Chapter 20

Erhan

The thin blue light of dawn made Erhan stir. For a moment, he forgot where he was. The bed felt unfamiliar, the window was in the wrong place, and the ceiling was darker than the roof of Calla’s hut. As he blinked away the sleep from his eyes, he noticed the walls were the wrong color, the dark fabrics draped around him momentarily unfamiliar.

But as the bungalow started to take shape around him, memories of the previous night came suddenly rushing back. The taste of Kleena’s skin, the sound of her moans, the look in her eyes when she…

The thought of it was suddenly overwhelming, and when he turned his head, he saw just what he had hoped and feared to see—Kleena sleeping soundly beside him, the blankets half-draped across her naked form.

“ Feck ,” he whispered involuntarily.

Kleena’s eyelids fluttered ever so slightly at the sound, and Erhan’s heart pounded. For a moment he was afraid the sound of his racing pulse was louder even than that of his accidental cursing. He was certain its thunderous rhythm would wake her and then…

And then what? What would happen once they saw each other in the light of day? When their lustful, passionate night together was made to stand trial?

Erhan stared, waiting for that trial to commence, but it took only a second for Kleena to settle again, easing into an easy sleep. Erhan felt a flash of relief, followed by envy. No way would he be falling back to sleep now.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, and now that he was fully awake, he felt as if every sense was heightened. His eyes took in every curve and freckle of her face—a face he could finally admit to himself he found intensely beautiful. His ears heard the soft rhythm of her breathing, like a melody he could get lost in.

Most of all, though, his already keen sense of smell had been brought to new heights. He breathed in the scent of her skin—a smell that he had been trying to resist since the moment he met her. It was intoxicatingly sweet and musky. The slight smell of her sweat mingled with something that reminded him of flowers. And then there was her sex…

He had drunk in that scent last night, savored her wetness and her heat. And now, in the aftermath of their lovemaking, her smell was mingled with his into an irresistible perfume. The scent of cum and sex and reckless abandon made his cocks throb again with desire.

The feeling almost threatened to overtake him entirely, but something about the stark light of day held him back. The brief thought crossed his mind that the events of last night may have been just that—confined to last night.

Lying still, he let his mind touch the memories again. Images of Kleena’s naked body lying open to him, the sound of her voice as she said his name, and the sudden passion that had passed between them all flickered through his thoughts, sending a thrill through him. His tail twitched at the end of the bed in response, and almost without his permission, it curled upward, snaking its way toward Kleena’s sleeping form.

He could feel the heat of her, even before he touched her, his scales rippling at the promise of her soft, warm skin. The closer he got, though, the faster his heart raced because something else was lying beneath these blissful memories and throbbing temptation.

Erhan could only describe it as dread.

His tail stopped, midair, hovering just inches from Kleena’s naked waist. He had never been this close to anyone before, which was by design. Over the course of his life, the thought of gaining someone’s affection was far outweighed by the fear of losing them. Of causing them harm the way he had lost his mother, though, “lost” wasn’t the right word.

Steeling himself, he admitted the truth—the way he had killed her.

A surge of sudden panic rose up in Erhan, and in an instant, his tail was back at the end of the bed without ever having touched his sleeping lover.

Lover. Is that what she is?

The term both thrilled and sickened him, but the dread won out in the end. He remembered the taunts, the jeers, the looks of disgust, and hatred that had been cast upon him ever since he was a child. Ever since his hatching, in fact. Before he’d even known what it meant, he’d been labeled as a “mother-killer.”

The wound ran much deeper than this fleeting intimacy with a human woman.

With a painful glance toward Kleena, Erhan slowly and quietly slipped from the bed. Though his mind told him he had to leave, his body remained reluctant. Even as he glided onto the floor, his tail reached out behind him, as if hoping for one last brush of her skin.

Once again, though, Erhan willed his tail to resist, and when it finally joined him, it was without the warmth of Kleena’s touch.

His heart ached at the act, and he turned back to see what he was leaving behind.

Kleena’s pale skin looked almost ethereal in the early dawn light, as if imbued with a heavenly glow. Her curves, rising up from beneath the covers, tantalized him. Her dark eyelashes fluttered softly as she slept while her full lips, softly parted, brought back memories of their fervent kisses from the night before.

Her mess of curly brown hair spread across the pillow, and Erhan was suddenly struck by the overwhelming urge to run his fingers through it, to feel it caressing his scales.

His heart ached at the sight of her, at the knowledge that he had allowed her to infiltrate his defenses so easily.

But how? What about this woman had caused his walls to crumble?

Erhan let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head slightly as he kept his eyes on Kleena. There was something real between them, and it absolutely terrified him. Which was why he had to leave.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. What was really a gentle utterance sounded loud in the silence of the bungalow.

Half of him hoped his words would wake her, that she would look at him with those warm hazel eyes and beg him to come back to bed. He knew that if she did, he would no longer be able to resist the pull between them. He would fall back by her side and be lost, utterly and irrevocably.

But the other half of him dreaded the thought.

He waited, holding his breath and gazing intently at Kleena, his eyes searching for any signs of wakefulness. But the seconds passed and her breathing remained steady, her eyes closed but for the occasional flutter that signaled the flash of a dream.

Finally, Erhan let out his breath, not knowing if he was relieved or disappointed. It was a strange mix of emotions—one he’d never had to endure. Among other things, it made him deeply uncomfortable.

He knew he needed to leave, and with great effort, he forced himself to slither toward the bungalow’s door. As his hand grasped the handle, he hoped he wouldn’t come to regret his decision.

Outside, the village was still sleeping, evidence of the fertility celebration still strewn across the village square. Erhan’s path left a snaking trail in the carpet of flower petals, revealing only dusty cobblestones beneath.

He tried not to look back at the bungalow, and he was almost out of its sight when he suddenly turned back. He felt a pang of deep longing and knew, undoubtedly, that he was not the same Niri he once was. Kleena had changed him, had broken through the armor he’d spent a lifetime strengthening.

But that was not the plan. That had never been the plan.

As much as he wanted to glide back toward the bungalow, throw open the door, and spend the day making love to that beautiful human woman, the risks were just too great.

He was a soldier, a prince. He knew better.

Over the rawness of his aching heart, Erhan pulled close the all-too-familiar armor.

“There’s no way,” he muttered, setting his brow and frowning slightly.

His eyes remained fixed on the bungalow’s closed door until he felt his resolve harden again. Finally, he turned away, knowing the door would remain closed from now on.

Forever.