Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

HUGO

The buzzer sounds. Not the short buzzer to announce we’ve made a goal, but the long one signaling the end of the game. I glance up at the score. 5-4. We won. I thought we were ahead, but we’d been battling it out in our zone for the last few minutes and I was solely concentrating on making sure the puck didn’t get too close to Winny.

Grinning, I spin around until I can find Torin-as-Surry the Seal. We’ve been together for more than twenty-four hours now. He spent the night last night and we woke up together.

Of course, we did. That’s what happens when you spend the night somewhere. There was something surreal about it. Like… I couldn’t believe it was my life.

He was extra shy in the morning. Probably because he’d been hard all night and woke up hard, too. But I didn’t call attention to it. He was mortified enough, and I really don’t mind. I mean, I wake up hard every morning. Maybe guys grow out of that, but I haven’t, yet. So I was hard too, which I think only amped up Torin’s horror.

Outside of that though—actually, even with that—I loved everything about this morning. I loved taking turns showering. It had been on the tip of my tongue to invite him into the shower with me. I have two shower heads and a rain head in the middle. Usually, I have them all on and the shower is enormous. It’s no different than communal showers in the locker room .

Winny’s words that I often play as a chant in my head stopped me. Think before you speak. It would make Torin uncomfortable. Probably. When I showed him my 3D dick and offered for him to make something—not meaning a dick, but I definitely understood why he heard that because it’s what I practically said to him!—I’d sent him into a panic attack.

Torin’s shy. He has anxiety around people, so I’m very aware of that and try not to add to it. I want to be the one to ease it for him. I imagine it must be exhausting and he probably needs a break.

We didn’t ride here together, though. I wasn’t sure if he’d want to go home after and I didn’t want him to feel trapped with me. But we spent the morning together making breakfast and watching TV. Talking about the girl I’d been texting and about hockey. Then we had lunch together and hung out in the backyard. It was a nice day, so we enjoyed some fresh air before I had to head to the arena for pregame warmup. I offered to let Torin stay at my house until he had to be at the arena, but he chose to go in then, too.

I find him by the box with his hands on the glass. There’s a little boy with him, also with his hands on the glass. Surry the Seal wiggles and looks down at the boy. I’m rather impressed at the way he’s able to get his emotions across. I can practically feel his excitement, even if it’s fake and just for the boy.

Skating toward them, I stop at the boards and hit the glass right at Surry’s hand. He pulls it away and pretends to look at it in awe. The little boy’s eyes are wide, his mouth open in an O. Surry turns his hand toward the boy and motions for the boy to high five him. He does and even I know he just transferred my high five to the boy.

The kid runs off and Torin-as-Surry looks at me. I wink and nod toward the chute. “See you in a bit?”

He nods, so I turn away. I’m not sure if he actually heard me, but I imagine he understood well enough.

There’s a lot of chatter in the locker room when I join them and drop to the bench. I need to stretch. I’m feeling a little stiff. Pulling at my jersey and top pads, I work my way out of them. When I’m free, Atty is standing over me in a towel.

“You coming out with us to celebrate tonight?” he asks.

I’m torn. I really don’t want to go without Torin, but I love celebrating with my friends. Torin won’t want to go, there will be far too many people. That would probably be a very uncomfortable place for him.

“Been a while since you’ve been out with us,” Atty comments.

He’s right so I nod. “Yeah. I’m coming.”

“Cool. We’re heading to PJ’s—the usual.”

I nod again. “Kay. I’ll be there once I’m clean.”

Atty grins and turns to his cubby. I methodically get out of my gear and grab a towel on my way to the shower. Under the hot water, I do the first thing I do every time—scrub my hands with body wash. Hockey hands are gross.

While I’m scrubbing, I stand under the shower and let the water run over me. The heat of it and the pressure soothes my aching muscles. Maybe I’m getting too old for this. I’m not thirty, though, and I’m still doing really well, I think. I must be, right? L.A. has kept my contract for a few years now. I don’t have a huge goal tally, but I block a lot of goal attempts, which is actually my job.

