Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

LILY

" Y ou don't need to keep watch," I tell Mom, leaning against the kitchen wall and watching her with a lump in my throat.

She's got her back to me, leaning against the kitchen counter. She explains she is doing the dishes, but they're almost dry now, and she's still standing there.

"What if he comes back?" she says without facing me.

I wrap my arms around myself, wishing it was my knight in shining armor instead. I don't even care how corny that is when I say it out loud. I can't deny it's what I want—him holding me. It would make the fear so much easier to bear.

"He won't," I tell Mom. "I'm doing what he told me to do. Carter won't even let me work on that case, anyway."

I can't keep the bitterness out of my voice. I get his point about more people always needing help, but that doesn't mean I have to be okay with it. I wish I could do something.

"There's nothing wrong with standing in my own kitchen."

"It reminds me of when you started to get clean. You'd stand at the window and wait for Dad to come home. Do you remember?"

Finally, she turns to me, her eyes glistening as though she's on the verge of crying. Or she has been, and now she's getting herself under control. "I had to be sure … just like I have to be sure now ."

"Nobody's coming, Mom," I say. "I promise, okay? Just come here."

I open my arms, offering a hug. She walks toward me reluctantly and lets me bring her into my arms. I cling to her, feeling like the mom, which isn't unusual for us. I had to grow up fast. I had to help where I could, how I could.

"I know you must hate letting the case go," she says, "but your boss is right. It's the best thing to do. You can't stop every bad thing from happening."

"I know, Mom," I say, but there's that same bitterness. "I'll let it go, but you have to let this go, okay? You know how to fixate on stuff."

"You're one to talk," she says teasingly.

I laugh. She's right, but I can't tell her about the person I'm currently fixating on. I can't tell Mom I've spent all day thinking about what happened with Landon this morning, the tension in the car, and how he ran after me. He wants—maybe needs —me to see him as a good person.

Mom finally agrees to go to bed. I should be able to sleep, too, but as I lie here, staring at the ceiling, I just can't. It's the thought of that bar, of Damon. Mostly, it's thinking of Landon being here with me.

The bed would be so much warmer, so much cozier. I can imagine wriggling up next to him and wrapping my arms around his middle, holding on as tight as I can as his solid, mature body tenses against me.

Screw it …

Rolling onto my back, I reach between my legs and start rubbing my clit softly. It feels so tingly, so sensitive compared to normal, as if I've been waiting all day to sink into this feeling. I imagine stroking my hand up and down Landon's cock so confidently, with so much eagerness. I'd make him hard, and then …

I let my imagination dance ahead because that's all it can ever be. Suddenly, Landon is naked, his muscles throbbing, standing at the end of my bed. He reaches down and strokes himself as he stares at me, looking completely obsessed.

"Touch your pussy for me," he says in a husky voice. "Touch your clit. Rub it. Make yourself wet for me. Only for me. Yes, Lily, fuck, I want you so badly. I need you. I know you feel the same. I know you want to fight it, but you can't. I'm the older, experienced man who will show you what I want. I know you're scared to trust me, but trust this."

I whimper as I slip my hand lower, rubbing my fingers over my wetness. I can't ever remember being this soaked before. If my mind is conflicted, my body is exactly the opposite. I press down hard on my sex, shifting my hips and imagining Landon thrusting into me.

I don't know how to imagine that exactly , but I try my best. I can feel his heat as he pushes down against me with his muscled body. I imagine running my hands through his hair like I'm tracing the silver streaks with my fingers.

It's oh-so-easy to imagine him looking down at me with that intense expression. He'll stare at me like nobody else exists as if he couldn't even imagine being attracted to anybody except me. "You're going to come on my dick. You're going to cream for me. You're going to do it for me, Lily. For me."

I'm so close to a soul-searing orgasm. My toes are curling all by themselves. I rub just my clit now, everything heating up, my head getting hazy in that perfect way, making it impossible to think about anything else. Only the moment exists, feeling so real.

Then, Mom's voice cuts into my fantasy. Suddenly, I'm lucid. "Mom?" I yell, springing out of bed.

She yells again. "I'm calling the cops!"

I run into the kitchen to find Mom yelling across the street as a man climbs from his car. From his height and how he moves, I can see it's Landon. Seeing him in real life so soon after the fantasy is enough to make the two clash together. It's like any second, he's going to touch me, finishing the orgasm I started.

I snap out of it. "Mom, wait. That's Landon ."

"What?" she gasps. "Landon Cross?"

"Yeah!"