Chapter 12

Cian

“I t’s all right, Ash,” Bas said as he helped my sister over the broken plates in the entryway. “Just keep your shoes on, yeah? Don’t want you gettin’ cut.”

“Doubt I’d even feel it at this point,” she replied softly, looking around her apartment in defeat.

I’d stopped by to pick up her car and some clothes a couple days before and I’d seen the mess, but with everything going on, I hadn’t had a chance to clean it before we brought Aisling over to pack.

Someone, and we all knew who, had broken into her place and ransacked it. If their goal had been to inflict maximum damage, they’d succeeded. Anything that could be broken, was. Anything that could be torn, was. Anything that had been on the walls was smashed on the floor. The couch was torn apart. Stuffing was ripped out of the pillows. Food and cleaning supplies and toiletries, and even the water from a vase on the counter, was poured out all over the floor.

“I’m not sure there’s anything to pack,” Aisling said as she made her way slowly toward her bedroom. “It’s all ruined.”

“She’s not wrong,” Bas ground out, looking around at the mess. “This is fuckin’ excessive.”

“And it took some time,” I added. “How long was that fuckwad in here? He’s throwin’ shit at the walls and breakin’ every dish and no one heard him? What the fuck?”

“People don’t wanna get involved,” Bas replied, moving a kitchen stool against the wall. One of the legs was busted.

I followed Aisling into her bedroom and found her on the slashed-up mattress staring into the closet.

“You find anything salvageable?” I asked gently.

Aisling laughed humorlessly. “Maybe this?” she said, her voice breaking as she lifted the Afghan on her lap. I recognized it instantly because all of us kids had one. Our mom had crocheted one for each of us when we were born. It was one of the only good things we had left of her. Mine was blue and gray—Aisling’s was pink and yellow.

Hers had been cut into three pieces, the edges already fraying.

“Aw, shit, Ash,” I murmured.

“It’s fine.” She sniffled. “It’s—he didn’t take it, right? I still have it. That’s something. I can just put it away. Maybe in one of those picture boxes or something so it doesn’t unravel anymore.”

“You see anything else?”

“There’s a couple of boxes under the bed,” she said, standing up. “It’s—you’ll have to pull up the mattress.”

Reaching out, I flipped the mattress up onto its side. Beneath it was what looked like a trap door built into the bedframe.

“It’s why I chose this bed,” Aisling said, setting the blanket down gently on an overturned nightstand. She leaned across the bed carefully and flipped up the trapdoor. Inside were two small bins of stuff. “I figured if someone ever broke in, they wouldn’t think to take the entire mattress off the bed. Unless, of course, they had the same one and knew what it was hiding. Then I’d be fucked.”

“Smart.”

She pulled the bins out and opened each of them. In one was a tightly wrapped roll of bills.

I whistled quietly.

“Tips,” she said nonchalantly. “I was saving up to go to Europe. If I kept it in here, I knew I wouldn’t spend it.”

She carefully sorted through the bins, making sure everything was where she’d left it, closed them, and set them down next to her blanket.

“The bathroom is a nightmare,” she said. “Oh, you can put the mattress back.”

I heaved it back into place.

“As you can see,” she murmured. “Clothes are ruined.”

The dresser was torn apart and ripped up clothes covered the floor. Some of them were wet. I didn’t want to know why.

I wasn’t sure what to say. Either Julian Kitz or whoever he’d sent to do his dirty work had been thorough. I’d known it before I brought Aisling back to her apartment, but I’d wanted to give her the chance to go through the stuff herself.

“We can go,” she announced, bending over carefully to grab her bins and blanket. “I’ve got what I need.”

“I’ll carry those.”

“No thanks.” She crushed them against her chest. “I’ve got them.”

When we got back to the main living area, Bas had already cleaned up a little, and there were five garbage bags lined up along the wall.

“Thanks,” Aisling said as she noticed them. She glanced around hopelessly. “How am I supposed to clean all this up? I’m never getting my deposit back.”

“Saoirse hired a cleaner,” I told her, grinding my teeth together. “They’ll clear it all out and hand over the keys to your property manager.”

