9. CAMI

9

CAMI

“ W e’ll find something great, I promise,” Rae said. “The fun part is that Laken is so easy to buy for. She loves everything about Christmas.”

I grinned. “She’s my kind of person. Thanks for helping me with this.”

“Of course! I love getting out of the house, anyway.”

Hunter wasn’t with us today. We were shopping without him—Rae had paid one of the teenagers in town to look after him for an hour or two so that she could just breathe while we shopped.

I’d drawn Laken’s name, and I had no idea what to get her. I didn’t know anyone in town well enough. I’d gotten to know a lot of people over the past six months but not well enough to know what gifts they liked.

The store was a holiday wonderland—rows of ornaments twinkled under the cheery glow of string lights, and the air smelled of pine and cinnamon.

It was like stepping into a Christmas card, warm and welcoming, with shelves stocked full of everything from handmade candles to cozy scarves.

I loved this place, even if the weather outside was freezing. Snow blanketed the sidewalks, and people bustled in and out, their breath visible in the crisp winter air. Inside, though, it was warm and bright, a refuge from the cold.

Rae walked beside me, holding up a beautifully knit scarf. It had been made by one of the townspeople.

“What do you think? Laken could use this. She’s always outside with the horses, and it’s soft enough that it won’t irritate her skin.”

I nodded, running my fingers over the material. It was perfect for Laken—practical, yet thoughtful, and exactly the kind of thing she’d appreciate. “I like it,” I said, smiling. “It’s simple, but something she’ll actually use.” I frowned. “Is it too cliché, though? Almost like a pair of socks?”

“We can keep looking,” Rae said. “And if we find nothing else, we’ll come back.”

I nodded, and we browsed the shelves, but my mind wasn’t fully focused on the shopping. Instead, it kept drifting back to Mason. It never stopped, even when I told myself not to. Even when I tried so hard not to think about him… but the harder I tried, the more I failed.

It was usually like that, wasn’t it?

Don’t think of a pink elephant.

Same thing, except whenever I thought of Mason, warmth rushed over me and pooled between my legs. His touch, the way his breath had felt against my skin, the tension that had crackled between us like an electrical storm… I had to stop myself from blushing right there in the middle of the store.

“You okay?” Rae asked, pulling me back to the present. Right, we were in a PG store, not the kind of place where I should get turned on and think about dirty sex with a mountain man.

She watched me curiously.

I sighed, picking up a candle and setting it back down without really looking at it. “It’s Mason. I just… I don’t know what to think.”

“I was hoping Mason would be a topic!” Rae squealed. “I had a feeling you two might hit it off. He’s so quiet and broody and you’re so bright and outgoing and it’s the perfect match.”

“That doesn’t sound very perfect,” I pointed out.

“Opposites attract!” Rae cried out.

I tilted my head. “Yeah… I don’t know.” I swallowed hard and ran my fingers over the embossed letters on a holiday greeting card. “He showed up at my cottage the other night.”

Rae’s eyes widened with surprise. “Really? What happened?”

“He was a jerk,” I said. “Blaming me for something, telling me that he didn’t appreciate the changes or something… honestly, I can’t remember much of it because there was this spark and then…” I hesitated.

“And then what?”

I shook my head and my cheeks burned red.

“Did you…”

“No!” I cried out. “We didn’t. I mean, not all the way. But God, I wanted to. And that’s not how it should be. Not with him.”

I looked at Rae, whose face was filled with childlike glee.

“Right?”

“Why not? If there’s something like that between you, even if it’s just a spark—”

“It’s more than that,” I admitted, cupping my cheeks, trying to hide my blush. “I mean, it’s not just physical. I can’t stop thinking about him, and that’s the problem. He’s all over the place. One minute he’s looking at me like I’m a villain and the next there’s this fire burning between us and I need to quench it or it will consume me.”

Rae sighed dramatically. “You’re driving me crazy with those words! You’re making me wish more happened!”

I laughed despite myself. Rae was so much fun, breaking the tension but still someone I could be serious with.

“Mason’s a tough nut to crack, that’s for sure,” she finally said. “He’s got a whole lot of baggage.”

“Don’t we all?” I was thinking about the lucky packet of shit memories I had with me, pulling out one at random that knocked me down before I scrambled back up.

“If he’s acting weird”—Rae kept going—“it’s because he doesn’t know how to handle what he’s feeling. Or how to handle people. He’s been up there in the mountains so long, he’s not used to this.”

I sighed, leaning on the counter as we lingered by the display of holiday candles and cards. “I get that. I really do. But I’m starting to think I’m an idiot for even entertaining the idea of anything with him. I mean, I’m not here to find love, you know? And clearly he doesn’t want that either.”

Lust was a different story.

She shot me a look. “Don’t say that. You’re not an idiot, Cami. Mason’s complicated, sure. But so are you, right? So are we all… You’ve both been through some shit, and that’s going to take time to work through. It was like that with me and Tanner, too.”

