Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

LILY

" I 'm so happy you're as crazy as me," I whisper as I put a playing card on the coffee table.

Maddie grins over at me from the other side as she places a card down. "Who can say no to a sleepover? Anyway, I'm not the one with work tomorrow."

"Work," I say, nodding, my stomach tight. "Yeah, but I know I'm not going to sleep. He's doing something tonight. I don't know what it is. It sounded like he planned to get reckless, but he wouldn't tell me."

"Because you're not supposed to know," Maddie says lightly. "Are you? Unless you want to lose your job …"

"I don't want that, obviously," I sigh, placing another card now. "Snap," I add halfheartedly. "You let me win that one."

"Anything so you wipe that look off your face."

"Can I genuinely care this much?"

" Can you care? What do you mean?" Maddie asks.

"I don't even know him, but I want to be with him now and in the future. I want to see where it goes, but that's the cruel thing. It's not going to go anywhere. It can't."

"Not everything has to go somewhere," Maddie says, shrugging. "Maybe you could have some fun?"

"I broke down on him," I tell her. "I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop hating that he was going to leave me, and that was after days . After weeks, months, I think it'd break me."

"I'm so sorry, Lily. I wish I had answers."

"I'm just glad you're here."

We play quietly some more, and then Maddie says, "If you think he's doing something tonight, you could text him and ask. You could explain that you know you said you didn't want to know, but it's eating you up. It's not like work has the right to check your personal cell, so they'd never know."

"That work situation is a joke, anyway," I snap.

"I wish you'd recorded Carter saying all that stuff."

"Me too," I say. "He was smart. He didn't give me a chance. I bet he'll never admit it again, but I saw the director's face. She's definitely pissed at me."

"But he told you the truth … and you don't think he did anything wrong?"

I haven't told Maddie about the apple tree job, but she knows I know what happened. I nod. "I can see why Carter resents him, but hating him is unfair ." I grab my phone. "You know what? I'm going to do it right now."

When I look at my screen, my mouth falls open.

"What's wrong?" Maddie says.

"He's called me seven times in the last ten minutes. My phone's been on silent."

"Call him back!"

I quickly press the call button. He answers after not even a full ring.

"Lily," he says. "I'm sending somebody to get you and your mom right now."

"Wait, what?"

"I can't explain, but it's unsafe for you there."

"Where are you?" I demand.

"At The Row with Grace and her mom."

"Grace … the girl with the red braid?"

"Pack a bag, enough for a couple of days at least."

"But—"

" Please, " he snaps. "I can't lose you. I can't even imagine it. Please, Lily, listen to me and trust me."

"You're scaring me," I whisper.

"You trusted me before," he growls. "When I told you that you and your mom would be happy, that you'd find a way out of the stress and pain, you didn't believe it. I could see it in your eyes, Lily. You were so scared, so beaten down. I told you to trust me, and you said you did. Do the same now. Keep your cell on loud. My friend will be there soon."

He hangs up.

"Maddie, you need to go home," I say.

"What, why?"

"Because Damon knows where I live, but he doesn't know about you. Go out the back door and get home fast, okay? Text me when you're there."

"Are you serious?"

My voice breaks. "You have to, Maddie."

Mom leaps up from her chair when the apartment buzzer goes off. It feels like something cuts through me, too. She shoulders her bag. "Is it … him ?"

Her emphasis on him makes me wonder if she's talking about Landon or Damon. I go to the front window and look out at the street. Then I check my phone. Landon sent me a photo of Ethan, his business partner. "It's him," I say. "Our ride."

"Are we sure about this?"

"Would you prefer to wait here for the Irish mob to show up, Mom? Landon is doing this for us, to keep us safe ." I turn to Mom, finding her frowning at me. "You can look at me like that all you want. I'm saying this because it's true, or do you think he made up the mob and The Bear, too? Do you think he invented it all?

"Of course not," Mom whispers.

"We have to go. Come on."

I take her hand, and we leave the apartment and go to the main entrance together. Ethan is tall and wide, built similarly to Landon, except he looks a little slicker, a little less genuine somehow. Perhaps a bit more corporate , but he's here, helping us, so I should probably stop judging.