“Oh,” Aisling mumbled. “Cool, thanks.”

We didn’t bother locking the door on our way out. If someone wanted to steal empty bottles of shampoo and random pieces of sliced-up clothing, they were welcome to it.

We’d left Aunt Ashley, Aoife, and Saoirse with Gray back at the house. Richie’s family had finally gotten back from their trip and Aisling hadn’t wanted to be there when they showed up. I didn’t blame her. She was having a hard enough time without Richie’s stick-up-their-ass parents gawking at her.

I didn’t want to watch Aoife handing them the urn of Richie’s “ashes.” The whole thing was so incredibly fucked.

Things were getting settled pretty quickly. Aoife and Sean were mostly packed up, Aisling’s apartment would be cleaned and turned over after we were gone, and Ronan had started looking into transferring closer to us in Oregon—it would take him a while longer before he could move.

There was one thing left to do, and I was both dreading it and looking forward to it.

The house was quiet when we got back and Bas walked Aisling inside. A minute later, Gray came out, and we climbed on our bikes.

“Let me do the talking,” Gray ordered as we strode toward a restaurant off the interstate. “Keep your cool, or I swear to Christ—”

“Got it,” I replied.

I didn’t know the man we were meeting, but I still could’ve picked him out of a crowd. He was older, with salt-and-pepper hair and a thousand-dollar suit. He stuck out like a sore thumb.

“Billy,” Gray greeted, sliding into the booth across from the man.

“White,” the man replied.

I just barely stopped myself from reacting. I knew Gray’s last name was White, but I so rarely heard it. We’d given him shit years ago because who named their kid Gray White? We’d only mentioned it once because Gray had lost his mind. His dead mother had picked the name, and it was Grayson, assholes . Leo had shortened it to Gray, which stuck.

“Seems we have a bit of a situation,” Gray said flatly.

“Well, I wouldn’t say—”

“Put your dog on a leash, Billy,” Gray cut him off. “He gets off, and who knows what happens? Could get hit by a car, runnin’ free like that.”

“Kitz is an important part of my organization.”

My hands curled into fists under the table and my teeth ground together, but I didn’t say anything.

“Kitz is a liability, and you know it,” Gray replied.

“Well, agree to disagree.”

“Do I need to take care of this for you?” Gray asked softly.

Billy looked away first. “No, you do not,” he replied stiffly.

“Put him on a fuckin’ leash, Billy.”

“Consider it done.”

“He doesn’t come near a single person in the Kelly family.”

“I thought the dead man was Lewis?” Billy asked dismissively.

It took every bit of willpower I had to keep my seat.

“The woman he kidnapped is a Kelly,” Gray snapped.

“Fine,” Billy said, waving his hand like he was brushing something off the table. “The Kelly family is off-limits.”

“Every single one of them.”

“Every single one,” Billy agreed.

“They’re under our protection, Billy,” Gray said softly. “If he gets anywhere near them, he’s a dead man. My boy Wanker here will take care of that.”

Billy looked at me. I smiled.

“But if that happens—” Gray tapped the table softly with his knuckles to bring the man’s attention back to him. “You’re a dead man, too, Billy.”

“Understood,” Billy replied stiffly.

“That’s good,” Gray said, his expression changing completely. He stretched his arms above his head like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Glad we had this talk.”

After leaving a twenty on the table for the waitress’s inconvenience, I followed Gray back out of the restaurant. I could feel the weight of Billy’s eyes on us until we’d rounded the building.

“You think he’ll take care of it?” I asked as we reached our bikes.

“I think he’s a pussy,” Gray said grimly. “I’m just hopin’ that Kitz doesn’t realize it.”

“Is that the head guy? Smith?”

Gray let out a rough chuckle. “Nah, man. Billy’s just a cog in the wheel—a more important cog than Kitz, his boss, actually—but still just a cog.”

“Great.”

I kept my eyes open as we rode back to the house but my mind wandered. Myla was probably still on the road home. I wondered how pissed she was. I hadn’t exactly been nice about making her leave, but I wasn’t sure how else to make her go. The meeting with Billy had already been set up, and we had no idea how Kitz would react when we sent the warning. I didn’t want Myla anywhere near us when he found out.

