6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Sig could barely breathe with Rowan on his lap. He wasn’t afraid of the man, but Rowan’s presence alone was so larger than life that he took up all the air around him.

When he recognized Sig, even with the Santa costume, it had done something huge. For a guy that could easily have anyone, to notice something like that…

Rowan wrapped his arms around Sig’s neck and laid his body over Sig’s. “It’s so dark.”

Sig held him, assuring him, “You’re okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I’m not afraid. I kind of like it, here, in the dark, with you.”

Sig’s heart began to pound out of his chest, but he tried to keep his composure. “I’m not hating it either.”

His laughter was light and contagious. Sig felt him lying over his body, his fingers playing with Sig’s hair. “Who are you?”

Sig felt that old fear return. Someone to know him, know his name, know how vulnerable he could be, it scared him. He’d given himself exactly once. And that had ended in tragedy. But he had to be brave. Rowan was worth it. At least, he hoped he was.

“My name is Santa,” he teased.

“That’s okay for now, but…I want to know who to thank for the most beautiful present I’ve ever received.”

The rose. Sig felt choked up at the thought of Rowan liking it so much. “You…liked it?”

“It’s so beautiful. I have it downstairs. I brought it for luck, hoping to meet the guy who made it.”

Rowan’s movement on him was small, but he made Sig’s head spin. Then he felt lips on his own, as Rowan gave him a light, sweet kiss.

“If you’re trying to turn my head, you’ve already accomplished it.”

Rowan kissed him again, a little harder, but still sweet as candy. No tongue, nothing too forward, but it spoke volumes of how much Rowan wanted more. Just the way he twirled a piece of Sig’s hair between his fingers, one hand resting above Sig’s heart.

At first, Sig thought he was reading too much into the gestures, but Rowan didn’t seem like the type of guy who made empty gestures. As much as Rowan had to flirt with an entire club filled with men who would sell their mothers for his attention, he wasn’t really like that.

How Sig knew any of that, Sig didn’t know. But he knew it, believed it, like he believed the sky was blue.

“Did you make that for me, or do you have a suitcase full of them? Just in case.”

Feeling more forward than he had in ages, Sig grunted, “Only for you. That’s the only one I’ve ever made. Does that make me a sap?”

“It makes you romantic.”

The next kiss was deep, Rowan’s tongue brushing lightly over Sig’s as he kissed him with an open mouth. Their breath combined, their body heat making Sig sweat.

Sig’s arms encircled him, holding Rowan close while his mouth sought and found Rowan’s neck. Suckling there, nipping the soft flesh, Sig felt waves of arousal that wouldn’t be cooled, despite the lack of heat in the club.

“Don’t think badly of me, Santa. I can’t help it, the way you make me feel.”

“My naughty elf, I couldn’t ever think badly of you. I think you’re the most perfect man I’ve ever known.”

A quick intake of air was all he heard before Rowan lay on him, nuzzling his face into Sig’s neck. “You’re going to make me fall in love with you, Santa.”

Sig’s eyes closed, and he held his own breath while those words worked their way deeply into his heart. He couldn’t wish or expect that, even after the words. Men were known to say things, especially in the heat of sexual desire.

Still…he knew Rowan didn’t say things he didn’t mean, just like he didn’t make fake gestures. Sig felt like he couldn’t breathe, but it was his own fault. He was afraid to take a breath. He was scared to feel, to let his heart continue to beat so quickly.

“Santa?”

His voice hoarse, he finally took in a breath so he could hum, “Hmm?”

“Hold me. Just…hold me.”

“I can do that. That would be my pleasure.”

It wasn’t long after that that the emergency lights finally came on, and the people in the club began to clap. Jace came up on stage, smiling over at Sig, giving him a wink just as Rowan pulled off him. Rowan watched with Sig as Jace called for the crowd’s attention.

“Hey, everyone! Sorry about this! Christmas Eve and the shows are canceled for the night. We’ve called for all the coaches to pick you up and take you back to your nice warm cabins. The owner has already assured me you’ll all be refunded for a full day and night of your stay!”

That drew a round of heavy applause, and Rowan moved off Sig’s lap but took his hand to pull him from the throne. “I don’t know if the lights are on downstairs, but I will need to get dressed.”

Jace heard him and came over to them. “Rowan, no worries, the safety lights are on all over the building. Tango is rounding up the people on the top two floors, and I’ll escort you two and the other dancers downstairs to collect your clothes. We’re taking you all in a couple of the resort SUVs.”

“Great. If Santa will come with me, I’ll head down now.”

