Chapter 20Janie

Chapter 20 Janie

“Nothing. I swear, nothing is missing,” I wailed at Emir, staring at the contents of my wardrobe and jewelry box spread out on the duvet.

We’d spent an hour cataloguing the house contents like the world’s most invasive insurance appraisers. I’d never realized how much stuff I had until I’d been forced to stare at each item through the eyes of a thief. What was it worth? How much did it weigh? I needed to organize a garage sale. Except I didn’t want to invite strangers to poke around my house. I didn’t want anyone around, except Emir. For some reason, I trusted him. Maybe it was his refusal to sleep with me, his direct manner, or the lack of smiles, but he was the one male I could tolerate right now. Barely.

“How can you know?” Emir demanded. “You have so many clothes.”

“I know the designer pieces. Nobody would go after my farm clothes.”

“What about your underwear?”

I blinked. “I don’t have designer underwear.”

Emir cleared his throat. “I mean, you have a laundry hamper in there.” He pointed at the now nearly empty walk-in wardrobe.

My nose wrinkled. “You think someone took my dirty underwear?” I was so disgusted by the possibility I couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“Just check, please,” he pleaded, still pointing at the open doorway.

He turned away as I pulled piece by piece out of the hamper. At a glance, it didn’t seem like anything was missing. I thought back to what I’d been wearing lately. The yellow lace! I’d worn a yellow bra and a pair of lacy yellow panties to feel sexier for the filming earlier today. The bra was here, but where were the panties? I dumped the contents on the floor and put them back one by one. No. The yellow lace panties were gone.

I paused for a moment, trying to remember where I’d undressed when getting ready for the date. Maybe that pair was lying under the bed or somewhere in the bathroom. If I told Emir about it, he’d flip out. The man was already on edge. I didn’t want to see him any more agitated, or protective.

“All accounted for,” I reported, stepping back into the bedroom.

“Okay. I’ll check all the locks for signs of tampering. Do you have a flashlight I can borrow?”

I rummaged through the hallway closet and found the giant one Shaun had bought, complaining about the lack of outdoor lighting. It was heavy enough to knock someone out, which was probably a good thing right now. “Here you go.”

Emir flipped the thing in his hands like it weighed nothing, and my stomach flipped. I’d never realized how phallic an object it was. The same lighting power could likely have been achieved without the size and weight, but I could imagine men choosing this product over anything pocket sized every time.

He held the flashlight at an upward angle, examining it. “You’re wondering if mine’s bigger, right?”

I burst out in nervous laughter. I’d never heard him talk like this. “Emir. Are you trying to lighten the mood?”

His slight half-smile had an embarrassed edge. “Is it working?”

I took the flashlight from him, measuring it in my hands. It’d be an impressive size. Too long for comfort, but nice and thick. I stifled another giggle, grateful for the momentary break from the terror I’d been feeling. “Thank you. Now I’ll never be able to touch this thing without thinking about your… you know.”

“I was willing to take that risk.”

“And you’re not going to answer the question, are you?”

He shook his head. “My only intention was to make you smile.”

I smiled, relishing in the way his features softened and mouth twitched in response. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was still a miracle. In that moment, I felt deeply grateful for him, even his protectiveness. If I’d been home alone… I didn’t even want to imagine how terrifying all of this could have been. It could have been me, walking into my own bedroom and finding the door open and someone behind the window. Someone who may or may not have stolen my used underwear. I shuddered.

“Are you okay?” Emir touched my shoulder.

I nodded, overcome by a full-body shiver I suspected he could detect with his fingers. “I’m fine.”

I’ll be back soon.” Emir flipped the switch, casting a beam of light on the wall. Every other light inside was already on as I’d been desperately trying to chase away the shadows of the night. I’d told Shaun I preferred moody, atmospheric lighting and being able to see the moon and the stars. Now, I wanted industrial strength spotlights out on my yard and all the way down my driveway.

As Emir left to investigate the locks, I returned to the bedroom, desperate to rule out the possibility of someone stealing my panties. I searched under the bed, every corner of the bathroom and everywhere else I could think of. When I was certain they weren’t in the bedroom, I jogged through the house to check the laundry, going through my pile of sheets.

The yellow underwear was gone.

What did this mean? Had someone broken into my house to steal a pair of used underwear? The thought turned my stomach so much I didn’t even want to explore it any further. It made no sense. Maybe I’d put them in the wash, and they’d been swallowed by the same black hole that ate single socks? I hadn’t run the washer, but maybe the black hole was getting stronger and able to suck in objects without water or mechanical rotation. I shook my head at the crazy thoughts. I’d never been burgled before and felt shaken to my core.

I returned to the living room and made us tea. I’d only picked on my dinner and was currently living off the slice of pizza I’d stolen from Emir’s plate, most of which had been left there, uneaten. He must have been starving. I made us ham sandwiches and microwaved apple pies I found in the fridge. I needed something cozy and sweet.

