Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Runa

The walk was quiet for the most part. I never enjoyed small talk, and Nathan was too anxious to keep track of a full conversation. Without my magic, I was limited in ways that I could help him, but I still felt the urge. I doubted that would ever fully go away. I was raised to help people. It was all I ever wanted to do.

The sounds of the small town faded as we followed the road away from the crowds. I heard the faint whisper of water on the wind, and I could smell the salt in the air. I had never been this far south before, and being near the ocean was a first for me. I was curious about it, but not enough to get distracted from my mission.

As the clock ticked down to when I’d have to tell Nathan the truth of my visit, my stomach roiled more and more intensely, until I was worried I’d throw up from the stress. I had already thrown up twice that morning from the smells on the crowded bus. I wasn’t sure how much I had left in my stomach. I probably should’ve eaten something once I arrived, but Nathan’s anxiety kept my focus and I thought bringing him home where he was more comfortable was better to have a difficult conversation.

Drawing in a few deep breaths, I willed my stomach to settle. I had no magic to force it, but mindfulness and meditation helped sometimes.

Nathan turned down a long gravel driveway, leading to a house that looked a little neglected, the paint peeling and the grass overgrown. Pots of dried and dead flowers lined the front porch. My hands itched to tend to them, but I pushed the urge aside. I had no magic to save them. Most looked beyond saving, anyway.

The front door creaked as Nathan pulled it open, and when he gestured me inside, a strong odor of cannabis filled the air. I wrinkled my nose, but thankfully, my stomach didn’t protest the skunky smell. I just didn’t enjoy it.

“Boy? You back from your walk?” a voice called from inside.

“Yeah, Dad. I, uh… That friend I told you about, she’s here.”

An older man with graying brown hair and a thin build stepped out of the kitchen. I had to bite my tongue to smother a laugh because the man had zero situational awareness and was only in his boxers, his hair a little wild, like he’d just rolled out of bed.

Nathan made an irritated noise, rubbing his forehead roughly. “Dad. Pants.”

The older man looked down and back up, pursing his lips in distaste. “You gonna make your old man be uncomfortable in his own home?”

“While we have guests? Yes. Put on some damn pants.”

The man was obviously teasing, skin wrinkling around his eyes as he grinned at his son. He ducked back from where he’d come from, and Nathan let out an exasperated sigh.

“Sorry about him. His mom was a hippie, and he has been the same way since he was a kid. I swear, he knows how to act around people.”

“He’s teasing you,” I pointed out, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch when Nathan gestured to it. My limbs were still sore from sitting for so long on those buses.

“I know. He just likes to pick the most annoying times to do it.” Nathan sat in an armchair a bit farther away. If I was a sensitive person, I might be worried he was trying to avoid me, but I saw the move for what it was. The armchair put more space between him and the door and faced in that direction. It was a strategic move to shore up his defenses. Even in his own home, he was anxious.

Nathan’s father came out in jeans and a tie-dyed t-shirt, his feet bare. I hadn’t met him during their visit, hiding away in my cottage to avoid the world at large. He seemed to be Nathan’s opposite in many ways. Relaxed and easygoing, where Nathan was defensive and anxious. There were similarities in their features, the same ash brown hair and hazel eyes. But that was where the similarities ended. Nathan’s father was thin and reedy, and while Nathan wasn’t necessarily wide, he was built and thicker because of the muscle mass difference alone. Nathan’s father was also paler, he probably spent a lot of time indoors, while Nathan’s golden tan had lightened a little since I last saw him. Even the way they held themselves was different. Nathan’s stance was rigid and wary, while Nathan’s father didn’t have a care in the world, it seemed. He leaned against the wall, an easy smile on his face as he looked me over.

“So. You’re the one he’s been so anxious about.”

When I raised my eyebrow, he shrugged. “Boy’s been cleaning every damn day, thinkin’ you’d appear out of nowhere. I told ‘im you’d probably call first. Turns out he was right. Good job, boy.”

Nathan rolled his eyes, but there was a layer of affection in the way he looked at his father. They were obviously close, and it didn’t seem like the teasing bothered him much.

“Moving on. Runa, you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about? It has to be important if you traveled all the way here,” Nathan pointed out, an anxious tinge to his tone.

