11. Sara

Chapter eleven

Sara

This is not how I expected dinner to go. I'm distraught at some of the horrible things said to me.

But it's wonderful to hear Robert's words. I didn't even know he thought of me that way.

He gestures to the main road, leading to a large bridge that connects to the parish.

"The driver says that he can take us over to the resort right now."

"Let's go."

Robert calls, and a few moments later the driver shows up. We don't say much as he drives across the tiny road to the resort next to Robert's land. We get out, and I gesture with admiration at a large home nearby.

"Yes, that's mine." Robert confirms.

I stand there, taking in the sight. It's the biggest mansion I think I've ever seen. It goes for as long as I can see. "Wow. I'm still not used to your wealth."

"Don't be. I'm not even used to it."

I chuckle at his words, but the thought of him being some filthy rich guy while still being down to earth takes me aback. We walk to the door, and he opens it with a combination. Then he stands before the inner door, doing a retina scan before the lock clicks.

"I have a retinal scan for whenever there are no occupants. Protects the place. I can turn it off remotely when I am letting guests use it."

"I see," I reply. Truthfully, I don't know why he would need such ample protection when he lives all the way out here.

We step inside, and I see my blue suitcase in the entryway. I grab it, and Robert gestures to the hall to the left of the entryway.

"That's your end of the house. If that's okay."

"That's fine, thanks." I've never had half of a house before, I think, chuckling to myself.

I put my bag into the room, seeing that it's bigger than my apartment. It's overwhelming and quite bright. Everything is blue, from the walls to the sheets, although the sides of the bed are a deep oak brown.

Peaceful and beautiful. Certainly, a nice contrast to the storm in my heart.

I test out the bed and give it the baby bear approval. "Jussst right," I say, patting the mattress. I can't help myself for what happens next, totally involuntary. There is so much space that I break out in dance moves while I screech out some rock song that I really don't know the words to.

My pretend mike is covering up my line of sight to the doorway where Robert is leaning against the doorframe, hands in pockets and wearing a broad grin. "Settled in?" he asks gently, spacing his words in during my gasps for air between screeches.

Okay, now I'm embarrassed. Red faced from the exercise of the entertainment and now from being caught. I plop on the carpet in laughter.

Oh well, it's best that Robert sees the real me the sooner the better.

In the living room I see Robert checking his phone. He puts it away and then turns to me.

"Settled in?" he asks again, still grinning.

"Yeah."

"This way." He gets up and walks to the white door next to the living room. He opens it to a huge expanse of white sand. I take in the sight, completely mesmerized by just how big the ocean is.

"Wow."

"Over here."

I step out of the threshold and take off my shoes, following Robert until we get over to a giant rock that sits against the shore. He gets on it, extending his hand to help me up. For a lengthy moment, I watch as the waves crash toward the rock. A couple of sprays of water tickle my feet, but otherwise, the rock is dry.

"It's so peaceful out here."

"That's why I like it. Because there are no people, no problems, nothing." he explains.

"I can understand that," I reply. It's like the ocean sucks away all of my worries as well.

All except one. My eyes turn to look at Robert as I attempt to figure out what to say. My thoughts drift to dinner. Sure, it tasted great, but the conversation made me feel ten times more awkward afterward. I've never been spoken to or about like that and it hurts.

"Thank you for earlier."

"No problem."

"No, seriously," I insist, turning to face him. My eyes take in his handsome face, his chiseled chin, and those gorgeous eyes, and move from the slight bit of five o'clock stubble on his chin to his hair being blown by the wind. "I mean it. Your aunt really doesn't like me."

"She hates everyone."

"She hates me more than most people."

He scoffs and shrugs. "Let her hate. She's only wealthy cause of her ex-husband. She probably goaded him to give her all of his wealth. Disgusting woman."

I nod. She was quite interesting. Definitely a shallow person. "Yeah. I didn't feel welcome by her, that's for sure."

"I know. And I'm sorry about that. She just tends to fire me up, especially when I see her. There's a reason why I don't really engage with her."

"That's fair," I agree.

I stare out at the sun as it sets. Robert's arm brushes against me. His hand stays away, and while I want to reach out and touch it, I stop myself.

"There is something I want to ask you, Robert."

He turns to me, looking into my eyes. The blue in his eyes compliments the water, looking just as serene.

"Go ahead."

"Why do you do this?" I manage to ask. It's something that's been in the back of my mind for a bit. Now's the best time to just ask and hope I at least get some semblance of an answer.

"What do you mean?"

"Just how you treat me," I reply. "You're often cold and you have sort of brushed me off when we're in private, but then you defend me in front of your family. What gives?"

Maybe it's selfish of me to ask this. I can't deny how much it bothers me, however. It's like an itch you can't scratch.

"I'm not doing that. I act the same way around you as I do them," he defends.

"No, you don't," I reply. I move a little bit closer, and my dress rides up slightly. I tug at the hem for a second as I look at him. "You're sometimes unapproachable. Heck, I thought you didn't want anything to do with me until you asked if I wanted to come out here."

"That's not true, Sara."

"Then why don't you let me in? Why are you so worried about telling me what's going on in there, then?" I ask, pointing to his head.

I feel like that's a valid question. Robert's always distant, but then suddenly, he acts like we're lovers or something. He sighs and shakes his head.

"It's hard to explain. I haven't told anyone about what I've been through. People know the bits and pieces, but I just haven't found the right person to share my full past with.

He shirks back slightly and looks away. My thoughts race as I fumble with the next approach.

"Am I the right person then?"

He looks at me for a moment, not saying a word. I half-expect him to push me to the side and keep his distance like he always does. But then, his hand snakes out, and he holds mine.

"I do think you are. Which is why I've had issues talking to you."

I try to understand. Robert's words and actions are hard to decipher, though.

"What kinds of issues?" I need to know exactly what he means.

"My past. I haven't really opened up about what I've been through."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask calmly. The last thing I want is for him to refuse, pushing me away even more. I don't want him to. His back and forth on how he acts around me is getting to me, making me wonder if I'm imagining things or if he really does like me.

He sighs, and then he inches a bit closer. His eyes look back out toward the sea, specifically the little island in the distance.

"I like this place. When I look out at the sea, it feels like I'm peeling away the layers, finding the true me."

"What do you mean?"

He adjusts his body so that we're closer to each other. I haven't been this physically close to Robert ever, but I like it. His legs brush against mine, and the hairs tickle my shin. Finally, I see it for a brief second. That smile.

"Yes, I think I can tell you about what I've been through. I think you're the perfect person."

"I'd like to hear it. You don't have to push yourself though."

I know if we keep dating, I'll eventually learn. He shakes his head, looking down.

"No. You're the first person who's made me feel this way, Sara. I feel so comfortable with you. If anything, I should tell you because you deserve to know the truth. I can't run away anymore."

"What truth?" I ask.

"About the reason why I've kept my heart shut and how you've managed to, in some weird way, unlock these feelings that I've kept buried."

I lean my head against his shoulder. He doesn't pull away but instead, he lets go of my hand to touch my hair. He looks out, and as the waves ebb and flow to the shore, I quietly await what he wants to tell me.

"Sara, you're the first person since my ex-fiancée who's made me feel these feelings. And right now, I'm trying to understand them."