Jace smiled at Sig. “Santa, will you escort this gentleman and keep him safe?”

“I’d like nothing more.”

“That’s a lie, but it’ll do for now,” Jace laughed.

Rowan held his hand as they left the stage and headed for the stairs. Sig felt like some teenager, scared and excited at once. Rowan’s hand in his was strong and sure, and he led Sig like he was in charge.

Well, Sig rarely let anyone be in charge of him, but for the moment, it was fine. He needed to be led. The territory he was moving inside of was unfamiliar and frightening.

They made it to the basement, and when he saw the star on Rowan’s dressing room door, he smiled. “You’re a star.”

“I’m a dancer in gay clubs. That’s it.”

Inside the dressing room, Rowan gathered his clothes and put them on over his elf costume. “It’s extra insulation,” he explained. “It’s cold here.”

“Gonna be colder with this blizzard.”

Flirtation seemed to come as second nature to Rowan. “You’ll just have to keep me warm, then.”

A rose, a tip, those were things Rowan could get from anyone. Why he seemed to be into Sig was a mystery. When Sig saw the rose on the dressing table, he went to it, remembering every knife cut as he’d carved it. “You really like this, huh?”

“Are you kidding?” Rowan walked over to the dressing table and took the rose in his hands. “You know, I’ve gotten jewelry from men, thousand-dollar tips, invitations for trips on private planes, clothes, whatever. No one ever made me something.”

His eyes moved up to lock with Sig’s. Sig saw sincerity there, in the welling of tears. He grabbed the back of Rowan’s head and kissed him forcefully, unable to contain himself.

When he pulled back, he saw Rowan smiling, though tears streaked down his face. “Why the tears?”

“Happy. I…men always treat me like…I’m out for something, pay for play, and it’s not like I haven’t lived that life. But you? It feels different, and I don’t even know you, but…you’re different. I feel it.”

“I don’t want a thing from you, Rowan. Just…to know you.”

Rowan’s eyes blinked a few times. “Know me?”

Sig knew in that second that he hadn’t lied. As much as he’d love to make love with the man, he wanted more than that. That, he knew, could wait.

“I…want to know you. I can’t explain it. I can’t…”

“You don’t have to. I want to know you, too. It may be the first time in my life that I want to know someone.”

Sig took the rose and moved the smooth petal along Rowan’s jaw, watching as a tear slid onto the petal, darkening the unvarnished wood. That hit him in the chest, how lovely it was. How meaningful. “Let’s get out of here before the lights cut out again.”

Rowan nodded and swiped at the rest of the tears. “I bet this basement is scary in the dark.”

“I’ll protect you.”

Rowan moved to kiss him, and let his lips linger against Sig’s. “I feel safe with you,” he whispered there.

Sig took his bag and hefted it over his shoulder then grabbed Rowan’s hand to lead him out of the basement and back up to the main floor. People were in lines as the coaches packed them in eight to a coach. No one would be very comfortable on the ride back to the cabins, but they’d get there.

The horse-drawn coaches had even been brought out for the night. Sig heard their stomping and snorting in protest at being brought out in weather like that. He smiled, knowing that once they started moving, they would warm up quickly and sleep better.

Jace drove them home along with two of the other dancers. One could not stop talking about the fun he’d had over the holiday shows. “Rowan, you must come back next year! This was fun and sexy! Promise you’ll come back.”

“If I’m still working as a dancer, I’d love to.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Rowan didn’t look up at Sig, but his hand holding Sig’s squeezed a little. “I’m getting, you know, a little old to be doing this much longer.”

“You’re not old at all! Please?”

Sig answered, “Even if he’s not traveling for this, it might be fun to return for a reunion show.”

Both dancers liked that.

Once the dancers were safely back home, Jace asked Sig and Rowan, “Where to? Your separate cabins…or…?”

“To mine,” Rowan answered. “I think we’d like to go to mine.”

Sig nodded when Rowan looked at him to assure him that was okay. “Yeah, Jace. Rowan’s. He needs to change out of the elf stuff.”

“Okay, gentlemen. It’ll be about ten minutes, or fifteen in this mess.”

“We’re fine,” Sig said from his place in the back seat, cuddled up with Rowan. He could stay like that for hours, but he’d rather be alone with the guy.

Rowan had his hand on Sig’s thigh. Laid there, unmoving, not up close to Sig’s dick, so it wasn’t some move for sex. It was just that he wanted to touch him. As sexy as the man could be, he was deeper than that. In the short, very short, time Sig had known him, he’d already seen that much.

