33. Ayla

33

AYLA

I lean over the crib, gently laying Piper down on her back. The soft yellow blanket with embroidered daisies swaddles her tiny form. Piper’s eyelids flutter closed as I hum a lullaby, the same one Mom used to sing to me when I was little… back before Kyle had ever entered our lives.

Suddenly, the door bursts open with a bang. Lila storms in, her face flushed and eyes flashing with anger. “You’re a liar, Ayla!” she accuses, jabbing a finger at me.

I spin around, frowning in confusion at her outburst. My heartbeat quickens. “What are you talking about? Keep your voice down, I just got Piper to sleep...”

Lila doesn’t lower her voice. She takes a step closer, her long dark hair swishing around her shoulders. “Don’t play dumb with me. I know you’ve been keeping secrets and lying to me.”

My mind races, trying to figure out what she could be referring to. I search her face but her expression is hard, inscrutable. A knot forms in my stomach.

“Lila, I honestly have no idea what you mean. Can we please discuss this calmly, outside? I don’t want to wake the baby.” I keep my voice even, though tension coils in my muscles.

Her eyes narrow. “Fine. But you’ve got some serious explaining to do.” She spins on her heel and stalks out of the nursery.

I glance back at Piper, relieved to see she’s still sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by the commotion. Sighing, I follow Lila out into the hallway, quietly closing the door behind me. My mind whirs with possibilities of what she could be so upset about. I steel myself for the coming confrontation, knowing she won’t make this easy.

Lila whirls to face me as soon as I step into the hallway, her eyes flashing. “I know about you and Teller. And Clay and Kip too. You’ve been dating all three of them!”

The accusation slams into me like a physical blow. I stare at her, momentarily speechless, my mouth opening and closing uselessly. How could she possibly know? I’ve been so careful to keep my relationships with the brothers private.

“I...I don’t know what to say,” I stammer finally, my cheeks flushing hot with embarrassment and shock. “How did you find out?”

Lila crosses her arms, a smug, knowing look on her face. “Teller told me everything. He spilled the whole sordid story.”

How had that topic even come up? I sigh. It’s not like I’d ask them to lie for me. I wouldn’t do that to them.

I take a shaky breath, trying to gather my scrambled thoughts. “Lila, I’m so sorry for not telling you. I wanted to, I really did, but I just...I didn’t know how. I was embarrassed and confused and...”

“Save it,” she snaps, cutting me off mid-apology. “I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

Her words sting, but I know I deserve them. I should have been honest with her from the beginning. We apologized for past mistakes…we’re supposed to be honest with one another. And I started our newfound relationship with another lie. She deserved the truth.

“You’re right,” I say quietly, forcing myself to meet her accusing stare. “I should have told you. I was just...afraid of what you’d think of me. Of what everyone would think.”

Lila scoffs and shakes her head. “Well, now I know. And let me tell you, it’s not a pretty picture.”

I flinch at the harsh condemnation in her tone. Shame curdles in my gut, mixing with the hurt and confusion swirling inside me. I wrap my arms around myself, wishing I could disappear, wishing none of this was happening.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Lila spits, her eyes flashing with a mixture of disbelief and disgust. “Dating three men at once? What would Mom say if she knew? She’d be so ashamed of you, Ayla. You’re such a hypocrite for judging her decisions and you can’t make the right ones on your own.”

Her words cut deep, each one a sharp blade slicing into my heart. I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes, but I blink them back, refusing to let her see how much she’s hurting me.

“What were you even doing talking to Teller in the first place?” I demand, my voice shaking with a volatile cocktail of emotions - confusion, frustration, and a rising tide of anger.

Lila’s lips curve into a smug smirk, and she tosses her hair over her shoulder with an air of superiority. “I sensed something was off with you, so I decided to do a little investigating. And boy, did I hit the jackpot.”

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, waving it in front of my face like a trophy. My stomach churns with dread as I wonder what damning evidence she’s managed to uncover.

“Do you have any idea how many women those three have shared?” she asks, her voice dripping with disdain.

