4. Derek

4

Derek

I ’d been leaning against my kitchen island, staring into space for a while, lost to daydreams of mistletoe and snowflakes, when I was brought back to reality by a knock on the door.

Before I could even consider answering it, the door swung open, and my best friend and co-worker, Leander, stuck his head inside. “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Derek!” he called, letting himself in.

“You’re three days late,” I muttered into my coffee mug as he stomped his boots on the mat, knocking the snow loose.

“Don’t be salty,” he said. “Victor surprised me with a trip to Colorado. We just got back, aaand I brought you something…” he sang, skipping across the hardwood floor in his socked feet, brandishing a small gift bag.

“Hmm, is it a shot glass from the hotel gift shop?” I asked with a teasing lilt .

Leander had the grace to look at least a little chagrined. “…Maybe, but it’s classy as fuck, I swear.” He grinned slyly. “So, do you forgive me for missing Christmas?”

“Of course,” I said, opening my arms for a hug. I would always forgive him.

I didn’t mean to be bitter about my bestie being in love. I wanted him to be happy, truly, but… maybe if he could tone down all the bliss? At least until I found my happy ever after. It had to happen sooner or later. I’d like to believe I was a catch.

“You want some coffee?” I offered, already heading to the cupboard to grab a mug; he never turned coffee down. Except as I was pouring, my hands were shaking, and I nearly slopped it over my hand.

“Whoa, you’d better let me do that.” He nudged me to the side and took over. “How many cups have you had, exactly?”

“Uh, I dunno. Three, maybe?” The full pot I’d made this morning was already half empty.

Leander raised his eyebrows. “Hun, it’s not even ten yet.”

I shrugged. “I know, but I’m tired.”

“No wonder you’re jittery. Okay, well, maybe have some breakfast or something. You need to balance that caffeine out.”

I shook my head. “I’m not hungry, but I can make you something if you want.” I was never hungry at all in the mornings. I always woke up feeling like I’d just eaten a huge meal.

Crossing the kitchen, I went to grab some bread for toast, but the counter was bare. I peeked into the fridge, frowning. Huh, I could’ve sworn I bought a loaf… Disoriented and only vaguely aware that my friend was saying something, I trudged through to the living room and plopped down on the couch .

Leander followed, watching me carefully. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?” He sat beside me and reached out, slapping a hand to my forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

I swatted him away, feeling grumpier than usual. “I’m fine, just haven’t been sleeping well.”

He nodded, tapping his chin. “Hmm, fatigue, low appetite, grouchy… weight gain,” he added, poking my stomach.

I grabbed a throw cushion and hugged it to belly. “Hey! Rude.”

“Maybe, but I’m not wrong. Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” he asked, spearing me with a suspicious look, as if I was holding out on him.

I sputtered, laughing. “Trust me. Last I checked, it takes two to make a baby, and I’ve been very solo for far too long.” If I was single for much longer, I was at serious risk of developing calluses on my palm.

“How long has this been going on?” he asked worriedly.

I sighed, thinking back. I could remember having trouble staying awake in class even back in high school. “A while…” I said vaguely, “but it started getting worse when I moved out of my parents’ place.”

“Babe, that’s over a year! Why haven’t you gone to see the doctor yet. Maybe you’re iron deficient or something.”

There was a faint tinkling sound off to the left, and I turned to see the cat batting at the Christmas tree. Typical cat , I thought with an eyeroll. “Chewy, stop that.” I leaned over and nudged him off the arm of the couch. He hopped down, and I frowned when I saw the ornament he’d been playing with. An elf, about three inches tall, in a red vest and trousers, and itty-bitty bells on the toes of his slippers.

“Hey, this is pretty,” Leander said, drawing my attention. “Is it new?” He was holding the snow globe, watching the glittery snow billow around inside of it. I tried not to let it irritate me that he was handling it. He was being careful, he wouldn’t break it .

“Uh, yeah, it was a Christmas gift,” I said, clenching my hands to keep from snatching it out of his grasp.

“From who?” he asked, setting it down on the coffee table.

“Santa,” I said, half in a daze, my eyes focused on the tiny workshop encased in glass.

“What, you mean like a Secret Santa?”

“I guess,” I replied, my eyes straying back to the elf ornament, a strange tingling sensation creeping up my spine.

Leander gave a loud huff. “Okay, seriously, you’re being weird. You’re going to see a doctor.”

That snapped me out of it, and I did my best to focus. “I can’t, I have to work at noon.” Leander and I both worked at The Pie Bar & Distillery in town, mild-mannered bakery and café during the day, local drinking establishment by night. After dark, you could order all your favorite pie flavors as cocktails.

He waved a hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover your shift for you. Consider it your Christmas present.”

I sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of my nose. I’d been putting this off, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t anything serious, but it was only getting worse the longer I ignored it. “Okay, fine, but you can’t have the novelty shot glass back.”

“I would never dream of it.”

Leander dove into a story about his trip with Victor, about their luggage being overweight, so they’d had to wear four sweaters each on the plane home, but I wasn’t really listening. My mind was elsewhere, lingering on a certain elf.

Without intending to do it, I reached for the ornament and tugged it off the tree, holding it gently in the palm of my hand. It was far more detailed than any ornament I’d ever seen, right down to the stitches in his clothes, the whiskers on his cheeks, and if I didn’t know any better… I’d swear it was warm.

I’d had most of these Christmas ornaments since I was a child. My parents had gifted me one or two a year since they’d adopted me, so there weren’t that many, but I had no recollection of where I got this one from. I would’ve remembered something this beautiful. Maybe whoever left the gift under the tree had also left the elf?

Either that, or maybe memory loss was another symptom of whatever was wrong with me.