Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Nathan

My skin felt itchy with the need to shift. I could feel the eyes of the shifters watching me. I smelled them when I got close before. Most were dominant and dangerous, and every instinct in me screamed to get Runa out of here and away from them. I couldn’t do that, though. I promised I’d stay steady for her and watch her back. I needed to be out here. I couldn’t see danger coming if I was trapped inside with her.

Time moved slowly, and I wanted to turn around several times to go to Runa. I kept myself in one spot by the skin of my teeth, growling low to myself.

I heard Andrew approach before he spoke. I recognized his scent by now, since when I did circuits to check the territory, I smelled him in the area. He stopped a few feet away, politely clearing his throat and waiting for me to give him my attention.

“Runa asked me to keep you updated. There’s not much to report right now, they’re still in labor, but I thought you might want to know that nothing has changed. No news is good news, right?”

Depends on the situation, really. I didn’t say that out loud. I hadn’t given anyone permission to get close enough to get to know them since Runa granted our isolation period.

“Nathan.”

Pulling my focus off the forest, I frowned at him. “What?”

He gestured behind him. “My brother is asking to speak to you. He told me what happened when you first met. He wants to make amends for that.”

My gaze flicked to the group. Most weren’t paying attention to us. They were talking amongst themselves, sticking close to show their support without putting too much pressure on the birthing mothers. Only one was looking our way. I recognized him. The male who I’d been sure was going to take Runa away from me. His mate stood nearby, his hand on the wolf’s neck in a supportive gesture. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with them getting any closer to me. Not after what happened the first time.

Runa’s face flashed through my mind, full of patience and understanding. I knew what she’d want me to do. She said the wolf was her friend. She didn’t honor many people with that title. And I’d been keeping him at bay because I was overprotective.

Looking back at Andrew, I studied him for any hint of a lie. I couldn’t help but think he was setting me up for failure. Allowing the wolf to approach so he could chase me out of the territory. But Runa’s voice drifted across my mind again, reminding me to take a deep breath. I had to stay steady for her.

“Fine. But only him.” I wasn’t risking being ganged up on. If it turned into a fight, I wanted it to be fair.

Andrew nodded once in agreement. “Alright. I’ll send him over.”

I eyed him as he walked away, still looking for any sign that he was trying to trick me. Then I gave him my back. I needed to focus. Runa said to watch the forest. To protect the crew so she could do her job. I didn’t want her distracted and risk her using her magic. She still wasn’t better yet.

My shoulders went up as the wolf approached. I growled out a warning, but he was more stable than last time. He kept his distance, stopping along the edge of the forest and facing outward, watching the trees with me. He didn’t say anything at first, just stood guard with me. It wasn’t until my growl kicked up a notch that he finally spoke.

“I wasn’t trying to take her. I was just trying to protect her,” he grumbled, frowning at the trees.

My lip twitched against a scowl. “I know that. She told me.”

He went quiet again, and I could hear a low growl in his throat, but it didn’t sound threatening. It was almost like he was communicating. I just wasn’t sure with who.

He shook his head roughly. “Shut up.”

Confused, I whipped around to look at him. “What?”

“Not you,” he growled. “I–” He sighed heavily. “I’m broken. I’ve been working on it for a long time, but I don’t think I’ll ever be fixed. Most shifters can’t speak to their animals. I can. He’s annoying and really fucking loud sometimes.”

The snarl that came out of him made my hackles go up, but he rolled his eyes and still didn’t look at me.

“I’ve never heard of a shifter speaking with his animal. He understands you?” I asked.

He nodded. “He understands just fine. Whether or not he chooses to listen is another issue entirely. The only one he ever listens to is Corey.”

“Your mate?”

Another nod. Then his gaze shifted to finally lock eyes with me. “Runa’s your mate, right? That’s why you lost your shit when I came to check on her.”

A part of me wanted to keep that information to myself. If no one knew she was mine, they wouldn’t target her to get to me. But I also wanted to show everyone she was protected. It was frustrating and I could only growl in response.