Once my hands are probably clean, I rinse them and bring them to my face. Okay, just a hint of stink left. By the time I get through washing my hair and the sweat from my body, my hands should be clean. I suds my hair next and then use the shower walls to stretch my back, twisting and bending.

When I get shampoo in my eye, that’s my cue to rinse and move on to washing my body. Once I rinse, I rub my hands over my face and yawn. Maybe I am getting old. There’s a part of me that just wants to go home and sleep.

Turning off the water, I wrap the towel around my waist and head for the locker room. It’s almost empty now. Just Winny is left as I sit on my bench again. I have a second towel here that I wipe my feet dry with and reach for my socks. Clean socks because I refuse to put socks back on my feet once they come off. Not even if I’d only worn them here. I’m weird like that.

Winny stands over me with his hands in his pockets. I smile. “You coming out tonight?” I nod. “You okay, Hugo?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I haven’t seen you much lately.”

“Oh.” I pause in pulling one of my socks up. “Guess I’ve been hanging at home. ”

“Are you truly okay with me seeing Dana?”

My eyebrows knit together. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You haven’t been over since she moved in, and you used to come over quite a bit. Noah, Atty, and Egon say they haven’t seen you much either. You haven’t even been taking girls home.”

I think about it and he’s not wrong. The last girl, which was a while ago, I just took for ice cream and then dropped her off at home. I wasn’t feeling it. She was beautiful. The exact kind of girl that I usually prefer. But… I just wanted to go home alone.

And talk to the girl I don’t know in text. Maybe Torin too. Okay, definitely Torin too.

I shake my head, not really having an explanation for Winny.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” I answer and smile. “I’m fine. Guess I’ve just needed a break from the monotony of bringing girls home.”

He studies me as I get to my feet. Dropping the towel, I turn to grab my pants from the hanger. I’m not a huge fan of suits. They just don’t fit my crotch right. These bottoms are big to the point where I look ridiculous, but it’s already obscene wearing a suit and my dick showing. Imagine wearing a tight suit with my dick fully on display! At least the jacket fits well, though.

Winny sighs as I pull my pants up and reach for my shirt. “Okay, man. I trust that you’ll say something if you’re feeling… any particular way.”

“What way?”

“I don’t know. I’ve known you for quite a while, and you’re just a little off lately. We’re concerned. But if you say nothing’s wrong, I’m going to trust you.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I insist. Because it’s the truth. “Promise.”

Winny nods. “Okay. See you at PJ’s?”

I nod. “Yep. As soon as I’m dressed I’m heading over.”

He echoes my nod. “See you there.”

I’m tucking my shirt in and stepping into my shoes at the same time as he leaves the locker room. Then I arrange my cock so it’s laying alongside my left leg tonight. I swap its position regularly. I don’t know if it was more than a funny meme, but I read something that said if I always put my dick on one side of my body, it’ll bend that way. I’m pretty confident the human body doesn’t work that way, but I’m not taking my chances.

Lastly, I slip on my jacket and reach my hands into the pockets. I feel something in the right one and fish it out. A grin splits my face as I bring out a tiny yellow duck. Winny said they’re concerned about me. I should do a better job at being a good friend.

I sigh, my heart feeling full, and put the duck back in my pocket along with my phone. Grabbing my bag of dirty shit, I leave the locker room, stopping at Torin’s office along the way. The door is shut, but I can see the light on beneath the door, so I knock and then crack it open. He’s inside, just taking off his Surry the Seal head.

My heart does something funny in my chest when he turns to look at me and a smile crosses his face when he sees it’s me in his door. “Hey,” Torin says.

“Hi. I liked your shimmy dance tonight.”

Torin laughs, his cheeks flushing. “Thanks.”

“So… you going home?”

He shrugs. “I was going to.”

“It’s kind of late,” I tell him. “You can spend the night at my house.”

I love the way he looks at me. His shy smile. The pink in his cheeks. The way he kind of bows his head, but he’s still looking at me.

“I know you don’t go out much, but I promised my friends that I’d go to PJs for a while tonight. Do you want to come?”

