Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

LILY

I sit in the doctor's office with Landon, gripping his hand tightly as we look across the large, somewhat imposing desk from his doctor. Doctor Gallivan is a serious man who's giving me bad news vibes. On the way here, I wondered if Carter, the director, or somebody else from work might have spotted us together, as irrational as that sounds.

We still have to deal with that, but it doesn't matter as we sit here now.

"Your first doctor was …" The doctor leans forward with a sigh. "… slightly eager in his diagnosis. All your tests are showing signs of Schwannoma."

"What's that?" Landon says, and I hear him trying to hold back his hope. I do the same, trying not to let the warmth bubbling inside overwhelm me.

"It's a rare type of tumor that forms in the nervous system. Schwannoma grows from cells called Schwann cells. Schwann cells protect and support the nerve cells of the nervous system. Schwannoma tumors are often benign, which means they are not cancer, but in rare cases, they can become cancer. Doctor Coleman shouldn't have told you that you definitively had cancer."

"So … I don't?" Landon sounds almost boyish in his budding excitement. It brings a big smile to my face, hearing him like this. "Mine aren't cancerous?"

"No," the doctor says, "but we will monitor you over the coming months and years to ensure that it remains that way."

"Wait." Landon massages his forehead. "Years?"

The doctor finally smiles. "Yes, Mr. Cross, years ."

As soon as we're alone in the doctor's office hallway, I throw my arms around Landon and hug him tightly. I don't even stop to think that somebody who might know me could spot us. I don't think about anything other than he's not going to die .

"Years," he murmurs, "not months …"

"Are you going to sue?"

He tilts his head at me. "Sue? Without that misdiagnosis, I never would've gone to The Row. I never would've seen you." He takes my hands in his, holding me warmly. "I never would've fallen in love. I would've just kept going on autopilot: cold, empty, living from one day to the next with no thought about what the hell I honestly want ."

"I love seeing you like this," I murmur, my chest feeling bright with joy. It's like a star is in me, beaming light and heat.

"I just can't believe it," he says, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't have to leave you. I don't have to think, every second we're together, that there's no way we can have a future together. I don't have to feel guilty because falling in love means leaving you behind, leaving you to grieve."

I jump into his arms, kissing him. He holds me up, moving against the wall. I wrap my legs around him. When we hear a door open down the hallway, he quickly puts me down, just in time for a nurse to walk by us.

"Maybe we should go somewhere more private?" I whisper.

He smirks. "Now there's an idea …"

During the car ride back to his apartment, he says, "I've just realized. We're not out of the woods yet, are we? We still have to think about your work. If Carter finds out we're together?—"

"I don't want to think about that," I confess. "I know it's selfish, but we've got the rest of the weekend ahead of us. Let's focus on the next hour, the next minute."

"Just because I've got longer than I thought," he says, nodding, "doesn't mean we should stop savoring every moment."

I beam, reaching over and taking his hand. "That's exactly what I'm thinking. We can still make every second count, but I need you to know something. I'm not leaving you. I don't care what they say."

"Your job, Lily … It's what you've always wanted."

"If they think they can tell me how to live my life, especially based on something so stupid , they can go to hell. I'll find another way to help people."

"They shouldn't have any right to tell you what to do," he says, nodding, "but the fact is, they'll fire you. It's the cold, hard reality unless …"

"Unless what?" I ask.

"When does your internship end?"

I think for a moment. "Five weeks."

He nods. "We can make that work, can't we? For five weeks? Once they've given you the job, there's no damn way they can fire you for finding a husband."

When I gasp and he looks at me, I can tell he doesn't realize what he's just said. Maybe he meant to say boyfriend , but it just slipped out.

"What?" he asks, then, thankfully, turns back to the road.

"Nothing," I tell him. "I'm just so happy, Landon. All this time, I thought we had an expiration date."

"Our only expiration date is forever ," he says intensely. "That's the only time frame I care about with you."

As we drive—in that comfortable silence that feels oh-so-natural—I think about what he said, realizing he's right. If he and I are married, there's no way work can fire me. Maybe they can try to find some other excuse, but if I perform my job impeccably without giving them any reason to fault me, how can they?

It's still a risk. But when I see that happy-to-be-alive look on my man's face, I know the risk will be worth it. If he didn't misspeak, that is. Is thinking of marriage this soon crazy? I almost laugh at the question. All of this is crazy. Trying to single out one thing makes no sense.

Reaching over, I place my hand on his arm.

"I love you," he says.

"I'll never tire of hearing that."

He smiles. "That's good. It means you won't go nuts when you hear it about a million more times."