Chapter 1Emir

Chapter 1 Emir

Two people so over-the-top in love should have come with a warning label, flashing lights and sirens. Then maybe I could have avoided the sickening displays of affection. Except I was at a family dinner, and there was no escape.

I buttered a dry piece of breadstick, trying my best not to look at my brother Cem and his fiancée Aria. Despite my carefully selective focal points of a half-eaten lamb carcass, brass candle sticks and my own plate, I’d already witnessed five achingly long looks, two lingering kisses and was certain Cem’s left hand was doing something inappropriate under the table.

“Could you at least try to look like you’re not here to murder everyone?” Cem hissed in Turkish.

“Could you stop the public foreplay?” I hissed back.

Mom gave me a warning look, then turned her sharp eyes at Cem. “ Allah, Allah! Behave, both of you.”

Aria threw us a cautious look, nudging a little further from Cem. She couldn’t understand Turkish but must have picked up on the vibe. I tried to relax my face, counting minutes. How long would this dinner last?

“Did anyone want seconds?” Aria’s mother Lyn pushed the silver tray of roasted vegetables towards my parents. Mom smiled and refilled their plates.

“How are you supporting yourself, Cem?” Aria’s father, Greg, asked, leaning forward. “Apart from this… acting?”

Okay, now we were getting somewhere, I thought. I much preferred straight talk to this simmering tension in the air.

“I am an actor,” Cem confirmed with a wide smile. “I’ve mostly worked in Turkey, but I’m hoping to get English-speaking roles here in New Zealand.”

I was still angry with Cem for throwing away the biggest opportunity of his career on a whim. First, he’d mooned the paparazzi and ended up with scandalous photos all over the internet. Then, just as I’d found a solution by staging photos with a Kiwi actress who resembled his co-star, he’d fallen in love with the stand-in and followed her to New Zealand, ruining our million-dollar deal with Epic Studios.

I had to admit one thing, though: I’d never seen Cem this happy. Stupidly happy. Forget Epic Studios. He could have starred on Sesame Street without a hint of irony.

“Actor, huh? It’s a hard slog,” Greg’s mostly bald head bobbed, bushy eyebrows drawing together. “Good to have a fallback career, maybe?”

“Definitely!” Aria’s mother, Lyn, echoed. “Our Aria did the smart thing, moving back here and taking a job at the film office.”

Aria’s eyes flashed with alarm. “I’m thinking of quitting,” She nibbled at her thumbnail. “I want to try acting one more time. See how this film does.”

She’d recently starred in an American feature film with Cem. The film would premiere next weekend, and a week before their engagement party—the reason I’d suffered the endless flights to this far-flung corner of the earth, with my parents.

“Besides, Cem’s very successful in Turkey,” Aria added. “He’s making way more money with his endorsement deals than I ever did at the film office.”

Aria’s parents gazed at their future son-in-law, surprised. Did they not know the extent of my brother’s fame and fortune?

After the dessert, we moved to the worn leather couches in the living room.

Cem stopped me at the doorway. “Are you coming with us to check the farm?”

“What farm?”

“Aria’s boss’s place. She said we can use it for the engagement party.”

I shrugged, torn between the thankless jobs of babysitting my parents and third-wheeling the nauseatingly-in-love couple.

“You don’t want me there,” I said.

“True. But you don’t want to stay here.” Cem nodded at Lyn, who’d already placed two, thick photo albums on the coffee table, saying something about Aria being such a cute, fat baby. Mom attacked the first one like it was a new romance novel.

I turned to Cem, pain throbbing in my forehead. “I’ll come with you.”

Three months after our first visit, the air felt different. Warm and humid, like in a greenhouse. Early autumn heat wave, I was told. The nights were a little cooler though, which I appreciated.

We piled into Aria’s tiny hybrid car and drove through endless greenery dotted with sheep and cows. The emptiness soothed my nerves. I much preferred animals to people.

No longer Cem’s manager, I’d been at a loose end, feeling increasingly anxious. For years, his drama-filled life had distracted me from my own. Or the lack thereof. With Cem happy and settled with no crisis looming in the horizon, I’d have to turn my attention to the struggling antique store. Or even worse, myself. What was I doing with my life?

Growing up, I’d been good at many things. I’d studied business, but I’d never built one for myself. I knew I’d one day inherit my father’s antique store.

The opportunity to become Cem’s manager had come at the perfect time—the perfect distraction from the life I didn’t want and a woman I was trying to forget. I’d poured my energy into turning my brother into a star, and succeeded, beyond our wildest dreams. And now he didn’t want to be one.

We drove through endless greenery, and the emptiness of it soothed my nerves. No people, only sheep and cows.

“We shouldn’t have left our parents together like that,” Aria’s voice wobbled with concern, hands tight around the steering wheel. “What if they fight and cancel the engagement?”

Cem shot her a sharp glance. “They can’t cancel anything. It’s our wedding.”

“Engagement,” she corrected.

“Why are there so many steps?” Cem moaned, adjusting his chair until it hit my knees. “Can’t we skip the rehearsal and get married? We got the marriage license and everything.”

“That was to check how it works. Because of the immigration and—”

“But we have it! Why can’t we just—”

Aria’s voice brimmed with frustration. “Because the health sector is in crisis, and we can’t have four ambulances on stand-by for all the heart attacks. We have to ease them into it. If they survive the engagement, they might survive the wedding.”

“I think she’s right,” I told my brother.

I’d walked in on Mom crying more than once. She was losing her baby to a stranger on the other side of the world. My family had already thought Cem was back together with his old co-star Burcu and nobody was more invested in that outcome than our mother.