It was hard enough keeping my family safe. Aoife and Aisling understood what exactly we were dealing with, but the others had no clue. Ronan insisted on going back to his apartment on his own. Saoirse kept walking out to Aunt Ashley’s RV without telling anyone where she was going. Sean was a two-year-old menace who was used to having the run of the house, which meant that we’d have twenty-second panic attacks, afraid that he’d gone into the backyard alone or something when he’d just run up to his bedroom to get a stuffed animal.

I was running on empty. There was no other way to put it. I was pushing through, and I’d keep pushing through until they were safe at the property, but Jesus, I was worn thin. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into Myla’s bed and sleep for a week. I never slept as good as when she was beside me.

“Good call sendin’ Myla back with Heather,” Gray said after we’d parked.

I glanced at him, wondering how he’d known I was thinking about her.

“Don’t got a good feelin’,” Gray said, pausing on the front porch.

“Why?”

“Not sure,” he mused. “Learned the hard way not to ignore it, though.”

“What do you want to do?” I asked, looking out at the neighborhood. There wasn’t anything out of place, no strange cars parked along the curbs, no strangers strolling down the sidewalks.

“Think we should head out in the mornin’,” Gray replied. “I’ll feel better on familiar ground. Can you make that happen?”

“I’ll tie their asses up if I need to.”

“Your brother still stayin behind?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t like it.”

“I don’t either. He’s a grown man. Not much I can do about it.”

“He knows what we’re dealin’ with?”

“He knows enough.”

Gray let out a long breath. “All right. His choice.”

When we went inside, we were met with chaos. There were boxes everywhere.

“Bas said we couldn’t carry these to the RV,” Saoirse bitched, her hands on her hips. “So we’ve been leaving them here. You can carry them out.”

“Jesus, it’s an RV, not a moving truck.”

“They’ll fit,” Saoirse snapped. “Aoife also has room in her trunk, and so does Aisling.”

We spent the rest of the day getting shit ready to go. Ronan came for dinner—the last we’d have as a family for a while. Aoife moved around the house like a ghost. She was fully present for Sean, making sure that he was her top priority every moment, but otherwise she was off in her own head.

When I finally lay down on the couch that night, I pulled out my phone and called Myla. I didn’t like how we’d left it. Leaving shit half-finished had seemed to become a habit for us. The phone rang and rang, and I glanced at the clock, cursing when I saw how late it was. I was just about to hang up when she answered.

“Hello?”

“I was a dick,” I said immediately. “And I’m just now realizing how late it is, which makes me more of a dick. Did I wake you?”

“Nope, just got done watching a movie.”

“With who?” I rolled over and stuffed a pillow under my head, trying to imagine her curled up in front of the TV. It was the first time ever that I’d been home and wanted to be somewhere else.

“Who do you think?” she asked.

“Tell the girls I said hello.”

“Cian says hello,” Myla called.

“Fuck off, Cian,” Frankie yelled.

“Can’t say they’re not loyal,” I mused. Any time Myla and I argued, Frankie’s reaction was as predictable as the sunrise. The only thing that regularly surprised me was the fact that after she was done ripping me a new one, she went back to regular programming. Like showing up to support my family right after Myla and I had got into it a few days before.

“What’s up?” Myla asked tentatively. “Did you just call to tell me you’re a dick?”

“Pretty much.”

“Cool.”

“You accept my apology?” I asked, closing my eyes.

“I didn’t hear one.”

“I’m sorry for bein’ a dick.”

“You’re forgiven.”

“Easy as that?” I murmured.

“I was being pushy,” Myla replied. “I get it. It was time for me to go.”

“That’s not—you weren’t.” How the fuck did the guys with old ladies do it? How did you explain shit without actually explaining it?

“I was,” she argued. “It’s cool. I get that you guys needed some time to yourselves. Just took a minute for that to sink in.”

“That’s not—” I needed to just tell her what was going on or at least let her in on enough so she understood why she couldn’t stay behind with me. “Let’s talk when I get back, yeah? I think we’re headed out tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.”

