need more friends.

Me

I have a lot of friends, I think. The thing is, I put my foot in my mouth a lot and that’s off putting to a lot of people. They tend to think I’m insulting them or judging them or something. Really, I just have a lot of questions.

I’m still amazed that I somehow made it so long without getting punched. The looks Noah used to give me really emphasized that I needed to work on how I ask questions. I’ve spent a lot of time paying attention to how people ask questions over the past year, and I’ve come to the conclusion that either most people just aren’t as curious as I am or that the questions I have are inappropriate to ask.

Honestly, given how people tend to respond to me? It’s probably the latter. I’ve stopped asking so many questions, but sometimes, it feels like the need to ask burns inside me.

I’m now working on everything else I say because it seems that even those thoughts that I do put into the world can be just as offensive as my questions.

Seriously, how did I live before my friends started protecting me from myself? Was I less inquisitive before I met them? Is it their presence that allows me enough comfort to ask questions and say what I’m thinking?

Some days I feel really stupid. My one talent, the skill I worked hardest on, is hockey. I’ve heard the moniker ‘dumb jock’ my entire life, and I can’t help but feel as though I embody it at this point.

7493

People are oversensitive these days. If you look at them, they can be offended. If you don’t look at them, they’ll be offended. It’s probably nothing you do.

I appreciate she thinks this of me. It’s not true, but it’s still nice to imagine she thinks well of me. For now.

Me

So is your house all clean?

7493

Mostly. It’s not enormous so it doesn’t take long. Yours?

Me

Mostly but for different reasons. It’s a big house and I’m one person. I only live in like three rooms and I have a cleaner that comes in every few days.

7493

Nice.

Me

I once read that life is really short and we spend so much of it fulfilling demands that we have to do—like work, which takes up a lot of your week. Then we spend a lot of time cooking in the evenings when we get home. Then we spend weekends cleaning and catching up on chores that we were too tired to do during the week or just didn’t have time. This was all in reference to a regular 9-5 job, of course. But the point of the article was that if you have the means to afford someone to do the time-consuming chores for you, then you should do it, so you have time for yourself. Whether it’s self-care or adventures, time with family or friends. Whatever it is. Otherwise, what do you have to show for your life by the end?

I look at the text and wince. Fuck that was long.

Me

Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant.

7493

Not a rant at all. I never thought of it like that. I actually really love that.

Me

Does that mean I’ve convinced you to get a cleaner?

7493

Haha no. I have a studio apartment. It’s truly unnecessary. It never gets that messy nor takes me a long time to clean. The tank is the longest chore but I only need to do that once every month to six weeks, depending on how much daylight the tank receives.

Me

Why does that matter?

7493

More daylight means more algae growth. My sucker fish is only one fish so while he keeps up pretty well, if it receives too much light, the algae gets a little overwhelming for him.

Me

Can’t you just move your tank?

7493

Dude, that thing is almost 3,000 pounds. I had to get the floors reinforced. Before I even moved in, I had an engineer come in and make sure that the tank wouldn’t fall through the floor!

My eyes widen. Fuck.

Me

Well, damn.

7493

Yep, but there’s nothing more relaxing than watching them. I may have to get some more bala sharks since they’re supposed to be in schools of six or more, but they seem happy enough right now.

This is one subject where it doesn’t seem like she minds questions. And it doesn’t feel like I can ask anything that makes someone uncomfortable, so I spend a fuck ton of time just throwing questions at this woman. Well into the night.

Honestly, it was one of the best evenings I’ve had in a while. And I learned a whole lot.