The world was white, even the air outside the SUV. Brilliantly white, and the whiteness glowed. All around the vehicle, the earth was covered in snow, and it leveled out some of the lower mounds of earth until he thought of the plains to the east.

How beautiful it was to be in a car with Rowan, sitting close while the world was being covered in cold and lightness. Outside, the wind was blowing, snow flying into the windows of the SUV, competing with the quiet music playing through the speakers. Jace didn’t look distressed, driving through that snow. Rowan wasn’t shaking from the trip. Everything felt…soft.

When they arrived at Rowan’s cabin, Jace told them to get inside and get warm. That was unnecessary. Sig was warm and comfortable like he was going home with someone that he’d known and been with for years.

Rowan unlocked the door, and Sig pushed him gently to get in first. As they entered the cabin, Rowan turned around to wave to Jace to let him know they were in and okay. That showed he cared that Jace was waiting for them to get inside before he’d leave.

Little things. Sig had always loved considerate little things like that. So many forgot those bits of manners. Rowan didn’t. He was basically a star at the resort and could have acted that part, but he didn’t. He was kind and sweet, and the second the door was closed, he told him so. “You aren’t full of yourself.”

“Why would I be?”

“You may blow off being a star, but you are. People go insane over your dancing and…and you!”

Rowan’s head lowered, and he had a gritty voice as he asked, “Can you make us a fire? Jace warned me that sometimes, in weather like this, the heat acts up.”

“Sure. Why don’t you get changed into something comfortable and warm?”

As Rowan’s head slowly raised, Sig saw the shock. “Comfortable? For comfort, especially when it’s cold, I wear these really ugly flannel pajamas and an oversized robe.”

“Is that supposed to gross me out or something?”

“Well, it doesn’t?”

“I didn’t come here to fuck you, Rowan. That might come when we’re both ready. I just want to be with you. I’m not pushing anything.”

“Do you really have to make me cry again?” A kiss on Sig’s cheek was given, then he went to the bedroom to change, and Sig got started on the fire.

Before Rowan came out of the bedroom, Sig had the fire crackling and beginning to warm the cabin. He stood and turned to see Rowan coming out of the bedroom, not just in flannel pajamas, but a one-piece, footed pajama.

He blushed wildly, as red as his flannel, rushing to sit on the sofa. Once on it, he grabbed a throw pillow and held it tightly to his chest. “Told you they were ugly.”

“You look adorable.”

As he cheekily rolled his eyes, he giggled. Oh, what a sweet little prince he truly was. Sig went to the couch and sat close to him, then grabbed Rowan’s legs to place them over his lap, rubbing his feet through the pajamas.

“That feels good. I usually pay someone to massage me after a long week of shows.”

The presence of him, the shy smile, so unlike the confident man on the stage, Sig felt warm and good, like he hadn’t felt in so long. “Rowan, what is this?”

He wasn’t sure Rowan would know what he meant, but he didn’t hesitate. “I have no idea. I feel like…I feel like I fell for a pair of eyes that first night.”

“I guess I did have you at a disadvantage. Jace knew I didn’t like crowds, and I…would just feel more comfortable with the mask.”

“I can understand that. You’re as handsome as I imagined.”

Sig laughed at that. “I’m not handsome.”

“Yes, you are! You’re ruggedly good-looking, with beautiful eyes and wonderful lips, and I love a man with a beard. It’s so primal, so natural.”

Sig’s head could turn more if they kept talking like that. “Tell me about yourself, Rowan. Tell me where you live when you’re not on the road.”

“Just south of LA, in a beach house. It’s absolutely beautiful, the house, the beach, the sea, but I’m starting to hate it.”

Happy to hear that, and guilty about the happiness, Sig asked, “Oh?”

“It’s lonely. I loved that about it at first. I could sit for hours on the deck, watching the waves, drinking a glass of wine, and unwinding from the road. The peace it gave me was more than I ever could have dreamed. But now…my sanctuary feels like a place that is too far from the world.”

Astonished that Rowan felt the same as he did, Sig simply listened, his heart pulling madly in his chest.

“I used to dream of living at the beach. Now, well, the house is great, but…”

“I dreamed of having my own ranch. I love the place, I do, but it’s lonely.”

Snatching Sig’s hand into both of his own, Rowan whispered, “I have to tell you something before we get any further.”

The seriousness of his tone sent chills down Sig’s spine, despite the fire. “You can tell me anything, Rowan.”

“This? This could be a dealbreaker. This…is something I was never ashamed of until now.”