I shook my head, the memory of our almost-intimate moment replaying in my mind, making me feel hot and bothered. What would have happened if we hadn’t stopped? What if we hadn’t pulled away? My skin still tingled at the thought of his hands on me, the heat between us, and my body wanted more. I ached for him in a way I’d never ached for anyone.

“I just don’t know what he wants,” I said quietly. I didn’t know what I wanted, either. And maybe that was the part that terrified me.

We walked further through the store, Rae picking up little trinkets here and there, but I wasn’t really paying attention. She was right, of course. I was complicated, too. Hell, it was because of my complicated past that I’d ended up here.

My mind jumped from Mason to Denver, to a time I’d rather not think about. The holiday cheer surrounding me only made the memories sharper, more painful. Christmas had always been my favorite time of year—celebrating, giving the perfect gift, looking forward to playing happy families—until everything fell apart.

I stopped by another rack of scarves, running my fingers over the soft fabric as I tried to shake the thoughts away.

“Do you think these are better?” she asked, looking at the scarves.

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t really think that far. I was just… thinking.” I hesitated, but something about being here, with Rae, made it easier to talk to her. And getting rid of all the baggage that haunted me some days wasn’t the worst idea.

“Back in Denver, I had this life… or at least, I thought I did. I had a fiancé, a best friend, a business I loved. And then, one day, I found out they were sleeping together.”

Rae gasped, but she kept quiet.

“It was bad enough knowing that my best friend and my fiancé were together. What was worse was when I went to my parents to tell them the wedding was off, when I cried on my cousin’s shoulder, when I talked to my other bridesmaids… it turned out everyone knew except me.”

“Oh, Cami…” Rae said softly. “That’s…”

“Bullshit,” I said nonchalantly. “They should have told me, but they didn’t think I could handle it.”

“So, they were just going to let you go through with it and not tell you?” Rae asked, looking as confused as I’d been at the time.

“I don’t know. Every time I’d asked them what the alternative would have been, what would have happened if I hadn’t found out, no one could give me an answer. No one could tell me they would have let me live in a relationship that was built on lies; no one could tell me they wouldn’t have let me know that my best friend was also the one to stab me in the back.”

Rae shook her head, at a loss for words.

“It was humiliating. They weren’t even trying to hide it toward the end. It had been going on for months, and I had no idea. It made me feel like such an idiot—like I wasn’t paying attention to the people closest to me. I should have known. I should have seen signs or something…”

Rae put her hand on my arm. “Don’t you dare take the blame for that. That’s on them, not on you. It’s not your job to look for a reason to trust someone.”

“I know.” But it was much easier said than done. Hindsight was always twenty-twenty, and looking back, there had been signs. I’d just been too in love to see them. Or too stubborn. Or too something .

Whatever it was, it had come out eventually.

“It made me realize how much I had relied on them,” I said as we walked on. “I thought they were my world, and when they betrayed me, I didn’t know who to trust anymore. That’s why coming here… building a new life in Silver Ridge has been so important to me. I’m starting to find real friendships. Real connections.”

Rae smiled. “This town is good for that. I felt the same when I first arrived. I was sure I would just pass through, but then the town and the people drew me in and before I knew it, I had a family. We’re small, but we take care of our own and you can always trust the people here.”

“Like Mason?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She chuckled, nodding. “Mason might not admit it, but yeah. He cares and he’s trustworthy. And I know you’re scared—trust me, I get it. I was terrified when I fell for Tanner. After what I’d been through, the idea of opening up to someone again… it was hard. But sometimes, the risk is worth it.”

I swallowed, my throat tightening. The idea of letting myself care about Mason—of letting him in—was terrifying. I didn’t even know if it was anything more than physical attraction. But something about him drew me, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

All. The. Damn. Time.

He was so different from anyone I’d ever known. Somehow, despite only talking twice and having that moment where we didn’t talk at all… how could something like that feel as real as it did?

You’re losing your mind , I told myself. It’s just lust, and you’re looking for love after being scorned. Maybe I just needed to get it out of my system, to let him fuck me and be done with it.

Because that was what I wanted. Not a sweet, gentle lovemaking. I wanted him hard and fast.

“All I know,” Rae said out of the blue, “is that you won’t know what the future holds until you try.” If only she knew that I’d been thinking about hot wild sex with him while she was referring to love. “Just don’t shut that door before you’ve given it a chance. You might be surprised.”

I nodded, tugging on the ear of a stuffed bunny. Rae was right. I had found something in Silver Ridge—something real, something worth fighting for. A life that felt worth it when I’d thought I would never have something like this again.

But the idea of opening myself up again, of trusting someone with my heart, still terrified me. And Mason… well, Mason was a whole different kind of risk.

“So, do you think we should get that scarf?” Rae asked, changing the topic back to the reason we came.

“Yeah, do you think she’ll like it?”

“She’ll love it,” Rae said with a smile, and I nodded.

We walked to get the scarf, and I paid for it, focusing on the little things.

That was much safer than the other things I was thinking about.