“You didn’t overstay your welcome, Myla,” I said, hating that I’d made it seem that way. I couldn’t get shit right with her. “Christ. You know I’d rather you were with me.”

“Sure.” The tone in her voice made my stomach clench with nerves.

“Call you when I’m back?” I asked.

“Yeah, drive safe tomorrow.”

“Always do.”

“Okay, bye.”

She hung up.

“Fuck,” I whispered, dropping the phone on my chest. I needed to figure shit out or she was going to completely write me off.

We left for Oregon the next morning, and the ride was surprisingly uneventful. Following behind Aunt Ashley’s RV and Aisling and Aoife’s cars in the rain was pretty fucking miserable, though, and I was happy as fuck when we finally turned onto Aunt Ashley’s long driveway and slowly made our way to the property.

The house wasn’t anything spectacular with only two bedrooms, but it was well maintained, and the decks were fucking awesome. There was a fenced area out back for animals, a small outbuilding for them to sleep in at night, and a large garage with a carport connected. Aunt Ashley backed the RV into the carport like a pro before we’d even made it up the driveway.

I stared at it all.

I was supposed to buy it. That was the plan. I was supposed to be moving into that house in just a few days.

I watched as my sisters piled out of their cars and Aoife helped Sean out of the back seat. He went running into the grass, his arms above his head as he yelled like a maniac. Fearless.

He hadn’t realized yet that his dad wasn’t coming back.

When our dad died, Aisling had only been a little older than Sean was. I remembered her curled into a ball on Aoife’s lap. She might not have understood, but she’d known something was very wrong. Sean didn’t have that knowledge.

“Seanie,” Saoirse called teasingly, running after him. “Halt! You’ll get lost in the tall grass and we’ll never find you! The wolves will have to raise you!”

That was the difference. Seanie had us. We made it okay for him.

When we were kids, we’d only had Aunt Ashley, and our mom had sent her away.

“I’m gonna head home,” Gray announced, walking over to me. “You’re good here. I’ll make sure there’s someone up at the road for the next few days, just to keep an eye on things.”

“I appreciate it,” I replied, reaching out to shake his hand. Gray had always been a bit standoffish, and I doubted we’d ever make friendship bracelets, but over the past week he’d come through in a big way. I owed him.

“No problem, man,” he said with a nod. “Family.”

The women and Sean made their way into the house, their hands full of random bags, and Bas met me at Aoife’s trunk.

“Hey, man, I just realized,” he said with a grimace, jerking his chin toward the house. “Supposed to be movin’ in this weekend.”

“Might be a little crowded,” I replied, popping her trunk.

“Blows.”

“It’s no big deal,” I replied. It wasn’t worth thinking about. Shit happened. I’d have another chance to buy a house. It might take a while, but it would happen. It wasn’t like I hated living with Titus and Noel.

“Still, the parties we coulda had out here,” Bas said wistfully as we carried the boxes toward the house.

“Ask Aoife,” I replied. “I’m sure she’d throw you a party.”

Bas scoffed.

“Who’s having a party?” Aunt Ashley asked, opening the door for us.

“Bas,” I said, moving past her. “He wants to get drunk and pass out in your field.”

“Aw, Sebastian,” Aunt Ashley crooned, a small smile on her face. “Didn’t you do that in high school, honey?”

“Never too old to pass out in a random field, Auntie,” he replied, making her giggle.

I brought the box over to the wall in the living room and set it down.

“Cian,” Aoife called.

When I turned, her shoulders were slumped and her eyes were glossy with tears.

“What?” I looked around for whatever could have set her off.

“It’s your house,” she said, lifting her arms and dropping them to her sides. “It’s supposed to be your house.”

I scoffed.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, wincing. “Fuck.”

“It’s fine,” I replied, walking toward her. “If it’s a choice between you and Seanie living closer or having to live with Saoirse again? Please. No question.”

“Oh whatever,” Saoirse called from the hallway.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Aisling asked, her head inside the fridge.

“Exactly,” I said, pulling Aoife in for a hug. “I get you, Aisling, and Sean. Good trade.”

“We won’t be here forever,” Aoife mumbled against my chest. “I swear, you’ll have the house back.”

