44. Dom

Three Days Later

Today, I'm heading to T's. He'll hear what's going on eventually. There's no way to hide it. Dad offered to go with me, but I declined. Things are going to be tense enough. Plus, it just feels like something I need to do on my own. I need someone to talk to. My brother knows me better than anyone. He also knows Thea. Watching her hurt so much has gutted me. I have to find some way to fix this mess.

I'm praying the men that the club put on Gabby discovers something that will help. I need to know the truth. Only then can I figure out how to tackle this situation and get Thea back. I can't live without her and if what Breaker is telling me is the truth, she misses me just as much. I'm praying T has forgiven me enough that I can talk to him.

I finally make it to the DC clubhouse. I sit outside in my truck for a few minutes, trying to calm my nerves. I'm worried about hurting T. I don't think anything about Gabby could do that anymore. My brother is ridiculously happy with Lyla and baby Tamsin. Still, he could get pissed that I slept with Gabby after finding out what she did to both of us. I doubt he will give me the benefit of a doubt like Dad, Bull and Breaker are doing.

I finally get out of the truck. I'm wearing my Savage Brothers cut today. Breaker brought it over last night. I'm still not positive about coming back to the club, but it means something that they all have my back through this. They think it's safer for me to enter DC territory with my cut, considering the Feral Kings are targeting us and the DC members. Wouldn't want some of T's club taking potshots at me, thinking I'm part of the Feral Kings.

When I make it to the entrance, I give my name. One guard uses a two-way radio and tells them I'm out here. When he gets the all-clear, he gives me directions to T's office. Walking into the DC club house, I can't stop the desperation from rolling through me as I look for T.

It took a lot of convincing myself before I could step foot in here—even if my brother is here. I have no idea how this happened. Well, I know how it happened, but I have no idea what to do about it. I need T to tell me everything will be fine. At this point, I don't even care if he lies to me. I just need someone I trust to help me get my head straight. T has always been that man for me. Since he's left the Savage Brothers, I feel his absence in my life daily.

I know I fucked up. I do. Now I'm overwhelmed and don't know how to fix it. And here I am again, knowing that what I'm going to say may hurt my brother, yet needing his presence because I'm rocked to the core. I feel walls closing in and there's no one safe to talk to about it except my brother. He also needs to hear this from me—not anyone else. I owe him that. I stomp through the clubhouse, looking for T, ready to get this over with.

As I turn a corner down a long hallway, I collide with King, the last person I want to see right now. I'm already in a mood and now I'm just pissed off. I don't like the motherfucker. Something about him screams bad news. I admit some of that is because he could help T when I couldn't. That is a bunch of horseshit. I don't understand genetics but knowing a stranger could help my brother and I couldn't, eats at me.

No matter who the motherfucker might be.

"Fucking watch it," I snap, unable to stop from letting my anger unfurl as I look at him. He doesn't budge.

"You think the world revolves around you. Someday you're going to have to grow up, kid," King says, with cool confidence. His cocky smile makes me want to punch him. The way he calls me kid makes my blood boil.

"I haven't been a kid in a long time, old man," I tell him, flexing my fingers, dying to ball my hand into a fist and knock that look off his face.

"All I see is a kid," King spits out as he steps toward me. He's at least a foot taller than I am, but I've taken down bigger.

Bring it on, motherfucker.

Before I can do anything, T steps between us, pushing us away from one another. I drop my hands, knowing there's no way I'll get to King now. I can't piss T off when I came here for his help.

"Knock it off, you two. Wh-why are you here, Dom? Is something wrong with M-Mom or D-Dad?" T asks.

"No, I just need to talk to you. Something has happened and I don't know how to deal with it. I need to talk to you, man." Fuck, I hate being in this position.

"What?" T asks, looking me over.

"I want to talk to you alone T," I tell him after looking at King with a grimace.

"K-king is my brother," T says. "H-he doesn't h-have to leave."

"It's not a club matter, T. It's personal and I need my brother right now." I don't like showing any weakness, especially in front of King, but he deserves to know what is going on. Shit, my head is a mess and I need him. T has a way of calming me and letting me think rationally. Fuck, I need that right now.

Before T can say anything, King cuts him off. "It's cool. I'm leaving. The stink here is getting to me." T sighs before King slaps him on his back as he passes. "See you later, T. I'm heading to pick my woman up from the diner, anyway. Bye Kid," King calls out to me.

"Fuck you," I tell King before turning back to T. "How can you be happy here? I just don't get it."

"I love my club and b-brothers. It's home. What's up? What did you need to t-t-talk to me about?"

"Can we get out of the hallway before I lay it on you?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. Now that I don't have my anger directed at King, I don't know how I'm going to tell T.

I follow him the few steps to the room he just came out of. It's a small office with fluorescent shop lights on the ceiling. There are no windows, but the desk has a picture of him, Lyla, and Tamsin. He sits down behind it, and it's as if my brother is a completely different man than the one that I remember. He really does belong here…

"Okay, now t-tell me. W-w-what's g-going on?"

It's now or never. I let the words fall from my mouth before I can chicken out.

"Gabby's pregnant."

I see T's eyes dilate. His breath catches and I prepare myself for the worst. I all but fall into one of the chairs across from his desk. I grip the arms of it so tight, it's a wonder the wood doesn't crack.

"W-Why do you care?" he asks, sounding confused.

"She says it's mine."

Those words begin to spark inside him. I can see the anger behind his stare. "Thought you w-were w-with Thea? What the fuck, Dom?"

I wince at the anger in his voice.

"It was before Thea and I were together, T."

"I can't believe you were still fucking with her," he yells. He doesn't stutter a word this time. Somehow, that makes me feel worse.