My hands tremble as I reach for the paper, but Lila snatches it away, holding it just out of my grasp. “I’m the first,” I insist, my voice quivering with a blend of desperation and defiance. “I’m special to them. They wouldn’t lie to me.”

Lila’s face contorts into a sneer, her eyes glinting with a perverse satisfaction. “Oh, you’re special all right,” she scoffs, her words dripping with sarcasm. “So special that they can’t even keep track of who fathered their child.”

She thrusts the paper at me, and I fumble to unfold it, my fingers clumsy with dread. As I scan the contents, the words blur before my eyes, but one line stands out with sickening clarity: “Paternity inconclusive. One of the three men tested did match the sample.”

The room spins around me, and I grab the wall to steady myself. I had always assumed Clay was the father. Piper looked more closely to him than the others. But now, that certainty is ripped away, leaving me adrift in a sea of doubts and betrayal.

“This can’t be right,” I whisper, my voice barely audible over the roaring in my ears. “There must be some mistake.”

Lila’s laughter is sharp and cutting, slicing through my feeble defenses. “Face it, Ayla. You’re just another notch on their bedpost, another conquest to be shared and discarded. Did you really think you were anything more to them?”

Her words are like poison, seeping into my veins and spreading a sickening realization through my body. The foundation of my world, the love and trust I thought we had built, crumbles beneath my feet, leaving me teetering on the brink of an abyss. Every word they’ve told me, every touch they’ve caressed me with, every small little act they’ve done for me, making me feel like I was the only one, and they lied to me. Why did I believe them so easily? God, maybe I really was worse than Mom.

I press a hand to my chest, feeling the erratic thud of my heart beneath my palm. The air feels thick and heavy, and I struggle to draw a breath, as if the weight of this revelation is crushing me from the inside out.

Lila watches me with a mixture of pity and triumph, her lips curled in a cruel smile. “Poor little Ayla,” she coos, her voice dripping with false sympathy. “Always so naive, so willing to believe the best in people. When will you learn that the world is a cruel place, and the only person you can trust is yourself?”

I want to argue, to defend the men I love, but the words stick in my throat, choked by the bitter taste of betrayal. How can I trust anything they’ve said, when the evidence of their deceit is staring me in the face?

My mind reels, grasping for some shred of hope, some explanation that could make this all go away. But the cold, hard truth is undeniable, etched in the black and white of the medical records that tremble in my hand. They lied. And I never thought for one second to question them.

The sound of hurried footsteps jolts me from my anguished reverie. I look up, my vision blurred by tears, to see Clay standing in the doorway, his brow furrowed with concern.

“What’s going on here?” he demands, his gaze darting between Lila and me. “I could hear you shouting from outside.”

I struggle to right my self as I push myself off the wall, snatching up the crumpled medical records from the floor. My hand shakes as I thrust the paper towards him, my voice trembling with a volatile mix of anger and hurt.

“What is this, Clay? Lila says you’ve been sharing women before me. That one of you is Piper’s father but you don’t even know which one!”

Clay’s eyes widen as he scans the document, his face paling. He looks up at me, his expression a battleground of guilt and desperation.

“Ayla, I...” He falters, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not what you think.”

“Really?” I laugh bitterly, the sound harsh and grating to my own ears. “Because I think it’s pretty damn clear. You lied to me, Clay. You all did. You said I was special, that I was the only one...”

My voice breaks, the words choking in my throat. I swallow hard, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. All the times I told myself after hearing my mother begging for Kyle’s attention that I would never be like that and here I am doing the same thing. Begging for the truth when it’s so clear.

Clay takes a step towards me, his hands held out in a placating gesture. “You are special, Ayla. What we have with you... it’s different. Those other women, they didn’t mean anything.”

His admission hits me like a physical blow, knocking the air from my lungs. I stare at him, my mind reeling as I try to process his words.

He’s admitting it. They really did share other women before me. Everything they told me was a lie.

The betrayal cuts deep, carving out a hollowness inside me that aches with every breath. I wrap my arms around myself, as if I can somehow hold together the shattered pieces of my heart.