"Lily?" he says. "And Vivian?"

"Yes, hello." Mom steps forward and offers her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"And you," Ethan says. "I wish it could be under different circumstances. I hear you are staying with me for a couple of days?"

"If that's okay?—"

"You're more than welcome. Let's go. Mind if I drive?"

I know why he's saying that—extra precautions. They don't want Damon to be able to track us. Ethan leads us across the street to a sleek black sedan, precisely the car I'd imagine him driving. We put our bags in the trunk, and then Mom and I get into the backseat.

"Is Landon okay?" I ask as Ethan starts the engine.

"He's safe," Ethan replies, "but I don't know much. He just told me I had to come and get you, so that's what I did. I asked if he was safe. He said he was, but that's all the information he'd give me. He's been acting strange since …"

"I know about his diagnosis," I mutter.

"He hasn't been himself," Ethan says. "Or, maybe, he has been himself."

"Huh?" I say.

Ethan shakes his head slowly. "I don't know. Sometimes, I wonder if Landon even really knows who he is. Sometimes, I think he went from dedicating his life to the pro bono work to our business because …"

"You helped him," I say. "He told me."

Ethan flinches. "He talked to you about that ?"

"Yeah," I say, glancing at Mom. "Sorry, Mom. I can't say."

Mom waves a hand. "This is all crazy enough without adding more madness on top of it."

Ethan takes a corner, running his other hand through his hair. "I helped him, so he decided to help me with the business. The thing with Landon is—or was—that he doesn't place much stock on his happiness. He performs. He rises to the occasion. He's become richer than God, but I think he didn't stop to think if it was what he truly wanted. Since it was what I wanted, maybe he just went along with it."

Ethan sighs. "Sorry, ladies. I didn't mean to unload."

"Don't be sorry," I say quickly. "I should be saying thank you for this insight into Landon."

"Since his diagnosis, and since …" He glances in the rearview.

"What?" I whisper.

"Since he ran into you again, Lily, he's finally thinking about what he wants. You've helped him discover himself more in a few days than anyone else could have in years. That's why he's doing this. That's why he finds our work hollow now. I can't even blame him for it. I want him to be happy with whatever time he has left."

The last bit makes me wrap my arms across my middle. I feel tired, drawn out, and achingly emotional. Mom reaches across and touches my hand. I'm shocked she'd offer support when it comes to this.

"Ethan," Mom says.

"Yes?"

"Tell us about Landon's girlfriends."

That gets a rueful laugh from him. "His what?"

"His girlfriends. His dating life."

"Why?" Ethan asks.

"Why don't you want to tell me?" Mom counters. "Is there something you'd like to hide?"

"No, but if you want me to start dishing out dirt on my friend, you'll need one hell of a reason."

"My daughter is in love with him?—"

"Mom."

"I want to know he isn't love-bombing her. He's older than her, you might've noticed."

"Mom, I'm an adult, sentient person who, you might have noticed , had to grow up fast," I snap.

Ethan doesn't say anything for a while. "Landon hasn't dated in years," he says after the tension has passed. "Even when he was on the dating scene, it would be a couple a year, and those were mostly double dates I'd drag him along to. Once, I asked him if he ever wanted to find a woman and settle down. Rich, coming from me …"

"What did he say?" I murmur, trying to hide how achingly bad I want to learn more about him.

"He said, sometimes when he was out in public, he'd look at married couples who were in love. The happy few, he called them. He said if he ever found a woman he could imagine experiencing that with, he'd snap her up in a second, but he didn't sound optimistic."

"Why?"

"There's a demon in him, he said. Maybe because of the …"

"I know," I whisper, so he doesn't have to reference the apple tree job again.

"He said it made him cold when he needed it, but it's why he'd never be able to find a woman. You know his brother died suddenly, too."

"Charley," I murmur. "I remember from when I was a kid. Do you, Mom? He talked about it."

"A heart attack, the poor man," Mom murmurs.

"After that, he was even colder than usual, even more logical. You can never fault Landon for being logical, but sometimes, that works against him. Sometimes, it's like he's built a prison for himself."

