22. Mira

22

MIRA

T he wooden floor creaks beneath my knees as I sink down, pressing my forehead against the rough grain of the door. Karn's footsteps fade down the hall, each one driving a spike deeper into my chest. My fingers curl against the floorboards, nails scraping against splinters as I struggle to breathe through the tears.

I can't stay. Not when they're hunting for me. Not when they could hurt him, hurt the twins. I'm sure that Karn can handle himself, but I don't want to put him in that position.

Even the thought of leaving makes my chest cave in, the alternative—seeing Karn ever in trouble because of me—that would destroy me completely. And I know I can't face him and say that. I could barely handle it when Nova noticed my mood earlier.

"Stupid." I press my palm against my mouth, trying to muffle the sob. "So stupid to fall for him."

But I have. Gods help me, I've fallen for his quiet strength, his gentle hands, the way he pretends not to smile at my jokes. How he makes the twins laugh and doesn't mind being silly. The protective fury in his eyes when he saw my brand that first day.

And our first date. Our nights together. They've only pulled me in deeper and deeper, and I know that I love him. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. But now I wonder…does he love me, too? Or will he even miss me when I'm gone?

I swallow back that question, not wanting to know that answer. I don't think either way it will make it easier. So I need to calm down and get out of here before Karn comes back.

A part of me is surprised he hasn't, that he's not forcing me to talk. But he never has - something I always appreciated. But if he did…I'm not strong enough to resist if he asks me to stay.

I have to be. Have to protect him, even if it means tearing myself apart.

My hand presses against my chest, trying to hold the pieces together. "Please," I whisper, though I don't know who I'm begging. "Please let him understand. Let him forgive me."

The tears won't stop. They drip onto the floor, onto my hands, onto the life I desperately want but can't keep. I don't have time to sit here and mourn the only life I've ever wanted, though.

I push myself up from the floor, legs shaky. The room spins for a moment before settling, and I force myself to take slow, steady breaths. Crying won't help. Action will.

My movements are precise, economical - habits burned into me from years of service. The small leather pack I'd hidden under my bed slides out easily. I've spent the day tucking things away that I'll need, at least for the next three days.

I run through my mental checklist. Clothes, basic supplies, the few coins I've saved. I look over pictures the twins have drawn me, and I almost leave them behind. But I can't. Folded, they join the rest.

My door thankfully stays silent as I slip out. Karn's door is closed, and even though my body is begging me to go to him, my instinct - the one that has kept me alive, that has told me to never rely on anyone else - has me moving toward the stairs.

The workshop downstairs is dark and quiet, moonlight streaming through the high windows. Metal gleams on every surface - Karn's creations catching the light like fallen stars. My heart clenches at the familiar smell of smoke and steel.

A shelf of finished pieces catches my eye. I shouldn't. But I need funds to get far away, and these are worth more than anything else I own. My hand hovers over an intricate necklace before my eyes move to another piece on his workbench that seems to call to me - a bracelet etched with protective runes.

The metal is warm against my skin, almost alive. It pulses gently, like a heartbeat, and I recognize Karn's magic signature - that mix of strength and gentleness that's uniquely him. And…the twins? The bracelet feels like their magic too.

"I'm sorry," I breathe, slipping it into my pack along with two smaller pieces. "I'll find a way to repay you someday."

The guilt sits heavy in my stomach as I add a few more valuable items. But it's better than the alternative - better than seeing him hurt because of me. Better than watching my past destroy everything he's built here.

I pause by his workbench, running my fingers over the smooth wood. The twins' drawings are tacked to the wall above it, bright splashes of color against the dark stone. I force myself to turn away before the tears can start again.

I can't leave without a word, though. So I look for parchment and ink, my hands shaking as I hover the quill, ink splattering across the page. The words won't come.

How do I explain that leaving is the only way to keep them safe? That my past is catching up and I can't let it touch them?

Dear Karn, I write, then scratch it out. Too formal.

I try again. Karn. I-

The ink blots where my tears fall.

I crumple the paper, starting fresh. My fingers trace the slave brand on my wrist, the raised flesh a constant reminder of what I'm running from. What I can't let touch this family.

I have to go. Please don't look for me. You and the twins deserve better than- My throat closes up. The quill snaps in my grip.

"Damn it." I brush ink off my hands, smearing it across my dress. The green fabric - the first gift Karn ever gave me - now stained with black spots like my heart.

Another piece of parchment. Another attempt.

The twins need someone whole. Someone who won't bring danger to their door. I'm so sorry. I love-

The words blur as tears stream down my face. I can't write that. Can't make it real. Can't let him know how deep this goes, or he might try to follow.

In the end, all I manage is something simple.

Thank you for showing me what family could be. Keep them safe.

It's not enough. It's nowhere near enough. But it has to be.

I fold the note with trembling fingers, placing it on the workbench. My pack feels heavy on my shoulder as I slip through the shadows toward the door.

The eastern ports are three days' journey. If I can make it there, find passage on a ship... I try not to let the thought of all that space tear me apart as I pause, looking around the shop one last time.

Then I'm gone, slipping into the night like the ghost I need to become.