“I’m not worried about it.” I pulled away as Bas stepped back outside. “I am a little worried about where everyone’s gonna sleep, though.”

“Couch,” Aisling said instantly.

“Guest bed,” Saoirse yelled.

“You and Sean can sleep in the main bedroom,” Aunt Ashley told Aisling as she followed Bas outside. “I’m happy in the camper!”

“Well, that worked out,” I said easily.

It was late by the time we got all the boxes inside. Bas and Saoirse ran to town to pick up some Chinese food, and we crammed around Aunt Ashley’s table and stuffed ourselves. Sean kept up a running commentary of everything he’d found in the house, from tampons under the guest bathroom sink to a small glass jar filled with random bits and bobs Aunt Ashley had found while traveling.

It was…nice. After the shit we’d just slogged through, it was a welcome moment of peace in the center of the chaos. Even dinner with Ronan the night before hadn’t felt so easy—we’d been too on edge while we prepared to leave town.

Bas took off right around the time Aoife put Sean to bed, and when he got down to the end of the driveway, he texted that there was a prospect out there keeping watch. I felt the muscles in my neck relax a little. I could stay, it wasn’t like I hadn’t slept on the floor before, but I was hoping that everyone would be settled enough that I could go over to Myla’s.

I needed to fix things with her. The long ride had given me plenty of time to run through everything that had happened and realize that I really didn’t want to be without her. However she wanted that to look, I was down. I thought I’d been keeping just enough distance between us that we weren’t crossing any lines that could fuck me later, but that was a goddamn joke.

Everyone we knew acted like we were together already. Her dad hadn’t batted an eye when he’d seen us asleep together on the couch. He’d volunteered to stay a day after everyone else left so that Myla could stay an extra day, too. Titus hadn’t questioned us—ever. Hell, none of her brothers had ever even pulled me aside for a conversation, even after they’d found her sleeping in my tent.

And truth be told, I was already fucked. I’d left the lines blurred and never made any kind of promises—but that hadn’t changed a goddamn thing. I was already fucking nuts about her. Drowning, and we hadn’t even had sex yet.

“Cian,” Aisling said, waving her hand in front of my face. “I’ve called your name like four times.”

“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled, wiping a hand down my face.

“Do you think, um.” She shifted from foot to foot.

“What?”

“Do you think you could stay here tonight? Just tonight? I’m just a little jittery, you know? I’m sure I’ll be fine by tomorrow, but it was already almost dark when we got here, so it’s just freaking me out a little. I’ll be good tomorrow, though. I know you want to go home and shit. I’m really sorry to even ask—”

“Jesus, take a breath,” I said, cutting her off. “I can stay. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, her lips pulling up on one side in a small relieved smile. The other side had lost most of its swelling, but it still wasn’t moving the way it should.

I’d noticed. Aoife had noticed. I wasn’t sure if Aisling had noticed it yet. It could still go back to normal, so I wasn’t going to say anything.

I spent the night on the floor of the living room. The next day, Aoife asked if I would go grocery shopping with her, which turned into shopping for a bunch of clothes for Aisling to replace what she’d lost. We all ate dinner together, and by the time it was over, Aisling was as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. The next day, I had to get back to work, so I ran home for a quick shower and headed to the garage. After work I had a meeting with the Aces president and officers to go over all of the shit that had happened with Julian Kitz, Richie’s decision to go into witness protection—which they weren’t pleased about—and the fact that I’d moved my sisters to town. My two lives were no longer separate.

As soon as I got home that night, I crashed before I even made it to the shower. The next day I headed into work again but had to leave early because Aisling was having a weird pain in her side and Aoife was worried that she was having complications from some of her injuries. We didn’t get home from the emergency room until late, and I ended up on Aunt Ashley’s living room floor again. The days bled into one another while I got pulled in seven different directions. I was barely keeping my head above water, and all the time I was on edge waiting for Julian Kitz to rear his crazy fucking head again.

Between one thing and a million others, I didn’t even have a chance to call Myla and ask to see her until almost a week later.

I didn’t have a clue how badly I’d fucked up until I got to her house that night. I also didn’t handle it well when I realized it.