Torin’s shoulders tense and he shakes his head. “No. I?—”

I shake my head quickly. “It’s okay. I don’t invite you when I go out with them because I know it’s not your thing. There’s a lot of people and I know how that makes you feel and I don’t want to put you in that position. Just know that even when I don’t ask you to come, I still want you to. Okay?”

His expression is hard to read. There’s a smile but it’s small. Almost sad? His eyebrows are knit together as he looks at me and his shoulders droop. Have I hurt his feelings?

“I’m not going to stay long. I promise.”

He takes a deep breath. “You can stay as long as you want, you know. ”

Dropping my bag outside his door, I step in and cross the room. I hope he needs a hug because I think I do, so I pull him into my chest. His arms circle my waist right away. “I don’t want to go at all. But Winny said they’re worried about me because I’m acting differently or something, and I… maybe I haven’t been a good friend to them lately. So I’m just going to go for a few minutes. Okay?”

Torin nods. “Yes but really, Hugo. You don’t need to?—”

My arms tighten. “Please spend the night,” I murmur. He shivers in my hold, his arms tightening a little. “I would much rather be there with you.”

Torin nods. “Okay.”

We stand there for a few more minutes before I let him go. Grabbing my keys out of my pocket, I detach my house key and hand it to him. “I’ll message you the security code and I swear, I’ll be there soon. Okay?”

Torin accepts my key and nods.

“You can lock up behind you. There’s a spare key hidden outside, but it’s dark and I don’t want you to have to try to find it in the dark when I know right where it is.”

He nods again. “Okay.”

Smiling, I squeeze his wrist. “I promise, I won’t be long.”

Torin nods once more.

I back out of the room and grab my things, waving as I leave him. I hate the way my stomach feels a little tipsy as I do. A little sour. I wish he were coming with me.

PJ’s is just down the road. The parking lot is crowded and once again, I realize I just don’t want to be here. But I think about what Winny said and I force myself out of the car. I don’t want my friends to worry about me. Maybe I’ll just tell them that I’ve been hanging out with Torin, and he gets really anxious around a lot of people so we haven’t been hanging out with others too.

But am I allowed to share that stuff? In case I’m not, I decide I won’t volunteer that information.

“Hey, Hugo!” the security man says with a wide smile. “Haven’t seen you in a while. You good, man?”

Okay, apparently my absence has been very obvious to everyone around me. I nod. “Yep. Just been hanging at home. You good, Mario? Family good? ”

He beams at me. “Everything’s great, man. Good to see you. Your team is already inside.”

Mario steps back and I walk past him.

The bar is dark and loud with music and party lights and bodies everywhere. I find my friends right where I always do. Noah immediately leaves his stool when he sees me and grabs my hand. “No one will dance with me.”

I know his boyfriend doesn’t dance much. The only one who ever entertains it besides me is Toby, but when I look at the table, I find Toby and Atty’s heads together looking rather… mushy.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

He beams, waves at Lix over his shoulder, and pulls me along. Usually, I’m pulled away from him within a song or two by some girl, and Noah always lets me go. But tonight, when a girl tries to break in, I grip Noah tighter. His eyes flicker to mine before he gives the girl a sweet smile and yells, “Not tonight. This stud is mine.”

I dance with Noah until he wants to rest, stealing a selfie of us on the dance floor at one point because I’m not hating being out like I thought I might. When we head back to the table and squeeze into a seat beside Winny (who has the girl I presume is Dana on his other side—I don’t recognize her at all.), I send the pic of me and Noah dancing to Torin and a quick ‘wish you were here’ text along with it.

I contemplate texting the girl I haven’t spoken to much lately since I seem to be preoccupied with Torin, but it’s really late and I don’t want to wake her.

Egon pushes a drink toward me, offering me a big smile. “It’s light,” he says.

Sighing, I take a sip and look around. I cuddle a little closer to Winny when it looks like maybe there’s a girl heading in my direction. He leans back and wraps an arm around my shoulders, though his attention doesn’t leave Dana and their conversation.

I’ve never noticed how attuned we all are toward each other. Once again, it makes me feel bad that I’ve been such a shitty friend. I need to do better.

My phone pings and I flip the screen on. My heart jumps.

Torin Jonah

I’ll stop in for a minute. On my way.