With Cem away in New Zealand, I’d broken the news to them and spent a long time explaining the events that sounded eerily similar to plot lines of Mom’s favorite dizis (Turkish soap operas). Yes, my brother had fallen in love with a New Zealand woman who was the spitting image of Burcu, and no, she didn’t speak Turkish or come from a Turkish family. She wasn’t even Catholic. When the reality finally sank in, I’d dealt with the backlash—tears upon tears, elaborate prayers and long phone calls with trusted friends and relatives.

I didn’t mind. Over the years, I’d become accustomed to being hated. Water off a duck’s back, I told myself.

“Besides, we couldn’t ask Janie to host our wedding,” Aria added, turning onto a small, tree-lined driveway. “Even the engagement party is a big ask. She’s been through a divorce and running the place by herself.”

“We’ll take care of everything,” I said. “We can check her into a hotel—”

“No.” Aria threw me a warning look over her shoulder. “Janie would never go for that! She’s already planning the party. She’s… involved.”

Oh, great. One of those. This Janie sounded a lot like every one of my aunties.

“Okay, fine. But we will cover the cost and hire her some help.” I was representing my parents. I could almost hear their voices in my head, behind the words that came out of my mouth. Regardless of how they felt about the union, they were proud Turks and would insist on helping and showering the couple with gifts.

“She’ll appreciate that,” Aria said diplomatically. “But don’t suggest she leaves her house. She’d never.”

Aria parked on the side of a large turning bay, and I took in Janie’s house. That’s when I understood. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave this place, either. A sprawling timber building nestled on the side of a hill, bathing in the sun. The flowering trees created an atmosphere someone else might have described as romantic.

I catalogued the photo opportunities, raising my trusted Sony camera. I hung back as Cem kissed Aria, whispering something in her ear. The evening light made everything glow golden. I raised my trusted Sony and snapped a couple of pictures of them.

When the kissing turned French, I directed my lens at the house, framing the entrance between tall bird of paradise bushes. The spiky, orange flowers hung over the stone steps leading to the blue door.

A familiar rush traveled through me, almost overtaking the headache. I enjoyed photography: The journey of looking for the perfect angle, perfect lighting and that perfect moment, capturing it and later, teasing out my vision in Photoshop.

I checked the focus and pressed my finger on the shutter. And that’s when the front door opened. My finger kept rapid firing on autopilot as a willowy blonde hopped over two steps and strode down the path towards us. Her tiny shorts showed off long, tanned legs, which disappeared inside heavy-duty rubber boots. Her hair fell over her shoulders in golden waves, and she smiled so brightly I almost reached for my sunglasses.

“Welcome!” She offered her hand to Cem and Aria, then turned to me.

“Hello! I’m Janie. You must be…”

I lowered my camera. “Emir Erkam, Cem’s brother.”

I held her hand and gaze a moment too long, unable to look away.

“Yes, of course you are.” Janie’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. “Like two peas in a pod.”

I furrowed my brow. “We look alike?”

“Yes, we do!” Cem confirmed, assuming a comically deep frown.

I shook my head, chest tight. I wasn’t used to anyone noticing me, especially next to my magnetic brother. I much preferred being invisible behind the camera.

“Emir is in charge of the photos,” Cem told Janie. “That way nobody is frowning in them.”

Janie laughed, playfully slapping my arm. My spine tingled at her sudden touch. “I’m sure he’s not that much of a grump. Wait, are you?”

I turned to look at the house. “So, this is your place? It’s beautiful.”

Janie stepped back, spreading her arms. “Yes! I’m freshly divorced, so I’m still considering titles. I like the sound of countess.”

I tried to detect sadness in her bubbly voice. No one should look and sound that happy right after a divorce. She must have been an actress. I remembered Aria mentioning a TV career. Was she one of those who faked so expertly they ended up believing their own lies? I knew the type.

“I’m sorry to hear about the divorce,” I said.

She met my gaze and her laughter fizzled out. “Don’t be sorry. I got to keep this house. I love it here.” The little wobble in her voice relaxed me. Maybe she wasn’t a complete phony.

I lifted my camera, pointing it away from the house. Rolling hills stretched out to the horizon, dotted by occasional houses, too far to even count the windows. Absolute privacy, far away from civilization. A paragon of peace.

“I’d give you a tour, but I’m on my way to give a horse eyedrops,” Janie flashed us an apologetic smile and pulled a small bottle out of her pocket. “But if you want to have a wee look around, I’ll catch you later?”

“Yeah, sure,” Aria agreed, taking Cem’s hand. “I want to show you the deck. It might be big enough for everyone so we could eat outdoors.”

“Please ignore the broken trellis and ceramic planters. I know it’s weeks since the storm, but I’ve been so busy.” Janie looked away, her cheeks rosy.

“Don’t worry! We have great imagination,” Aria smiled.

As soon as Janie turned around, strolling down the driveway, Cem pulled Aria into his arms, his hands shamelessly roaming down her backside.

“You go ahead. I’ll take a look at the… garden,” I gestured in the opposite direction where there may or may not have been a garden. If my brother and his fiancée were off to dry hump on the verandah, I’d investigate anything else. A compost. A scum pond.

“Catch you later!” Cem pulled Aria with him, disappearing around the corner. They couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

I saw Janie’s slight frame advancing down the tree-lined dirt road, her hair and shirt flapping in the breeze. Something was pulling me towards the stables. It was the horse, I told myself. I wanted to see the horse.