I'm trying to help him to break out. That goes unspoken. I'd probably sound like a dork if I said it aloud. I wanted to call him and check if he was doing okay, but he refused to answer once he knew I was with Ethan.

"We're almost there," he says.

"Has he told you what he's doing?"

"The right thing," Ethan says. "It's the only thing he knows how to do."

I want to ask Ethan to be more specific, but I can't push this too far. Instead, I sit back and rest my forehead against the window, thinking of Landon being alone for years, never knowing if he would find somebody. That's the difference between him and me. As messed up as it is, I thought I'd found my knight in shining armor the first time I saw him.

Sure, it was a girlish crush. He was an inspiration. I couldn't have known he would one day be the man for me. Yet silly and immature or not, I always had that fantasy to keep me going, at least. When I felt lonely or hopeless, I could think of him. Obviously, he wasn't thinking of me. He had nobody. He was cold.

"Lily," Mom whispers.

"I'm fine," I say, angrily rubbing my hand over my cheek. "What am I going to do about work tomorrow?"

"You'll have to call in sick," Ethan says. "It's Saturday the day after. Do you work Saturdays?"

"Not this week."

"Then yeah, call in sick, take the weekend, and hopefully, this will be sorted by next week."

"The mob … sorted , how?"

"Landon will find a way," Ethan snaps, then clams up.

I sigh and stare out the window until we get to his apartment. Ethan helps us carry the bags to the underground parking lot's elevator. The urge to scream is almost overwhelming as we ride it up together. How can I stay here, hiding away from the world, when Landon's helping people?

"What happens if we want to leave?" I ask.

"Why would we do that?" Mom snaps. "We should be grateful. If bad men are after us …"

"I'm just asking."

"I'm not going to stop you," Ethan says. "I can't legally keep you here, but I've never heard Landon like that. He made me promise to protect you. He sounded committed and seriously passionate about it. He would never forgive himself if you left here and something happened to you, Lily."

"Okay, I get it," I tell him, guilt pulsing through me. "I'm not going to run. I'm not going to do that to him."

A bitter voice reminds me that I have to remember about my job. If anybody sees us together …

The elevator door opens. A woman is lounging on the hallway chair, wearing nothing but a robe. She stands up when she sees us, brushing herself down.

"Are these your friends?" she says anxiously. She's got a British accent.

"I said you could wait in the bedroom, Rosie," Ethan replies.

"Are they staying with us?"

"With us ?" Ethan says, shaking his head. "Jesus, we talked about this …"

The woman frowns. She has a dignified look despite her messy hair and her outfit. "That isn't very gentlemanly to say in front of company."

Ethan glances at us, gritting his teeth, and not from the effort of holding our bags. "Rosita?—"

"So we're back to formal names now," the woman utters. "Oh, excuse me, ladies." She sneers over at us. "I just hope you know what sort of man you're dealing with. He'll turn a business meeting into a date, into drinks, then act as if you're trying to marry him for making a simple comment."

"Let's talk in private," Ethan says, stepping forward.

"I knew I should've stuck with the other one," she snaps. "My good boy Landon would never treat a lady like this."

She struts away. I gasp, a chord of shock jolting through me. Ethan drops the bags and follows Rosita, who is babbling. I hear the word sorry at least three times before they disappear around the corner.

"She said Landon," Mom mutters.

"I heard her," I snap.

"Ethan said he never dated, but she said?—"

"Mom." I spin on her. "Just listen to me, please. I heard her, and I don't want to talk about it." When she opens her mouth to say something, I raise my hand. "It's been about the longest day of my life. I don't know what she meant, but I trust Landon, and that's that."

Mom lowers her gaze and allows a slight nod, but I can see how badly she wants to start tearing into Landon even now, despite everything he's going through. She's too scarred by my father, by the love-bombing crap. I wish I could say it was just her, though. I feel the same uncertainty. Why would she say that about Landon?

Ethan returns a minute later. "Sorry about that. Let me show you to your rooms."

"Can I ask something?" Mom says.

I glare at her. I don't want to get into this now. Landon can explain it to me himself. I meant what I said. I trust him, even if Mom doesn't understand that.

"Where is your bathroom?" Mom asks.