My stomach flipped at the reminder, and I fought the urge to fidget. Nathan’s dad must’ve seen the uneasy look on my face because he straightened and headed for the door. “I’m gonna go for a swim while the weather is nice. I’ll check back in a little while. Nate, you know where to find me.”

Nathan nodded once, but his gaze was locked on me. I could feel the worry in the air, even without my magic, and I hated upsetting him when he was so obviously struggling with his own demons. I almost regretted coming out here and dragging him into all of this. I didn’t have to burden him with this. I could do it on my own. I just… didn't want to. I had been alone for most of my life. Even when the shifters of the mountains invited me in, there was a wariness there that always made me feel separate. It got worse after the incident. The only person who treated me like I wasn’t some kind of threat was Nathan. We drank together, fell into bed, and for a few hours, I felt normal. I felt… wanted.

It was selfish of me to be here, to bring this to his attention.

The wind came in through the open windows, rustling my hair and reminding me of my purpose. Nathan didn’t have to do anything. This was my seedling to protect. But he deserved to know about it.

While I was contemplating my options, Nathan had moved closer. The couch dipped as he sat beside me, and his hand covered mine.

“Runa… What is it? Do you need a place to stay? I can help–”

“I’m pregnant.”

Nathan

My mind came to a screeching halt, and my whole body froze. Out of all the reasons she came, that one hadn’t even crossed my mind. I gaped at her, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. There was no teasing, no joke I didn’t understand. When she finally lifted her gaze to look at me, her expression was serious and I could see the vulnerability behind her stubborn chin lift.

“I understand if this is more than you can handle right now. I don’t want to put more pressure on you while you’re struggling. But I thought it was unfair to hide it. You were part of making it. You deserved to know.”

The front door opened and Dad walked in with a sheepish expression, putting his hands up in apology. “Sorry, sorry. Forgot my phone. I was gonna call Harper, see when–” He stopped, taking in my expression, and his brows snapped together. “Nate? What’s wrong? Why are you so pale?”

Words were impossible at that moment. I could only get out a strangled sound. Dad came closer, worry etched into his face, and Runa sighed.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t good timing for either of us. I think I’ll step outside. Give you a minute to sit with it.”

My tiger protested letting her walk away, but I couldn’t move to stop her. I stared at the spot where she had been sitting, my heart pounding so heavily, I could barely hear my dad speak.

“Nathan?”

“I-I-”

Dad set his hand on the back of my neck, drawing me close so I could hear his purr over my erratic heart rate. Normally, it worked. This time, I couldn’t breathe.

After a minute, Dad grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. “Come on, boy. Whatever it is, it can wait. You need a shift.”

That made me protest, and I shook my head, but Dad ignored me. I was afraid of what my tiger might do if I set him free right now. He didn’t have any issues with the news. He wanted to claim Runa and raise the cub together. But my animal was broken. I couldn’t trust him around a cub. I couldn’t trust him, period.

Pulling me outside, Dad dragged me through the backyard onto the private beach. Only residents of the town had access to the beach. The smell of salt filled my nose as I walked blindly ahead, following my dad’s lead to a cave that was hidden between jagged rocks. People didn’t come out here because it was too dangerous, but our family had been going to the caves for years. It was deep into the earth and led to a pool of seawater that was safe to let our animals swim in without risk of being seen.

“Let me go first. I don’t want your animal to panic and scatter before I can get my fur, alright?”

I nodded slowly, staring off into space. I kept hearing the same thing over and over again in my head. Pregnant. She was pregnant. I made up some bullshit about how we fell asleep before doing anything. I should’ve been smarter. I should’ve asked.

A wet nose nudged my hand and Dad’s tiger looked up at me expectantly, tipping his head toward the water.

“I’m afraid if I shift, I’ll go after her.”

He couldn’t answer me out loud in that form, but his answer was clear enough. He turned and moved, sitting directly in front of the exit. I wasn’t going anywhere unless I was willing to go through him. My tiger was broken, but we protected our family. I wouldn’t be able to make myself hurt him.

Resigned, I pulled off my clothes and let the tiger have my skin. I was right when I figured he’d immediately want to go after Runa, but with Dad blocking the way, he could only yowl in protest. Dad chuffed at him, bumping my head affectionately when I came close. He nudged me towards the water, unmoving from his spot protecting the exit while I went for a swim.