"I wasn't," I deny immediately. "I got drunk, and I swear when I passed out in the motel across from Pussy's, I was alone. Gabby was there the next morning in bed with me. She said I called her and a bunch of other shit. I remember nothing other than passing out and waking up to my worst nightmare the next morning."

He studies me, and I guess I was hoping for words of support or something. He doesn't offer those. "How's Thea?"

A bitter smile moves over my face. "Not talking to me. She moved back in with her parents."

T actually laughs. "That's my girl."

"Do you hate me so much that you're glad she left me? I know I probably deserve it, but Thea is my world. I'm dying without her. If I can't manage to get her back, I don't know what I'm going to do."

He studies me and sighs. "Thea won't l-let you run over her."

"I don't want to. Thea's the only person in my life who gives me everything she is. I don't worry about her keeping secrets or hiding what she thinks. She's completely open, letting it all hang out and not caring if she left herself vulnerable. I love that about her. I want to cherish it and make it a safe place for her. Instead, I have only caused her pain. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't think I can survive without her."

"That's your p-p-problem," T huffs out. "You need to stop worrying ab-b-bout you and focus on her."

"Hard to do when she won't even talk to me."

"You c-could give up and m-move on," he suggests, and his words have never cut me more.

"That's your solution? I come to you for support, and this is what you tell me? Why I thought you would help me, I don't know. I get it, T. I kept secrets from you and left it up to Gabby to tell you everything. I was a chicken shit for doing that. I deserve your anger, but don't you think you've paid me back enough?"

"W-What are you talking about? I d-d-don't give a damn about p-paying you back. I c-couldn't. I met Lyla out of all of this. I'm h-h-happy. The w-w-world d-d-doesn't revolve around you, D-D-Dom."

"Is that what you think of me? That I feel like the world revolves around me? Fuck, maybe you never knew me at all. I've spent my life trying to shield people I love from more hurt. In the end, it all backfired. Everything I did just made you hurt more. I stayed with Gabby because of a promise I made. I pushed her to be the one to hurt you, so I didn't. Yet, I selfishly let it go on so long because I felt trapped. I swear, though, T. I didn't know she was playing you just like she was me. I had no idea. If I had, I would have told you sooner. None of the decisions I made were because I thought everything was about me, or fuck, maybe it was. I was determined not to make the mistakes our old man made, and yet here I am."

"W-what do you mean?"

"I shielded you from that, too. You never had to hear the arguments Mom and Dad had. You didn't even know why Mom moved us to Crusher and Aunt Dani's for a while. Maybe I was being selfish not telling you everything back then, too," I mock, knowing damn well that in this situation ignorance was bliss. No seven-year-old should stay awake at night hearing his mother cry and his parents fighting. No one at that age should see their hero fall from their pedestal. No one.

"W-what are you talking about?"

"This was a mistake. You obviously have the brother you want now. You don't need me either," I mutter more to myself than to T. It seems I'm on the outside looking in with my dad and with T. I stand up and turn to the door. T stops me by grabbing my shoulder.

"W-What the fuck?"

"You could have told me King was our brother. If I keep secrets, so do you, T. You could have reached out. I needed you. Although, I guess that's all about me, too. I guess I'm selfish, expecting my brother to have my back. Then again, you had reason to want to give me payback. Didn't you?"

"D-Dom…"

"You may not think I deserve Thea. Hell, I know you're right. I don't deserve her. The thing is, I love her. I'm in love with her to the point that I can't breathe without her. Maybe that makes me a selfish asshole, and I'm only thinking about myself, but I don't give a fuck. My whole life I worried about Mom, Gabby, you, and not making empty promises and mistakes like Dad made. I'm sick of it. With Thea, I'm going to be selfish. I will figure out how to get her back and I'm never letting her go, even if she deserves someone better. I'm who she gets. As for the rest of you, don't worry. I've gotten the message. I'm expendable."

"T-That's not what I s-s-said," T argues. "It was K-K-King's secret to-to-to tell."

"Funny. You would have been the first one I'd have told if the roles were reversed. This was a mistake," I sigh, scrubbing my face with my hand, feeling damn tired. "I came here looking for advice and maybe some support. I also felt I owed it to you to find out from me what was going on. Regardless of how you feel about me since the shit with Gabby came out, T, I love you. I've always loved you. I know I fucked up royally, but I miss you in my life."

"Dom—"

"It's okay. Just know that no matter what I have to do, I'm not giving Thea up. I'd set the world on fire for her and rejoice as it burned down around us—as long as she was in my arms."

I walk to the door of his office and open it when his voice stops me. "Dom?"

"Yeah?"

"Thea will come around. D-Don't give up on her."

"I can't," I tell him.

"G-G-Gabby lies. Be c-caref-ful."

"I know. Dad and the boys are helping there, too. Take care of yourself, T."

"Y-Y-You're right. Should have t-t-told you about King."

"It's all good. I mostly knew already. I've been expecting him to show up since I was seven. I was just hoping I was wrong."

"I m-miss you too, Dom."

"I get Thea back, maybe you will come back to Kentucky with Lyla and Tamsin here and there? I'd like to…get to know my brother. You're different now."

"You are, too," he says, and he's right. I am. So, I nod and walk away. I know eventually T and I will be okay, but I'm not sure we'll ever be as close as we once were. Maybe the blame of that lies at my feet solely—maybe the two of us have just changed. I won't pretend it doesn't hurt that my little brother is probably closer to King these days. I have no idea what to do with any of it, so I push it to the back of my mind. I need to concentrate on Thea. I'm going to fight to get her back. I can't let her go.

I won't.