“How could you?” I whisper, my voice raw with pain. “How could you let me believe I was the only one, when all along you were just using me like all the others?”

Clay shakes his head vehemently, his eyes pleading. “No, Ayla, it’s not like that. What we have with you is real. Those other women... they were just physical. But with you, it’s so much more.”

I want to believe him, want to cling to the desperate sincerity in his voice. But the trust between us lies in ruins, shattered by the weight of his deception. And I don’t know how to fix it.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” I murmur, turning away from him. “I thought I knew you, Clay. I thought I knew all of you. But now... now I don’t know anything at all.”

Clay’s accusation cuts through the tension like a knife, as he turns his attention to Lila. “You took those records from Teller’s office, didn’t you?” he demands, his eyes narrowing as he stares down Lila.

Lila scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a defiant flick. “I was just looking out for Ayla,” she retorts, her voice dripping with false sincerity. “Someone had to, since clearly you guys can’t be trusted.”

A harsh laugh erupts from Clay’s throat, the sound grating against my already frayed nerves. “That’s rich, coming from you,” he sneers. “Didn’t you try to sleep with Teller yourself? And then threw a fit when he turned you down?”

My head snaps up, my gaze darting between Clay and Lila as the pieces start to fall into place. That explains how she got the paper, going to Teller and throwing herself at him. How else would she be able to get such an important piece of paper? She hadn’t been looking out for me…she’d been trying to get laid.

Lila’s face flushes, but she lifts her chin, trying to maintain her composure. “That’s not... it wasn’t like that,” she stammers, but the lie is evident in the way her eyes skitter away from mine. Was she really going to betray me again?

Disbelief and anger war within me, a searing mix that threatens to consume me whole. How could she?

“Don’t even try to deny it,” I bite out, my voice trembling with barely contained fury. “You slept with my ex, remember? And then you had the nerve to go after another guy you, yourself, said you thought I had something going on with.”

Lila flinches as if I’d struck her, but I barrel on, the words spilling out of me in a torrent I can’t control. “And now you’re trying to act like you’re worried about me? Like you’re some kind of saint looking out for my best interests?”

I shake my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. “You’re a liar, Lila. A hypocrite. And I’m done listening to anything you have to say.”

The room falls silent, the weight of my words hanging heavy in the air. Lila opens her mouth, then closes it again, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. But I can’t find it in myself to feel sympathy, not when the sting of her betrayal is still so fresh.

I trusted her. I trusted all of them.

And look where it got me. Alone. Looking like a fool.

With a deep breath, I turn towards the front door, my steps heavy as I cross the room. I can feel Lila’s eyes boring into my back, but I refuse to look at her, refuse to acknowledge the pleading expression I know I’ll find on her face.

“Get out,” I say, my voice low and dangerous as I yank open the door. “Get out of my house, and don’t come back.”

Lila hesitates for a moment, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. But then she seems to deflate, her shoulders slumping as she moves towards the door.

I watch as she steps over the threshold, my heart pounding in my ears. And then, with a final burst of anger, I slam the door in her face, the sound echoing through the house like a gunshot.

For a moment, I just stand there, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath. How was it just a few minutes ago I was happy and now… now I don’t know how to feel?

But then I hear footsteps behind me, and I turn to see Clay standing there, his eyes filled with concern. “Ayla,” he says softly, taking a step towards me. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

I shake my head, backing away from him as if he’s a wild animal. “Don’t,” I say, my voice cracking. “Don’t try to make this better. You lied to me, Clay. You all did.”

Clay’s face falls, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I know,” he says quietly. “And I’m sorry. But please, let me explain...”

But I’m not in the mood for explanations, not when my heart is shattered into a million pieces. “Leave me alone,” I snap, turning away from him. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

And with that, I stalk towards my room, slamming the door behind me and locking it with a definitive click. I lean against the door, my eyes squeezing shut as tears begin to stream down my face.

How could they do this to me?

I trusted them with everything, and they just threw it all away.

I slide down the door until I’m sitting on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest as I let the tears fall. The silence of the room presses in on me, suffocating me with its weight.

What am I supposed to do next?