When Emir came back from outside, I had the table set for two, the lighting turned down to my usual evening vibe and a candle flickering in the middle. It looked so homely and inviting, yet I couldn’t shake the sense of dread.

“This looks nice,” he said.

“I figured you might still be hungry. I am.”

I poured him a cup of well-brewed tea and chose the seat next to him so that we were occupying the corner of the huge dining table. It must have looked odd, but I didn’t care. I needed him close, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to digest anything.

“Thank you. I haven’t eaten anything in hours,” he confessed, tackling the sandwich with gusto.

“I was thinking… It’s only nine o’clock. If you hadn’t interrupted our date, I might still be out. Maybe whoever was here knew I was going out. I don’t know how, but it’s possible, I think. And if they did, maybe they chose tonight for that reason, thinking I’d be out all night.”

Emir swallowed, nodding. “I thought about that, too. Someone who knew about your date but didn’t know about me. And then we walked in on him, and he had to flee. Maybe that’s why nothing is missing. He didn’t have time to take anything.”

“You think he would have broken in right before we arrived?”

I felt better about that option. I hated to think of someone spending an hour at my house, touching and sniffing my things. Was that person now sitting somewhere, sniffing my underwear? I fought the gagging reflex and swallowed the piece of bread in my mouth.

“But even then, if it was a burglar, they’d go for the low-hanging fruit, like your jewelry. You had gold necklaces hanging in that little tree on your dressing table. It would have taken him seconds to grab those. It makes no sense.” Emir slowly shook his head, the frown on his forehead deepening.

Unless they just went straight to the laundry hamper, I thought, my insides twisting. But there was still a chance I was wrong. Those panties would turn up, and I’d feel like a fool.

We ate in silence, both listening for any sounds out of the ordinary, but there was nothing going on, only the faint whirr of cicadas behind the window, like a static from a disconnected TV someone had left on. The night already felt cooler. I loved sleeping with my window open, and feeling that breeze, but how could I do that anymore? I’d have to close and lock every door and window.

“I know it’s late, but I need to do some exercise,” I said. “I’ll just get changed first. Do you mind if I take over the living room floor?”

He looked surprised. “Why do you ask? It’s your house. Or are you asking me to join you?”

I swallowed a lump. “I guess I’m asking you to stay close. I know that sounds stupid, but I’d feel better if—”

“Of course. I’ll be here.”

We cleaned up after our second dinner, and he settled on the couch with Gru and a thriller he found on my shelf. How could he read something like that after a day like this? I’d never understand men. They seemed to thrive on adrenaline, whereas I felt drained and shaky, desperate to return to my previous state of ignorant bliss, the time in the past when I’d never even considered the possibility of someone breaking into my house. But obviously, that option wasn’t available, and I’d have to adjust to the new reality. What would that reality look like when Emir returned to Turkey, and I was left here by myself?

Taking deep breaths to quell the shivers, I retreated to my bedroom, constantly looking over my shoulder as I organized my clothes and changed into a pair of slacks and a T-shirt. This didn’t change anything between me and Emir, I reminded myself. We had no future, and the harder I leaned on him to get through this, the harder I’d make this for both of us. I had to rely on myself. I had to be brave enough.

I hurried back to the living room, instantly feeling better when I found Emir exactly where I’d left him, seemingly engrossed in the book. But as I lowered myself to the floor, I felt his eyes on me.

I cast the exercise video from my phone to the TV, keeping the volume so low I could barely hear it. I was afraid the cheerful voice of the Pilates lady would drown out something else I needed to hear.

Would I ever feel relaxed again? Even though making my muscles burn helped, it didn’t soothe the roiling in my stomach.

I got up on shaking legs. “I don’t want to keep you up, but would you like to watch a movie with me? I’ll just take a quick shower.”

Emir’s eyes filled with understanding. “Are you nervous about going to sleep?”

That’s exactly what I was feeling, but I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do this.

“No. I’m just not that sleepy yet,” I said brightly, stifling a yawn.

I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed, as long as it was next to Emir in a windowless room with a bolted door. Or just next to Emir. I needed him close enough to feel his vitals. I needed a living, breathing male handy with a weapon between me and the rest of the world.

So, I’d been reduced to this? I’d accused him of caveman behavior, and now I wanted to sleep in a cave, protected by a particularly tall and strong specimen of the male species who was holding a club.

Come on, Janie! You’re better than this.

“Actually… I’m starting to feel tired. I’ll just go to bed. Sleep tight!” I yawned for good measure and gave him one last smile before skipping to my end of the house.

He’d be in the same house. The doors were locked. Tomorrow, I’d get better locks. Dead bolts. Chains. A security camera at every entrance. I’d sell some of my useless junk to cover the cost. I only had to make it through this one night.