Ethan’s hands curled into fists and his lip lifted, but he took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He was fighting as hard as I was to stay stable. For some reason, that helped me relax a little.

“You don’t smell broken,” I commented. “How did you fix it?”

He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, focusing on the forest again. “It wasn’t easy. I had to learn to accept what happened to me and get past it. I still struggle with it. But my mate helps. And my crew. I work hard to be good enough for them. They give me something to work for.”

My mind flicked to Runa and my cub. I wanted to get better for them. I was doing my best. But it didn’t feel like enough. I still couldn’t breathe right unless she was right next to me.

“Andrew said you two were alone a lot. Trying to get past things on your own.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “How’s that working out?”

I scowled. “Are you seriously mocking me?”

He snorted, shaking his head. “No. I’m not going to judge you for healing. But from one broken shifter to another, isolating isn’t going to help. I tried doing it by myself. I felt like I was going crazy if I was left alone with my thoughts for too long. It helped having people around me. Maybe not the whole group at once, and they knew sometimes I needed a break, but–” He shrugged. “You might want to consider letting people in.” He tipped his head toward the crew. “They can help. They helped me.”

He was trying to help, but the idea of letting more people near Runa put me on edge. I wanted to hide her away and keep her safe.

“And more people around would mean more protection for Runa. I’ve tried getting her to move closer to the compound, or closer to Blackridge, but she refuses. I don’t like her out there all alone and unprotected. She deserves some backup.”

I froze. I’d never considered it from that angle. I was so desperate to protect her that I felt like I was the only one capable of doing it. I kept her away from the world so I could keep her safe. Maybe it would be better accomplished if I wasn’t watching over her alone. Especially after the cub comes.

Still, the idea of letting people close bothered me and I fought down a wave of panic over letting anyone close. “I don’t… I don’t know if I can do that. I should, I’d want her protected if I couldn’t be the one to do it, but…”

“So why not one at a time?” he suggested, glancing at me again. “Once you two go back to your place, let one person at a time come to visit. You’ll be there to protect her, and maybe she’ll learn to warm up to the crews. After a while, you’ll know who you can trust with her. I trust my crew with Corey. I’m glad he’s protected if I’m working or if I got hurt or something. You deserve that too.”

My brows snapped together. “Why? You don’t even know me.”

He lifted a shoulder, glancing at me again. “Because I know what it’s like to feel broken. Everyone deserves a chance to heal.”

His words repeated in my head even after he walked away. Everyone deserves a chance to heal. During my time in the military, that kind of thinking was drummed out of me. They saw things in black and white. Dangerous shifters needed to be put down. There was no room for rehabilitation.

That wasn’t what I believed. Sure, there were some that were too far gone, but there had to be facilities where people could be healed. There was a prison for shifters. There had to be more. It bothered me that the unit I’d been a part of refused to acknowledge that people could be saved. I’d joined the military because I wanted to help. They should’ve helped.

How many could’ve gotten their lives back if someone had just taken the time to help? Ethan was a prime example that it could work. So why the hell didn’t they allow it?

A twig snapped and I whipped my head around, growling low. Someone was approaching. Still too far for the crew to notice, but I was trained for this. I could hear them coming. Were they coming for me? Or did they see Ethan as a threat. He wasn’t, he was better. Broken shifters could get better.

“Nathan? What’s wrong?”

Aiden stood not far behind me, keeping enough distance to not make my tiger feel threatened. I debated heading straight into the forest to seek out the threat, but that was what they wanted. If they were here for me, they’d try to isolate me. If I wanted to protect Runa, I couldn’t leave and put myself at risk like that.

Taking a few steps back, I lowered my voice so only Aiden could hear me. “I think they’re looking for me.”

“Who?” he demanded, eyes now locked on the forest. His pupils elongated and I felt his dominance dial up. He was the first person to believe me without question.

I took a deep breath. It was a long story, and not one I wanted to share. But Ethan was right. If I wanted to protect Runa, I needed more than just me. If my old unit came looking for me, she could get caught in the crossfire. I couldn’t let that happen. Even if I had to ask for help from the one person I trusted the least.